#145 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (10th May 2019)

Hello and welcome to LetMeBoreYouToSleep.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I think it's 145, so that's how many episodes there's been. That's quite a lot, isn't it really? And so yeah, please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.

And just let you know, I was wondering why Andre had moved his bag. So he's got a bag that he sleeps in. He knows I'm talking about him.

He's got a, it's not far from where I'm sitting, but usually it's the opening end is faced towards the table and he moved the bag around so the opening end is facing my chair. I didn't realise why he did it, but I noticed that he was just watching me. He likes to just see that I'm there, which is really cute, isn't it? So he's asleep in his bag, but then he's got his eyes open, he looks, and I actually caught him.

I was watching telly and I looked down and he was just peeking at me. He had his head just like, it was still in the bag. I could see his little nose poking out, but you see his eyes just looking up at me.

So I think he just likes to, he likes me to be there, which is just really nice. A bit strange, but it is lovely. It's a lovely thing really.

It's not strange really, is it? It's just lovely. Or is it strange? Maybe it is strange. It just makes me feel a bit, a little bit guilty of putting him in his cage at night, or when I'm in bed, because the cage is in a different room to my bedroom.

But I know that if I don't, he'll just be hassling me. He'll sleep for a few hours and then he'll get up and he'll want to play and he'll be all over me and nibbling on my fingers and licking my face and just trying to wake me up so that I, I don't know what he wanted me to do, whatever he wants, probably take him out. And he's moved his little head so he can hear better.

He's always listening. He knows when I'm talking about him, but he's decided just to stay in the bag so he's not getting out. He just seems quite happy just laying there.

At this time of night, normally he doesn't bother moving about much. It's 2.48 in the morning and he generally, apart from getting up to go to the toilet, that's about it. And he usually does that in his sleep as well.

He looks so cute right now. It makes me almost forget some of the things he gets up to. He's so naughty sometimes.

The other day, I was just sitting on a chair and he jumped up, jumped up my legs, ran up my legs and started biting my hand quite roughly to, he wanted to play, but he was really very rough and I had to tell him off. And I said, Andre, because I don't mind playing rough, I suppose, if I'm in the mood for it. But then he's not always in the mood for it, but it's, it's, it's just, it's really rough when he goes for it.

I have to keep him away from all dogs now because he bites dogs. Not, not aggressively, just plays. It's him playing.

He'll bite them. And, you know, he squared up to a cat the other day because a cat thought that it was gonna like pounce on him or something. But a cat has only got one chance against him.

If a cat can catch him without him seeing it, then yeah, but he's a vicious little thing. He's a bit like Scrappy-Doo, you know, from Scooby-Doo. He just won't back down.

He'll take on a polar bear if he had to. He's got no concept of size, really hasn't. It's beautiful.

It's my little boy. Anyway, I've not come on here just to talk about him, although I could probably talk about him for hours. Some of the weird things that he's done.

So what I thought I would do today, just to remind you that as well as the website, LetMeBoreYouToSleep.com, I also have a special Facebook page, which I really should put the link on the website, but I'll get it all done eventually. It's a bit of a juggling act, all the different websites and the different podcasts. So I've got a specific Facebook channel or page for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

And there's not many people joined it yet or liked the page yet. Seven, I think. So it's only been there for a couple of weeks.

But if you want to, you can like that page. Just put in Let Me Bore You To Sleep in Facebook search and it'll come up. And I post all of my Let Me Bore You To Sleep sessions on there.

So that you can link to the podcast. It just makes it a little bit easier if you're perhaps, if you're not into any of the other stuff that I do, then, you know, it gets you straight to what you want. But you can join the other Facebook page that I've got.

And I'll put all of my stuff on there. You know, every single session I do is posted on there. But anyway, this is up to you.

And if you want to help me to pay for this free service, you can make a donation to paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland. That link is on the website. So what I thought I would do, firstly, I am, I've been asked to go to America to, this is quite a while back now, just got to be last year.

But it's, it's progressing. So I was asked to go to America to do a couple of talks to some students about hypnosis. And I guess my take on hypnosis and how it could help the students who are training at university to help people that have had strokes and asphasia, so that you're having speech issues and how hypnosis may be useful in their practice, and perhaps how it might be able to be used for the patients.

