#220 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (20th September 2019)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. Yeah, that's the introduction done.

Now, let me think. So I'd like to say thank you to Molly who left a or wrote a testimonial on my website and just thank you. It was a really nice thing to wake up to today and if you would like to also leave a testimonial just go to my website and there's a page with, you know, the menu write a testimonial and click on that and you can tell me what you think.

And also there's quite a few testimonials on there already you can read. Now, so let's think what I'm going to do today. I didn't make one of these yesterday and something I made, I made two recordings yesterday evening because now we're in the morning.

Yesterday evening after about 10 o'clock I made a deep sleep whisper hypnosis recording and a deep sleep, what was it called, I don't know, relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. That one lasted about 50 minutes and the other one was about 22 minutes long. After I recorded those, I felt uplifted.

My mood raised after making those recordings and I don't know why I sound surprised when I say this but but making these recordings clearly are good for me. So hey, I shall continue then. Not for that reason but that's a little added bonus.

So yeah, I was kind of not surprised but interested in why and I think maybe see my podcasts are all very different actually in a sense of the ones I do regularly, this one, so there's a let me put you to sleep where I just ramble on for an hour. There's the deep sleep whisper hypnosis where I whisper and it lasts about 20 minutes and it's very focused, yeah quite focused. There's the sleep hypnosis weekly which is a longer but not a whisper one, it's a longer sleep hypnosis session.

And then I've got the the fourth one which I do regularly and I've started to do that more often is the relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety, panic attacks. That one, what I say seems to flow out of me and I am, I would say I'm kind of surprised sometimes at how, well how it flows naturally and easily and I suppose I'm kind of almost confident, I suppose not almost, I guess I am confident when I make those recordings because with the sleep sessions that I make I don't really have any issues with sleeping myself. I have in the past and that was generally due to stress.

I had one job in a pub when I was 18, that's a few, a bar serving alcohol and stuff and I have to be careful how I describe this because I'm trying not to put myself down because most of my life I've always said I'm rubbish at maths and I'm crap at maths and I don't want to say that stuff about myself anymore you know, that sounds like I'm going to cry doesn't it, I don't want to say that stuff that was more like Lolan Hardy that was so I don't want to put myself down

and I'd like you to join me in that as well not putting me down but to not put yourself down and not, you know, maybe when you're about to say something that perhaps you said to yourself lots of times I'm no good at this, I can't do this, I'm rubbish at that, that kind of stuff that I would guess that we all say at some time about something and quite often it would be out loud to another person.

The amount of times I've told people I haven't got an artistic bone in my body and regardless of my, and I will say my lack of artistic talent when it comes to painting and drawing and stuff like that it's definitely not going to get any better if I keep telling myself that I'm rubbish at it at the same time I'm doing zero to help it get better because I don't draw anything or paint anything or attempt it so it's kind of instead of saying oh I'm I'm rubbish at that maybe, you know, I haven't learned

to do it I've not discovered my inner talent, I've not discovered yet my inner painter Anyway, I kind of class what I do as an art artistic, kind of this, kind of artistic, it's creative and it's I think of it as an artistic thing, kind of painting with words, kind of but at the same time I know I'm no linguist because I don't use lots, I'm quite a plain speaker I speak with plain language and I could use words that aren't used very often in conversations and I almost feel like I was showing off if

I'd have to learn the words first but I do want to get a thesaurus and start playing around with some of those words in this podcast because it'd be interesting because I like to learn new things but I like to have fun learning new things.

See, I could talk to you making this recording and I could talk about the history of of neolithic men, is that a real thing?

Or I could talk about the bronze age or I could, you know, which doesn't interest me like generally, I'm not that bothered about it you know, it's not something, you know, it's not a hobby, it's not something that I have passion for and brilliant to those that do because those that do are the ones that have paved the way to find out our history which makes sense and kind of explains our present, I guess but if I was to read a book about, I don't know, the history of toilets, lavatories, if I was if I

was going to do that, which I, if you've got a book like that, please send it to me and I will read bits out of it or if you find one on Amazon or something just go to my website and there's a post address up there.

Honestly, I will, if you put your name on there as well, I will read it.

