#123 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (3rd April 2019)

Hello and welcome to LetMeBoreYouToSleep.com My name is Jason Newland, this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I think it's 123, episode 123 I think. So the point of this really is to just be boring, I suppose.

And I'm very lucky because it doesn't take any effort on my part. In fact, I can talk to you about the things that I'm most excited about and it'll still bore you to sleep. So it's my little superpower.

I told a friend the other day about how the sleep sessions, the podcasts that I have, this one, also the DeepSleepWhisper.com, that's a podcast which is the Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis sessions, that's really popular. And I've got a few other sleep podcasts as well. So I'd say probably 80%, maybe 70 to 80% of my audience listen to the sleep sessions.

And my friend knows that when I started this 13 years ago, it was all about chronic pain relief. And then I kind of moved into relaxation and people asked me, can you do some sleep sessions? So I did, and they became the most popular videos I did. I've still banged away at the other stuff as well.

Done a few courses, pain stuff, stopped smoking stuff. And I told my friend about these Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings and he was laughing. Because it's like, I'll just say this, I didn't realise how boring I was until I started doing these.

And so I think his laugh kind of gave something away, because I've known him for 28 years. So I think he kind of was sort of agreeing with me, that I am incredibly boring, which was on one level supportive, on another level, I suppose insulting, I don't know. Depends which way you look at it.

So thank you to everybody for supporting what I do. By listening. Because ultimately if no one listened, there'd be no point in me doing this stuff.

Oh, someone's outside banging away. It's the rubbish day in the morning. Well, it's the morning now, but it's a rubbish day.

And people usually, well they put their rubbish out. That was a boring sentence. It's rubbish day and people put their rubbish out.

The washing up need doing, so I did the washing up. So yeah, that's the kind of stuff you get here. It's really good.

And so thank you for listening. Also, you could support me more if you like what I do. You can perhaps share these recordings with other people that may benefit.

Maybe share it on Facebook, Twitter, whatever social network that you kind of go on. Let more people, let me annoy more people. You can actually tell them, you know, this is really, I know he says the title is boring.

Let me bore you to sleep, but it's really, really interesting. And then they could listen and you can laugh at them. Another way you can support me is by helping me to finance this free service.

It costs me over £100 a month with the podcast, websites and all that stuff. So if you'd like to support me, you can go to paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland. And the link is on the podcast, the link is on the, my main website, jasonnewland.com. The last session I did, I read the first chapter of a book that's about 7000 years old.

And I'm not going to read anything today, but I will be revisiting that book maybe in the next session. Because I just can't be bothered really. It's, I'm very lazy.

Until I was up really late last night. I mean, I'm up during the night normally, but this was half seven in the morning before I went to bed. And the reason for it was because I was making an image for the podcast.

I started it on, is it Canva? So I started making and designing it on Canva, which is a free image designer, logo maker, whatever. And I was using the tablet to do it. Which is why I've got the tablet with the idea of making, doing some art stuff and making some designs.

Well, when I uploaded it, I spent ages making this, uploaded it, looked really good on the screen. Uploaded it or downloaded it and then uploaded it to the podcast. And the image is way too small, which is really not big enough.

And it wasn't very clear, it was fuzzy. So I don't know what was going on. When I tried to change the size of the image, it just distorted it.

So I had to go back to using the laptop. And I used, was it Photoshop? I don't know what it is, but I've got, I think it's Photoshop anyway. So I've got a few software stuff.

I've got like Video Studio, Sonic, Music Maker, Photoshop, I think it's Photoshop. I've got another thing for drawing. Yeah, so this one, I made an image.

And I started off with the correct dimensions, which is 1400 pixels times by 1400 pixels. Which is pretty much the standard size for a podcast that's accepted on iTunes. Now my podcast is already on iTunes, so it's not going to really make a difference.

It just means that the picture will be rubbish. Which is not what I wanted. I wanted the opposite to that.

And the reason I wanted to change the image is because I put a lot of work into this podcast over the last week. It sounds like I'm showing off there. Like I'm really bragging.

I really put a lot of work. But I have. Basically what I did, this podcast is still going to be available everywhere it's always been.

You know, it's still on Spotify, iTunes, Radio FM, Stitcher, you name it, Podbean. It's just, you know, it's all over the place. iHeartRadio as well.

And what I was thinking is I'm going to have a domain name. Because I've already had a domain name for this before, a year ago, when I first started it. And I thought, hmm, because I let that run out and I didn't redeem it or whatever.