And I've been thinking about this actually. And I haven't said this to my friend who's invited me, but I saw this news article and it's a thing that's been going on for quite a while in England about doctors and doctor surgeries and doctors, GPs, general practitioners, retiring early and leaving and getting ill and stuff because of the pressures of the job. And I'm not going to go into details because some of it's quite, not very nice, really not very nice.

But I found out that a doctor that I used to have is no longer here. A doctor I had when I was quite a young man, Dr. Bennett, his name was. And he was in my childhood home where I used to, didn't live with me, but he was, he had a room in the attic.

No, he didn't. He, anyway, so that kind of, it touched me a bit. It kind of made me think about that.

And I sometimes think about doctors. Sometimes when I go and visit my doctor and I've had four doctors leave my surgery since I've been there for 12 years, four doctors have left. And I don't even have a doctor allocated anymore.

It's just whoever's available to see me. And I've seen some changes. And I must admit that sometimes I've been in the doctors and I've really not even thought of them as humans because I've been so focused on my own, maybe illness at the time.

And I didn't perhaps, it's not that I didn't give them respect because I've always, I always do give doctors respect, show respect to them, but I perhaps didn't see their potential vulnerabilities. There is a part of me that thinks that doctors are superhuman. And I still, I still feel that even though, you know, realistically they're not, you know, the reality is they're human beings, but I class doctors as being superheroes.

And I always have. I class paramedics as superheroes, fire, the fire service and people that, you know, doctors, certain nurses, people that safe, that just do that. Just it's superhuman, isn't it? Helping someone day in, day out, saving lives.

For me, that is superhuman. I'm not saying that if I was allowed to have a superhuman power, I'd still choose to fly, I think. Or actually invisibility would probably be the one I'd want.

Or super strength. Yeah, super strength. Probably not super, you know, flying.

It just, it just reminds me of a film I saw years and years ago. And there was a superhero that he flew, but he didn't fly more than three foot off the ground because he was scared of heights. That's real, he was in a real film.

So I don't know about flying, but superhuman strength appeals to me, where, you know, kind of an impenetrable body. So, you know, kind of, you know, bullets bounce off you and stuff like that. And well, a bullet would bounce off you unless it's shot by a gun, I suppose.

It's just someone just held a bullet at you, it would bounce off, especially my belly. And this was flicked by someone with superhuman strength. But yeah, invisibility, I think about that.

And I think, you know what, there's a few, few things come to mind when I think about having the power of invisibility. I think when I was younger, it was more a case of what mischief could get up to. Really, it really was, you know, a case of that.

And then as I got older and I reached my 40s, maybe 30s, even late 30s, I started to realise that I was gradually becoming more and more invisible, especially to young women. And I'm practically am invisible to anyone under the age of 40. So if I keep going, by the time I get to 90, I should be able to be invisible to pretty much everybody.

So I got my wish. And it wasn't quite, it's not quite as enjoyable as I thought it would be. Because the ironic thing about it is they can't see you until you're doing something mischief or mischievous.

That's when everyone can see you. But before that, you're invisible. And as soon as I do something a little bit mischievous, the whole world can see me.

So yeah, that's why it's not the best superpower. I wonder what other superpowers would be good. The thing is, I used to, you know, there's a whole thing about, well, if I had a superpower, I would, and I was like, like Superman, I could do anything.

I could read the world of nuclear weapons, and that'd be brilliant. But that's what he did in Superman 4. And that was a really, really bad film. You know, I think it was what the Quest for Peace, Superman 4. And that was awful.

Well, I don't want to say awful, but it was. It was really not, it didn't, yeah, it didn't go anywhere close to the first three. I think maybe part of it was because he got rid of all the nuclear weapons and put them into space in a three-minute clip.

You know what I mean? There was like a three-minute bit where he was just, you saw him put them into space and putting a big net around them or something. I was like, that's worthy of a whole film, isn't it? Ridding the world of nuclear weapons. I mean, if you think about it, in the first Superman film, the main part of that film was having two nuclear weapons being detonated and the input sent from, what's his name? Not Dick Turpin.

