#125 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (7th April 2019)

Hello, hello, welcome to the tiny footsteps of a little ferret running around just at the wrong time when I'm trying to make a recording. So welcome to letmeboreyoutosleep.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes because falling asleep may be happening during this recording.

Therefore, if you're a surgeon, please, you know, please don't listen to this. If you're in the middle of an operation or something like that. Not that this necessarily would be a good background.

I was going to say music but it's not really music. Well, it's not music at all, is it? It's talking. Andre's just jumped on top of me and he's a bit wet.

He's got this new thing that he likes to do where he does a wee near the front door on the paper and then he climbs and starts scratching at the front door and he starts rolling around in his wee. He doesn't mean to do it. He's not like, oh, I want to run around in my wee now.

I haven't done that. It's in my diary. I better do that.

I should have done that at half four. He basically gets so caught up. Oh, his fur's all sticky.

Gets so caught up in the kind of a frenzied wanting to get through the front door that he can't. Kind of. He loses the sense of, I think, reason and he forgets that there's a wee there.

And he gets a little bit wet. And he's also done that with other stuff, which wasn't wee. And again, he would never do it normally, but he just loses control.

He just has to get through that door. And I've been laying on my bed, maybe during the day, having a bit of a sleep or lay down. And quite often when Andre jumps onto the bed, he likes to jump where the pillows are and he runs across the pillow or runs across my head or my face and then goes down to bite my feet or something.

And there was this one occasion where he did that and I sort of grabbed him and I thought, oh, I think I want you off the bed. He's like annoying me a bit. I want to try and get some sleep or just just resting.

And the whole of his back was very sticky. Like, oh, what's that? I looked and he was covered in a substance which wasn't wee wee. I just want to put it that way.

And again, it's not his fault. He didn't mean to do it. It's just, he's just getting excited to get through the front door.

And that substance was all over my pillows and my bedding and my clothes that I was wearing. So I had to basically, it's a nice story, isn't it? I had to change everything. I had to wash him, of course, as well.

Wash it off of him. And ever since that time, I've just, I lay down on my bed and I hear him scratching at the front door and I hear his little footsteps running towards my bed and I'm, oh, a little bit, a little bit wondering what's going to happen next. It's only happened a couple of times, but, you know, sometimes I do put him in his cage when I want to get some sleep during the day.

If it's, it might just be that I need a couple of hours of rest, you know, and that seems to be the time that he makes the most racket. He has a procedure. He scratches at the front door first.

If that doesn't get my attention, he'll climb all over me and I'll put him on the floor a few times. Sometimes it takes 15 times before he stays on the floor, just keep jumping back on the bed. And then I'll go into the kitchen and start opening the cupboards in the kitchen and pushing stuff onto the floor.

If that doesn't get my attention, he does some other things in the living room, starts pushing stuff off and whatever he can to make noise and to be naughty. And the last thing he does, if he can't get my attention that way, he comes into the bedroom and he lays on his back right in front of the wardrobe and he puts his feet up and he just rattles the wardrobe door, pushes it open, lets it slam shut and keeps doing it. Doesn't want to go into the wardrobe, he's just doing it because he knows that I always get up out of bed when he does that because it's noisy and it's annoying.

And he does it until I get up and then he runs away from me because he thinks if he keeps doing that I'm going to take him for a walk. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't and sometimes he ends up going into his cage for a couple of hours. So he's got these little routines, these little processes that he goes through, different levels of annoyance.

It's amazing, he just knows how to manipulate me, he really does. He's got another thing that he does when he's hungry, he climbs up onto me and you know, I kind of just, I don't know what he wants because he can't talk sometimes apart from doing some of these recordings where he can talk and I just let him off and I just ignore him and then he'll start going up to his empty bowl and pretending to eat out of the empty bowl and looking up at me. As if to say, I'm eating air here daddy, why is there no food here? Surely there should be some food in this bowl.

He looks at me. Sometimes he'll actually push the bowl over, you know, there's been times where he's pushed the bowl towards me. When I've been sitting down, he's pushed the bowl of his nose towards me to let me know that he wants me to get him some food.

