#164 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (10th June 2019)

Hello, welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name is Jason Newland. I seem to laugh whenever I say my own name, which is a bit weird.

But the reason really is because Andre is in the bedroom, or in the hallway, I'm not sure. Let's have a look. He's in the bedroom, making love to his girlfriend.

Sweet, sweet love. He's a very tender lover, very considerate. And it's my slipper.

It's an old slipper of mine. And it's quite weird because I've had it tidied up today. And I discovered the other slipper.

Because he's been with the one slipper for about two years, probably three years. And I found the other slipper, which was hidden in the storage room or something. And so I put it into his, I've got a special box now, which is, it's a Lego covered box.

It's like Lego pictures of Lego bits. So I put all his toys into there, all his bits, plastic bags, squeaky toys, you know, and then both of the slippers. And he was asleep, you know, he just wasn't interested in what I was doing really.

And then a little while ago, he, he was like making a funny noise and looking at me. So I looked over and he had both the slippers, one either side of him. And I just wasn't quite sure what he was up to.

And he looked at me and he said, twins. And then ran off with both of them. So yes, this weird, he's a weird little boy.

So only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. And yeah, my name, yeah, I've given you my name. So today, since I got up, which was about three o'clock this afternoon, I have been tidying the flat.

And when I say tidying the flat, I've pretty much just done the living room. But I have moved stuff around. So I've moved my wardrobe out of the bedroom and I've put it into the storage room.

I've got a big storage room, I'm not bragging. Length and girth, it's a big old thing. So I put my wardrobe in there.

Part of the reason is because the clothes inside the wardrobe are just smelly. And I was trying to figure out why. Because I clean my clothes, I've got a washing machine.

And most of the stuff in there has been in there for a while. But it's all clean clothes. It's Andre.

So I've caught him in the past. He gets in there and he does away on the bottom of the wardrobe and just leaves it. So I'm having to wash all the clothes that are in the wardrobe, or that was in the wardrobe, or were in the wardrobe.

And I've moved the wardrobe out of the bedroom because I can't use it anymore. The wardrobe's fine, it's just any clothes I have have to be kept away from him. They have to be kept up high.

So what I'm going to do is get some coat rails, or clothes rails, that I'm going to attach to the walls in the bedroom. And I'm going to order one on Wednesday and just eventually get enough for all my clothes to be on the wall. And then get some for my shoes as well.

That way he can't have access to them. Because anything he can get access to, he basically, the right word is, he leaves his impression. You know, he, this flat is his.

This is his territory. This is his home and basically it's mixed between anything that he can get to is his, as far as he's concerned. So I have to put stuff out of reach.

So the books are high up, the TV's out of reach for him. I have to move the table away so that he can't get on top of the table. Because he just pushes stuff on the floor.

That's his, that's another hobby of his. So yeah, I think the only thing that we really share is the bed. And, you know, he sleeps on the bed when I'm not sleeping in it.

Sometimes. You know, I forget. Because he goes months without going into the bed.

And then he spends weeks where he's constantly in the bed. Or inside the quilt. It's the core bit, isn't it? Again, that part of my brain was asleep.

Wasn't prepared. I say quickly. Quickly.

And there's a whistle. I say quilt. Without realising I'm going to say it.

And there's a whistle. It's kind of like a speech thing going on there. Which is, because my voice is more from the throat than from the mouth, you know.

And, but the tongue, things like quick, there's more lip movement for such words. That must be what that is. And the other day, so he gets underneath the quilt.

Gets inside the quilt so that I don't know he's there. I think partly it's to hide from me. So that I can't put him in his cage.

Or so that I'll leave him alone. And for the other reason, he just likes it. And basically he doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do.

He's definitely not a people pleaser. And, yeah, I sometimes feel a little bit, not jealous, but a little bit kind of, ooh. When I see people with their dogs and the dog are just, you know, the dog's whole life is about pleasing their owner.

And eating and going for walks, but ultimately just want to, you know, very kind of needy. And in my relationship with Andre, I'm the needy one. Which is kind of ironic because I'm not really a needy person.

Can't believe I have to retrain Andre. There's paper there and he still went to do a wee on the carpet. Just as I'm watching him.