You know his enemy in the film, Superman's enemy? Not Clark Kent. That's the, obviously that's him when he's not got his costume on because he looks a lot different, doesn't he? He's wearing those glasses, looks so different. The thing is he actually does look quite different.

But in the same way, I think that did something to him because when he did have, he had a different hairstyle, didn't he? When he was Superman. Compared to when he had his suit on as a newspaper reporter. Yeah.

Lewis Lane. I forget. Lex Luthor.

That's it. Lex Luthor. So Lex Luthor, in the first film, it was all about, well, it was the beginning and that bit.

But then once the film, he was an adult and he was Superman. You know, that's seven hours in. He, the main bit of the film really was just the nuclear missiles being launched and he could only get one, couldn't he? And then the other one went and it caused all this.

I think, yeah. Did it? I think so. Anyway, something like that.

And then he zips around the world, doesn't he? And reverses time or whatever. But in the fourth film, he basically does like a million times that in three minutes. I mean, to collect all the nuclear missiles from every single country, not just the ones that are officially that we know about, but you know, I don't mean countries, but I mean, I mean, they're everywhere now.

I'm sure there's, you could basically get the recipe probably on the internet, the recipe. It's like making a cake. So, but he's near the big kitchen.

So, yeah, I kind of put off watching Superman 4. I don't mean I like had it there on the wall, excited, thinking, oh, had it on the shelf, I'm going to watch that one day. I'll watch it today. No, I'll put it off.

I'll watch it tomorrow. No, I'll surprise myself. I'll watch it Saturday.

You know, I'll wrap it up and give it to myself every Christmas for a present, a surprise present. Although, what I was thinking of doing, because I'm single and not alone, because I've got Andre, obviously, so I've got my little boy, because it's me and him, what I was thinking of doing is maybe buying every week, getting a little gift for myself and maybe something for him and then wrapping them up and sticking them in storage, not on the rent storage, but sticking them in the cupboard. And then on Christmas, I'm going to get myself a Christmas tree and stick in December, the 1st of December, I'm going to get all this place nice and decorated.

And I'll put all those presents under the tree. I'll have a proper Christmas. I've never had a proper Christmas on my own where I've made a bit of effort.

Once I did, I put some decorations up once. But I'm going to do it a little bit better this year. I'm going to, this Christmas, I'm going to have a proper, proper Christmas.

I might even invite some family up to visit. And give them Christmas presents and stuff. That'd be good, wouldn't it? Because that means I don't have to visit them.

I mean, travel-wise, I'm not, I'm not being great with traveling, if I'm honest, but, but I'd be so cool. And I can buy books, because I want to get books. I want to get more hypnosis books.

And something I'm really into at the moment is, I don't know if I mentioned it, but Bob Proctor. I want to get every book that he's written and read them. I'm in love with Bob Proctor.

He is such a great speaker. He's, I think anyone that can be still saying the same thing after 50 years, is someone that you can trust. You know, obviously not if they're like a Nazi or something.

But I mean, if, if, if they've got a good message to pass on, like he talks, it's a lot about positivity, a lot about self-talk, thing called, that he calls the paradigm. And he's, it's all about how we think. It's not just about positive thinking.

It's, it's much more than that. It's, you know, it's, I'm not going to go into it, but it's something that I've been trying to do for 20 years, to be fair. And I try and pass it on within my recordings.

Not all of them, obviously, because some of them are a bit silly, but not some of my recordings, I mean, not what he says, but it's like everything he says, every word that comes out of his mouth is like, yeah, I agree with that. And that's what I've found with Buddhism. When I read what the Buddha had to say, I'm not, I'm not trying to get into religion here, because I don't class it as a religion, I class it as very amazingly wise words.

That's, that's kind of how I take the Buddhist scripture, as well as any other religious scriptures and words and paragraphs and verses, whatever you want to call it. There's some pretty amazing stuff there, as well as what you get in a book written by a philosophist or philosophist, philosophy, philos, philophicist, philophicist, philopher, philoph, philophy, philopher, pholos, philosophist, philos, that doesn't sound right, philosophy, yeah, philosophist, syllophosophist, philo, philosophy, so philosophy, philosophist, doesn't sound right though, does it? Philosophist, psychologist, psychotherapist, philosophist, philosophist, yeah.