The actual domain name. So I thought, okay. What I'm going to do is I'm going to buy.

Well, first of all, I paid for Podbean, an account on Podbean. Where I get unlimited audio uploads. Unlimited bandwidth.

So it doesn't matter how many people download. For something like $14 a month. And I basically just reopened the old podcast that I had.

And I had something like 40 episodes on it. From before. So that's, I don't know how many months, it's probably September time, maybe.

It's hard to work out. Maybe August last year. So a big black squeaky chair.

And it's really weird that I'll probably do my hips one day. Just creaky, a bit creaky body. Although it won't be so big because I have lost weight.

I weighed myself last week. I think it was Thursday. It was just after five o'clock.

Because I went to see someone at four o'clock. The appointment. It went on until about four minutes past five.

So near the toilet, because I went to the toilet as well. There's a scale. And every time I go there, I weigh myself.

I said weigh, not we. I weighed myself. Just to kind of get an idea, you know, where I am.

I was a hundred kilos. Then I put one kilo on. Probably before the beginning of the year.

So I got weighed at the beginning of the year in January probably. Maybe February. I was a hundred and one kilos.

And probably four weeks ago, I went down to a hundred kilos. And last week I was 99 kilos. So I was quite pleased.

So yeah, I might be just preparing for the summer. I don't know what it is. But there was a reason why I mentioned that.

And I don't know what it is. Ah well. So I got the podcast.

And it's on Podbean. They are a good host. They're very easy to use.

And although my Spreaker podcast, the RSS feed from that, is already on Podbean. And I asked, I actually contacted them and said can't you just link the two together to save me uploading. Because the RSS feed automatically updates every 24 hours.

And the lady said, no, you can't. I said, why not? Because we don't offer that service. I said, yeah, but it's not like I'm, you offer that free.

So I can upload, I can not upload, but I submitted my RSS feed to the podcast. So Podbean then promotes it on their thing, but doesn't take up any of their room. But they promote it on their podcast, on their service.

And I said, yeah, but, and it's free. I said, but I'm still happy to pay the $14 a month. It just means I won't be taking up any of your space.

You know, however many gigabytes it is. Because I suppose every session maybe takes up anything up to 100 megabytes, probably less than that though. I don't know.

But not a huge amount, but it's going to be a good 60 to 100 megabytes probably for an hour of audio. So, you know, every week that's, you know, probably a gigabyte, just about less. And I'm limited to 10 gigabytes a month, even though it's unlimited, but that's their fair use policy.

So I had to contact them because they blocked me as well, because I'd updated, I'd uploaded too much stuff. Because I actually got three podcasts. I also got one for the Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis sessions.

So I got a podcast, and I got them all separate. Paid them separately, different email for each one, all that stuff. And yeah, they said that I'd uploaded too much.

It's not my fault that I've got so much stuff. I've had that problem in the past. Because I've got, you know, nearly a thousand hours of audio.

If I join a new podcast host, that's too much for them. They don't, you know, I tried to explain, say, well, it's not, I'm not going to upload a thousand hours every week. It's just the back catalog.

And then I say, no, no, that doesn't matter because it's too much. I say, yeah, but it's not every, it's just the back catalog. Well, how much are you going to be uploading in the future then? I said, I don't know, maybe a few gigabytes a week.

A few gigabytes a week, that's a lot for a podcast. Yeah, but I produce a lot of stuff. It's still a lot.

Yeah, I know, but I produce a lot of stuff, you know. Most people only do maybe one or two podcasts a week. How come you do so many? I just get slow.

The thing is, I've got different audiences, you know. I've got audiences that listen to these, audiences listen to the whisper stuff, people that like the relaxation stuff. And about three people that like the pain relief stuff.

So, you know, it's... Anyway, I've got the podcast for this one, for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep. And it doesn't take ages to set up, but there is a fair bit of time involved. And because I've done it before, I kind of know where I'm going.

And I've used pretty much every podcast service there is, pretty much nearly every web host service there is over the years. So I'm fairly okay in how to use them, including like WordPress. I used to use Moonfruit, which was one of the ones I used for quite a while.

But then they'd become very limited, became very limited. And I used to build my own websites in HTML code in the early days. Back in 2000 and... Between 2000 and 2005, I built websites using just code.