He's very cheeky. I think some people that, you know, kind of know that I've got Andre, the little ferret, they think that he's like a hamster or something that you leave in the cage and doesn't really do anything. I know hamsters probably do do lots if you were to let them out, I'm sure they'd have a real good old time in your house.

Especially with the wires, and you've got to be careful obviously because they like to gnaw on stuff. Andre doesn't gnaw on stuff, he's more interested in knocking stuff off and he likes to break things. He's not really interested in biting through wires or anything like that.

But if he can get onto the top to push the television over, he'd be happy all day long. He would, that would be a great accomplishment for him. He just wants to get onto every, basically any straight level surface that's got things on it.

If he can get onto that, whether it's a table, whether it's a chair, whether it's a kitchen, you know, anything, he'll get on and he'll just push stuff off. I came in months, quite a few months, maybe last year, yeah it was maybe over a year ago, and came in to the flat, I've been out. Usually that's what I do when I've just come into the flat, I open the door and I've been out.

I don't just go out the front door and come back in, that'd be a bit strange. So yeah, I've been out. Although sometimes I do, when I put the rubbish out, I do still lock the front door when I go out and put the rubbish out and then I come back and I open the front door again because that's the best way to get in when it's locked.

And I've got a lot of locks on my door by the way, I've got lots of locks, more locks than I've ever had ever. Very, very secure, it's a very secure door anyway. It's one of those old-fashioned council doors, you know, with the mesh, metal mesh glass and the door's really sturdy, proper, you can't... I actually lock myself out.

Do I lock myself out or do I leave the keys in there? That's the same thing, isn't it? Yeah, I lock myself out and I had to call a locksmith and the locksmith couldn't get in. Now locksmiths couldn't get in any door, they are amazing, it's a phenomenal skill that they've got. I say he couldn't get in, he did get in in the end because otherwise I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't, I mean I would still be alive but I wouldn't be sitting here if I had never got it back into the flat.

But he did everything he could because what they try and do firstly with... because I've seen a couple, I've seen two or three times I've seen locksmiths at work and the first thing they do is they just try their standard locksmith key, it's like a key thing which they put in and it just adjusts to the side of the key and try to do that. If that doesn't work then they look through the letterbox and they try to basically do what burglars would do apart from steal stuff but they look through with a light and try to turn the knob of the door from inside to open it.

But my door's too stiff and it's really it's quite an old door and it won't open that way.

So the only way they could get in was to actually remove the whole lock and that was proper noisy so you couldn't, you know, if someone was to break in they'd have to make a lot of noise to break in and even then it took quite a long time to do. But from the inside, once I'm inside I've got one, two, three, four, five, six locks on the door from the inside. So it's quite a sturdy door as it were but I wish I could remember why I mentioned the door.

Oh yeah I was in here, I was in and I did get locked out that once but I can't remember why I mentioned the door. The story wasn't really about doors, it was about Andre really wasn't it? Wanting to go out and do stuff and oh yeah not going outside, oh yeah yeah. I came in one day, I walked in, just closed the door behind me like I normally do.

I don't always lock all of the locks when I first get in but sometimes I do. It depends because if I'm going to go out again shortly afterwards I'll just do the one lock you know, the deadlock or whatever you call it. And because I have to keep the door closed all the time because Andre will run out any opportunity he'll run.

It doesn't make me feel great as a dad you know, it's like he wants to get away all the time but he just wants to run around and have fun you know, that's all. I don't think it's really a personal thing and he, yeah I came home that day and I don't, I'm guessing it was the afternoon, I'm not really, I'm really a morning person so getting home from somewhere means it probably would be afternoon, early evening and the kitchen was completely a mess. Plates, everything was on the floor you know, saucepans all knocked on the floor.

I thought I'd been burgled so I'm looking at the rest of the flat seeing whether they've taken the gold bullion and all the jewels and stuff that I've got, necklaces, tiaras you know, just general stuff that we all have in our homes and the safe wasn't open either so they weren't able to get hold of any of the money bonds or you know, any of the secret documents that I've got. So it was kind of, I couldn't figure it out, it's like how come all the stuff's on the floor in the kitchen? Literally cutlery, knives, everything and very worrying, it's like this is very strange.

