#134 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (24th April 2019)

Hello, welcome to Let Me Bore You to Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.

And you can listen to this podcast on lots of different podcast hosts. iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, Spotify, Spreaker. And Spreaker.com is the place where this podcast is homed.

That's where it lives. So you can go to Spreaker and just put in Let Me Bore You to Sleep or my name. And I've got about 32 podcasts on there.

Different ones, you know, different things, chronic pain, different words, got a few sleep podcasts. And so yeah, so basically, it's a case of finding and using whatever podcast host is best for you. Some people like to go online and, you know, on like a laptop or a tablet.

But I think, according to the stats, 90% of listeners are on mobile phones, devices. So and yeah, cool. So I'd really appreciate it if you like, if you can share these recordings, tell other people about it, even embed the player into your website, something like that, if you like.

And a quick thank you to those of you that have bought my daily downloads up to 2000 plus a day, daily a day. So last month, I was just over the 1000 mark. And now this month, I'm just over the 2000 mark.

So that's, it's a nice little jump. So just thank you to everyone that listens regularly. And that's why I'm doing it, doing it for you.

So today, what I thought I would do is, instead of just talking about myself, instead of reading a book, which I will be doing another time, what I'm thinking about is, what I'm going to do anyway, is I'm going to Google something and just read out what comes up. And I thought, I do this a few times, maybe in the future as well. But this is the first time I've kind of done this.

And I'm just going to Google, I've already done it actually, I just put in bored to sleep, bored to sleep. And just to see what comes up on Google. So I've got my laptop running.

So you might hear a gentle little buzz in the background, just let you know it's my laptop and nothing else. And apparently, I was watching this documentary on sex toys. I couldn't believe it, this, this company gets online and they get returns of like 300 returns a day.

And people are returning. Well, you can imagine the kind of things that people are returning. And they have to chuck it in the bin.

Because they can't repackage it and sell it. So they have to chuck it in the bin. And I was thinking, how that's thousands of pounds a day.

I wasn't thinking, like, where are their bins, I want to go through them. That wasn't what I was thinking. But I was just like, wow, that's a lot of, a lot of chucking away stuff that could.

I don't know. Yeah, I'm not sure. But I was selling something like 3000 items a day.

And receiving 10% back that people were using and then saying, I don't like it. It's imagine if restaurants worked like that. I used to work in a restaurant once and people sometimes would bring back the food.

And it'd be practically an empty plate, apart from maybe a little bit of gravy and a half a sausage. And they'd say, I didn't like that. Well, why did you eat it then? I was hungry.

Plus, I want to complain more. What? Well, I asked for lasagna. People sometimes did that.

I asked for lasagna and you gave me sausage and mash. Well, why did you eat it then? So there you go. That's one of those things.

And apparently the most popular sex toy for this company, I think it's honey.com or something like that. I don't know. I can't believe I'm starting this with this, but it's just factual stuff.

It's on television and what's not X rated. It's just a thing, but it's a vibrating butt plug. That's like, that's the biggest selling sex toy.

So yeah. So I'll do a review on that when it gets delivered in the post. But before that, I'm going to redo this.

It's good to know you can buy stuff and just send it back and get your money reimbursed. It's not bad, is it? So bought to sleep. According to this study, you know, Google quite often has like a one thing at the top and it's from the Daily Mail.

It says, according to this study published in Nature Communications, getting enough sleep does little to prevent you from craving a nap when you're bored. The researchers found that sleep deprivation did not affect the way the mice's brains responded to a stimulation of boredom, but grabbing a cup of coffee or a tea might help. So I don't know about you, but I've never seen a mouse drink coffee.

How would they hold the cup? So yeah, I don't think comparing humans and mice are always useful. Not always, you know, not always. Can, so these are people who ask questions.

There's one, two, three, four. People also ask, can being bored make you sleepy? And the answer to that is being bored can also make you feel tired. That may sound strange, but it's true.

And the next one is, does boredom cause sleepiness? It's the same question, isn't it? Excessive daytime sleepiness without a known cause may be a sign of a sleep disorder. And yeah, so that's kind of stuff we already know. Why do we fall asleep when bored? A new paper published in the journal, Nature Communications, oh it's the same as before.

Why does reading put me to sleep? Because you're reading the wrong language. If you read the language you can understand, and it'll be more interesting. I've tried to read Arabic and it just goes right over my head.