And then I started using the online stuff, the online website hosts, the ones that you could, you know, the website builders, you could build it online. I kind of wish I hadn't now, because it made me lazy. And I've forgotten a lot of the code stuff.

I know how to read code, not all code, but like HTML, basic website stuff. So I'm going to the code part and find bits that I want to kind of find where things are. But yeah, I don't, I'm not... Yeah, I could put a basic website together with a little bit of Googling, just to sort of remind me what's what, you know, the code for links and... But you know, it's quite, a lot of it is quite easy.

But I devoted, I devoted nearly two years solid to it. And between 2000 and 2001, that kind of period, really spent a lot of time learning how to build websites. It was a passion, I was proper passionate about it.

It's weird, but I just loved it. I think it was, I don't know, something about the code, something about creating something out of nothing. Maybe creating, creating something out of chaos, maybe, because it does look a bit chaotic.

Or maybe it's the opposite to that. Maybe actually the code is the opposite to chaos. It's neat, it's precise, it's, it works the same every time.

So maybe it might look chaotic by looking at a stream of numbers and hyphens. But actually, it's very, very precise. And the thing is, in a sense, it's very mathematical, but I never, I've never, I never enjoyed mathematics when I was a young'un.

I did some website training online, actually. I think it was a year or two years ago, or beginning of last year. And I was learning to use, I forget what program it was, but I was learning to use some software that I'd not used before.

And I was quite enjoying it, actually. And then they started going about, started using maths to figure out what, especially I was making an image of a snowman and trying to work out the measurements of each snowman, you know, because it was like, what's it, one ball for the head, or one like snowball for the head, one big snowball for the body. It was basically circles.

So one circle for the head, one circle for the body. And then there was two circles for the eyes. And then there was the sphere shape for the mouth.

And I think a circle or something for the nose. And there was the long bits for the arms. And it was, but it wasn't just about making the images and just turning it into an animation as well, which it was fun, but it was, I kind of, I don't know, I don't want to get too distracted away from this stuff.

Although I wasn't doing these at that time, wasn't doing these, let me bore you to sleep. But I do want to go back online and do more courses. I just, I was hoping, I suppose, that the website side of things would just start to run itself.

So that all I had to do was just make the recordings, do the basic, you know, very basic editing, uploading, sharing on social networks, and then just leaving it alone. And maybe answering any questions I get, because I get a few messages a week. And just not really, you know, not having to, not that I have to, but I do get a little bit caught up with websites.

I'm just making changes and trying to make them a bit more nicer. But with this podcast, it's a very, very basic podcast. I've got a choice of different themes.

And I chose a basic one because I just want it to be a podcast. I don't want to fill it with anything else other than just the latest recording and a list of other recordings before that. So you've got access to everything on there, all 122 or 123 recordings.

And you just choose the one you want and play it. And that's it. Or download it.

So it's, that's kind of what I wanted. But at the same time, I wanted the, and I might still, I might still do this, because all I wanted was all of the recordings on my podcast to play the advert at the beginning. Because if I get enough people listening and I get enough plays of those adverts, and the advert is only at the beginning, it's not during or at the end, that it could raise some revenue to cover the costs of the free service.

And in the future, maybe even to the point of earning a living out of this. But I'd need, I'd need about 100,000 listeners a day, I think, for me to earn a living. So that's quite a lot.

Quite a lot. And even then it'd be, yeah, I might get away with 50,000 a day. But at the moment, I don't know how much it works out.

It's over a thousand a day I get listeners across all of the Spreaker podcasts that are shared among all the different other podcast hosts or directors. So I've got, I'll give you this year so far, the stats for the Spreaker podcasts. Bearing in mind I've also got SoundCloud, which is on its own.

So I've got January this year, 26,258 downloads. February this year, 31,534 downloads. And March this year, last month, 39,158 downloads.

So I'm expecting April this month, we're now to, I don't know, probably be about getting on to 50,000, I suppose, yeah. That would make sense, wouldn't it? So yeah, it's going up five, six, 8,000. Yeah, so I'm supposing that this April we should get about 50,000 downloads.

As long as I'm at 100,000 by the end of the year, a month, you know, I'll be fairly happy. But, even though it sounds quite a lot, kind of, it's still a tiny amount to what I need in order to I suppose, it sounds weird to make this a career, you know, I'm 48 years old. If I was going to have a career, I should have kind of had one by now, but I did train to be a counsellor, and I got a degree in counselling.

