#217 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (16th September 2019)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com, a very groovy website you really should visit. Oh, it's amazing. There's pages on there, there's things you can click on.

It's really good. There's even pictures. There's a gallery which has got lots of pictures of Andre on there.

There's, yeah, there's lots of things. All of my recordings, all of my audio recordings are on there, all organized into categories. So everything is very easy to find and you can play and download and stream and download everything that I've got on there.

There's 1000, about 1050 recordings I think are on there since 2006. What else? There's an about me page where I just, I don't give a lot of information really, but just a little bit. There's a contact me page, so you can contact me by phone, by mail, by email, by filling in a form on the page, by Facebook, Twitter, Skype and WhatsApp.

Yeah, so there's a few different ways that you can send me a message. What else is there? There's a gift me page where you can, if you choose, you can send me a gift. And there's lots of different options and ways that you can show your appreciation or other ones.

There's a testimonial page where you can read testimonials and there's a write a testimonial page where you can write a testimonial. You can let me know what you think of what I do. I added a new one, a new page today, but I forget what it is.

What new page did I add today? So the gallery's on there. I'm sure I added a new page. I can't remember.

Oh well. So this, yeah, I'm continuously building it. It's all up and running and it works.

Everything's on there as far as the content. But I'm, you know, I'm using WordPress and I'm going to try and make it look a bit nicer and add a few bits on there just to make it more homey kind of. But it's a place to contact me.

Also, everything I've got is on there. And of course, you've got all the podcasts that are on Spreaker and all, you know, depends what podcast service you use. So I've got about 45 podcasts and so that's it.

Yeah, so my name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. And please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.

So I think that's everything that I need to say at the beginning of this recording. I would like to say thank you to those of you that have sent me gifts recently. I really appreciate it.

You know who you are. And some people don't like me to mention their names so of course I'm showing respect for that. So I'm trying perhaps not to mention anyone's names anymore when it comes to gifts and things.

But I do really appreciate your support and really appreciate you listening because without you listening there would be no podcasts. And so it's groovy. That's my word of the day, groovy.

I'm talking about words. Guess what I'm going to do. Guess what I've got in my hand right now.

I've got the school dictionary again, which is the Collins School Dictionary from what year? Hmm, it normally has a year doesn't it? Oh, 2016. Wow, that's a fairly new edition. So I've been building up a few little books collection.

It's a tiny little library. I've got, how many books have I got? One, two, three, four, five, I think, five books. And I've been getting them from secondhand shops and, you know, this for example was two pound from The Works.

So theworks.co.uk. It's a shop where you can, you know, like it's a physical shop as well as, I guess, being online. And they just sell cheap stuff. They sell stuff cheaply.

And, you know, so that's, you know, you know, you know, I'm going to say the word, you know, quite a lot. You know what, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? There was a time, I used to be a big Frank Bruno fan. He's a boxer, heavyweight boxer.

He became the world champion in 1995, I do believe. And I was a fan of his from the, I suppose, middle, middle eighties, early eighties. And I went through a little phase where I used to talk like him.

Because when he did interviews, he used to say, you know what I mean, Harry? You know what I mean? You know what I mean, Harry? Like that. And, that's how he used to laugh. You know what I mean, Harry? And I, I don't know if I want, maybe I wanted to be like him, but I just used to copy that and say, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? It must have been so annoying to other people, but there you go.

So the point of this podcast is to be boring. To talk about stuff in a boring way so that it can help your brain to slow down. And as you focus on my voice, you're no longer thinking about stuff, whatever stuff you was thinking about before that might have been getting in the way of, you know, sleeping or relaxing in order to sleep.

So unlike some of my more hypnosis-y podcasts and recordings, this is just me chatting. That's just really all it is. Sometimes I will talk about what is going on in my life, and other times I just make stuff up.

And then other recordings, I'll read a little bit out of a book or, you know, it's just different. Everyone, everything is different, yet similar, if that makes sense. So I'm trying to expand my reservoir, or the repertoire, reservoir to include things like, I've got a book on chickens that I got a few days ago, and I did read a little bit out of that book.