Just going to put some paper a bit further up. It's very strange living with a ferret. See, now he's finished his romantic evening.

So he's finished it off, coming in and doing a wee on the carpet. And now his bladder's empty, he's having a drink of water. And now he's staring at me.

And now he's eating some dry food. Because, oh, no. I'm giving you a running commentary on a ferret.

You won't get this anywhere else. And why would you want to? So, I've redone... Well, not redone, but I've re... That's him now, trying to play with his plastic tube. I've got his tube, it's about 9 foot long or 12 foot long.

And I've got it wrapped around the television, not the actual television screen. But on the floor, where the television unit is. It's so he can climb all the way through it.

And he likes it because it's... It's actually sturdy, it's kind of fixed in a particular position. Which means it gives him a bit more leverage to get through it. Now he's having a drink of water.

You can probably hear that. He's started living with a gazelle. Now he's going to eat some dry food.

What he does is he eats little bits of dry food. He picks it up, he drops it on the floor. And then he eats it off the floor, but he manages to rip bits of carpet up at the same time.

I mean, actually the carpet gets lifted up by him. But he's happy enough. Normally when I kind of make changes to the flat, you know, move things around, he doesn't like it.

He likes things to be in their place, you know. But he seems to be okay with this. I say that but I haven't looked at the front door because I've cleaned all the carpet on a couple of places.

And one is at the front door and knowing him, he's probably decided to get his revenge. He doesn't like clean things. When I clean his bag, his green and it's got a brown bit on it, the bag that I carry him around in sometimes.

When I wash that, and I have to wash it sometimes because it's just really pongy. He gets it up with me. He really, he starts shouting at me and everything.

And I know he's going to get his own back. Did you hear that? Little sneezes. He always gets his own back.

It might be something subtle like, he'll wait until I'm doing something else and then he'll jump onto my chair. And then onto the table next to the chair and he'll just knock everything off. Like a plate of food or something like that.

Now here I'm just giggling. Revenge is mine. And the other day I, what did I do? Yeah, I gave him a bath.

I had to. I had to give him a bath. And I know that whenever I give him a bath, he always gets his revenge.

It might sound silly but it's true. He always does something naughty after I've given him a bath. But I didn't know what it was going to be.

Until a couple of hours later after he's had the bath and I thought he's okay, he's asleep. Went into the kitchen just to put a plate into the sink. Normally I turn the light on when I'm going to the kitchen.

But I thought, I'm only putting a plate into the sink. I don't live in a mansion. I can see where the kitchen sink is.

You know, there's lights outside in the street that are shining in so I can kind of see the outlay of the kitchen. You know, it's like a few foot, three or four foot, footsteps to the sink from the door. You know, I'm never going to be able to, you couldn't fit 50 people in there.

Especially with bicycles, or on horses. So I go to put the plate into the sink. Squelch, squelch, squelch.

So he'd done a big poo right in front of the sink on the floor. He never does that. That's something he just doesn't do.

Maybe twice a year, once a year, twice a year. If he gets cut short, caught short. And now as we're speaking, I can't believe it.

As I'm talking to you, I had my back to him. I've turned round and he's just done a poo on the carpet. Squelch, squelch, squelch.

And now he's making as much noise as he can. So, when I say he's done a poo on the carpet, there are about eight pieces of newspaper on the carpet for him to go onto. you know, completely missed the paper altogether.

Completely, but purposely. And it's literally about a centimeter between the paper where the paper ends and his little gift begins. And I literally just moved him onto the paper a few minutes ago.

So he'd do it there and he's just waited to work with my back turned and went back and did exactly what he was going to do before. And I spent the whole day. You know, I started like 11 hours ago.

And I'm exaggerating because I've not spent a full solid like 11 hours doing this stuff. I've done other things as well. But I've not been out anywhere.

Not, you know, not been out partying. No weddings to go to. I've not played tennis.

You know, no driving tests. I've not done anything like that. And then he goes and does that.

I really don't. I don't know what to do with him. Oh well.

So what I've done is, like last night, yesterday, because I was, I started, started to tidy up yesterday. Was it Saturday yesterday? I think it's Sunday today. It might be Saturday today.

No, I think it's Sunday or it's Monday. It's one of them. And I was talking in my last recording about my books and having organized them and everything.