As you, I thought about learning French once, completely, nothing to do with this, but when I was in junior school, I was about, what, 10? And it was, yeah, it was the year before I went to high school, and they started trying to teach, please, I still find it funny, they started trying to teach me French. And I couldn't really, I wasn't interested. You know, it's like, well, you're teaching me English, can't you wait until I've learned that first? But of course, it makes sense to teach more than one language at a time, because, yeah, but at the time I didn't realize that, but I didn't learn many words.

But from the slides that they would show, it looked like French people, all they had for breakfast was bread and milk, bread and warm milk. And I'm pretty sure that's not true. That's all I took from the whole, I used to switch off, you know, I'd be there with the rest of the class, the teacher would be on stage, on stage, it'd be he or she, I can't remember, I forgot to look, and they were just talking about French and French words, and I'd be thinking about watching The A-Team at the weekend, or watching Spider-Man, or, you know, usually involved television programs, I didn't have an awful lot else going on.

And a bit like these today, really, it's just television, isn't it? So, although I do need to get back to the gym, I think I've done something to my collarbone, not a collarbone, my chest bone, I'm getting pains in my chest bone. And I think I might have, that was a bit loud, wasn't it? I think I might have bashed it or something. Oh, excuse me, nice belch.

How lovely. Okay, this is the answer, does reading put me to sleep? As your brain works hard and your eye muscles tire, it's only natural that they would need rest, leading to eyes slowly closing and sleep taking over. Reading, in bold letters, doesn't say in bold letters, it's just in bold, isn't bad for your eyes.

If you wait until right before bedtime to read, it's likely that your mind and body are tired and already ready to sleep. Yeah, I used to try and stay up, you know, when I was younger, I used to be reading a book and like trying to force my eyes open to read it. It's a bit like being at a wedding, you know, you're trying to keep your eyes open through the service, you know, it's like all you want to do is get to the bar and get something to eat or go to the toilet or just go into the garden, spin around until you fall on the floor, just anything, anything than listening to the, do you take this person to be your lawful wedded husband?

I don't know why they don't just play a recording, because you have to pay that person to come in and do it.

I don't mean just like church, I mean in a, even if it's not in a religious establishment, if it's just up into weddings in hotels and stuff like that, and you have to pay them quite a lot of money to come in and do the ceremony, just play a tape, play a recording, CD, a download, you can like fast forward it as well, couldn't you do it on like 10 times the speed so it could be done. I think I actually upset my brother's wedding and I was saying, I actually pulled, I pulled the lady that was, I didn't pull her, I got talking to the lady that was a host in the wedding, you know, that was doing the ceremony and I said to her, you're doing the ceremony, yeah?

She said yeah. I said is there any chance you can do it a bit quicker, you can like run through it a bit quicker and miss a few boring bits out? And honestly, the look on her face, it's as if I'd walked up to her and just put my underpants on her head, you know? I didn't do that, I just put the look on her face, it was horror, like I had to look down to make sure my cock wasn't out, it's just like, I'm only saying can you do it a bit quicker because, you know, it's a really hot day, which is lovely considering it was in, I think the wedding was in October, so it was, it was one of those really hot days in October, which was strange.

Really lovely outside, really hot inside, but she really seemed to be upset with me and I might be, you know, might be just making a bit too much of it, but during the actual ceremony, I'm sure I caught her looking over at me and staring me out. She was saying, we're gathered here today for this wonderful celebration of this meeting and partnering of two wonderful people, and she turned around and just stared at me with a big grimace on her face, but it was good, a good wedding though. I do, I love weddings, yeah.

So can you, oh there's another one, I'm not going to read that, so what does, why does doing nothing make you tired? Okay, this is the most, this is the answer they're giving. This is the most obvious reason why you're so tired. Boredom.

Believe it or not, too much lounging around actually makes you more tired. When your body is doing nothing all day, there's no way to get the blood and oxygen flowing in your body, which results in laziness and feeling tired. Makes sense? Yeah, I'll do a lot of that.

And what's this one? There's a few bits about anxiety and stuff, I'm not going to talk about that, I'm just going to focus on the sleep. Always one. How do I stop falling asleep in lectures? The third, number one, go to bed earlier.

That's just, that's like saying, what do I do to stop myself feeling hungry when you have something to eat, don't you? That's like a bit of a sarcastic answer, isn't it? Go to bed earlier. It's better to go to bed earlier than to sleep later. It's like, I imagine they're having a lecture so they're not four years old.

The next answer is stand up. If you're falling asleep on trains or the bus or in a lecture hall, get up and go to the back where you can stand. I'm guessing they talk about the lecture hall because you can't stand at the bus, the back of a bus, because they've got seats there.