In the book and I will mention your name every time so that you're connected to toilets but I will, you know, I'm up for that, you know, the history of worms, different kinds of worms and but I get to learn new things that I didn't necessarily need to know but I don't necessarily not need to know or, you know, it's not necessarily useless information compared to the sort of stuff that I might pick up from watching the news or political programs because, you know, sometimes I can watch a political program or an interview with a

politician and 15 minutes afterwards think, I don't actually know what they said, it was just a bunch of words that sounded important and sounded like they were, you know, with every answer like, well that's a great question, let me answer that question that you've just given me, I really think it's a brilliant question, you're a great interviewer.

Yeah, someone else asked me a very similar question recently and I answered them as well and I don't want to give this exactly the same answer here in case other people might have seen that interview before and we don't want repetition like that but one of my colleagues once said to me, if you do get asked a question then do your utmost to avoid answering that particular question but add filler, add filler, you know, like a package that you're sending in Amazon, you know, it might be a tiny little thing, object but it's full of

polystyrene and plastic and, you know, cardboard so it fills it up so it looks like a big box but actually it's not a big item, it's just in a big box so it looks impressive and then you end up filling the 15 minutes up with nothing.

Merry Christmas.

I did actually have that, I had, I can't remember what it was but honestly I ordered two items from Amazon, one was a, one was a small item, physically small item, one was a larger item and Amazon, well I've always found Amazon to be really really good for delivery, they deliver, you know, unless the products come in from another country so it's not always so quick so if the product's coming from America I've waited sometimes, you know, a couple of weeks to get the product but if Amazon are delivering it themselves usually it's delivered from

the UK and it comes really quick and I'm not saying that to promote Amazon but let's give credit, you know, they are, when it comes to customer service they seem to really be good at what they're doing and also I'd like the owner of Amazon to give me a couple of billion dollars just as I've promoted him because, you know, a few thousand people are going to hear this eventually at some point over time so that that's going to increase his share sharehold and his stock shares surely.

Anyway, I've got this package, knock at the door, bang bang bang and, well it wasn't bang bang bang if it was a knock but I don't have a door in front of me to knock on, I don't carry a door around oh wait a minute, I might have one in my pocket, so I go to the door, I'm expecting a delivery but I thought, you know, there'd be two packages but there was just one and he said, oh it's just one package, I said isn't, where, where's the other one and he said just give me

a break mate, will you, I'm not interested in talking, don't, what, what, just leave me alone, just sign for this, can you please, I said what do you mean just sign for it, I'm asking you where's the other package and he said there is no other package, he said you're really winding me up now, I said I only asked you once, didn't know you've asked me twice now, now if I were you, I'd go inside and close the door and I thought his voice is getting deeper and what I said to him, what I did

is, I said wait a minute, look at this, I pulled my trousers up and I showed him my socks and I took one of the socks off and put it on my hand, right, I'm a lucky little glove puppet and I said sorry and he started laughing, so I made a little cuddle and then he went, so I got the, I put my sock back on obviously because it was cold and this package, big old package, brought it in, dragged it in, Andre loves boxes, loves, loves boxes, I mean I'm improper, loves them, it's the

smell, it, because cardboard, if you've ever worked in a factory, which I have, I worked in a few different places, factories that had boxes which, and there's a smell to the boxes, I'm not quite sure how to explain it but, so I've had jobs where we used to get pallets of boxes that were all flat, flat packed and you'd make, you know, you'd make them into boxes, kind of like an industrial scale origami and it was, there's that smell, the smell of fresh cardboard, it's quite nice, I still quite like it, I'm not, I'm not

saying that I spend hours sniffing cardboard, it's not, it's not a thing, you know, it's not a thing, I don't have an issue with it, I don't need therapy, not for that anyway, and Andre loves the box and what I normally do is I put the box in the hallway and I let Andre climb all over it and like sniff and thinking, what's in it, what's in it, Daddy, Daddy, you can open it yet, you can open it yet, and I think, nah, I'm not going to open it yet, nah, and I'll sit and I'll