But the place was, the room was still like messy. But since then, I've moved a couple of bits of furniture out and put them into the storage room. I'm going to go into the bedroom.

He's making too much noise. And, yeah, I did quite a bit of vacuuming. Wow.

I'll tell you, if you ever want to lose weight, or if you don't go to a sauna, just get the vacuuming, do some vacuuming. Because the sweat just squirts out of my forehead. Literally, like, really.

Dripping all into my glasses. Like it'd been raining. I was looking at my books.

I've got two bookcases in my bedroom. So I didn't talk about these ones yesterday. So I'll tell you what's on them.

Again, I'm limited to shelves because I can't have the bottom shelves have anything on them. So I just leave a big gap. Otherwise Andre will demolish them.

And so one or two bookcases, I've got my shoes on top of them. So I've got my new shoes I bought a few weeks back on the left hand side and they're black ones. They're, what are they? They are S. It's stretchers or stretchers or, oh, that's weird.

Wait a minute. Stretchers, I think. Sketchers, that's it.

So they were on special offer. So I bought them. So I think I paid £40 for them.

They should have been about £68 or something. And then I've got my pair of normal shoes that I've had for years. I actually bought them for my Nan's funeral actually.

Because I didn't have any shoes to wear. So I bought them, had blisters. They were like, probably the best pair of shoes I've bought in a long time.

And the most expensive ones I bought in a long time. They were like £100 or something like that. And it was from a really quite a good shop.

But, oh man, very uncomfortable. Fine now. But, you know, my feet made friends with them eventually.

And I've got some trainers, or in America they're called sneakers. But in England, they're called trainers, although they might be called sneakers now. I don't know.

Andre's just following me around. I came in here to get away from him. Now he's following me.

He's trying to figure out where the wardrobe's gone. Where am I going to go wee wee now? So, on the top shelf, on the left hand side bookshelf, bookcase rather, actually I've got a ukulele as well in its box on top of the right hand bookcase. I'm going to go into the other room because he's starting to scratch at the carpet.

See, ideally I'd put him in his cage when I'm making a recording. But, I don't know, he's been asleep for hours and then he's woken up and it just doesn't seem right to put him in his cage because he's full of energy now. He wants to do stuff and play and run around and follow me everywhere I go.

If you can hear his little footsteps. All right, I'm going to go into the bedroom. Hopefully he won't follow me.

Probably will though. You'll hear him if he does. All right, so I've got a ukulele.

On top of my, my, the door, I've got some tracksuit bottoms that are drying. I'm going to put them over there. I'll do that with all my, like, you'll hear when he's followed me in here again.

I'm going to go into the other room. Hopefully he'll stay in the bedroom. Can you hear his little footsteps? He can't just be quiet.

He has to go into plastic bags and make noise. All right, hopefully he won't notice that I've gone again. But you'll hear his footsteps if he does come back in.

So yeah, so I've got the two bookcases. The left-hand bookcase. I've organized them as well.

So the left-hand side bookcase at the top shelf, I've got kind of, I suppose, self-help books, kind of, or just like general kind of things. I've got Chicken Soup for the Soul, which is a brilliant book if you haven't read it. It's a brilliant book if you have, if you agree, of course.

If you don't agree, it's, you know, it's still really good. But you know, we're all like different things. I would say Jack Kornfield, who's one of the writers, he did this audio recording.

And it was quite a few hours long. And I bought it back in I don't know, about 2005. I think.

It's brilliant. It's really, really good. Very inspiring.

And I forget what it's called. But I've got a few books here. Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.

Not probably as uplifting as some of the other books. But I've got The Alchemist, Richard Back, Illusions. Is it Richard Back that did The Seagull? Oh, that's Ken Livingstone's Seagull.

But wasn't that Richard Back? Yeah, author John Livingstone's Seagull. So I used to think it was actually that was the author. And, but it's not.

All other ones, The Sleep Book, by Dr. Guy Meadows. Aldous Huxley, or Aldous Huxley, The Door of Perceptions. Mood Swing by Ronald R. Thieve.

So we've got a few there. On the right hand of the top shelf, I've got, oh, what I decided to try and put books, in fact, I just found one that should be there. Oops, sorry, I'll try to be quiet.

