#121 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (31st March 2019)

Hello and welcome to LetMeBoreYouToSleep.com My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes and if you're watching or listening on YouTube please subscribe and like if you like and if you would like to support this free service you can go to paypal.me forward slash jason newland and make a donation and the link is also on all of the all of my websites different places my my main website is still jasonnewland.com that's kind of the hub but i've got a special i mentioned it yesterday but a new podcast specifically just for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep

so it's a website and you can still listen at all the regular places Spotify, iHeartRadio, iTunes Stitcher, i don't know you know different places and Spreaker of course which is and SoundCloud yeah i'm everywhere i'm all over the place and that's it i think as far as the introduction goes it's just to let you know roughly to you know because it's a sleep recording you know i would

have thought that telling people at the beginning to only listen when you can safely close your eyes would be and like putting a warning on a peanut butter jar may contain nuts you know it's just seems like a silly thing to do but i do it anyway because you know i don't want to get i just just want to make sure everyone's safe really it was you know so many different variations of that that i could say you know don't listen when you're using heavy machinery don't use when you're driving don't you so i thought

actually it's pretty much don't use it when you're using your vision because you wouldn't be driving if you had your eyes closed you wouldn't be operating a helicopter or a train with your eyes closed at least you shouldn't be you shouldn't be driving a train with your eyes closed or digging a ditch or you know organizing traffic or if you're a lollipop lady or man you shouldn't be you shouldn't have your eyes closed doing that and of course you can blink because i suppose technically we've all got our eyes closed whatever we're doing because we're

blinking aren't we at certain times and now i'm aware of the blinking i'm doing but i wasn't before that it's uh the power of speech and wow now i'm aware of my feet because i'm now looking at them whoa so instead of going through a list of every single possible thing that you might be doing whilst listening to this i kind of managed to come up with and listen when you can safely close your eyes it pretty much covers everything of course uh you know who knows i mean perhaps i don't know i mean people

close their eyes when they skydive perhaps a little bit but i probably wouldn't want something to send you to sleep but i i very much doubt that my voice would be able to send you to sleep when you travel traveling thousands of miles towards the the ground i think it would keep you awake uh that would i think i'd uh that would be a battle i may lose which is good so the clock's gone forward about 37 minutes ago so instead of being 127 and 22 seconds it's now 237 and 28 seconds that's how long

it took me took six seconds the six seconds went past just in that short period between um the gap really between saying those two words those two sentences yet the other day i was waiting for a bus and it was 20 20 minutes to wait lasted about an hour i was watching the time because there was a clock on this big screen and i thought i know what i'll do i'll close my eyes because i do close my eyes at weird times but i was standing waiting for a bus so ideally you wouldn't really want

to be listening to this when you are standing up in case you fell asleep standing up but i don't imagine there's that many people that are able to fall asleep standing up but there might be but i can't cover everything i mean i can't you know i can't put uh it'd just be rude wouldn't it if i just put a if i said a message you know please don't listen to this if you're stupid you know that that'd be rude so that's why i try and cover it with you know only listen when you can

safely close your eyes um and i was counting a minute in my head like you know one two three four five and i went all the way to 60 and i opened my eyes and the clock had still not turned over and i didn't i wasn't counting quickly i was it did um what was the old saying is it one huckleberry fin two huckleberry fin or was it one raspberry flan two raspberry flans three raspberry flans four raspberry flans five well and that can't give you a second because just one isn't enough but there needs

to be a gap unless you stretch the one out so instead of one two three it's like one but not too much though it's not like one two three not that because it sounds a bit it sounds a bit mantra kind of mentric kind of the thing is even if i'd have done it at that speed whilst waiting for the bus the minutes still wouldn't have been up honestly time just went really slowly and i thought you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna hypnotize my brain i'm gonna try to use a bit of time

distortion and you know by using some kind of techniques and thinking about things and you know imagining standing in the queue of a bank with only 10 minutes left of my lunch break and knowing that i have to get back to work in 10 minutes time and it's a it's a nine minute walk and i've still got four people in front of me and i need to go i need to get to the bank i need to do what i need to do because it's important but i also need to get back to work and