Or a poet, or a singer, or you know, there's plenty of like songwriters that have written stuff that's like, wow, Bob Dylan was one of my favorites, and Bob the Builder, they were two favorite Bobs, both had a lot of like really great things to say, and yeah, Bob, Bob's definitely one of my, let's face it, he helped win an American election, Bob the Builder, can we fix it?

Yes, we can, yes, we can, yes, we, you know, it's like, wow, I couldn't believe it, when President, what's his name, was using that slogan, yes, we can, it's like, that's Bob the Builder, it's like, wow, so yeah, I'd, I like reading, or hearing, I like listening to audios, although I do, I do have a tendency to fall asleep though, seriously, I'm pretty sure, I could listen to like, I don't know, a war scene, or you know, like Gladiator, I could watch Gladiator and be awake, but if I listen to the audio, I'd probably fall

asleep, you know, Gladiator, the film, you know, even as a car chase and fireworks, I'd probably still fall asleep, something about listening to stuff that I just like, I just like drift off, but then it relaxes me, I find it very relaxing to listen to something, to listen to someone talking, to listen to two people talking, I suppose technically most conversations do have two people, but my conversation does just have one, it's like a monologue that never ends, and has no beginning, and has no point to it, maybe, but there's no, I mean, it's not

going to surprise anyone that I don't rehearse this stuff, you know, it's obvious that I'm not spending all day, the 10 hours rehearsing what I'm going to say when I actually press the record button, I think it's kind of plain to see that I'm just talking off the top of my head, whatever I feel like talking about, but that's the wonder of this, however, I also do that when I make hypnosis sessions, and some of those sessions are pretty good, I know I'm perhaps not supposed to suck my own trumpet or whatever, but I can't

help it, some of them are good, some of them I'm not sure, because it's down to the individual, but sometimes, I think the ones that I find good, not necessarily the sleep ones, but if it's a hypnosis session for something, and quite often it is actually the insomnia ones, like the deep sleep whisper hypnosis sessions, I find the flow is really good sometimes, and the words come together, and I can feel the techniques that I know to do, just happening naturally, without any kind of preparation, because I don't prepare, I want to say it's not

because I'm lazy, it's not because I'm lazy, not really, because I'm not lazy, although I am sometimes, and it's definitely not because I don't care about what I'm doing, because I do sometimes, I do, I do care, I wouldn't do it if I didn't, I'm not actually doing this just for the sake of it, sometimes, sometimes, but I don't listen back to anything I do, generally, and when I'm in the flow of sort of like, not this, but when I'm doing like a serious, not serious, but you know, a more focused deep sleep whisper hypnosis

session, I find myself really getting into it, and it's as if I see the words before they even plop out of my mouth, it's just like, ah, and the connections, and the continuations of a sentence, and the focus of what I'm intending whilst I'm saying the words, because I think that's part of why I like to just ad-lib, I suppose you could call it, or put trust in, yeah, let's call it the universe, let's to put trust in the universe to, or in my own mind, to provide me with the words that are necessary for

that particular situation, and it feels quite nice when I'm kind of listening to myself as I say it, so when I talk, I listen to my voice as I say it, and I hear my voice exactly the same way as you're hearing my voice, because I'm tuned into it, because I've been doing it so long, I know how I sound completely, and it's not, I'm not saying it's a skill, it's just something that I've learned, that's happened naturally, I know exactly how I sound, so I can change it, and I think maybe it's a little

bit like that for singers, they know how they sound, you've got to know how you sound as a singer in order to change it whilst you're singing, to adapt, to, you know, correct, or whatever you may need to do tuning wise, and isn't it so funny to say all this, and one day I'm going to listen to myself, and be surprised that I sound like Donald Duck or something, all this time I've been lying to myself that I sound like Mickey Mouse, you know what I discovered the other day, Disney, it might not be Disney,

but a certain cartoon has been lying to me for years, Woody Woodpecker, now, I watched a documentary the other day, and it was on, it wasn't on woodpeckers, but it, it contained woodpeckers, it was, it was part of the, it's like a, the Avinson rainforest, or something like that, and it involved the trees, and the birds, and they focused on woodpeckers for a little bit of the program, now, I'm not going to be silly and say at no point did it go, like that, you know, and wasn't that the woodpecker, yeah, I think that was