So some class, I've got some classic books, which is strange, because I'm sure I had Jane Eyre. I have. So these books are in the wrong place.

I'm gonna have to move them. Wait a second. I know I don't have to do it right now, but I might as well do it while I'm thinking about it.

Because then it's done, isn't it? You know what I mean? Trying to do it quietly. Right, years ago, in the 90s, the early 90s, I was really into the Beat Generation books. Carawack, Ginsberg, you know, just the various poetry.

And out of that, I discovered Charles Bukowski, who isn't really officially a Beat Generation writer, but he was from that era onwards. And some class him as being one of the greatest novelists, American novelists. So I've got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 of his books.

Post Office, Factotum, Women, Tales of a Dirty Old Man, and Tales of Ordinary Madness. Now he's written lots of books, and I used to own lots of books that he'd written, including those, I probably had about 15 books of his, and quite a few of them were poetry. And, you know, I was a big, big fan.

So I will get those again, and I will re-read them, because I just, it might not fit in with what I'm doing here, and the online stuff, and being nice and stuff, but I do, they're quite, well, very gritty books. But they're also very funny as well, in places. Anyway, that's my Charles Bukowski section, but that will grow, because I've decided I'm going to spend more time on my hobby of reading, and book collecting, which I've, I haven't given any time to, hardly at all.

I've got a Kindle as well, so I've got quite a few books on a Kindle, but it's not the same. For book collectors, having a Kindle, for a reader, an avid reader, yeah, Kindle is brilliant as well, because it's words, isn't it? On a screen, it's, you know, but for a book collector and an avid reader at the same time, there's something, just the smell of the page, you know, of a new book. It's not even a new book, I mean, I do, I've got most of my books, a lot of the books I've got are secondhand.

I've got them, you know, I didn't pay for them new, got them on secondhand shops, charity shops, or online on Amazon for, you know, secondhand. But all of the Charles Bukowski ones are new, so I'm guessing a lot of people don't give up their Charles Bukowski books once they've got them. So the next shelf down, I've got my little bipolar book collection, plus a few like mental health stuff.

So I've got Bipolar II by Ronald F. R. Thieve, which, if I do believe, by the same man that wrote the book Mood Swing, which is above it. There's Strictly Bipolar by Dorian Leder, Madness by Maria Hornbacher, Living with Bipolar Disorder, Lynn Hodges, The Bipolar Exhibitionist, Expeditionist, not Exhibitionist, that's a big difference, isn't it, in that word, Expeditionist, Keith Allen Stedman, Bipolar Disorder for Dummies. And I've been buying these dummy books for years, ever since they kind of started out.

Sales for dummies and HTML web design for dummies, all that kind of stuff. And I was for like self-esteem for dummies, a great title. So I've got Understanding Anxiety and Panic Attacks.

My Bucket Has Holes by someone, I can't see the name of the person. Pediatric Bipolar Disorder by Finlin Kowatch Post. Yeah, so that's a few bits there.

Now on the next shelf, I have a bunch of autobiographies, or biographies, I forget which is which, they're written by themselves. Although that might not be, it might be a ghost writer, which always kind of, I thought if it was a ghost writer, you'd think, oh great, the book's now complete, the ghost writer's finished it, oh great, and you'd open it up and it just says, woo. So I've got Swan to Susan Boyle, David Niven, it's a very famous book, actually, David Niven, The Moon's a Balloon.

And that's the very famous actor, David Niven. I've got Eureka Johnson, Honest. I've got John Richardson, I've got a book by Joe Brand, Miranda Hart, Jeremy Clarkson, Simon Pick, Kerry Katona, Michael McIntyre, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So these are books that I got from charity shops for about a pound each. And I was going through a little phase when I first moved in here. He discovered I wasn't in the living room, now he's followed me blindly.

He doesn't make that much noise when he walks normally, it's just because he knows I'm making a recording. He wants to be part of it. And I thought it'd be good to have a book collection.

But actually the reality is, I'm only interested in books that I like, I'm going to read, not books for book's sake. And so I thought, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to firstly replace the books that I've lost recently with the hypnosis stuff.

I'm going to try and replace, you know, I just, wow, there's a Daddy Longlegs in my bedroom. I was just talking to a friend the other day about not seeing a Daddy Longlegs, but absolutely ages. All right, I'm going to have to get it and put it into, put it outside.