just sit there watching telly and he'll be, Daddy, please, please, can we open the box, I need to see what's inside, I said, nah, I don't think so, no, no, he said, Daddy, please, please, so eventually I'll give in and I bring the box into, sometimes, okay, sometimes I open it in the living room, sometimes I open it in the bedroom, there have been occasions, not that often, that I've opened it in the hallway, there have even been occasions, very, very rarely, and a long, long time ago, that I opened the box outside the front

door, which is what I had to do with this big, black, squeaky chair, because it was too big to fit the box through the front door, so I had to, the chair was in two pieces, so I had to take the, well, I just basically had to take each piece and bring it through to the living room, or the lounge, or the breakfast room, it's kind of everything, really, I do wonder, what would it be like if I lived with somebody here, you know, with a nice lady who, you know, just like, had, it was

in a relationship, in love and all that stuff, all that, it's, eww, she's a girl, I'm kissing you, it's a girl, not like that anymore, but I was when I was seven, and I don't know what, what it would be like, whether I could handle being around somebody all the time, I don't know, because I like farting, and that's not necessarily a reason not to have a relationship, and to, it's not a reason, it's not, it's not a reason to, it's not something that you get away in the way of your happiness, so I guess

that's what I'm trying to say, if I met someone, and would you like to go out, I really like you, and I said, no thanks, because I like to fart at inappropriate moments, whenever I feel like it, and I won't hide my farts, like I'm ashamed, like I'm ashamed of them, and it does, I mean, I don't know, that seems like a really petty reason not to have a relationship, especially if I meet someone that likes me, because that hasn't happened for quite a while, I thought it happened recently, but I don't, I was, I

thought I was gonna, I kind of thought I might have met someone that likes me, but it didn't quite work out, it hasn't, so, but we'll see, you never know, I mean, but I just wonder, because technically this flat is big enough for two people, I've got a double bed, there's a living room, bedroom, there's two, two rooms, kitchen, bathroom, hallway, storage room, so it's big enough for two people technically, but then two people are living here, because Andre's living here with me, so, and that's one of the things, because I've got paper, I've got

newspaper on the floor for him to go to the toilet on, and unfortunately he's untrainable, he was, I did everything I could to try and get him to go in one particular place, and he won't, won't do it, so I have to kind of cover all scenarios, and even then I don't always manage to get, you know, get the right place, and the reason for that is because he doesn't spend all his time in a cage, and that's on me really, because I've got a cage for him, but he doesn't live like a ferret, he

doesn't live like a ferret in the wild, obviously, because he's not in the wild, but he doesn't live like a ferret who lives in a house either, it's like that he's living with someone, because he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, he's got the whole flat, he can go in all the rooms, apart from the storage room, he's got access to all the rooms, and when I go to bed, and I don't want him disturbing me, I close the living room door and leave him in here, so he's got this whole room, all

his toys, multiple places to sleep, go to the toilet, he's got food, water, everything he needs, and a big room, in fact, you could probably fit one, two, three, four, probably fit probably 40 of his cages in this room, just stacked on top of each other, so yeah, probably about, yeah, probably about 30 or 40 cages, so that gives you the kind of space, I realise, you know, I do have gravity in this room, so he doesn't, he doesn't have a little plane that he can fly around, but if he did, he could, you know,

so technically, you could say, well, he hasn't really got that much space, because it's just the floor, yeah, I suppose, he does climb up on the chair, if he can get to the table, he'll climb up onto the table and get onto the laptop, he loves the laptop, but still, there's still, you know, he's got, he's got a bath, little bathtub full of dirt, as well as some of his toys are in there, and he's got two other, he's got a big box, a Lego box, which is this big plastic, cardboard, plasticky box, which is

for storage, and he's full of his toys and cuddly things, and he's got another thing, which has got lots of balls in it, and plastic bags and toys and stuff in there, he's got his big tunnel that he climbs through, the big plastic tunnel that he goes in, he's also got his girlfriend over there, which is my very old slipper, so I make sure that his girlfriend is in this room when I go to bed, so that he can, you know, he can be romantic, not that he needs me to be out of the room