You know, I've got a poltergeist that's really into cooking you know, it's like not interested in the other rooms, just the kitchen you know, it's a very specific isn't it, very specific poltergeist and then I found Andre, he was hiding because he knew, well he's the one that did it, he knew that he'd been naughty and he was hiding from me.

I think he was like under the wardrobe or something, he was really hiding properly, wouldn't come out and I realised what I'd done is I'd put the, I think I'd left a chair in the kitchen, so he climbed onto the chair and from the chair he climbed onto the kitchen counter and he basically pushed everything that he could off of the kitchen counter onto the floor and it was seriously like broken, it was broken plates and everything, just I think breakfast cereal was on the floor and it took ages to divide, to separate the sugar

puffs from the broken glass and plates so that I could eat it in the morning and I couldn't believe it, seriously, I think I took a picture but I've probably lost that picture because I've, you know over the years I've took lots of pictures of things and I've lost the pictures, I remember when I was about 16, I must have been 15 or 16 and I bought my very first camera and it was, I don't know if it was a Kodak camera or not, it might have been but it might not have been but I'm

pretty sure I had a Kodak camera once but then I don't remember if I did but it was a camera anyway, it was, you know, I pointed at people and they clicked or they didn't click but the thing flashed and I got really excited, I mean I wasn't jumping up and down and dribbling or any, you know, I wasn't that excited but I got a sense of, oh you know, I just got a, oh I like this, so I started taking pictures of people, my family and you know where I was working and that kind

of stuff and the novelty wore off quite quickly because well once you've seen someone once, it kind of dawned on me, you know, it's like I'm taking pictures and I think I developed the picture and of my little brother or my grandmother or my, you know, and I'm like looking at it, I'm thinking, I see her every day, why don't I want a picture of her, you know, it's I know what she looks like, my memory allows me to remember what she looks like and I see her every day, why do I want a picture

of her?

I mean I know it's not the same thing, well that's why we flushed the toilet, isn't it?

You know, it's not the same thing, I'm not connecting pictures of your loved ones with going to the toilet, I'm just saying that you don't need, I personally didn't feel the need to, okay, to have pictures and ever since that time, I've never really collected pictures as in like physical pictures, you know, but I have taken lots of pictures and stored them on the computer and then ended up deleting them or losing them or losing the computer or whatever, it's quite weird, I mean pictures I took then, the thing that I wish I had those

pictures now, that's the weird thing about it, it's not all, I mean to be fair, if I found a bottle, let's say I was in Arabia and I found a bottle and I thought, oh I want to rub that, need to rub something and I thought I should rub the bottle because, and you know, a genie popped out and said you've got three wishes, I would not wish for those photographs back, it wouldn't, that wouldn't be on the list, that's what I'm saying, so I think when I say I wish, I really wish, then you

know, it's not something I've really given a lot of thought to until now, but if I was to have those pictures, it would really just be a nostalgic-y thing, you know, no other reason really and I remember I had a picture of, I've had other people take pictures of me, you know, when I was a kid and growing up and and I went to the children's home where I used to live for a couple of years when I was little and up to the age of just before seven and I went there when I was,

how old was I, I think I was 21 or 20, 21, 20, something like that and I visited and this is in Southend, a place called Nazareth House and it's now run, it was run by nuns, Catholic nuns and now it's, I think it's like a residential home or like a place for elderly people to live, I think, it used to be, I think they're knocking it down as well, it's a big white house, big, big place and it, you know, when you're little, things seem big and then when you get bigger, you think, oh,

it's not as big as I remember but this place is as big as I remember, it's huge, even as an adult, it's big but I'm sure things like the bed I slept in wouldn't be, feel as big as it did then because, you know, I'm bigger and I'm physically so I wouldn't be able to maneuver my body around in the same way that I possibly did when I was five and it's possibly lower down because I can't imagine beds for five-year-olds, wouldn't be quite as high up as a bed for an adult, I'm guessing, unless,

I mean, bunk beds I suppose would be, wouldn't they?