Because it's not going to, oh, I can't catch it. I don't know how they get by Daddy Longlegs, they're just all over the place, aren't they? I think they must be drunk. So yeah, I decided to try and replace all the old books I've ever had in my life.

Not the children's books, not, you know, Jack and Laurie and The Adventures, Nellie the Elephant, and Where the Babies Come From, Mummy, you know, I don't know those kind of books. But the ones that I enjoyed reading as a like, maybe a teenager onwards, which is what I did. Anytime I saw a book that I previously has read, or wanted to read, or, you know, I bought them, mainly from secondhand shops, charity shops, the car boot sale, and also from Amazon.

And I'll give you an example. What is it? Sue Townsend, Adrian Moll. Admittedly, it's not the Adrian Moll, it's the Secret Diary of Adrian Moll, age 13 and a half.

And then there's the Cappuccino Years, but I've never read that one. But I've got the, oh, The Jungle Book. That needs to go in with the classics, as does The Hobbit as well.

You can hear him, even when he's in the other room, he has to make loads of noise just to be part of this. I just wonder how loudly I can sneeze. So I've got three Sue Townsend books about Adrian Moll.

And I've got Sophie's World by Justine Gardner. And that's a book all about philosophy, you know, basically the history of philosophy told in a story, told in a, you know, a really, really, really good book. I've read it a couple of times.

But I had it when I was, I think I was reading it in 1996. I think when I first got it. And then I've got one, two, three, four, five books by Tom Sharp.

And they're all books about Wilt. The first one's called Wilt. And then the others are other kind of books about him.

And that was one of the funniest books I ever read. Like when I was a kid, when I was, I was probably like 11, 12, maybe 10 even, I don't know. But I laughed so hard.

Because it was rude. But it's very fun. He's just following me around, making noise wherever he can.

I'm just, that's it, I'm putting him up for adoption. See if you heard that little sound. I will edit it so it's a lot quieter.

So if you do hear a little crackling of this, it was a lot louder in the original recording. But I deleted enough. I'm going to edit it down so it's a bit quieter.

So Wilt was one of the really funniest books I ever read at the time. And what other books have I got here? Right. One of my favorite television shows ever, I mean ever, in my whole life, is a television program called Sapphire and Steel.

Now, you may never have heard of it. But it was brilliant. Admittedly, it was the early 80s.

So, you know, when it comes to television, you know, we had good special effects in the cinema with Superman, Star Wars, you know, Star Trek, that was kind of E.T. You know, they're doing quite well with special effects, but not on television. And a good example of that is if you go on YouTube, put in the name Manimal. Basically animal, but with an M at the beginning.

Manimal. And it was about a man that could turn into animals. So it gives you an idea of the level of special effects.

And that was probably an expensive program to make as well. Money probably went into that. But Sapphire and Steel didn't really have, I don't think it had much of a like budget for special effects.

But it didn't need it because it was really good. It was really weird. It's really a bit creepy, a bit fantasy, magical, kind of.

It's about these like time travelers, people that could, I don't know how to explain it, but I got a book. I think it's the only book that was written. And then they made a TV show.

I used to have the TV show on video years ago. I bought it. But so I've got the book Sapphire and Steel by Peter J Hammond.

And if you look in Peter J Hammond, he's a famous writer as well. He's written, I think, TV shows and stuff. So what other ones have I got? Ah, there's another book by Martina Cole.

And so I've got that. And it's a book that I used to read when I was a security guard. And it's called The Lady Killer, but it's Martina Cole's crime book.

And I was working in Canary Wharf. And I'd just finished a shift. And I was working upstairs in on the live TV floor, like a TV station.

And so I'd done my 12-hour shift. And my manager, my boss, said to me, Hey, JJ. He didn't.

He said, Can you do, can you stay overnight? Because I'd just done a, probably 8 till 8, or 7 till 7, something like that. And so I just finished at 7 o'clock, started at 7. So 7 in the evening. He said, Can you stay till 7 tomorrow morning? I said, What, another 12 hours? He said, Yeah.

I said, But I've already done 12 hours. He said, I know. I was here when you got here.