i'm just staring and you look i'm looking at the clock and the clock's doing exactly the opposite to what it was at the bus stop and it's like going and you could see it just going around really quickly and there was a you know there's an old lady having a good old chat come for a chat put a chair and everything just to sit in i'm just chatting about the good old days like okay and there's another person brought in about six thousand pounds worth of two pence pieces it's like oh great and they opened

another cashier and i thought okay we'll get the queue we'll go down now and the person walks up to them and says yeah i was wondering if you could tell me a bit about your business banking oh no no no it's not what i want and the time was going by so quick so i thought if i did this if i tried to get my mind into that zone i could then speed up time so that i experienced time whilst waiting for the bus the same way as i was waiting in that queue of the

bank as it was going quickly because i needed to get it done and i needed to get back to work and i started thinking about something else and i think someone asked me some spare change or something i don't know and i just got distracted and thought about other things but yeah i was a really thinking about doing that i thought i'd get my mind you know wrapped around the idea of that clock that that mentality that state of mind where time really does go quickly so the clocks went forward you know 44 minutes ago

and and well 44 minutes 45 minutes and two three seconds five six seven seconds eight nine ten 13 14 15 16 17 19 20 so that's quite quick isn't it i'm sure the seconds don't normally go that quickly because i'm reading it off the screen on the telly it's on it's on mute so it's 30 seconds 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 yeah when i was going one two three four you know

which is kind of half the speed got to 60 the clock still not gone past a minute so it's as if my television is at a different speed and it might be some kind of time distortion because i'm talking about it and now it seems to be going really quick isn't that weird oh dear oh dear i've been going to bed about four o'clock in the morning but it's not even two o'clock yet not really not in real real terms so it's thrown me all asunder i don't know what to do it's uh mother's day

tomorrow i don't know if it's the same everywhere but in in england it is mothering sunday and and i was watching this article on the news on television and they were saying that now out of all the occasions where the adverts try to get us to spend money after christmas mother's day is the second most profitable day for businesses it's the second most amount of money that's spent on an event you know on a like a day of celebration above easter and the thing is in reality it's not though is it i don't know because

if a family you know it's if it's someone's a mother chances are the family they'll be spending a lot more money on birthday presents for each of the people then on mother's day i'm guessing but what about father's day i don't know when that is but apparently this doesn't come close to being as popular so yeah we don't have thanksgiving in england and so i'm guessing in america america thanksgiving i don't know i know thanksgiving is in november i kind of understand the point of it but what i don't know i know that you know

it's a like a family get together and it's a big celebration in america probably as big as as christmas possibly as far as the day up again i don't know but i don't know do you give each other presents isn't it weird i don't know i honestly don't know and i don't know why i'm getting so excited about it i'm actually getting really interested in not knowing something i'm getting little spine tingles of excitement which i don't normally get wow i wonder why i don't know that oh wait a minute oh yeah it's because i

don't care that's right i forgot i don't care i don't care i just but i want to care it's more interesting to care but i don't really i'm kind of interested but i'm not you know so i wonder do you get presents wrapped up and you give it to each other or is it more about thanking each other for i don't know do you thank each other for what you've done so thank you for mowing the lawn last wednesday maybe you read a big list out of things that you are thankful for for other people

that what they've done thank you for not leaning against the wall when i painted it back in august thank you for flushing the toilet this morning and after i'd been in there because i forgot because i was in such a rush to get to work but thank you for flushing it afterwards and also thanks for reminding me how you needed to flush it and i thank i'm thankful for the whole experience because it it gave us something to talk about yeah a list of thankful things what would i be thankful for what would i be

thankful for now or would it be what would i be thankful for like forever you know not forever but not always feel thankful about it but what have i been thankful for in the past i suppose there's little things i'm thankful to the internet because the internet has given me an opportunity to i suppose to reach the outside world and to be me so that could have rhymed if i'd missed out the outside world so the internet to me has given me the opportunity to be me but then that's the same as me the first

bit unless i call it the internet-y the internet yeah anyway i get an opportunity to be the boring chatty person that i am without having to edit myself without having to be concerned about being judged or having to explain myself or having to fit in with all the rules and the society and or having to be pretend to be something that i'm not and i realize that those things are you know sometimes really important in order to get on with life and to fit in with society but doing this stuff these recordings and i might