I mean, they're even more higher than ones for adults so I went to this children's home because, kind of for nostalgic reasons and I was gonna ask if I could have a look around just to see what it was like, you know, and I think they were an elderly old people's home then because they stopped being a children's home in, I think, about 1988 or something and this was about 91, 1991, when I was, yeah, very, very young and I couldn't believe it because a nun, would a nun answer the door?

I wasn't surprised at that because the place is run by nuns and the chances of a baker answering the door would have been probably quite unlikely or someone on stilts dressed as a clown, I mean, that's very unlikely but a nun, so someone with a nun costume came, knocked on the door, answered the door rather, and you know what? I said to her, I used to live here and she said, yeah, I remember. I said, nah, you don't remember, how can you remember me?

I told her my name and I said, I just wonder if you had any pictures of me when I was living here and she said, oh yeah, and I thought she was blagging it, I did, I thought she was going to kind of pull out, not a rabbit out of a hat or anything like that but I thought she was going to come back maybe with a big photo album and say, yeah, it's in here somewhere and I'd have to spend the next six hours looking through it, although to be fair, I'd love that, to

have a look at the pictures of my old friends and people, kids that I lived with and stuff and anyway, she came back to the, I was inside, I don't think she left me on the doorstep, she invited me in and she came back and she showed me, she handed me some pictures of me and my brothers, I couldn't believe it, it's like, wow, she actually did remember me and do you know how some people look the same as what they did when they were young?

A good example of this is, I say it's the same, obviously not physically, like bodily wise but facially and one person would be, what's her name, she was in ET, not Elliot but the girl in ET and she's now probably in her 40s and she's got exactly the same face as she had when she was six or whatever age she was in that film, exactly, it's Drew Barrymore, exactly the same face I'm not saying she has, of course we've all got the same face apart from those that have face, you know, surgery and stuff but

what I mean is she looks the same, she's got exactly the same facial features as she had then, when I was little I had lots of freckles and I had big hair, curly, I don't think I looked the same facially as I did back then, I did used to have a beard so I suppose there's that but I didn't have glasses, the glasses have kind of grown as I've got older, they first started developing on my face when probably 2013 and then I woke up one day and thought what's that, what's that on my face

and it was just, it was like someone drew something on my face but in the shape of glasses, that's strange and then as the months went past and you know that it turned into sort of like plastic and into this actual spectacles that are on my face now, it's like permanently attached, it's really weird so yeah it's that's why I'm worried about my back, I don't want to start growing a wheelchair or anything because I've got problems with my back, I need to get into the gym and start stretching it and getting it to be

a bit stronger so I had these photographs from the nun and I think it was Cornelius her name was, I remember that but then isn't wasn't Cornelius a name from Planet of the Apes so I might have modelled that one up, the reason being is I was in a couple of children's homes, one was in I think yeah one was indefinitely in Newcastle and I get a little muddled up between which one was which, which was problematic when I was traveling to school but I you know I'd be walking to school saying am I in

Newcastle, am I in Southend, my brothers would just say stop being so silly you know where you live and I remember I was watching Planet of the Apes with one of the care workers because she wasn't a nun but she worked there and she there's a few of them and she was lovely and she I was watching yeah watching Planet of the Apes I think it was on Sunday afternoon and she was tickling me and I couldn't see I was like trying to tell her stop but I wanted to continue but also wanted her to

stop you know kind of it was yeah that kind of like oh stop but don't stop but oh and I just honestly it's probably the the most I laughed most I'd laughed you know I don't know if I've ever laughed that much since it was just so hilarious the way she was tickling me and then a while it's really like a happy memory you know from childhood and Planet of the Apes was on and there was they were all at battle on horses and shooting arrows at each other and stuff and and I was on

the floor laughing my head off sort of kind of worked out all right in the end it's only a film and it's only a movie it's not real at least I don't think it was and I had those pictures and I brought them home with me to London so I lived in London at the time I spent most of my 20s well all of my 20s not most of my 20s from the age of 18 to 21 no from the age of 18 to 31 I spent in London and I oh I'm just seeing something