woodpecker, wasn't it, Woody Woodpecker, at no point did it, you know, chip its name into the, into the tree, but woodpeckers don't go as quickly as Woody Woodpecker did, it's like one big chop, and a big bit of the tree, well, not a big bit, but a big, you know, chunk of wood shoots out, I mean, that's not, it doesn't shoot out, it sounds like some kind of weird, yeah, anyway, it's just some kind of forest video that you'd see online, nothing shot out anyway, it's, it's, they're proper, proper strong beaks, it's amazing, really, to

watch, I mean, they really are, I mean, that's why they're called woodpeckers, isn't it, but they don't move as fast as the Woody Woodpecker, now, the Woody Woodpecker was moving, was it, you've got to be, it's got to be at least 10, 10 pecks a second, yeah, it's got to be, but these woodpeckers were doing maybe one peck every five seconds, or maybe three or four seconds, it was proper, like, it's like a, I suppose, it's, I imagine there's a lot of effort put into that one peck, and I was still impressed by it, I

was still impressed by the, by, you know, the woodpecker, but it wasn't the same, and I think to myself, why, why, why not, why not make a proper cartoon about a proper woodpecker, why make up, you know, giving it super powers, when the woodpecker is already pretty much super, super already, it's like that super strength, I mean, if that woodpecker was the size of a bear, yeah, it'd be able to knock a tree down in one swipe, it'd be able to just go, and it would cut right through the tree, which then got me thinking

about genetics, I didn't, it has now though, and it would have to be some kind of, kind of experiment, because I don't think nature's gonna, it's not gonna happen naturally, is it, a woodpecker and a bear, and I don't think it's a case of they're just different, living different lifestyles, they never get to meet, I think it's probably more to it than that, you know, I don't think it's a case of just, well, if we give them, get them to go to have the same interest, or put on like a little dating, a dating club,

you know, and send an invitation to both of them, and maybe they'll hit it off, no, I think anatomically, yeah, I think it would be a, yeah, I don't think it'd work, but with genetic stuff, they can do, they can pretty much mix anything together, and so, but, mind you, it might end up the other way around, mightn't it, it might be a woodpecker, yeah, it might be a bear the size of a woodpecker, but then that's kind of, be like a small koala bear, wouldn't it, so today I got on the bus, and I

wasn't, I needed to go out, I didn't want to go out, and it's raining, I didn't want to go out, but I needed to, and what's weird is I could hear the rain, and I thought it's the overflow, because, well, not the overflow, but the guttering gets too full, and it just drips down, and I can hear that dripping, and I was looking out my window of the living room, and I couldn't see no rain, which I thought, I wasn't looking out of it, I didn't have the window open, and I was the other side

of the room, I wasn't, I wasn't wearing binoculars, or, you know, who wears binoculars, but you know, I mean, I just couldn't see any rain, so I thought, hmm, and then my friend knocked on the door, and he said, oh, it's raining, I said, yeah, I know, but I think it's mainly just the guttering now though, the gutters dripping, he said, no, I said, no, I think it is, he said, no, I said, no, I actually do think that's what it is, the gutter overflows on the back and the front of the building, he said,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I said, why, why are you, why are you saying no, no, no, continuously, he said, I don't know, anyway, he, we went out the front door, and the gutter was leaking or overflowing, but it was also raining, so I kind of think that's a win-win, you know, we're both right, weren't we really, I would say, so I took that as a, we decided not to have a, have a duel, you know, to kind of figure out who's the winner, we just decided, just, okay, it's

fine, and I thought, because I needed to go to get to the chemist, although it's called a pharmacy now, but it didn't used to get called a pharmacy, it used to be called a chemist, and now, for some reason, we call it a pharmacy, and I don't really know why, I know it's, it's where you get pharmaceuticals, yeah, but it used to be called chemist, that's why I, the snicker bar, I'm still not impressed with that change, it's a marathon, and I don't know if in other countries you ever had a different name for the

snicker bar, but in England, it used to be called marathon, you know, like the running thing, you know, female people think it's a really good idea to do in sort of, well, April when they're watching it, or whatever month your marathon is in, and then they train, and then on the day it comes, they regret, it's like, oh my goodness, especially the ones that come dressed as dinosaurs and stuff like that, so I had this thinking, I thought, should I go to town?