And I did that, I finished in 2010. And, you know, I was self-employed as a counsellor. But the, we had all the government cuts and I was working for charities, that's where I was getting my work.

And they just lost so much of their funding. So my career ended pretty much within three years of starting. So, I'm thinking maybe why not have the thing that I've been doing the longest as my career.

Hypnosis and this kind of stuff has been in my life for over 20 years now. And, 21 years in fact. It was 1998 when I first got involved in hypnosis.

And, it's 13 years since I started doing these recordings online. So yeah, maybe it's time. And I figured I was working it out how much money I've spent.

Not begrudgingly, because I'm happy. You know, I'll gladly give everything for this. But I've spent well over £20,000 during that time.

Well over. So it's, there was a time I had a little bit of money coming in from YouTube. But that was again, that was from the videos.

But that was many, many years back when I was self-employed. But that was all part of the self-employed income, you know. So it kind of went together with that.

Yeah. So this new podcast, there was three, there's now two. Because I've gone back to Shopify for my main website.

jasonnewland.com So the third, this, yeah, this pod been, so this, I've got, I actually transferred all the sessions from the Spreaker via the RSS feed. And, but it didn't, it didn't take all of them. So I had to upload some myself.

So that was a bit of a pain. And then I had to, well, I needed to buy the domain name, which I did. The LetMeBuyToSleep.com I'd already bought it before, as I said, it ran out.

I bought it, paid for it for a year. I did something that probably no one else would do. It said next to the domain name that I chose 99 pence for the year and then 16 pound next year.

So I paid for it. Then when it came up, it was £9.99 and I still paid for it. So I ended up paying £9, yeah, £9.99 for the year.

And that's not a lot for the year. But I still ended up paying for the two domain names. Also the DeepSleepWhisper.com So that was £9.99 as well.

So it was like, oh, what? So yeah, so I got those two domain names and I had to link them up with podcasts, which I did wrong. I completely did it wrong and I was waiting the next day and it still wasn't connected. And the next day it still wasn't connected.

Six years later, I'm like, oh, what's going on? Turns out I hadn't done it properly. So I went back, did it correctly and everything was connected very quickly. And so it's kind of worked out all right.

So I had them both kind of running at the same time, you know, going in and out of each podcast to make corrections and to change the settings and to get the design correctly and to, you know, all that stuff. And then I started looking at the picture of the podcast, the one I had before. I've had a few different ones, but this, the recent one was blue.

And although it was very clear, it's still quite small. And I thought, because I was looking through the Podbean podcasts, like the other people that had podcasts, they all had nice pictures, all had nice graphics or just a nice clean picture and mine just looked, I don't know, didn't like it anymore. Plus it had jasonnewland.com on it and now the podcast has got its own name, its own identity.

So what I thought, I suppose this is like jasonnewland.com's baby. Isn't it? So jasonnewland.com's had two babies, deepsleepwhisper.com and letmeboydesleep.com. And they're the two little babies that have had enough success on their own to just fly away and, you know, make their own life in the world. And I started looking at the logo, the picture on the podcast.

So that's what I did last night. I just thought, I've been thinking about it all week, but I just couldn't be bothered. Because I just, I'm okay once I start.

It's a bit like making love. It's like I can't get bothered, but I'm not so bad once I start going. You know, get into the rhythm and that.

And then hopefully finish before the adverts finish. The, the making the picture, I did it on Canva, didn't work out. Went onto the laptop, opened up, that's how I think it's Photoshop.

One of those that you can make images and stuff. And I ended up, it took ages because I had to, because I hadn't used it for so long. I had to relearn some of the stuff.

That I already knew, but I'd forgotten. Plus I was learning new things. You know, that software, like any other software, I think it's the case of the more time you spend playing around on it, the more stuff you get to know.

And it's, you just get to know stuff, you get to know how to use it. It's like years ago, back in 2005, yeah, probably November 2000, no, December 2005, and then through 2006 and to, I think like June, June 2007, I had a job in a call centre. It was a train in the background.

But I was, I was using spreadsheets, like Excel. Never really used them before. I think I had, but not, had I? I might have done a little bit in 2004 or 2003, but not for quite a while.

And it was like, ooh, you know, because it wasn't just filling in the spreadsheets, it was all setting up the code, setting up the what do they call it? Not recipe. A certain word they call it. So you can set up something so it's like, it calculates specific things.