on telly and yeah so in I took these pictures back home I just couldn't believe that there was pictures of me that young you know but it was nice but I lost the pictures long away because I've moved around so much and been in so many different houses and rooms and stuff over the years that I just lost a lot of my belongings so that was one of the things that I lost was the pictures of me in that place but I'm sure I have this memory of being in the newspaper when I was in

that home I think there was a celebrity visited or something and we got to but all of me and the other kids got to be photographed and I don't know who the celebrity was though and I probably didn't know at the time either but it was exciting because somebody was coming to visit and we were in the paper so that was that was my first uh I suppose that was my first introduction into show business really and I have been in the paper a few times uh twice well once I'm not going to mention about

because it was part of something else it had nothing to do with me but unfortunately I wasn't mentioned in it but uh and there's another time I mentioned I've already talked about before when I was I did a comedy gig and someone came along and interviewed me and stuff but I was also in the paper in 2006 when I was doing had a free chronic pain service in my area and I used to visit people and one of the people that I visited was an elderly chap and he had arthritis and I started visiting him

once a week in his home and he was progressively getting more freedom of movement better sleep less pain and all that stuff so he was like really happy with me visiting and I decided to uh you know the contacted the paper and said do you want to I don't know how it happened but anyway the paper wanted to interview me so I said well why don't you come to my client's house and then you can just watch me do what I do with him so that's what she did and she came with a photographer obviously

I got the permission of the gentleman that I was seeing first and he was okay with it and she interviewed me interviewed him took some pictures and then I spent I don't know half an hour talking to him you know doing my stuff and it's a really positive article I think it's it was a full page I think there's also they had um at the top of the page look into my eyes or something like that and the picture of just my eyes that was on the front of the page of the paper I've still

got it in my somewhere it's still got it it's really weird though you know with newspapers I rarely look at this paper but it's deteriorating you may say yeah it was 13 years ago which is true but I didn't expect it to deteriorate because it's not out in the open it's you know kind of pretty much sealed up in inside a a briefcase but I don't want it to deteriorate completely because it's something I'm quite pleased about the only thing I'm not pleased about not the only thing I mean you know if you if I

had to make a list of things I'm not pleased about that probably wouldn't even be in the top hundred but I wasn't best pleased in the photographs that they took but I was going through a bald stage um proper bald I used to shave my shave my head to the bone and I was in a for some some reason they don't even ask me why I was going through a phase of wearing white and I was slimmer back then than I am now but I wasn't slim and I was doing a bit of exercise and

I had some weights and stuff so but I wasn't like doing proper exercise or anything a bit of running now and then and but for some reason during that summer I was just walking around in quite tight clothes I had Sondre running but I don't know why I was wearing that kind of clothes but and they did a close-up of me and I looked awful in fact I showed the newspaper clipping to a friend and they said which one's the client which one's the old man now was it me or was it the old man

it's like that's a bit rude but it was a real close you know what not everybody looks great close up and I really didn't on that day I was just it was invasive it was an invasive photograph you know I think I look better from a distance maybe the other side of the road or perhaps in a different town but you know from a distance I think I look all right close up not not not so much I've got a video cam well it's a camera but it's and I'm going to be using a bit

more talking about not taking photographs but I like taking photographs of Andre I love taking photographs I mean I don't know if you've noticed but he is pretty much my world and between him and making these recordings that's the the two things that are most important to me in my life and I also like to share him I like to post pictures of him or maybe videos of him because other people get the joy enjoyment as well because he is he's just so beautiful and he's so cheeky and and it's lovely to watch when he's

like in action or when he's posed he doesn't really pose for picture because he doesn't sit still long enough so what I'm planning to do is now the weather's starting to become nice again I'm going to start maybe taking pictures of him taking him out with me and then just if I take enough pictures I'll get a few ones that are nice and also because it's sunny you know it'll be the summer the brightness of being outside means a picture will be really good I know I could do it on my phone but this this

camera is a really good camera and it can film for about 30 minutes as well film but it's I don't make I don't take I don't really do much filming these days of myself as much as I used to which is a bit annoying because that's what I got the camera for and because I knew I was limited to you know I couldn't make long videos so that's why I got this this iPhone but I don't make take much in the way videos anymore maybe I should I don't know it's uh I don't think I