You could stand up but it'd look a bit weird. And trains, again, if you're going to stand on a train, you can only really stand near the doors. And then advise to Rosen, whoever Rosen is.

Number three, take a nap. Again, it's the equivalent, isn't it? I need to go to the toilet, I don't know what to do. Go to the toilet then.

Take a nap. A 20 minute power nap can help you stay awake during the day. Yeah, I do that sometimes.

Sometimes six, seven times a day for about an hour. Drink some caffeine. It's probably not a healthy advice there.

They've kind of gone for the, you know, it's like, well, have you tried some cocaine? That'll keep you going. A bit of speed. Like, no, drink some caffeine.

Maybe for the one once, about every now and then I would say with caffeine, but as a person that used to drink a lot of coffee and I think it kind of was part of my illness when I got ill. So yeah, I wouldn't advise drinking too much coffee. Although I do drink too much caffeine, but I only have one cup of coffee a day.

And that is probably the most boring thing I've said so far in this recording. Oh, the next question is how to stay awake in your most boring meeting. I wonder what this is.

So I'm just going to read what's on the front covers. Are naps good? What happens? What happens? No sleep? It's not even a sentence, is it? Some of the most serious... Okay. Is reading in bed bad for sleep? It's possibly bad.

It says it is the perfect way to unwind and prepare for bed, which could end up helping you sleep better at night. Reading a good book before you go to bed. Why are they stressing a good book? You don't want to go and buy a book that you don't like and I'm pretty sure you're not going to read it.

It's like reading a good book. Sometimes people say, oh, you've been on holiday for two weeks. Did you go anywhere nice? Like, no, I went and visited your parents and stayed in the garden.

Your mum don't take a lot of time in the bath. Really put me off doing my poo. But of course you went somewhere nice.

Reading a good book before you go to... Reading a good book before you go to bed can have such a major impact on your mental health while making it a lot easier for you to fall asleep at night. See with my bed, it's not really very comfortable to sit up in at the moment. I need to get a bunch of pillows or cushions or something because it's a comfortable bed.

I've got... Brant White's four years old now, but it's the first nice bed I've ever had. And it's a double bed, but I need a double bed for myself. I do wonder if I ever did get a girlfriend, where would she sleep? Because I need that bed for me.

Oh, well. How can I read at night without falling asleep? It's the next question. Okay.

The first answer is, well, don't fall asleep. No, it's not. Number one, sit up to read in... Sit up... Okay, I'm going to get this out without laughing.

Sit up to read in bed to avoid falling asleep. Are you telling me there's people laying down in bed, reading, holding the bed, holding the book above their face, and eventually they fall asleep and it lands on their face? It's going to wake them up, isn't it? I thought everyone would sit up. Well, maybe not.

The next one is, eat a light snack while you're reading. Aha. So this isn't necessarily being in bed though, but the first bit seems to aim at that because you wouldn't eat a light snack whilst you're about to go to sleep.

Three, drink a cold decaffeinated beverage to keep yourself awake. So this is how this is really... It's got nothing to do with being boring, is it? Or being bored. Oh, this is another one like the obvious, get 79 hours of sleep.

Not 79, 729 hours of sleep every night. So you're less tired when you read. It's just like, oh, how can I stop myself getting so dirty? It's like, well, wash.

It's like the obvious... Oh, some of these questions are just... They look like they've been written by seven-year-olds. Is it possible to die of embarrassment? That's one of the questions. I have to see what is said there.

I'm not going to read what it says. Here's a question. Should you sleep when you're tired? No, you should wait until you're wide awake.

I'm not going to read that. What is the difference? Can you... Yeah, how can I avoid sleeping while listening to class? Oh, okay. Again, make sure you get enough sleep at night.

Eight hours is just an average, apparently. Number two, make sure you're only using your bedroom or dorm to sleep, as opposed to the roof, sleeping in a tree, or in a freezer compartment of the supermarket. I mean, well, I can't fit in the microwave.

Of course people are going to be sleeping in their bedroom. Anyway, read ahead. Read how to avoid sleep inside a classroom.

Read ahead. So basically, how would that avoid you falling asleep? Because you already know the information that's being given to you. On number four, make yourself uncomfortable.

So what? Leather trousers. Really tight leather trousers. Three sizes too small.

Gas mask. I don't know what's good to make you uncomfortable. Vinegar in your eyes.

I mean, exercise. Now I'm hoping they're talking about physical exercise and not demons and stuff. But yeah, you must exercise the demons at least once a day.