And I'd like to do some other stuff as well. Andre's just come back into the living room after spending the last half of an hour or so in the bedroom with his girlfriend, who is now very, very thirsty. He's having a big old drink of water.

And I'm guessing he's going to go and have some food as well, because there is food there waiting for him to nibble on and chew and, you know, all the processes involved in eating. Eating. So as per usual, whenever I start recording, he pops out.

That's why I was going to get a shed. I probably mentioned this in previous recordings. I was going to buy a shed on the catalogue and pay it off over a few months, have it in my bedroom, and make my recordings in there.

So you don't have that background of him. Although I know that some people would quite like the idea that he's in the background running around and playing, because he's definitely got a lot of fans. And in a way, it would be quite nice to have a video so I could show you what exactly he is doing right now.

Because I've got this, or I say I've got, he's got this big, I think it's 12 foot tunnel. He's got a 12 foot tunnel. It's like this plastic tunnel that he climbs through.

And he basically climbs through it, but not, he like goes upside down and climbs through it. So he seems to like it. I think it scratches him as well.

It kind of gives him, it gets him an opportunity to scratch his back. And he seems to like it in there. Sometimes he goes to sleep when he's in there.

But now he's drinking some water again. He's got this thing where he dips his chin in the water. And now he's going to have some dinner.

So he's having some wet food, which is cat food that he has. And his bowl of dry food is very much overflowing. So that's, he generally only eats the dry food when the wet food has been completed.

It's like his second option, as it were. You know, today, I say today, but yesterday, because it's now Monday, it's 12.35 in the morning. On Monday, the, I think it is the 16th of September 2019.

And yesterday was actually a really relaxing day for me. I was up quite late in the morning, or till about, about nine o'clock in the morning is when I went to bed on Sunday morning. But I made three recordings.

I did a let me bore you to sleep, a deep sleep whisper hypnosis, which I hadn't done for a week. I can't believe it had been that long. And I also made a sleep hypnosis weekly, which was due to be made.

So I made three recordings. I, and I stayed up because, well, normally I'll kind of stay up anyway, but I was, I was listening on the radio to Tyson Fury Boxing, which started at, I think it was five o'clock, which is something like nine o'clock American time, wherever it was, Las Vegas, possibly. And so I listened to that and it finished about half past six or 25 minutes past six, because the, the DJs or the radio presenters normally start at six o'clock and they were talking about how they couldn't believe that they didn't start until 25 past six instead of six o'clock.

And that's about all it is. There was a lady and a man talking. And I think the man said, how are you? And she said, I'm okay considering it's 625.

And he said, oh, she said, yeah. And I turned the radio over to something else because I'd watched what I wanted to watch and that was all I needed to, to watch or listen to rather. Although what I did, today I actually watched the boxing on YouTube, watched the whole fight, which was cool.

So I woke up, I did a bit during the day and listened to some, listened to some, yeah, watched the boxing and watched a few other bits and listened to some stuff during the day. But I spent a lot of the day asleep. But this evening I got quite a lot of work done on the website.

Now I'm always rolling about in a plastic bag. I was hoping he was just going to go to sleep, but he seems to be in his awake state, which is when he starts to be naughty sometimes. Although the, what was it, the kitchen cupboard that he likes to open and bang in order to get my attention so that I go in there and then he can run away from me and play, which is, you know, it's good fun, but I don't always want to do that because I might be making a recording.

Now he's behind me doing a, well, you don't want to know what he's doing. Let's put it this way, let's say he's decorating the newspaper on the floor. Yeah.

Now he's in the chair underneath me or underneath the chair that I'm sitting on. Oh, he's gone back to bed. He's gone back to bed.

Yay, good. It's kind of weird because we, our energies clash sometimes, because sometimes I just want to cuddle him and play and he's asleep and he's like pushing me away, go away dead, too tired. And then other times I'm asleep, like earlier today, I was in bed lying down asleep and he came in.