Not recipe. What was it? Oh, I forget. I got to the point where I was a little whiz on the spreadsheet because I was using it all day, every day.

For a year, you know, over a year and a half. So I suppose it's the same with if I did the same on Photoshop. I'd just get used to it and I'd be, become quite accustomed to all the different little bits that I can do, but it took hours, hours and hours and hours.

It even got to the point because what I do during the night, if I'm on the website, or if I'm doing stuff on the website, quite often I listen to the radio on my phone. So it's a little bit quieter than being on the TV. So I listen to LBC, radio station, and I'll be, you know, doing, uploading stuff or working on something.

Well, that's what I was doing and then at some point I must have turned the phone off or turned it, you know, turned the radio off and I spent the next two hours focusing completely on the image that I was designing. I forgot to turn the radio back on. Before I knew it, it was like gone seven o'clock in the morning.

It's like, wow. Well, I was happy at the end. I messed up a few times and I had to redo stuff.

But I was happy with the image at the end. And I uploaded it to Facebook and then I uploaded it, added it to the podcast on Podbean. Yeah, and then I added it onto the Spreek podcast, which is the main podcast, which is also then connected to iTunes and all that stuff.

And then I went to bed. I really needed to go to bed but I just needed to finish it as well, you know. It was just dragging.

It wasn't dragging on but it was quite intensive. And then today I woke up and there's quite a lot to do but I'll wait until tomorrow before I do it. So I did.

And I basically needed to change the image on all the sessions on my Spreek podcast over to the new one. Then I needed to do exactly the same thing. I didn't realise until I looked at it.

I needed to change the image podcast episode of the Podbean podcast. And then I also realised that I needed to change the episodes on the SoundCloud podcast which I haven't done all of those yet. I've done all the ones on the Spreaker, done all the ones on Podbean.

It's just so much make one little change and then it's a case of having to follow those changes around and readjust everything. It's just sometimes it feels like splashing a tiny little bit of red paint on the wall and instead of removing that paint I just think I have to paint the whole of the room red just to cover it up. It's a probably a really bad analogy but yeah.

So I got my bills in today. I got I paid £50 off my what was I doing?

I paid £50 off my electric and gas bill I've not even received it yet but I paid £50 off it already because I've got the just go online and pay so that will be a reduced rate when I actually get it through in the next week or so and I paid £20 towards my water bill that I haven't had but I'll be getting that in the next week or so and I've been trying to do that every now and then put a bit of money you know pay the bill before I get it so the

water bill I probably paid £80 or maybe probably £70 at least £60 over the last three months towards the water bill so when it does come in I'll only have to pay maybe £15 £10 £20 maybe so that was alright next week I might pay another £50 towards electric and gas and even if it does come through I might not pay it all off just wait and see it's just sometimes easier to instead of paying £200 all in one go and leaving myself with you know very little money it's better just to pay it a

little bit off at a time as long as I get it all I think that's all that matters as long as I don't get too far behind I was pleased with the Spreaker podcast stats I know it's probably a bit boring to hear it which is fine because that's what this is about isn't it it's about the progress you think January 26,258 March 39,000 and that's what I jump in 13,000 just in more a month I think I think the overall Spreaker podcast since November I think it was the last week of October I think

last year it's now 90 is it 93,000 downloads with about 12,000 plays so what I'm looking forward to I'm really looking forward to the 1 million mark it will just be a buzz I've never seen a million on anything that I've done so far the most I've ever seen on any of my stats was the 500,000 on YouTube on one of my channels I had 500,000 plays and I'd love to see a million not on YouTube but on the podcast I think it would be so cool you know overall I mean you think 100,000 I'm

just thinking if it's if it goes up by another 50,000 this month so it'll be 150,000 let's say and then 60,000 in May so that's 150 210,000 so let's say 70,000 in June so that's 280,000 290,000 I'm losing track here 290,000 304,000 what was it June April, May, June, July, August April, May, June June is the 6th month isn't it so June, July, 6th so if I've got April 50 150,000 so that's 150,000 250,000 yeah I should reach I suppose 500,000 by the end of this year I guess unless I up the ante and make

more sessions you know the audience grows at a bigger rate but I'm just looking forward to the million mark never had a million of anything and to have a million listens a million downloads a million plays or whatever that would be really cool I'd be be happy with that I had 200,000 plays on my SoundCloud the one before the one I've got now on that podcast the one I've got now I've got about 50,000 I think that kind of plods away on its own you know I'll get maybe a thousand plays a week sometimes 800

sometimes more you know it depends so it kind of as I said it's got its own audience it is on iTunes as well and it's on a few podcast directories the free was it Jason Newland's free hypnosis or free hypnosis service but it's the I think with Spreaker it's the the amount of podcasts that they share with the amount of podcast hosts that they share with that gets the audience you know the thing is I'm not even I'm surprised that I do have a you know Spotify audience but that's not my biggest audience which surprises

me I thought it would because it's kind of become the biggest music I don't know what the right term is player or provider of streamed music in the world I think it's hasn't it overtaken iTunes?