So yeah, it's... I did actually do some exercise two weeks ago. Like proper inner gym, lifting weights, punching a punch bag and getting sweaty. And on the way home, I was on the bus and I could actually hear inside my underpants, I could hear the new sweat that's been produced introducing itself to the old stale sweat.

It was quite interesting. Make sure you protect your eyes. What? Help me to avoid sleeping inside the classroom.

Make sure you protect your eyes. That doesn't make sense to me at all. Sorry about that.

I can't keep with that one. How can I stop falling asleep at night? Why would you want to fall asleep? I suppose if you're on night shift. I think some of these questions are how does watching TV before bed affect sleep? Andre just did a burp.

Andre, stop that. How does watching that... Okay, it's because of the blue light that's emitted from the screens of a TV. So the kind of the standard thinking is maybe give a little break between looking at a computer screen or watching a television or whatever before going to bed.

But I think if you've got... I've fallen asleep many times after watching telly. I've fallen asleep while watching telly. I don't have a television in my bedroom solely because I decided not to do that.

I've spent the last 30 years with a bedroom in my telly. Not a bedroom in my telly. Telly in my bedroom.

Although the bedroom is in my telly when the telly is off because you can see the reflection of the bedroom in the screen. But I used to just basically live in rooms. One room with a bed.

Sometimes a room big enough to have a desk, a table and a chair and a wardrobe. Sometimes they weren't big enough for really much more than a wardrobe. And I'd just be... have a television at the end of the bed basically.

And now for the first time I've got a separate room for the television. And I decided not to have a TV in my bedroom because it would be so easy just to sit there and watch television in bed like I used to. And I don't want to do that anymore.

Although I do. You know sometimes I'd quite like it. So one day I might get a television and stick it on the wall.

It's going to have to be a big television with speakers near the bed so I can have it low down but still enjoy it. I think it'd be quite nice during the winter. Maybe get a little electric fire and melt some marshmallows as well.

Maybe not. I can do that with a radiator I suppose, can't I? A radiator. Not the radio.

The radiator. And what's next? How can I study... How can I stay awake for 24 hours? This is boring. How can I... It's saying how can I stay asleep at night? Okay.

It says insomnia, how to stay asleep. Establish a quiet relaxing bedtime routine. Number two, relax your body.

Of course, listen to Let Me Boy To Sleep with Jason Newland. Make your bedroom conducive to sleep. So get rid of the brass band, especially the trumpet player.

Yeah, probably remove any wild animals. Just make it conducive to sleep, whatever that means to you I suppose. When I was younger, I was an adult.

I was like late 20s. I was living in this little tiny little room. I say living in it, I did leave, you know, but I slept in that tiny little room and on the wall, I put these little transfer sticker things of stars and I put them on the wall and then when the lights went off, they were like fluorescent.

Not like really bright, I didn't have to wear sunglasses in bed, but they were just really faint, but really quite beautiful. Oh, it was nice, it was a novelty. See, not all my stories are boring.

That was very exciting, that was. Make the bedroom conducive to sleep. Put clocks in your bedroom out of sight.

Why would you need a clock in your bedroom then, if you can't, you know? For me, the only time I'd look at my clock in the bedroom is at night, to see what time it was. Because I don't spend, apart from when I'm asleep, I don't spend any time in the bedroom. So yeah, I don't know.

Unless I'm playing with Andre on the bed and he's hiding under the quilt and I'm grabbing him and he's trying to get away, get off me. So I let him go and he's coming and grabs me and bites me, little cheeky monkey ears. So put clocks in your bedroom out of sight, which does, yeah, kind of defeats the object of having a clock.

Although I don't have any clocks in my bedroom, I don't have any clocks in the entire flat. I can tell the time by television, by my laptop, or by my phone. The phone's the easiest one, time's always on there.

So put clocks in your bedroom out of sight. Yeah, especially if it's one of those cuckoo clocks. Ideally, don't have a cuckoo clock in your bedroom, like every hour.

Like this whole, so this, although saying that, you know what, I had an uncle when I was younger. A lot happened when I was younger. Most of the things happened when I was younger.

In fact, everything, everything happened when I was younger. My uncle lived in Kent and he was, yeah, very wealthy. And he had this big house on the beach and, well, it wasn't on the beach, but it was like a little prom and then there was the beach.

So it was just pretty much there. And he, when I used to stay, I used to stay in different rooms, depending on how many of us used to visit. But I remember once I stayed in one of the upstairs rooms, possibly at the top of the house.

And on a landing downstairs, there was a clock that was like, yeah, but in rhythm. And it used to make a sound every hour, but it wasn't loud, but it was a kind of a sound. But there was something beautiful about it.