when he does it, because he's, he's got no shame, really no shame at all, I mean, he's actually done it when I've been on making a recording, and it's really weird, because when he does it, he stares at me, it's, you know, he literally just stares at me, it's, I think he's trying to put me off, I think that's what it is, he's actually in bed now, because I, when I made those recordings a few hours ago, I closed this door in here, because I'm in the living room now, I closed that door, and I

went into the bedroom, and I closed that door, and I made those two recordings, so when I came in here, I didn't see him, but he must have just ran straight into the and he loves that bed, I don't know who loves it more, me or him, it's a real kind of, but I love my bed, always have, even, even the most rubbishy beds that I've lived and slept in over the years, always love the bed, you know, even if it's uncomfortable, I just, I get accustomed to it, but now I've got a nice bed,

that I suppose technically I'll need to change in a few years, because is it every seven years, we're supposed to change a bed, I've had mine for four years now, that's an expensive thing to change though, I think the bed cost me 350 pound, so those are the big items that I kind of, the only three, probably the three biggest purchases, three of the biggest purchases that I've made in my life, have been in this flat, there is the bed, which is about 350, I think, there is the washing machine, which is about 350, and

then there was the carpet, which was, it was on special offer, so it's about 600, which would cost me probably about a thousand pound to replace it now, which it does need replacing, but don't quite have a thousand, so I'd like to get a new carpet, if for no other reason just to see Andre's face, because he would go out of his mind, because imagine the smell of a new carpet, he wouldn't know what to do, he wouldn't know where to poo, he really wouldn't, it's like, because it'd be, none of his smell would be

on it, and I do have a carpet cleaner, like a proper, a carpet cleaner that I can use to clean, to clean the carpet, but especially for those parts that paper goes on, so I try and sort of keep the place clean and that, but the thing is, if someone comes in here, that's something, because I'm used to seeing it, I'm used to him doing a poo in the corner, and that's what I'm used to, and he does it on the paper, and I'm, you know, it doesn't faze me at all, and even cleaning up

him, you know, cleaning him up after, if he has an accident or whatever, I have to clean up the carpet, it doesn't bother me, it's annoying, but it doesn't really bother me, but someone else might not like it, they might think, uh, and I'll be honest with you, if someone came around here and went, I wouldn't, I don't know, I don't think I'd really enjoy hearing that, because even though, you know, regardless of what he does, I connect it to him, and the love I have for him, so it doesn't, it doesn't really bother me,

it can be annoying at times, it doesn't bother me, bother me, you know, but then the other day, I looked after my friend's dog, and Andre loves him, and he loves Andre, but Andre tries to bully him, and he keeps biting his feet, and this dog is a big, big, one of the strongest dogs I've ever met, you know, and I used to have, when I was a kid, we had a St Bernard, St Bernard, St Bernard, you know, and they're huge and strong, this dog, maybe not quite on that level of strength, but still

really strong, but back then I wasn't as strong as I am now, so I was a teenager, like 14 or whatever, so I'm a heck of a lot bigger and heavier and stronger now than I was then, so I'm thinking that the dog now, this dog is on par with that St Bernard, with strength, not with size or heaviness, but just with pure strength, and it's embarrassing because sometimes I'll walk him, if I'm with my friend, I'll like carry, I'll take the lead a little bit, and it's fine until the dog decides to walk in

a different direction, and I end up being dragged along, I'm on the floor crying, and that's embarrassing, he literally, honestly, he nearly pulled my arm out of the socket, like this, so you could see, just like running around, and my hand attached, just my arm dragging along, it was just so strong, so I looked after him last week for one day, and I always promised myself, I promised myself that I would never pick up dog poo, ever, it's just one of those things that I've never really aspired to do, it's, I don't know, it's kind

of, what other things would I not, would I kind of link to that, standing on a plane wing as it was flying, that's something that I've never really aspired to do, bungee jumping, no, no, no, or, you know, jumping out of a plane, no, no, picking up dog poo, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I mean, I suppose, at least, if you jump out of a plane, when you land, you're not thinking about, I've got to wash my hands, I've got to wash my hands, I've got to wash my hands, you know, and