And first of all, he started scratching at the carpet and I could just, I opened my eye a little bit so he just, so I could see what he's doing and he was just staring at me because he wanted me to get out of bed and play. So I just laid there and he climbed onto the bed and he started, you know, just like climbing all over me and nibbling at my ear and nibbling at my eye, licking my eye, eyebrow. And then he went down and that sounded weird, didn't it? And then he just walked down to my feet, down, you know, down my leg to my feet.

And I thought he's going to start biting my toes now because that's, he knows that that gets my attention. And he did start playing with my toes, you know, with his hands. And he did put his mouth over the toe, but he didn't bite.

He just had a good, I think he sniffed it and he just fell unconscious because of the smell of my feet. It was so bad that it just knocked him out and he fell asleep. So that was quite good.

But then I decided to get out of bed anyway. So in this dictionary, lick, verb, if you lick something, you move your tongue over it. Noun, the action of licking.

It's a noun, it's an action. Oh, life assurance. I don't know what life assurance is.

I like life insurances. It's a noun. Life assurance is an insurance which provides a sum of money in event of the policyholder's demise.

So, but what is life insurance then? I thought that was insurance. So life, that must be the same thing then. Assurance and insurance.

Because I used to work in insurance. Oh, show business. What does it say here? It's a noun.

Show business is entertainment in the theatre, films and television. Shovel, shovels, shoveling, shoveled. Noun, one, a tool like a spade used for moving earth or snow.

Verb, to. If you shovel earth or snow, you move it with a shovel. Oh, shrink.

Oh look here. Shrinks, shrinking, shrank, shrank, shrunk. Verb, if something shrinks, it becomes smaller.

If you shrink for something, you move away from it because you are afraid of it. Shrinkage, shrivel, shrivels, shriveling, shriveled. Verb, when something shrivels, it becomes dry and withered.

Oh, serenade. Let's have a look at serenade. Verb, one, if you serenade someone you love, you sing or play music to them outside their window.

Noun, to a song sung outside a woman's window by a man who loves her. That's a bit sexist, isn't it? And why does it have to be outside a window? What's wrong with it being outside a door? I mean, surely if somebody is, I'm just thinking of an example of someone that I used to want to serenade. She worked in a coffee shop and had this little dream that one day, if I had the money, I could pay for a big trailer with a stage to be parked outside where she worked and get her back in band and start to serenade her.

But that wouldn't be serenading through a window. It would be more through the front door of that particular premises. In some ways, it would be serenading her through on other people's ears, because that doesn't really make sense.

Serenade her through embarrassment. I think that's why if I ever proposed to somebody, I would do it so that they had to say yes. Even if they changed their mind afterwards, just to put the pressure on.

So I'd do it on like a television show or a sporting event, have it organized so it's filmed on live television. That way, she'd have to say, well, she doesn't have to, but she'd feel pressured to say yes. At least then it'd be nice to have had a yes, rather than, I'd like you as a friend, or we can't because I'm your teacher.

Or who are you? Why are you asking me to marry you? Or did you not see the police injunction? Leave me alone. Or servant. Servant.

Noun. Someone who is employed to work in another person's house. I do wonder, you know, when you think, well, you might not think, but sometimes I wonder about what kind of life or living or standard of living I would have had, let's say, 100 years ago.

You know, 1919, or 200 years ago. And I know it would depend very much on where I was born and, you know, the type of family I had and financially, you know, what their situation was. But I know that my family background was working class.

You know, going back, I mean, my grandmother's father worked on the roads. So he was Irish and he came to England and he worked on the roads and I'm not sure what her mother did. And my mother's father, I do believe, was a lorry driver.

So they were all working class and I'm guessing probably lived in council houses. Because it was, I think it was quite difficult to own your own house in the sort of 60s and stuff. This, I think I might be wrong.