And now I'm going home. I said, Yeah, but that's 24 hours. He said, Yeah, I used to be a policeman.

I needed maths to be able to do that job. I said, Yeah, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying it's a long time.

I mean, I'm tired. I'm going to probably end up falling asleep if it's too long. He said, Don't worry about it.

He said, Can you do it? I said, All right. And he said, Well, you're not going to be up here. You're going to be downstairs in the, some important place where the managing director of the newspaper, his office was just, I was the security for that office.

And he said, You just be down there on your own. I said, All right. Because I've done that before, but not, I've never done 12 hours, like 24 hours.

I've been down there a few times, done a few night shifts. But he said, All right, so you've done it before. You know, it's easy enough.

I said, Okay. It's not really the point. It's more a case of staying awake.

Anyway, there was a book down there called the Martina Cole book. And I read it, but I never got to finish it. It's a really long book.

It's a thick, thick old book. But it's a, it's a page turner. You know, I mean, all books are really, aren't they? But it's, unless you've got someone else to turn the page for you.

But then you might as well just get them to read it out to you. But I can't, so I read this book, and it was just underneath the counter. So I read it.

And I probably got three quarters through. And then I woke up. I fell asleep while I was reading it.

So I'd already read on previous evenings, previous nights. Like over the previous couple of weeks, I'd read quite a bit of it. But I fell asleep.

You know, 24 hours is a long time to just be awake. And then I got suspended from my job. So because I got caught being asleep by the person who asked me to stay.

So he came in about six o'clock in the morning. The next morning, and so I was asleep. And I got suspended and I got sent home.

So I never got to finish the book. But they did drop the suspension when I told them how ridiculous they were. When I pointed out the logic behind the situation.

So I bought the book. And I want to know what happens. So what have I bought? Oh yeah, so the the shelf down from that.

So that's my kind of fiction. It's not many there really. It's only 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22.

There's 22 books of kind of light fiction, comedy, stroke kind of bits and bobs, you know. Then the next shelf down is the religious section. You could say or you could say the Buddhist section.

So I've got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. 10 books, 10 Buddhist books and no, nine Buddhist books and one New Testament Bible. And the book I've got, the book that I've had since 1992 probably, maybe 93.

So the only book that I've got left, like originally that I bought, is a book called The Teaching of Buddha. And it's really weird. I got it from, what's it, Foils in London.

And it's still got the publisher's price label on the inside coat of the book, the plastic coat of it. 25 pound. That's how much I paid for a book.

26 years ago, or 27 years ago, 28 years ago, maybe. 25 pound for a book. It's not even a big book.

I can't get away from that ferret. He's following me. He's following wherever I go.

He's just following me. I'm just going to hold him. Maybe that'll give him what he needs.

Ow. Which is exactly what he needed because he needed a finger to bite. Stop it.

So I've got those books there. So I've got The Teaching of Buddha. It's a little book.

It's not tiny. I mean, you wouldn't put it on a table and think, oh my God, where's it gone? You know, you still see it, but it's, oh God, it's going to make more noise. It's ridiculous.

The thing is, he's made it, just in that little time that I was in the bedroom, he's completely trashed the living room. He's emptied his thing full of coloured balls and now they're all over the living room floor. Now he's jumping up and down, wants me to chase him.

Oh dear, oh dear. So I apologise for the amount of sound effects that have been in this recording. So now on the next shelf down of the right bookcase, this is like the classics and so I've got The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

I've got Childhood, Boyhood, Youth by Leo Tolstoy. I've got For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway. There's In Cold Blood by Truman Capote or Capote.

The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. There is Jane Austen by Jane, I love how they did that. We've got On the Road by Jack Kerouac.

There's Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky. The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck. There's H.G. Wells' The Time Machine.

There's A Room with a View by E.M. Forster. The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells. And The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Harper Lee's The Killer Mockingbird. And you've got The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle. There's The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling.

It's an exceedingly good book. And you've got The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. Tolkien, Tolkien.

So how are those books? There's not ones I've actually read. None lately but I've read The Road Less Travelled. I read that in, I don't know if I read that, 1989.

I read that. My friend Duncan gave me, my former friend Duncan gave me a list of books to read and that was one of them. There was that and what was the other one? The Motorcycle Maintenance.