this dog produces the biggest turds on the planet, honestly, the poo is actually bigger than him, unbelievable, you see it from space, guaranteed, so I've got these bags, so nowadays, and I should probably be careful what I say here, but you can't just leave it, because it's, you know, it's the law in where I am, you have to pick up the poo, not everybody does, but I think the rule of thumb is, if there's no one around, then just, you know, leave it, if no one's watching, I may be wrong, but I figure that's the

rule of thumb for most dog walkers, if there's no one, look around, if there's no one there, just kind of walk on, but it's quite a busy park, and so I took him out, the first thing he does, I think I picked his poo up once before, but this time he did three in two walks, twice in one walk, and it was so big, and so warm, so I mean, I picked it up with a bag, made sure that, you know, my hands are clean, you know, I don't want to go into details, but I'm

not an expert at it, but I kind of, I can be quite careful when I need to be, so I picked it up, and I couldn't believe how warm it was, I mean, there used to be a thing that you could buy for people that go fishing, or mountaineering, and there'd be these little cases, almost like little glasses, spectacle cases, and, but they were little, and inside you'd have this charcoal that you would light, and it would burn, but then you put it into the case, and it would warm up, and then you put it

into a little holder, or something, and you put it in your pocket, and it keep you, keep you nice and warm, like, you know, you could hold on to it, keep your hands warm, and, you know, well, I was thinking, you could use that with the dog, that dog poo, in the winter, would really, it would thaw your hands out, but of course, that's probably, it's possibly a bit gross, I don't know, I suppose, I never really can judge these things, but I didn't like, and the smell, oh, the smell just followed, it's almost just,

it almost seemed like his bum was just airing itself out, like it just stayed open, just to get some air in, or something, it's like, oh, the whole park, people, the other side of the park were fainting, so I got rid of it, not the dog, got rid of the poo bag, and then he does another one, like, really, I mean, come on, so yeah, it was, I just, no, I can't do that, I can't, I can't allow that, it just, and I even thought about getting a dog, before I got Andre, I was thinking

about getting a dog, and just a little one, to keep me company, you know, someone to love, really, I guess, but I got that of Andre, but he's a lot different to a dog, there's not one part of him that wants to please me, you know, like a dog wants to please you, wants to, you know, you're the dog's life, and the dog wants you to, attention, or wants all that stuff, Andre doesn't really need any of that stuff, occasionally he'll jump on me, and he wants to cuddle, and it doesn't really show that he

needs me that often, apart from when, like, earlier, I went and saw a neighbour, and Andre just lay there in my arms, and just, like, clung to me, so he does that, and I notice it, I don't, I don't, like, let him know that I've noticed, but he literally just, he doesn't move, he just stays there, in my arms, when normally he'd be wiggling around, and, you know, perhaps biting my hands, and jump climbing over me, and trying to get off, so I think there is a little bit of a, it's a bit of a

baby, still, like, towards me, I think I'm still, because I have babied him a lot, but I wanted to, I wanted to, I wanted him to just to, I suppose he is my baby, you know, and I don't need him to learn anything, I don't need him to learn social skills for when he goes out to work, you know, that kind of stuff's not relevant, I wish that he'd behave himself a little bit better sometimes, because when he wants something, that's all that matters, so when he wants to play, he'll make every single noise, scratch

the carpet, everything, until I get out of bed, or until he gets my attention, and I know he's doing it, because, well, I've just watched him, and I see what he does, but other times, I'll actually watch him, and he thinks I'm in the bathroom, because the bathroom door's pulled up, and normally, I leave the bathroom door open, unless I'm in there, or sometimes, even when I'm in there, and there's no one else in the flat, so he thought I was in there, because a lot of time, I do close it, if I'm in the

bath or something, or I want a bit of peace, and I see him, and I watch him, I'll be in the bedroom, and I see him just lie down in front of the bathroom door, waiting for me, and he's completely clueless that I'm sitting in the bedroom, on the bed, he's waiting for me to come out of the bathroom, it's kind of funny to watch, you see he's kind of, his little nose, trying to get underneath the door, that's what I used to love about kittens, is I used to live in a house that had