I've always been an auditory person. I've always really enjoyed sounds, not all sounds, admittedly, but sometimes like the sounds of the sea or I suppose even when I was a kid, like really young, I used to quite like listening to the sounds of my brother sleeping, you know, just that sound. Because when he was sleeping, I didn't have to listen to him talking.

No, that's not necessarily true, but it's not the reason. I used to like the sound of the wind outside and I still do. I still like the sounds of the wind, the sounds of the rain on the windows, sounds of the birds in the trees.

I think that's why I did all right in sales on telephones, because I could kind of tune into the voice that I was talking to. It was a little bit easier to maybe build that rapport. And then if they were there in front of me and I had to look at them, and I find, I don't know, I just find people's faces distracting sometimes.

Just the expressions, like, oh, but, you know, the voice says one thing, but then I've got the face gives a completely, doesn't seem to fit with what's being said. And I was like, oh, I don't know, is this incongruence? Is this, or is it just me not being able to read what's being said? And it's, I'm not really great with vagueness. I can do vagueness with hypnosis sessions, take a lot of vagueness and I do, I can use it in that way, but I don't, not a main vagueness in a conversation.

It's like, just say what you're trying to say. Just, you know, just tell me, tell me. What's the next one? Avoid smoking.

I suppose that really could be a number on anything, couldn't it? Any question, avoid smoking. Get regular exercise. I think I used to do exercise before going to bed years ago.

I've had some really, in the past, when I was younger, I had some quite physical jobs. And when I had those physical jobs, I always slept really well. Really, just because I'd just be on the go all day.

And I'd just be physically exhausted, kind of. And I'd spend the whole day talking rubbish. Also, I was kind of tired from that as well.

Here's another obvious one. Go to bed only when you're sleepy. Well, so that's not necessarily good advice for everybody.

On a normal day, I can go to bed when I'm sleepy. You know, it's quarter past two now in the morning, on this wonderful Wednesday, 24th of April, 2019. I could go to sleep now, I can go to sleep at four, I can go to sleep at seven.

But that's no good if I have to get up at eight in the morning to be at work for half nine or ten or, you know. So I choose not to stay in bed if I'm not sleepy, just for the sake of going to bed at a specific time. For me, that kind of suits me.

But if I had to get up, or if I do have to get up for a meeting, which I do have the occasional ones with the doctors or whatever, I try and make the appointments in the afternoon as late as possible. But I'll, you know, I'll go, either go to bed early, or just make sure that I can get out of bed and just leave, go, you know, go out the door. So have a bath in the evening and before I go to bed or whatever, and just perhaps go out before I'm ready to wake up, but knowing that I can come back and go to sleep.

So some of these things, these bits of advice can be useful, but we don't all fit into the same category, do we? You know, there's been times when I've had to get up at five o'clock every day for years or six o'clock in the morning for years. Other times, I've been doing night shift and I, you know, needed to stay awake between 10 and 6 in the morning, turning the evening to 6 in the morning. And I can tell you, I prefer night shift every time.

As long as I can get sleep during the day, night shift, I'll start singing in a minute. I prefer nights. I love nights, always have done.

Ever since I was a kid, I've liked being awake at night. Not necessarily all night long, apart from at weekends. That's another song, isn't it? It's that Lionel Richie.

And at the weekend, I think that's another song. When I was working, when I was in my 20s, I was always working early hours, early in the morning. So including Saturday morning as well, quite often.

So I'd have to get up. In fact, I have to get up an hour earlier on a Saturday morning, but we finished work at 12. So instead of five or six, whatever.

So I used to try and stay awake on a Friday, Friday night. If, you know, if I didn't have to work Saturday, if I did have to work Saturday, I'd have to go to bed early. I had no choice.

But I'd still only get like maybe six hours sleep. But on a... Yeah, because I think we actually started at six o'clock on a Saturday. So on a Friday night, when I didn't have to get up in the morning, I'd already been up since six o'clock that morning.

I'd be staying up, sitting up in my bed, watching television. And I'd be trying to force my eyes open. And I wasn't literally putting matchsticks between my eyelids to keep them open, because I don't think anyone's ever really done that.

But I so wanted to stay awake to watch whatever was on. Because Friday nights used to be really good on telly. And see before, what do we have? Yeah, if I remember rightly, on a channel four, there used to be a at least an hour of comedy, like American comedy shows.

So there was Cheers. And then there was Roseanne. And there was there's a few different ones that came along and lasted for a few years and then went away.