not be right i might not be but i like to think that the regular listeners are kind of accepting towards me and you sort of welcome my what i've always kind of classed as well possibly a little bit weird i always felt weird but i don't feel weird at this moment i feel weird when i'm trying not to be myself because my natural self isn't sweary or aggressive or you know but i can be like that well we all can i suppose but my natural self is relaxed and calm and light i'd like to just

play around and be cheeky maybe and like to just have a little bit of fun maybe maybe it's just verbal fun but it's not always that easy i think to be like that you know opportunity just to be you and i think that's partly a benefit of maybe being in a relationship like a romantic relationship maybe you know i suppose if you're sleeping in a bed with somebody and you're breathing in each other's farts daily you'll you know you you get to know the person and you get to kind of just be yourself hopefully eventually

and just relax into it and i kind of didn't want to conform but i did want to conform at the same time because what conforming gave me is money if i conformed i could have girlfriends uh somewhere to live food you know just uh kind of a mild amount of respect from others but not conforming not as like a root i i kind of not as a rebellious thing but there's a kind of i suppose letting the mask slip a bit sometimes you know at work i kind of forget what i was and i'd say

something and i get told off like oh you can't say that no i can't believe he just said that and sometimes it's just honesty you know i'd be talking about myself and just say something but it's like oh that's too personal put your trousers back on you know just that general kind of things never liked interviews i think it's what would i write down if i was thankful so that's probably the first thing i said i'd be thankful for the opportunity to i suppose be able to make these boring recordings because i probably say that

they're the things i enjoy making the most and i didn't think i would to be honest because i thought oh this is gonna this is really gonna be boring which it is at times really really boring and whatever level of boredom you think i may have reached i can i can increase thousand fold i know how to go i i know that i can be the most boring person on the planet if i choose to be i know how to i know how to do it but i'm not sure if i go too too deep

into the boringness i worry that i might not come out the other end i just i might just fall asleep and just i just don't want to stay like that i don't want to wake up and be in that state of boredom like a real boring you know where i'm walking up to people and just talking at them about just random things that have no interest to the person and that's what being boring is really it's it's not talking about boring subjects it's just talking about something that the other people find is boring that's what

a boring person is they're not not necessarily a boring person because when they're around other people that are interested in what they're interested in they'll probably be classed as an exciting person so i kind of know what it feels like to be on both sides of that tennis court because the only things i like talking about is well many me but the things that i like and that would depend on the day you know the other day i would have talked to you about the walking dead television show but i don't talk about that stuff

you know because i forgot about it and just but it's something that i would have probably wanted to discuss if i was having a two-way conversation then i'd pick a subject if what if i could pick a subject i'd pick a subject that was interesting to me which i think is kind of normal really it's just standard stuff but other times i might not be that interested in talking about a television program i might want to talk about shoes and because i need to get a pair of shoes and i bought some shoes for a

lady a couple of weeks back who sells the big issue and she's homeless so i bought her some shoes because it was cold it was raining and her shoes all had holes in them so and in case you're thinking i'm saying that just to to show off how generous and charitable i am you're right that is exactly the only reason i'm talking about it because i want to be held up in high esteem by the world and i would like to get a nobel peace prize for buying a pair of shoes that's my aim it's

been my golden life for a long long time and you may say that how how how is buying a pair of shoes going to cause world peace well my answer to that would be has anybody that's won the peace prize caused world peace and you can argue that one you say oh no you're true so but i'm not comparing myself to gandhi i don't know why there's a pause there i'm just not it's it's quite weird i don't know if you know but i watched gandhi back in what 84 1984 in case you think i'm

talking about 1784 oh 1784 i remember that version of gandhi that was great that was yes it was uh okay it was on stage though because there's no television back then plus he hadn't been born um no 17 18 1984 19 or might it might have been 1982 but for some reason i'm pretty sure it wasn't 1983 isn't it weird that sometimes if you like think of a date it might not be like a specific date as in the 4th of november it might be a year and i think oh it's like oh that i'm