I forget that one. But yeah, so that's one of them. And The Third Wave was another one that I read.

I love reading. I love reading. I also love going to the toilet and I love eating.

So there's lots of things I like. So The Time Machine. I think I read it when I was younger but I've seen the film.

Jack Kerouac On The Road. Yeah, I read that in the early 90s. I'm pretty sure I read In Cold Blood by Truman Capote in the past.

The Adventures of a Huckleberry Finn. I think I read that when I was a kid, I think, or a teenager, I think. Crying Punishment from Dostoyevsky.

I do believe I read that in the 90s at some point. I think I read To Kill a Mockingbird but I can't, I'm not 100% sure. Never read The Hobbit.

Probably never going to read The Hobbit. Don't know why I bought it. And The Jungle Books.

So I'm exceedingly looking forward to looking into that because it isn't just one book, is it? There's not, there is more than just. I believe, again it's believing, pretty sure that I read that when I was a kid, when I was a teenager maybe, maybe younger because I have this memory of there being a lot more than just the ooo, ooo, ooo, I want to be like you, ooo, ooo. I don't, you know, I mean it's a great cartoon but I don't know if it did justice to the book.

You know, kind of, it was great in its own right. I used to like it and then my niece in 1980, I don't know what year it was, 80, 83 maybe, went and visited my step-mum's brother and his daughter watched The Jungle Book over and over and over and over again, continuously, continuously, I'm talking over and over again. And I've never forgiven her really, but you know, I'll move on eventually.

So that's most of the books. I've also got a Mr Brough's Guide to Grammar, which I bought for some reason. So there you go, yeah, so that wasn't like hugely exciting, which is kind of the point, I know, but I'm not sure if I'm ever going to read any of those autobiographies, really not sure.

It kind of may be a book that I'll read and get rid of, but I don't want to get rid of books anymore, I want to just keep them. And I want to get Woody Allen's books as well, especially like Radio Days and some of those classic, they're so funny, really hilarious books. So I might look into getting some of those, and other funny books that I used to like to read.

Woody Allen, I don't know, I went through a period when I used to actually read book reviews, and then go and buy the book. I went through a period in the 90s when I used to do that. It was very educated of me, wasn't it? But I kind of, I like to find my own way, I like to find my own stuff that I like.

So for example, Charles Bukowski, he talks in his books, in poetry and stuff, about the authors that he likes, the writers that he likes to read, or liked to read when he was alive. And so I went and got some of those books, and the people that influenced him. So I find, you know, the bibliography or bibliography or however you pronounce it, when writers talk about stuff that they've read and they like.

And if you like that writer, chances are, you may like the writer that's influenced them. So that's kind of what I do. So Charles Bukowski, and what's Into the Night, I think it was, is a French writer.

Celine, is it Celine? No, that's a singer, isn't it? Celine Dion. Yeah, I forget. But I used to, I had quite a nice collection of poetry at one time, sort of from the 60s, 50s, 60s, 70s, you know, the beat generation, and then onwards.

And I think that's why I like Bob Dylan so much, because I personally love his voice. I know that, you know, he's not got a, you know, a traditional singer's voice, you know, like really singer-y. But the poetry to music, I'm a big, big fan of Bob Dylan.

But I didn't discover him until probably 93. Yeah, maybe 92, 93. And I bought a tape, the best of Bob Dylan.

And I thought, oh, I'll buy that. I think there's two, two tapes. And there's a special offer, I'll buy one, get two free, or buy, or something like that.

So I'll buy 100, get one for half price. So I bought a couple of tapes. And when I first heard him, I played it, I think I was on a tube train, in a train, tube, tube train, tube, tube, tube train, underground.

And I was listening. I was like, wow, the times, the times really are a changing. And I kind of, it gripped me.

And then I listened to Blood on the Tracks, and that album, and it's probably one of my favorite albums ever. Absolutely love the album. Yeah, so that's, so what I've got to do now is go back and edit this, and try and find the bits where Andre's being really noisy.

And then trying to just muffle those noises down a little bit. And now he's quiet. He's gone to sleep now.

Probably because I didn't play with him. And now he's thought, oh, you know. So I'm going to go, I'll just speak to you next time.

Bye.