But yeah, like Cheers, Roseanne, then you had Frasier, of course. 30 Rock, is it? You know, one with the space people that come. That's really not 30 Rock.

But it had the word rock in it. And what other one? There was quite a few that came and went over the years. And what other American sitcoms? So I said Roseanne, didn't I? I'm not sure when Friends started.

That's the thing. I don't know if Friends started, so the late 90s, early 2000s. What other sitcoms was there? American ones.

But I used to love them. I'd watch every single American sitcom that ever was on television. I mean, of course, there's loads that have never been broadcast in my country.

I own this country, don't you know? There's loads of TV shows that you, in England, in America, you've possibly never heard of, but are absolutely huge here, or were huge. I'm trying to think of something that was massive. El Dorado.

There was this, for the Americans listening, there was a TV show in the early 90s called El Dorado. And it was a soap. It was a soap opera.

And it was based in Spain. I think it was in the early 90s. I think so.

Yeah, it was. Yeah. And they actually, it was on the BBC, and they actually built this whole film set.

Spent like 500 million or something like that on this big film set in Spain. So it's filmed on location in Spain. And it's called El Dorado.

And for those in America, I think you should check it out. It's one of the most popular TV shows that we've ever had. I suggest you watch every single episode from start to finish.

El Dorado. Again, it's another song, isn't it? That was one of the most, yeah, really, really popular. Really popular.

Oh, yeah. What other TV shows in this country is... It Ain't Half Hot, Mum. That was really, actually, that really was big.

That was a sitcom. Mind Your Language. That was another one that was big in the 70s.

There's some sitcoms from this country that you might never if... I'm not assuming anyone's listening to this is from America, because I know it's from all over the world. But 80% of my audience are from America. So I thought I'd just mention that, you know, there are some sitcoms and some programs that you haven't seen before, that you might not have seen before.

And what was it? There's a few good ones, actually. One Foot in the Grave. That was good.

Frank Spencer. What was that one? George and Mildred. See, if you want to get an idea of what I like, the kind of stuff that I grew up watching, and I still watch.

It is a bit dated, admittedly, and some of the language is not kind of acceptable anymore. But it was from the early 70s. But it's George and Mildred, Terry in June.

They're two of my favorite TV shows. I like Rising Damp. I don't... I'm not such a big fan of it.

I think I've watched every single episode pretty much anyway. What other TV shows? Porridge. See, if you're in another country, check out Porridge.

It's one of the biggest TV shows, biggest comedy shows we ever had. It was Ronnie Barker, and it was porridge as in what you eat, P-O-R-I-D-G-E. And it was set inside a prison, and it's like really one of the top sitcoms that we had.

Another top sitcom is Only Fools and Horses, which is probably my favorite one of all. But it's sort of multi-layered. It's not just because it's funny, but it's also the characters are so lovable.

And, you know, I grew up watching it, so it kind of means something. I think anybody from... anyone over the age of 40 is going to really have kind of quite fond memory. Well, not everyone, but a lot of people are going to remember watching Only Fools and Horses, you know, because they used to have Christmas episodes nearly every year for quite a few years in a row during the 90s.

So that's one of my favorite sitcoms of all time, Only Fools and Horses. But then we go back to American sitcoms. Here's a sitcom that I used to watch back in 1987, and it made me laugh so much when I first saw it.

And it was on really late. It was like on early hours in the morning. So I don't know how many people in this country actually watched it, and I don't know if it was popular in America or not.

I really don't know. But it made me laugh really properly. It was just so absurd.

I like absurd humor. I like silliness. I like any kind of humor, but I just... silly stuff just... it does tickle me.

I like adult humor, but I kind of... I think I'm very much kind of quite... very childish. I've got a childish sense of humor, I think. I can kind of do all... I can embrace all kinds of humor, but I just... Anyway, Sledgehammer.

That's the name of the show that I watched. Sledgehammer. And just one of the scenes is Sledgehammer and his partner knock on the door of a lady.

The lady answered the door and said, we're here about your daughter. She said she's gone missing. He said she's missing any marks, any tattoos, anything.

She said she's five. It's just... I don't know. Another one, he answered the door saying, oh sorry, your husband's... he's gone.

So if you want to get the crying over and done with, we can move on with the paperwork. And he used to have a shower with his gun. It's... yeah, he used to really make me laugh.

What made me laugh also is... What's that programme? Loved and Married. Loved and Married. Bundy and his family.

I can't remember the name of the show now. Loved and Married. Married something.

Married on purpose. I don't know. Something married.

Happily married. No, that wouldn't be it. But that made me just... that was funny.