think people that listen to my recordings may be surprised just how handsome I am I'm sorry about that that was my laptop I tried to put it on to mute when I remember but sometimes I forget and when I get a notification or something it do do do do do like that gives me a little sound which is mildly annoying so I was um I don't know maybe I'll make some videos I was thinking about doing some courses you know some I don't know I'm just I've always I'd like there's so much I'd like to

do but it's time isn't it it's to you know it's I'd like to try and explain it it's difficult to explain how much time this stuff takes to do because it's not just about talking for an hour or for 20 minutes or whatever depending on the recording I'm doing there's all the stuff after that to do the you know a bit of editing uploading sharing sharing sharing different places it's you know that takes quite a bit of time um and then I'm also in the process at this moment of building the letmeboytosleep.com website and if

you go on there it's already built you can say well what there's nothing to do there's nothing you need to do but there's a lot going on in the background that you don't realize because I'm using WordPress for the website and so I'm doing quite a few bits I've got a a blog that I'm building and it's going to have all of the recordings I've ever made so you can kind of search through them by date also there will be if you look at the letmeboytosleep.com website at the top of each page maybe not each

page but the pages where the embedded players are you can search by the month so you know January to September 2018 there's a player that you can go on to and then there's February to no January to October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 January 2019 December no February February 2019 March 2019 and April 2019 so you can kind of click on whichever one you want and there'll be a player listing all of those recordings that you can listen to you know so you know it's

just a bit easier as well as that I'm as I said I'm building a blog which has got the individual session which you can go to as well so you know you can go to the date and it will tell you and it'll give you whatever I've recorded on that date and then you can leave a comment or you know just tell me how great I am just or might just be but you might want to say something honest like how how boring it is it's nice because it's supposed to be boring although I suppose

it's not always a compliment is it someone says oh you're boring I thought today as I was walking Andre around the block and I thought you know what I'd like to do I'd like to make a book or write a book for children or adult not adults children yeah children maybe teens as well and give them a little bit of I don't know kind of my advice when it comes to things like bullying and just just general things I thought would be quite good but at the same time it probably I'm not sure if the

parents would like it as some of the advice might not be quite what they'd want so I don't know I just there was no guide you know when I was a kid there was no guide there's no what how do you deal with having spots how do you deal with the changing rooms having to have showers and how do you do you know I mean just just those kind of things like social social issues and you know with me it wasn't until really I got to probably much but 99 yeah not not not not in

age but when I was about 99 not when it was about 19 no 1997 onwards I started to learn some social some social skills and it sounds funny but you know I was in a position where I was around people quite a lot and I learned how to not be quite as reactive and how to sort of put on a social socially acceptable demeanor and then in 2001 I went into sales and I worked in sales for quite a while and again it was sort of not uh I suppose like a mask kind of but

it's not I don't like really like that term so much but uh or persona maybe but you know if you do sales you need to be really friendly and that's the most important thing I think for me would be to be but also genuine at the same time so you need to kind of fake genuine genuinity genuinity what's the right word there genuine genuinity genuine genuine anyway you gotta you gotta fake being real although it wasn't really fake because I don't know I suppose I kind of meant it at the time but I learned how

to sort of fit in it wasn't easy and it didn't always work but I learned how to sort of fit in with society and in a way and I think doing sales was quite good for that because you know I was talking to hundreds of people every week on the phone you know with the aim of getting them to give me their debit card details for you know or their credit card to pay for the insurance so I don't know it was uh it was a big learning experience but I was really good at it

eventually I was awful when I first started doing insurance so I had a job selling mobile phone contracts in a call center and that was phoning out that was cold calling and I was really good at that and but I didn't really enjoy the cold calling part but I don't know I can't remember it's a while back but then I got a job in like a really big insurance company and I was awful I was really really awful at it I wasn't awful at the talking bit I've always been able to talk but I was