I might have just made it up. And I do wonder what I would have done. Maybe I'd have been a servant.

Maybe I'd have been a criminal. I don't know. Because those born today, you know, sort of in the last, maybe 50 years, this has been, I suppose, technically one of the best times to have been born so far, as far as technology goes.

Perhaps, I don't know. I guess that's up for opinion, isn't it? But I wasn't massively impressed with the 70s, even though I was only a little kid. I just, I had no knowledge of politics or any of that kind of stuff.

I'm fairly knowledgeable now about British politics but not so much about other countries. And I think part of the reason for that is because there's just been so much going on in my country, politically, over the last few years that it's just got just, you know, it's just non-stop. And probably the same everywhere, I guess.

But when I was a little child, I was pretty much oblivious to any of that stuff. Should we have a look at the word oblivious? Oblivious. Is it oblivious or oblivious? Oblivious.

Oblivious. L-M-O-P-B-O-B-O-A-O-B. B-L-E-L-I-T-C.

I nearly got a thesaurus the other day, and I still may do so.

because thesauruses are in some ways a bit more interesting although I know that this is not supposed to be interesting but the examples of using the words within a sentence I find to be somewhat useful so ob-c-b-c ob-b-a-b-c here's a question for you and it might it's not going to be the same everywhere but why the bathroom lights so the lights in a bathroom you know the big string that you pull down and click to turn the light on and off why is it still so damn loud so that you can hear someone else's light

being turned on I don't want to see I don't want to hear another person's bathroom light being turned on just like I don't want other people to hear my bathroom light being turned on which is why I leave the bathroom light on all night so that I don't disturb other people but I realize I'm in the minority there obliterate what was it ob ob oh I've forgotten the word obvious ob obtuse no obtuses it's an adjective whatever that is someone who is obtuse is stupid is stupid or slow to understand things I wonder or there's

me going I wonder what obtuse means someone is stupid or slow to understand things or two for maths an obtuse angle or angel not angle is an angle between 90 and 180 degrees ob ob ob oblivion oblivion okay well oblivion includes oblivious so oblivion noun oblivion is unconsciousness or complete lack of awareness of your surroundings oblivious adjective obliviously adverb an obscure obscure let's see what it says here obscure adjective number one is something that is obscure is known by only a few people it gives an example an obscure Mongolian dialect and number two something obscure

is difficult to see or to understand and another example the news was shrouded in obscure language and then a verb three to obscure something is uh to make it difficult to see or understand his view was obscured by trees so something that's obscure is known by only a few people so I guess I'm obscure aren't I I'm only known by a few people like worldwide really a few thousand obscure so I should call myself the obscure hypnotist or the obscure boring man holy observation now wait a minute observant observant adjective someone who is observant notices

things that are not easy to see I would say that I'm pretty observant sometimes that's it there's no jokes there that's it that's what I think I see qualities in myself that no one else sees so observation observation is the act of watching something carefully so gives an example success hinges on close observation and number two something that you have seen or noticed number three a remark number four observation is the ability to notice things that are not easy to see so I suppose if we go to observe verb I like to think of myself

as being about seven foot tall I also like to think that I'm quite observative observe observative is that a word observe observer an observer yeah but observative that's a word isn't it it's not in here though and it says observe verb one to observe something is to watch it carefully number two to observe something is to notice it number three if you observe that something is the case you make a comment about it and number four to observe a law or custom is to obey or follow it that says observer noun observable adjective adjective so

little other words there are pocket money noun pocket money is an amount of money given regularly to children by their parents it's very simplistic could be money given by somebody else like an uncle or an aunt or I often give my my father pocket money I do I give him when I see him I give him 50 pence to go and buy some sweets when I was uh when I was what was it seven and started to visit my I think it was my granddad's mother and she was auntie nanny waker that's what we called

her nanny waker and she was in bed she's very very very elderly and she I think she was in bed most of the time but she used she loved seeing us and she'd give us money to go to the shops and buy some sweets or buy her like a comic or a book or something and and I really enjoyed getting that money I really you know I look forward to seeing her because that money was just really nice just to go to the shop and buy stuff and you know I like that I think it

was a novelty to me because I hadn't had that before so you know up to the age of seven I hadn't had anybody give me money to go to the shops and for me to go and get something for myself so it is kind of special special little memory of mine something like what it says under the word nanny n a n i n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n i n n i n n n n n n n n n n n n

n n n n n n nag nag what's that look saying what is this saying nag nags nagging nagged verb one if you nag someone, you keep complaining to them about something.