It's just his... just the put downs and just the kind of... again, it was just, they were just all... yeah, it's funny. Anyway, I like that. But I'll tell you the thing that tickled my funny bone.

Oh, another thing. Watch. If you ever get a chance, if you're not, if you've never seen this, and if you are still, you shouldn't be listening to this anyway, you should be like asleep now, but if for any reason you've managed to... you're listening to this just for a bit of company, you know, a bit of... I don't know, people do and I'm happy for that and I'm happy to provide something, you know.

And here's something else to check out. Kenny Everett. So it's Kenny Everett.

K-E-N-N-Y-E-V-E-R-E-T-T, I think. Anyway, he was a DJ. Very funny on the and he was very funny but I knew him from being on television when I was a child and he had all these characters and I just... I used to practice the characters when I was on holiday because we used to go to Wales and we'd be on a beach and I used to kind of put on a little show and pretended to be the different characters from the Kenny Everett show.

I don't know why I waited to go on holiday before doing it but maybe it was something about the sea and the sand and being in Wales because if you've never been to Wales, it's a beautiful, beautiful place to go to and, yeah, maybe that's why it brought out the... I must have felt quite confident. It must be the sea air made me high but I used to, yeah, check it out. It's very funny.

The thing that... I discovered a whole different kind of comedy back in... I was about 13, maybe 12, 12 probably and I was at my uncle's and this is the one with the house and the clock and I was just there for about a week and, yeah, this is the time his little... his daughter was about four and she was absolutely obsessed with watching The Jungle Book. She would watch it over and over and over again and, in the end, I thought I'd do something about it and my mum said, uh, you're 12. You don't have any power to have her adopted.

I said, oh, yeah, but you've got to stop. Stop with this. Just, it's like, I want to be like you.

It's like, I can't, I can't take it anymore and she said, look, it's not your house. I said, no, it's not my house. What point? When did I ever say it was my house? And she said, listen, young man, don't talk back to me.

I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. She said, oi, if you keep doing that, you won't have any lasagna. I said, all right, then.

I can have chips with it. She said, yeah. So, that's good and we went out.

I don't know where we went or why we went there. I don't remember. All I know is I drunk loads and loads of red wine.

Well, it probably wasn't a lot, but it was a lot for me and I was ill, had a massive hangover the next day. I think it was probably the first time I ever had a hangover, a proper hangover and my niece or cousin or whatever, she was in one room watching The Jungle Book. I went into the other room that also had a television and loads of videos.

And I think I had like a glass of water or something and that anadine or something. So, to try with my headache. And I watched two videos, one after the other.

Two, and I didn't realise at the time that they were two of the funniest films ever made. Well, in my opinion, but also in a lot of film buffs opinions. But I didn't know this at the time.

I don't know which order I watched the films, but I watched Airplane and The Life of Brian. I don't think I've ever laughed as much in my life before or since. It was just, and I was kind of still a little bit delirious.

I probably still had a fair bit of alcohol in my system as well. And I was laughing. Those were the best three and a half hours.

And I'd never heard of Airplane. I've never heard of, I didn't know anything about Monty Python, because I wasn't allowed to watch those kind of programmes because they were on late at night. Plus, they were in the 60s before I was born.

I didn't have a time machine at that point. Didn't get that till about 2004. And it was so funny.

Really, really loved those two films. And it's then that I realised that it really is absurd humour that I love probably the most. I like political humour.

I like adult humour. I like rude humour. I like I'm fine if it's something like a family film, if it's funny, or if it's a stand-up comedian swearing and talking about really unsuitable subjects and topics.

I like it all, but absurdity. And I'm going to bring this to an end because I need to finish this. This is just for those that are still listening.

Two of the funniest things I ever saw in a film. And it was, I think it was a French film, or it might have been Spanish. I think it was French.

Had subtitles and it was a comedy film. At least I think it was. And there was one scene where there was a man in a psychiatrist's office.

And the psychiatrist was sitting in a chair behind a man who was laying on a, I don't know, like a couch thing. But the man laying on the couch was looking at the other side of the wall. So he couldn't, unless he looked around, he couldn't see the psychotherapist.

So the psychotherapist was talking to him and he said, no, tell me more about that dream. So the patient starts talking. The psychotherapist stands up.

Of course, the patient can't see him. Stands up, walks out, walks out of a door, goes to the toilet, makes himself a drink, has like brandy or something, has the drink. And you think, okay, well, he's going to do all this.

Will he get back in time before the patient stops talking and wonders why it's quiet? And you see him walk in towards going back in there. The psychiatrist walks into the door, the other door, which the patient walked into, so the patient could see him walk in. So he walked out of the back door, so the patient couldn't see him.