sure yeah it wasn't 83 you know it's like no that doesn't sound right like 1983 doesn't sound right for the film gandhi but it might be i'm pretty sure it's not earlier than 1980 but i think it was about 1984 but it might be 82 but i'm pretty sure it's not 83 i don't think it's after 84 because it was a long time ago i mean gandhi did quite well didn't he he won was he got the nobel peace prize plus he won an oscar so i think he's the only person that had won both

of those and what else what's weird is there was a film called it had ray winston in it and he was a gangster living in spain and this was in the 90s this film was probably late 90s pretty pretty something oh sexy beast a film called sexy beast with ray winstone and i don't know if you know who ray winstone is but he's he's a famous actor he's he's like a legend in england he's a legend actor he's like um but much loved over here and he's kind of like in the same the same league

as sort of bob hoskins kind of been around for quite a while he's i mean ray winstone he's been around since he was a teenager like making films and he's now probably in his i'm guessing he's older than me probably why not that much so he's got to be in his 50s and so he's been around for 40 over 40 years well over 50 years because he's in his 50s but he's i think he was in a film um called ball storm or something and that was in 19 in the early 80s or something and

he was i think was about 17 at the time he was really slim back then i mean he's a big bloke now but he was he was slim but he was young and the thing is about i think when you're young well not not everybody obviously um it's not not all elephants can swim you know there's going to be the odd one isn't there they're like oh god oh no i love the way they hold on to each other's tails and trunks like that's going to make a blind bit of difference if one of them

sinks but it's optimistic isn't it i wonder if elephants do float though there's got to be quite a bit of air inside their tummies because they are big and water retention and water on top of water floats also fat on top of water floats because if you put if you get a tub of lard like literally a tub of lard i'm not talking about a person i'm talking about a tub literally i don't know where you get tubs tubs of lard from but you can get cubes of lard and they're kind of wrapped up in

it's like this paper but it's not really paper it's like stalk sb was one or that i think it was lard or that's butter but this lard that you use maybe for cooking baking and stuff but it's in a special kind of grease grease paper which i don't know i don't know why again i'm getting excited about grease paper so that's two things i'm getting like really nostalgic-y and kind of excited like grease paper and earlier you know thanksgiving do you give do you give presents on thanksgiving i'm getting a rush of euphoria that's weird

so what's it talking about oh yeah films so gray windstone was he was slim he was very slim i was slim when i was at school see i think i think i was premature that's a problem i've had all all throughout life in different ways but i i was i think i was born born too soon and i was very little both my older brothers were a lot bigger than me and they were older than me but they would be bigger because they were older but but they were bigger i mean in comparison to what

i was when i was when they were my age so i'll give an example so when i was 10 my oldest my older brother of two years older he was bigger than me because he was 12 but when he was 10 he was bigger than i was not because i was eight but i'm saying at the same time if you if you put a 10 year old version of me next to a 10 year old version of my older brother the one that was two years older than me he was bigger than me it's bigger

stronger broader you know uh just bigger and if you'd have got my oldest brother who was four years older than me and got him at the age of 10 he was probably slimmer not slim but he was not slimmer than me but he was taller i think when you're tall you look sometimes you look slimmer when you're taller so he was a lot taller than i was and he was taller than my other brother at 10 so our tallest brother is over six foot i'm five foot eight and probably my uh my two years older

brother was probably about six foot and the other one's probably six two or six three or something uh maybe i don't know i've never measured them i'll be honest i tried to a few times but they kept waking up um so i was it wasn't just a height thing i was just really little like i had i was very slim and i do i refer to myself as being skinny back then and i know not everybody likes the word and i kind of don't care because i'm referring to myself but i really was underweight but

i was eating you know i used to have a well i say i was eating and to be fair i didn't always like my packed lunch and i prefer to eat sweets yeah so perhaps but i always had a cooked meal in the evening always had a couple of cooked meals at like you know during the at the weekends like lunchtime and evening as well i always had breakfast so you know i didn't i didn't go without or anything but i just it's not like i put more either i just just didn't put weight on

and i stayed really really really slim for a long long time long time and it got to the point where actually i tried to put weight on so you hear the you're gonna hear the um you're gonna hear the chair squeak a little bit because i need to scratch my left buttock that's better it's quite weird my left buttock feels you know you get that dirty itch sometimes if i haven't kind of washed for a bit and i kind of oh i need to change my underpants and it's that just itch of just uh it's