Two, if something nags at you, it keeps worrying you.

So a nag, what about a horse? Isn't a horse a nag? Oh, it's got navel, navel, noun, the small hollow on the front of your body just below your waist. I'm not sure if I've got a navel anymore. I haven't seen it for a long time.

What if I do? So nan, N-A, nanny. Okay, it's got nanny here. Nanny's noun, a woman whose job is looking after young children.

So this is only three years old, this book, this dictionary, and it's for schools. So they're not, surely anyone, men and women could be nannies now, can't they? There's a job. I would imagine.

Nativity, noun. In Christianity, the nativity is the birth of Christ or the festival celebrating this. Let's have a look.

Neighbour, noun. Your neighbour is someone who lives next door to you or near you. Your neighbour is also someone standing or sitting next to you.

Now I've never heard that before. And it's given an example. I got chatting with my neighbour in the studio.

Never have I ever heard or said that ever. No, never. I was waiting in the dentist's waiting room and I got chatting to my neighbour.

No. Unless they're your neighbour that lives next door. I was at the bus stop talking to my neighbour.

And it sounds like your neighbour's following you around. Nephew, noun. Someone's nephew is the son of their sister or brother.

Ooh. Nervous system, noun. Your nervous system is the nerves in your body together with your brain and spinal cord.

L, M, release. Let's have a look what this says. Release.

Verb, one. To release someone or something means to set them free or remove restraints from them. To.

To release something also means to issue it or makes it available. For example, he is releasing an album of love songs. How did they know? I didn't like the idea of releasing an album of love songs.

And just kind of needs to be done in a recording studio with someone that can provide the background music as well as patience for me to sing. But I'd also like to release a Christmas album. There's a couple of things I'd like to do.

It's one of those, it'd just be a buzz for me. It'd just be exciting. However strange that may seem, but it just, for me, it'd be like, wow, what a great thing.

I've just made a, I've got an album, you know. I think with the right recording and the, you know, the decent background music, I could put together quite a nice little album of songs. But that's something that I want to do one day.

And I can make it available for people to buy. Yeah. I might sell about five of them, I reckon.

Yes, some people might like it. I can, I can sing-ish. My voice is not as high as it used to be.

Although, you know, the other day I was in town and there was this man playing a guitar, busking. And he looked, I would say he was in his 60s. But his voice was lovely.

And there's no reason for his voice not to be lovely, because it is 60s. But the voice does seem to change with time. You know, someone that can sing really high notes when they're 20, perhaps can't quite reach those notes when they hit 40, perhaps.

I used to be able to do all the high notes, just like Michael Jackson. Not so much now. But that's okay.

Relish. Oh, that's a weird noise I made there. Relish.

Verb. One. If you relish something, you enjoy it.

He relishes the idea of getting some cash. Noun. Number two.

Relish is enjoyment. He told me with relish of the wonderful times he had. Whatever.

And number three. Relish is also a savoury sauce or pickle. And now we'll end with the word relax.

So it's verb one. If you relax, you become calm and your muscles lose their tension. Two.

If you relax your hold, you hold something less tightly. And number three. To relax something also means to make it less strict or controlled.

The rules governing student contact or conduct were relaxed. Relaxation noun. So I hope that listening to me, going through some of the words of the Collins School Dictionary was somewhat relaxing.

And I'm going to go now and I will speak to you again very soon. And please remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love.

Bye.