And he walks into the other door, back into the room, so the patient could see that he'd been out of the room, instead of going back the same way and sitting down before. I found that hilarious at the time. It's better when you see it.

And there was another scene where there's this man, he's in a caravan, and there's a roof in the caravan, it's got a hole in it, and it's raining really, really hard. The roof's not raining, it's raining, and there's water dripping in a hole in the roof. And there's a bucket, and it's basically collecting the water.

And he walks into the caravan. I think he's sitting in a different part. He walks, looks at the bucket, and the bucket's full.

He picks the bucket up, he just empties the water on the floor, and puts the empty bucket back down to catch the rest of the water. That's what I find funny. It's just absolutely absurd.

It's... I imagine there are people that would do that if they were, like, staying in your caravan, and not yours, but, you know, they're a guest or whatever, and think, ah, I'll just chuck it on the floor. But imagine doing it yourself in your own place, collecting the water so the floor doesn't get wet, and then just pouring the water on the floor anyway. Anyway, I'm going to go.

And I didn't get very far, really, with this Google search, but I'll just have a quick look, see if there's anything else. I wonder if anything comes up. I've got podcasts or anything.

I've got this one, it's a YouTube video. Bored to sleep. I'm just going to quickly look.

I want to see if I'm there, that's what I'm looking for. That's why I need people to share my podcasts, so that other people can find them, because I've got no... I've got no websites anymore. I'm not... I probably am there somewhere, probably page 120,000.

What if I do a little thing any time past 24 hours? I do know how to find it. If I just put Jason, bored to sleep, Jason. Ah, yeah, first page is Best Boredom Podcasts, 2019, Player FM.

Let's click on that, see what that says. And it's already listed me, so Jason, let me bored to sleep. So it's a little bit of a where am I? Yeah, let me bored to sleep, Jason Newland, 13 days ago.

See, some of these podcasts, hosts, they don't update. Like this, I'm going to click on it. 100, ah, okay.

All right, so it's not able to fetch the thing, because I deleted some stuff and then it started. Oh, that's weird. But why didn't I just edit five minutes ago? Yeah, so if I just click on that, contact support, new support ticket, check ticket status, why are you... You're missing, can I edit? Why can't I import a feed? Okay, let's have a look, see this.

May try to open a serious screen. Okay, if I click on that, which means I can add a new message, that's what I'm going to do. Yeah, please.

So my podcast is that. Please update. Update my podcast feed.

Please update or refresh. Yeah, that'd be good. So I say hi, I'm just like, hi, yeah, hi.

Oh, that wasn't supposed to happen. Please update, refresh. Please, can you, can you update, refresh my podcast feed? It is still working, but not on your site.

Thank you very much. Love and kisses, hugs and well wishes. Oh, my tummy just went rumble rumble.

Feed pod bane. Yeah, that's cool. And I'll send that from jasonnewland.hotmail.co.uk. Yeah.

Hopefully, they'll do it. They might not. They might.

Who knows? There's no way of knowing really. Can't predict these things. It might happen.

It might not happen. But anyway, even though my podcast is fetching an error, it is still being listed on PlayerFM underneath the most boring podcasts of 2019, which is good. It just means I need to just be a bit more careful with changes I make to the podcast because if a small, well, to be fair, it wasn't a small change, it was to make quite a big change to it.

But everything's still working. I didn't delete the podcast or anything like that. I wonder if I'm anywhere else, if I've got any other podcasts that are boring.

No. Ice cream. So I haven't got them listed.

Like numberly, numerically rather numberly. No. Andre.

No, I don't seem to have any others in there. Their list of boring stuff. I am listed on their other stuff, but other podcasts.

Oh, there's quite a few. There's a few ahead of me, but there's loads after me as well. So it's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29.

So I'm 29th out of, there's got to be a good 100, 100, 200. Wonder what the top ones are. Top one is clinically inane.

All right. So there's quite a few ones that are boring. And some are there specifically to be boring.

Stimulated boredom. Reviews, gadgets, gaming, geek culture, podcasts. I'm not telling you this so that you can go elsewhere.

You need to stay with me. Because they're not going to do this for the rest of their lives. I am.

Well, they might do, but I am. I'm here forever. I'm devoted to you.

So I'm going to go have a lovely, lovely sleep. And this has been a particularly long recording for some reason. I don't know why, but I will upload this, make it available for you to listen to.

And remember that you deserve to be happy and you deserve to sleep well. Bye.