like please just wash me yeah but that wasn't because i've had a bath today so that wasn't a dirty itch that was just a maybe it's a sweaty itch i don't know just an itch maybe i shouldn't look too much into it but i used to be really slim and even when when i was like 14 and 15 i was doing karate i was training hard every day i was training absolutely loved it for the just loving what i was doing but i couldn't put i could put muscle i did put muscle on but i

didn't put any weight on i'm still like eight and a half stone and i didn't have any any fat on me at all it was just all muscle you know when i took my top off it was like i was this little i was just quite muscular but what it really looked like i used to look in the mirror and think i look like Bruce Lee and some would say you know how can you look chinese but it wasn't about that it was about the the muscles it was you know and and the reality really

is if you go online and look up the most muscular child you know i've not it's not something that i've looked up but it's something that was in the news like years and years ago and there was this like eight year old kid that was just muscular that's probably what i look like i look like a little child with muscles i didn't look like a 14 or 15 year old so it's probably a little weird i remember once i was standing outside my door of my room my bedroom and there was a mirror on the

other side of the wall and i was posing doing like my bodybuilding poses and for some reason it looked better from a distance but i was doing it and i was grunting and i was i was like doing the have you seen bodybuilders you on stage you know if you want to know what i looked like just watch pumping iron you know i was very much but without the muscles and i didn't realize my brother was behind me not not actually behind me because i'd seen him in the mirror wouldn't i but he was like

on the stairs like laughing at me i was very i was nearly embarrassed but it's hard to get embarrassed with your brothers when you've seen each other every day for 15 16 years and you've spent time in the bath with them you know when you're younger and you've slept in the same bed has done at certain times and it's hard to actually you can embarrass each other in front of other people but you can't embarrass each other between yourselves because you kind of know so much about each other because you've just seen the person grow

up which is quite amazing but so i think about that sometimes think about the just think about things i'd like to i wanted to put weight on so it wasn't because i wanted to be and have a big tummy like i've got now you know at no point was i sitting at home reading my bodybuilder magazines thinking yeah i want to look like that that bloke from little britain i want to have a big big belly and like i didn't expect to ever have that but my dad's a big man you know not he's just

very stocky and he's got a belly on him but he's strong stronger than anything and he always had a bit of a belly just you know just the way he's kind of born that way it's basically his baby belly he just kind of kept um i shouldn't say that but he i didn't expect to end up with the same kind of body type as him because i really didn't have that shape body when i was a kid you know i was like growing up i was just so slim and when i was 16 and i

started earning no 15 i started earning money because i left school when i was 15 and i started working full-time straight away and i started eating a bodybuilder's diet until he found out and then i kind of had to buy my own food and i started i got this book called optimum health or the optimum bodybuilder's diet or something like that and you know it's kind of like eating eggs having omelette uh every morning and lots of salad fruit vegetables you know poultry dairy production it's kind of just vitamins alfalfa and kelp with one particular

mixture that's supposed to be good for producing muscle growth and also i used to take like the protein drinks you know ones you kind of mix yourself so yeah i was really into it i couldn't put an ounce on seriously couldn't put any weight on at all just didn't work and then gradually i put a little bit of weight on as i kind of got a little bit older and i think the biggest jump was when i went on antidepressants into 1995 i put about a stone on i went up to about 10 stone or

maybe yeah because i was walking around about nine stone maybe nine and a half before that but that extra stone or half a stone really made a difference to the way i felt and i put yeah i was like wow and i was able to sort of when i was doing security in 1996 1997 i put weight on because at one time i was just sitting on my bum all night long for about 14 15 hours a day six days a week and i remember my friend who i lived with he said your bum's getting

big and i was like i didn't enjoy hearing that i'll be honest with you i'm sure he didn't mean it in a hurtful way but you know when you do what you can you do what you can you've got mirrors you can you can do with what you can see i can't see my bum i can't see it i don't know what it looks like i've never seen my bum ever i'm hoping to lose weight off my belly so i can start seeing other parts that i haven't seen for a long time it's like telling