I thought, no, I'm not going to town, that wasn't even what I thought about, why are you telling people you think about that when you weren't, like, I don't know why, I just, it came out, I told you I don't rehearse any of this, so yeah, but just try and stick to the, stick to the idea that you had like a few seconds ago, yeah, all right, all right, all right, I'm back, and why call it a snicker, the only reason they called it a snicker bar here is because they wanted, as far as I

know, it was called a snicker bar in America, maybe it was never called a marathon anywhere else, maybe, I don't know, maybe it used to be, maybe you just let me know, and why not just keep it called a marathon?

They've done that with a few things, changed the name, but why else is it they change, they, whoever they are, the product provider, the manufacturer of said product, they changed the name of, here's a bit of information, it's very boring, but it's something that you may not know, and you're not going to care about, but the comedian Harry Hill, if you've never heard of him, if you're in a different part of the world that doesn't know who he is, if you're in England, you're going to know who he is, because he's a famous comedian, but

if you haven't, if you don't know, just google his name, Harry Hill, it's very funny, very funny, and his name used to be Harry Hall, when he first started doing comedy in probably 1990 or 91, probably 1990, and then I think in about 1992 or 1993, one of them, before he got famous, it was a big spread in Time Out magazine, not big spread, but a big advert in Time Out magazine, where all the listings for London were, so every comedy club would be in there, so it was basically to let all the promoters and

the audience know, so basically it said, from now onwards, Harry Hall will be known as Harry Hill, and then it said he's changed his name due to someone else being called Harry Hill in the entertainment industry, no someone else being called Harry Hall, so his name was changed to Harry Hill, that's the whole story, I used to know Harry Hill, not like knowing to kind of, you know, I didn't go around his house for dinner or to play charades or anything like that, but he was a comedian, well he still is a comedian obviously, but

he was one of these comedians that was a headliner for all the big comedy nightclubs, the comedy clubs, so he'd be like the star of the show, but he'd also do little clubs, like really little clubs, not just, you know, he'd do gigs where it was a door split and he'd end up with like £6, and then he'd do the comedy store where he'd get paid, I don't know, £300 for a set or £400 or, you know, whatever, so he'd really, this was the early 90s, because he wanted just to get on stage and try

out new material, and he took every single gig, which meant I was also in that position, and I took every single gig, but the only ones offered to me were the really, really small ones, where there was, well usually I wasn't getting paid anything, so I kind of got to know him, and he was a really nice bloke, but I didn't get to know him well, but I met him loads and loads of times, and I remember advice he gave me once, he said, I said to him, what, you've seen me, you know, probably 20,

30 times on stage, and he said, yeah, I said, have you got any advice, because I know obviously you're doing really well, and you've got a radio show, and you're probably going to be on TV at some point, and you know, what, have you got any advice, and he said, yeah, I suppose, I said, what advice would you give me, he said quit, I was like, oh, okay, I thought he was joking, you know, it made me laugh, and then he was called, and he went on stage, and I didn't see him after that, but

it's good to get advice though, isn't it, it's good to have those memories.

I remember another one, Alan Davis, he's another comedian, he's very famous in England, and I did a gig with him, I did a comedy gig with him, he was headlining, of course, because he was already like one of the top comedians in the country, or in London anyway at that time, and I did a gig with him, and it was, I said to him, before I went on stage, so we were in the back talking, and I said to him, if this gig don't go well, I'm just going to quit, so I went on stage,

and everything like that, I didn't see Alan Davis for probably six months, and we were again in the back room of a different club, and I said, all right, Alan, he said, all right, he said to me, I thought you were going to quit, it's like, I thought, part of me thinking, well that's rude, because the gig didn't go that bad, it didn't go great, but it wasn't that bad, you know, but part of me thought, he remembers me, which is quite nice, because he's, he was a big star, that was before he was on

telly, and he went on to do lots of stuff, but he's, if you look at his, what did he do, that TV show, where he's a magician, and he's brilliant, he's a lovely bloke, but yeah, it's just, even though it was kind of, he was just making fun of me, it was just like, he remembers me, I used to be friends, well, I used to follow Mark Thomas around, so Mark Thomas is another brilliant comedian, and I was not obsessed with him, but I was just really, it's the kind of comedy I did was rude,