with the computer system and taking the correct information asking the right questions at the right time and having the knowledge and the correct knowledge to answer the questions took me quite a while to learn all that stuff and the I told the man in the interview I had two interviews before I actually was given the job there and I said to him I'm really good at what I do but it takes me a while to learn it don't expect me to be at the top straight away but I will be at the top and he

wasn't going to give me a job because of my age because I was 31 then which I'm 48 now so that was when I was young but and I lived up to what they said what I said because I really was rubbish for quite a while and then so I started in September 2001 it was I think September the 9th or September the 10th and I was doing you know I was in training for two weeks or three weeks learning about insurance and it wasn't the most interesting subject and so is I should do a

recording about insurance yeah I should anyway then I went into working on the floor you know doing taking calls and by October so October November December by December I was getting my head around it so it did take quite a while and I was but I was still learning but I got a lot of help from the people around me they're really good I got a lot of help and the people I worked with were great and then January I started to improve February I started to get better this was 2002 March April I was

at the top or near the top of the board like second or third and it was alternate sometimes I'd be at the top sometimes I'd be second onwards from that you know from kind of April onwards but it's amazing it took took a few months quite a few months to get there but I knew I would and then it dawns on me the other day I thought you know what considering enough what I had four I worked in three different insurance companies thanks for that Andre thanks for that loud sneeze it's really what I needed

I'd love to tell you what happened what happened last week but I can't I'll tell you it was full of full-on action it was ridiculous some of the stuff that happened um don't know what day it was when was it Wednesday Thursday Wednesday night Andre's now on my lap biting me sniffing my crotch which is a little bit weird but I'm used to it now you're right baby you're beautiful can you hear him giving me kisses I love you mate at least you're not sticky anymore staring at me for what oh okay you want to

get off now is that enough now I um yeah I was thinking the other day let's have a quick drink by the way I forgot to mention hello Bex and Lou is it Louie or is it Lulu anyway I've done it now and she was it okay I had three yeah I had these three sales jobs yeah I'm not using those sales skills to sell what I'm doing it's strange you know I'm not you know because I used to be really like I'd constantly be trying to push you know I'd be I was told once

I was like a like a dog with a bone you know once I just couldn't give up it wasn't because I was to push you or anything it's just because I was I suppose passionate about what I was doing I wanted to be really good at what I did and I wanted to and also I worked for companies that were good I knew the product was good so therefore I felt like I was helping people and if I feel like I'm helping someone then it's it's a win-win isn't it really but for some reason I

put no effort in selling what I do here you know promoted stuff and I've I've just let everything grow organically due to popularity or usefulness I suppose would be another way people listen to I provide because it helps them sleep or you know whatever it is that the session's for but I'm not I haven't used any of my sales techniques to try and get people to you know support what I do and to help to cover the costs of the service that I offer and I was thinking well if I want to turn this into

some kind of a job into you know a career I need to start thinking businessy but I'm not sure if I remember how to it's weird because I remember what is his name well quite a few I like to listen to interviews with really successful people successful business people and a few of them have said and Steve Jobs said this as well is you need to ask for what you want and you will get it ask the people ask somebody but I've not really found things to be like that or maybe I've not been able

to do it I don't know or ask or feel confident enough to do that I don't know so maybe I need to change my stance as to what I do maybe yeah possibly I don't know can you imagine if I start doing these recordings and talking really quickly and being like yeah you can invest in the service that'd be weird wouldn't it the thing is against everybody else's kind of opinions I've always said it has to be free it's a free service and for 13 years people have been asking why is it free you know

if you've got one dollar for every person that listens to your recordings you'd you'd be rich and like okay but you know sometimes when I get a message from someone telling me that what I'm doing actually helps them I actually feel quite rich in that moment it's a lovely feeling anyway the good thing about this is no one's listening right now because you'll all be bored to sleep so I can say anything I'm gonna start talking about the Smurfs I always fancied Papa Smurf that's my confession of the day it was the beard no I

didn't I'm gonna go if you are still awake just post the words Papa Smurf in the comments which means I didn't send you to sleep oh I hope I did because this has got to be boring it's been a boring recording each recording is boring it's got its own merit of boringness and I'm gonna go now and I'll see you next time bye