on your bum's a bit big it's like but kevin oh i wasn't happy well what was that about why are you telling me i've got a big bum for he said well you have i said yeah but you know you don't walk around just making statements about everything you see he said yeah but your bum's in the way of the television i said it's not in the way of the television i was lying down on the floor watching television he was trying to make out that he couldn't see the screen because of my big bum

wobbling which is a lie it's not the television wasn't flat on the floor you know the yeah standing up like a normal television you know off the floor you know head height if you're sitting in a chair i think he was just trying to wind me up there's not really any end to that story but i just i feel i'd let it go now i've been holding that in for what 24 years oh oh so therapeutic i wonder what else is in there let's open another door i managed to put away on so i think

i went up to about 11 11 and a half stone at that time but it really was the case if i was still slim because as soon as i stopped doing that job i lost the weight and i went back to being about 10 stone so it really was a case of just a lack of doing anything a lack of exercise and i like to do quite a bit of exercise because i live i live around the corner from yeah after 96 well 96 onwards really kind of i live around the corner from a gym

and this gym so i used to go in i used to go past this gym for years right and even with friends on the way to work and stuff and we'd look in the window and there would be a picture of this bodybuilder and it was a cardboard cutout and it was about i don't know four six four seven maybe under five foot anyway about five foot tall this cardboard cut out and it's like the most muscular man you'll ever see absolutely huge bodybuilder but like really short like really kind of compact i thought obviously

took the picture and then kind of made it smaller so they could fit into the window and i used to walk past that gym and think i'll go in there one day but it'll be too expensive and but it turned out it wasn't it wasn't that expensive i just paid as i went paid a fiver or four pound every time and i'd go in a couple of times a week and i became good friends with well good friends became friendly with Wilf who's the owner of the gym and his name was Wilf Sylvester you can

google him if you want he's uh if you're still awake he's he was a Mr Universe i think twice and he worked for the Ford Motor Company in Dagenham and they sponsored him and they let him go and you know go to Cape Town or wherever the Mr Universe contest was and did let him have like you know a few weeks off work to go and do that and he was a bit of a like a local national hero for a while but he was Mr Universe in maybe the late 70s or early 80s something

like that like it's a long time ago i met him in like 96 and he yeah so he'd been there's like 20 years before that he was Mr Universe but i met him and he was this he was the size of the cardboard cut out see i notice people that are short because i'm not particularly tall so when i meet someone that's because i'm used to meeting people that are taller than me when i meet someone that's shorter than me like a man i notice it more it's just like i think if someone's really tall

they're gonna notice it when they meet someone that's taller than them so if someone's like six foot five and you meet someone that's six foot nine you're gonna be like wow really gonna stand out for you isn't it um i know that i'm not like majorly short but i'm five eight so that's short for a man depending on what part of the world you live of course because apparently we've got different spine lengths and different types of the world different parts if i was i don't know yeah i think in some parts like russia i

think the men sort of a much taller average than the men in england i think that's a safe thing it's it's not always the same but it's i think statistically i think it's uh they're just taller i seem to be taller and um you know i won't talk any more about different parts of the world because there's a lot of generalization goes into that isn't there but apparently there's some places where i perhaps wouldn't be seem as short as i don't always feel short because it's only a it's not a lot of difference between five

eight and probably average is about five ten you know just under six there's only a couple of inches between me and the average but you know we also we all know two inches is a hell of a lot sometimes and it could really make a difference so i i notice it when i meet someone that's a lot shorter than me and he was but i'll tell you something their muscles you know i've never ever met in my life uh someone that's won mr universe you know ever that's the first time as far as i know

i've met i've seen bodybuilders you know occasionally it's hard not to see them because they're huge and they stand out and they which is probably why they do what they do because they want to stand out and be looked at and good luck to them because they worked hard for it but this uh will sylvester he was just he was short but he was wide and he's he had statistically he's really big into statistics today i think he had the largest bicep of any bold bodybuilder in history in his category because he was in a

much lower weight than sort of arnold um was because they had like the low weights i don't know if there's how many different weight classes there were but he was in a much yeah because it was a lot lighter and and maybe they had a weight for short different section of people on the five foot i don't think and he might be more than five foot but he was he was definitely quite a bit shorter than me but he was so funny and he was from the caribbean i think and he was brilliant to be