I was very rude, and I wanted to be like Mark Thomas, but no one realised that, I wanted to, I wanted to be, maybe not as political, but I just wanted to be as great as he was, as funny as he was, and as, but just brilliant, I just thought he was brilliant, absolutely loved the bloke, and he's the kind of person, I see him when I was in the comedy club, I remember he came in once, and it was a, I think it was a charity gig, and he turns up, it's in the summer,

and he turns up in shorts, a t-shirt, and pretty little backpack, he's obviously been out for the day somewhere, and he's just turned up, did the gig, said hello to me, did the gig, said hello to other people as well, went on stage, did his 20 minutes or whatever, and then headed off home, and it, it's like there was no nerves, there was no, it's like he just did it off the top of his head, and which I'm sure he didn't, you know, in the sense of he's, he's a brilliant writer, and I'm sure he,

he kind of knew what he was going to be saying, but it just blew me away, it's like wow, and that was years after I kind of fell in, I mean, fall in love with him romantically, but I just, I just fell in love with his act, in his, his attitude, and his ability, and wanting to be like him, and I actually had his telephone number, he gave me his number, which was a mistake, and he put me on the door a few times, so I could go and visit him, not visit him, but go

and see him perform at some of the bigger clubs, so I could get in for free, but then I didn't want to sort of take advantage of that, but I did find a nice tree that was quite high up, that's overlooked, his living room, so I kind of kept in contact that way, from a distance, you know, because I thought it'd be a bit weird to keep phoning him, so I'll do something a bit less weird, but he's, you know, he's a great, great, great comedian, and what other comedians do I really, really like, like

in England, I mean, there's lots in America, I was really big in American comedians before, before I got involved in the London comedy circuit, I only really knew American comedians, other than the, the English ones I'd seen on telly, and I think the only real, not even real, but the only kind of alternative stand-up comedians that I'd seen, English ones, was on a thing, there's a program called Friday Night Live, that used to be on in, probably about 1988, 87, 88, which was a couple of years before I kind of got involved in the comedy

scene, so I kind of saw a few, or maybe it was 86, I can't remember, but anyways, I think Joe Brand was one of the only comedians that I saw on there, Jim Tevere as well, both who I met and got to know a little bit, and see, I was all excited to meet Joe Brand, and she's by far the most famous female comedian, not, but you could say just comedian, but definitely the most famous female comedian in the country, like stand-up, but she's one of the most famous comedians, full stop, because she's been around

for absolutely ages, long before most of the comedians that are around now, it's been around, what, 30, 30 odd years, over 30 years on stage, and I met her in 1991, and we were sitting at the bar, we used to have these, there used to be these chairs and sofa and stuff near the bar, this comedy club I used to go in, and she'd be sitting there, and she was really friendly to me, but I used to annoy her, I think maybe I was trying to make her laugh, or trying to be funny, or something,

but she just stopped talking to me, because I upset her, I said something that she didn't like, and kind of, yeah, which happened quite a lot in those days, but I don't know what it was I said, something silly, it was just, it wasn't meant to, it was just meant to make her laugh, wasn't supposed to, cause her trauma, but, and her boyfriend, I really got on well with her boyfriend, and I think they split, I shouldn't, I don't know, but I think, I don't know, I think because she's married, so I don't know if

they're still together, but his name was Jim, and he was really friendly, and he was a really, really good comedian, really, really good, and he was a headliner, and I remember, so I'd known him for quite a few years, and he said to me one night, I'm quitting, and I said, what?