kittens, like cats, and they'd be sitting on the toilet, and this little paw go underneath the door, trying to get to me, that's funny, they're so cheeky, little kittens are, but he's not really like a cat either, you know he hasn't got that, he won't just come and sit on my lap for hours like a cat does, he's, I suppose he might do when he gets older, but at the moment he just, he doesn't need to, because he's got all this space, he has a bed to himself, he doesn't need to sit on my lap,

because he can go to sleep in the bed, he's got a double bed to sleep in, why would he want to squeeze onto a chair with me, I kind of wish he did a bit though, because I'd quite like that, not squeeze on a chair, but you know, just lay down and have a cuddle, but he goes through periods, sometimes I'll be watching telly or sitting down and he'll jump up and jump on and off of me, you know, 20 times in a matter of a few hours, just keep jumping up and cuddling and then

jumping off again, and depends on, I guess it depends on his mood, what he wants to do, how he's feeling, so I've got this box, let's have a little drink, I've got this box from Amazon and I open it up and there's another box inside it, which is half the size of the box, and the rest of the box is just full of plastic and like blown up inflated plastic, and I open that box up and inside there, with more cardboard putting it together, is the actual item, which is half the size of that box,

I was like, what?

Why did they send it in such a big box?

That's a big, that was a big box, you could fit a lot in there, and it wasn't even, it wouldn't even be a squeeze to get into the box, it was so big, plus all the room once you was in there, and I think Andre quite liked getting into my box, he was always trying to get into my box, like in the end, I think I put some, I put some toys and stuff in there, and I think I sealed, because it was, our box wasn't leaking, but it was, it was falling apart a bit,

so I sealed the front and the back, so that he could just go in the front, or what I might have done actually is I sealed the whole thing and made a hole in the side, so he could get into my box through the side hole, so I made like a special hole for him, and he liked my hole, he liked it, he used to nibble on it, it's a nibble around the hole, like around the rim of the hole, as if, almost as if he was trying to make it bigger, when it was big

enough already, the hole, my hole was, he could easily get into the hole, without it being, him nibbling the rim and trying to get it to, I don't know what he was, I suppose it's just the nature comes in doesn't it, with being a little ferret, he kind of, he wants to make it his own, wants to, I don't know, he just wanted to, I suppose experiment with the hole and put things in there and sort of see what, what fun he could have with the hole, I don't know, but he, it was amazing the

amount of stuff that he put in there, there was food, he was hiding all kinds of stuff, seriously, he was storing stuff in there, bits of food, I remember this one, one day, this is, this is quite a while ago, I had, someone was up here, a friend was up here, and I had a, what was it, it was a crunchy bar, so I had a crunchy bar and I think they were like party-sized crunchy bars, so they were small, so I gave him one, my friend, and I had one for myself, and he just

put it on the side of the chair, within two seconds Andre ran up his leg, grabbed the crunchy bar and was gone, and I was searching everywhere for it, not everywhere, I mean I didn't travel to France, but I was searching all around the flat, could not find the crunchy bar anywhere, and you know, even though it was gone, not even part of my brain thought, well perhaps I should give my friend my crunchy bar, or at least let him have some of it, no, I ate it all in front of him, but I just

couldn't find the crunchy bar anywhere, and then about six months later I found it, in his hole, he hid the crunchy bar in his hole, in that box, because I couldn't really get inside it, I'm not gonna get my hand up there, and it was kind of like, it's almost trying to like feel my way in the dark, so in the end I had to open the whole box up and I couldn't believe what I found, so many bits of pizza, there was all kinds of stuff, you know, just like seriously Andre, I think it

was a pen, or an old typewriter, it was like, where did you get this stuff from, a satellite dish, I just, it was the first edition from one of the Monkey's first songs, I just, where did you get this from, why isn't it signed, yeah, so it's, I got rid of that box, because it was a bit too big, but he loved going in there, constantly, he liked to climb on the top as well, because he could use it as a ladder to then get onto the table, or to get onto the bookcase, and then

he can get on the bookcase and push everything off, everything, every single book, so if I allowed him to get onto any of the bookshelves of my bookcase, he wouldn't stop till every book was pushed onto the floor, can't help himself, has to do it, it's almost inbuilt in him to do that, and I don't know why, I don't know why, why does he do it, I don't know, it's a very strange thing to do, it's almost like a, it's obligated to trash things, just seems a bit rude to me, maybe, but yeah, I don't

know what I was talking about, a box, the Amazon Andre, there was a reason for that, I can't remember what, so now what I'm hearing in the attic, there's birds, I've got a nest of birds up there, I can hear them like moving around and tweeting and talking, tweeting, yeah, they're on Twitter, sending messages to each other, and all I can hear is, dee dee dee dee dee dee, dee dee dee dee dee, whatever Twitter makes, what sound it makes, I can hear them, and the other day, I took Andre out early in the morning,