around honestly i used to chat to him and he was part of the i went back to the gym really to go because i could have gone to a different gym i suppose although his warden was near me so it's i was kind of being lazy but you know it's what for me you know if you go into a gym and you see someone that's a former mr universe that's a superstar you know in bodybuilding terms mr olympia mr universe that's superstar and that's the heights of physical perfection as far as bodybuilders go and he

was just like a regular man he had retired from working at ford's his dream was to own a gym and that's what he did he owned he got a gym and he was a local celebrity as i said he's in the papers and stuff and much loved he's such a lovely person seriously and we used to yeah he just like always there to help you know he didn't he wasn't in it to make any money just in it to help it was lovely and he also had a punch bag in the gym as well which

is good because i like punch bags and i saw him boxing it you know punching it once and i thought whoa you know those muscles they're strong that's one heck of a strong body i don't know how old he was at that time probably he must have been in his 50s i mean maybe yeah i'd imagine he'd be in his early 50s maybe late 40s but early 50s maybe later he looked young but it's hard to tell kind of what age he was but i imagine he was in his 50s he had grown up children

and i was in my late well like middle 20s 26 27 yeah so yeah he probably had about 25 years on me i'd say but yeah it was nice i liked him a lot and i used to see him even when i stopped going to the gym he'd be outside the gym and i'd walk past and have a quick have a little chat with him you know see how he's getting on and that i'd be on my way to work or whatever yeah sometimes he'd be talking to someone else and i'd say hello sometimes i'd

wave he didn't see me so i'd walk around the block again hoping that this time he would see me if that didn't happen maybe just stop and do my shoelaces up in the middle of whoever he's talking with so he had to see me but you know just normal stuff but i wanted to put weight on just it's weird i got my wish and i kind of don't want that anymore so i don't really want this weight anymore i want to be young and fruity and juicy and slim you know like i used to be

and young and juicy and fruity and slim but it's really it's basically i had this period of time when i think it was 2000 2000 probably 99 maybe 2000 probably 99 actually yeah 99 and i really worked out hard i did a lot of training physical training and my body was good it was probably the best my body's been you know muscular i was wearing tight tops and it worked you know i still wasn't heavy i still was probably no more than 10 stone or 10 and a half stone probably 10 stone yeah so i

wasn't that but i was buff if that's the right word and it didn't last long because i didn't really stick to it but you know i was my friend kevin wouldn't have told me i got a big bum then but yeah i was really i was really quite pleased with how my body was kind of looking with clothes on anyway and because people can't see the cactus on my back when i'm not clothes on so and then i yeah as i got older a few things happened and yeah now i'm i don't know how much

i weigh now just under 100 kilos that sounds heavy doesn't it 100 kilos you want to lift be able to lift it 100 kilos so whatever that is but i think i am losing weight because about a month ago i was just over 100 kilos two weeks after that i was 200 kilo i was 100 kilos and then a few days ago i was just under like one one kilo less i'd lost a kilo in two weeks something like that so 100 more weeks and i'll i'll be down to nothing be good so i've lost

a bit of weight i think it's just maybe the seasonal thing now we're getting into summer i don't need the i'm a bit like a walrus really i don't need the extra blubber to keep me warm so uh andre's the same he's lost a bit of weight he's quite slim at the moment he doesn't need that extra you know even though he doesn't really hibernate but it's still a natural thing for animals that would normally live in the wild to sort of put a bit of weight on you know ready for the winter just a

bit of reserve i've got the extra reserve i'm like a reserve park so yeah i kind of i'd like to slim down just the only bit really is my stomach the rest is i don't know i mean i'm not sure about my bum maybe i need to give my friend a call see if he'll go on skype and i'll show me bum see if it's big or not i don't know he's the only one would probably tell me not something you can really ask somebody is it just you know on the bus oh but excuse

me it might be sort of a weird question but is my bum big i mean if they say which one then you know you're in trouble they say which buttock they're better buttocks aren't individual bums anyway on that sensible note i should say goodbye because we've gone over the 60 minute mark and hopefully you've fallen asleep through boredom and that's another successful event completed blah blah blah blah blah but yeah check out Ray Winston it's very good um there was a point to what i'm saying there but i've lost it now i've forgotten but uh

take care bye