I thought he was joking to me, and this was like a Saturday night, you know, probably early hours of the morning, we were just sitting around, standing around drinking at the bar, and he said, yeah, I'm quitting, and I said, what, what do you mean you're quitting, how can you quit, you're a brilliant comedian, you used to be really good looking as well, so I imagine it's only a matter of time before TV would want to grab him and stick him on in front of the camera, but he was a really brilliant writer, he wrote

for other people, and it was just really, you know, and he said, no reason, I said, why are you quitting, he said, because I'm never going to be the best, so what do you mean, he said, I'm never going to be the best comedian, so I'm just going to write for other comedians from now on, you know, I've never, ever, ever heard anyone ever say that, ever, before or since, that they're going to stop, you know, what they're doing, because they're never going to be the best, and I kind of was sad, but I kind

of respected it at the same time, but then I thought, what about me, you know, it took me two years to, well, not two years, but it took, it took a few months before I got my first laugh of going on stage, and it took me three years before I started being taken a little bit seriously and getting paid gigs, but he was already up there with, you know, headlining like Harry Hill and Lee Evans and all that, you know, he was already at the top of his game, like in London, on the comedy circuit,

and he did, he stopped performing, and he carried on writing for other big stars that went on to be famous, you know, on television and stuff like that, so he probably earned a lot of money doing it and probably has, perhaps, I can't believe that, you know, how can you just stop doing something that you're so good at, because it wasn't just the jokes, it was his performance as well, he was so confident when he was on there, it's a little bit like Mark Lamar performing on stage, it's live, see Mark Lamar, I don't know

if he did, I'm sure he did a live, live in concert video, and I need to look up that, one of the best stand-up comedians I've ever seen throughout my whole time, and I've seen thousands of performances, thousands, over the 20-year period that I was, you know, involved, and he, I saw him once, and he was in a gig at Clapham Common, and the comedy club, I'm sure it was called the Clapham something, down at the Clapham Common or something like that, and it was a big room, big, probably held over 200, maybe 300 people,

maybe more, but a big, big room, and was it the Black, not the Black Cat, but anyway, down at the Common, I feel it was something to do with Clapham, but it was at Clapham Common anyway, and he came in, and I was performing there as well, I think, that night, doing like a free bit, a free spot, and he came in, and he'd just been to see a concert by, what's his name, the rapper, he was like, can't touch this, do-do-do-do-do, that rapper, and he'd been to see him in, I think, at Wembley, a

stadium or whatever, and he just came in, and he was talking about, talking about the concert before he kind of went on stage, so he went on stage, and he just talked about the concert, and it was really hilarious, what he was saying, but then he stopped talking, and he looked down at somebody that was sitting on a, sitting at a table in front of him, you know, one of the audience members, and he managed to get about 10 minutes material out of that person, who was looking at the table, because they were sitting there,

looking at the table, instead of looking at him, he managed to gain 10 minutes of material out of that, which was absolutely hilarious, that's, that kind of comedy mind is just pure gold, that's just like, wow, and yeah, I was just, it's, I don't think about this stuff very often, but I just kind of come, just came to me, it's absolutely amazing to see something like that, you know, a comedy routine, which was, you know, 100 times better than mine, just that, that came out of nothing, and mind that I'd spent years trying to put

together, and he was, you know, 100 times better than me, just in that 10 minutes of unrehearsed material, which had just come to him in that moment, that's like, oh, I wish I could be like that, yeah, he was, I'll have to look online to see whether or not he's, he's got a stand-up video on YouTube, because he was one of the best stand-ups that I've seen, I ever saw, he was so good, he was so smart, and he was, he'd go on stage, and he was dressed in a suit, and he had his hair

greased back, and he was this handsome young man, and he had a bit of a potty mouth, because swearing and stuff, but he was so funny, so clever, and that's Mark Lamar, so again, I've gone over time talking about a bunch of stuff, Andre's just done a big toilet on the paper, which is lovely, and used the carpet as toilet paper, as he usually does, which is grim, grim, grim, grim, grim, grim, but I'm gonna go, and I wish you have a lovely sleep, and if you're still awake, and you're just listening to this for

a bit of company, or something to do, thank you, thank you for listening, and I hope that I have been a little bit of company, and I know that I go off on, in different directions, and perhaps don't stick to the topic that I first began with, but that's kind of part of the, part of the fun, so take care of yourselves, and remember that you deserve to be happy, you deserve to have a good sleep, and to feel relaxed, and I shall speak to you tomorrow, bye.