I say early, it was probably about half seven, and I don't know why, I think I put the rubbish in outside for the rubbish people, and I say rubbish, I'm not being insulting, they collect the rubbish, they're really good at what they do, they're really good rubbish people, people, and as I was in the garden with Andre, I was at the side of the house, side of the flats, and just the guttering, just where my flat is, I saw all these birds fly out one by one, they're living in the loft, or the loft space,

I was like wow, I've basically got lodgers that aren't paying, but what I don't understand is why, I thought they'd be asleep at this time of night, unless they're just up there thinking, I wish it's shut up, why is it making so much noise, we're trying to sleep, I hope that I'm fairly quiet to be fair, all things considered, I'm not exactly shatting, am I, not shatting, I'm talking rather quietly, I do believe, so I've got a couple of new podcasts, you know, I can't stop making podcasts, but these are just podcasts of all of

my stuff, so one's on SoundCloud, and the other one is podcast.

co, or podcast.

co, something like that, and one of them allows me to transcribe my podcast for free, it costs me £15 a month to be on their host as a podcast, but to be able to use their transcription service is really groovy, it just means it's going to take, yeah, it's going to take a nice while to build something, you know, to actually go through the process of not just transcribing them automatically, but going through them and editing them, and trying to make sense of them, with the hope of putting the transcription, some of them, onto the

actual podcasts, so that should be useful for those that are maybe hard of hearing, or just enjoy reading stuff, as well as listening, or instead of, as well as possibly increasing the Google search, so it might raise the podcast episode a bit higher on the Google search, because it's easier to index, because of the transcription, and the text, and also, I'd like, I want to write some books, and I've got so many audios, that I think that I could, with the right editing, and maybe with someone to help me, I could write some books that

people might like, or hopefully will like, or find useful, and there's a lot of books in me.

I'd like to kind of do a book to go along with future new podcasts, and new courses, and stuff that I do, so you know, I'm gonna, but not just ebooks, I'd like to do the ebooks, but also have it available to purchase as an actual physical book, as well, because that is super groovy, so I'm gonna ask for help for this, I'm gonna put the feelers out, to see if there's anyone that can help me to put this together, because I think it would be amazing, imagine, I don't know, just amazing to have a

book, to have one book, but to have lots would be cool, but you know, just the amount of audio, you know, hundreds and hundreds of hours of me talking, it means that there's a lot of books there, possibly, there's at least one anyway, but it's more than one, I'd say, so I'd be interested to see how it's gonna go, but you know, it's gonna take quite a bit of work on my part, to do what's necessary to get it, you know, as far as the editing, as far as the transcribing goes, that's the biggest part

of it, because once the transcription's done, then I'll have everything there in black and white, and I can say, well, that's a good bit, that's a good bit, cut and paste, cut and paste, and just organize everything into categories of what I've talked about, and maybe then say, well, I've talked a lot about the internal dialogue and self-talk, there's enough there for a book, and any book I do won't, it's not going to be an expert book, not going to be coming from an expert perspective, just some ideas, just my ideas, and hopefully they're useful,

and that's it.

The only thing I can really talk about as an expert is me, and my life, and how I feel, so with some of the podcasts, I can talk about my experiences, but I can never be an expert on another person, we can only be experts on ourselves, so anything that I do, write in a book, and as well as when I make podcasts, it's just ideas, I'm just making suggestions of ideas, and it's options, it's there, like a buffet, you just test a few bits, and if you like it, yay, anyway, I'm gonna go, because

I've used my hour up, I wish you well, I will be back again very, very soon, please remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy, bye.