I'm not sure I know iTunes was the leader of the pack for a long long time but Spotify seems to be the the place but I'm not even sure how it works out because I think with Spotify stats for something to be classed as a download or a play I think you have to have something like five five downloads for it to class as one or something like that so I don't know I'm hoping it grows I mean with Spotify you just search search Let Me Bore You To Sleep I think there's an old podcast

on there from you know that had maybe eleven or twenty the first podcasts but there is one on there which is that gets updated which is the new you know has all of the recordings I did try and go through them actually on my website I'm not sure if I've got them on there so I've gone through all the different podcasts but I found it on Spotify but I didn't find it by Googling Let Me Bore You To Sleep Spotify nothing came up but when I went onto the Spotify app on the actual laptop I

found it the thing is with Spotify is they download they download the recordings and even if you close the podcast the audios are still available to listen to and that's the only one I think that does that all of the other podcast directories all they do is they read the feed the RSS feed and you can submit the feed to let's say Stitcher but if you delete your podcast your podcast will still come up on Stitcher but none of the tracks will play because the RSS feed is disconnected because it doesn't exist anymore but with

Spotify what they seem to do is they download everything straight away so when you when it gets accepted onto their podcasts into their directory they download all of the episodes so they're available to play regardless of whether you continue doing them I'm not even sure how you'd get them removed to be fair but they do seem to update as well so I'm a little bit confused on how Spotify stats come into being and even the podcasts don't seem to really know but yeah it doesn't really matter I suppose all that matters is all that matters

is I'm boring your socks off so that you just drifted off to sleep and there's it's kind of like an hour of no content I think that's the the power of this an hour of absolute nothing well I'm just talking about stuff to be honest with you today I decided I was going to give you a very very detailed description of this room that I'm in I may have done it before I'm not going to do it tonight but I might do it yeah also what I thought about doing is taking you on a walk

maybe going to the park or I don't know you know getting, having the microphone on my lapel and just talking or maybe yeah finding a way of doing it so it doesn't look like I'm talking to myself so yeah it might yeah I thought it might be nice to have just to be in a different place and do it you know and I could then describe to you everything that I see everything that I hear you know what I'm feeling I can just go through all those different things which might be mildly boring no one

ever says that today when they're about to talk by the way this might be mildly boring I think I'm probably the only person I've ever known to tell people that what I'm about to say is possibly going to be really boring and I think people appreciate it I do a lot of people I tell they laugh when I say it by the way I'm going to I'm going to tell you a story but it's going to be a bit boring so I sometimes ask people for permission as well if I tell you something just warn

you now it's going to be really boring and tedious and they think I'm like joking and then I start talking and then their eyes glaze over I'm going to tell you this now because hopefully you're asleep a sales technique I used to use a sales technique a long time ago back in 2001 2002 time you know when I first not when I first but you know when I got into sales one of my sales one of my sales techniques when somebody first thing I say because I used to quote car insurance and I say to

people so shall we get that sale done what was your card number that would be my first attempt at the sale I'd always ask for the business that's the difference between people in sales the ones that basically are average and the ones that are no good at the job is the ones that are no good at the job don't ask for the sale they might be brilliant at every other aspect of the job but you need to sell stuff if that's your job you have to ask for the sale this is turning into a seminar

so I ask for the credit card number sometimes they'd laugh sometimes they'd say that's a bit presumptuous sometimes they'd say okay here it is sometimes what I would say actually is do you want to pay do you want to pay by card or do you want to do you want to do our Derek Debit or do you want to just do it on the card now that's another little sales thing you know closer that I'd use if the person said no or I don't want it or I need to think about it or you know

anything that was anything other than yes really and I'd start talking to them and it wasn't intentional it just came about kind of I would bore them into submission I would talk and I'd make them laugh I'd make them tell them stories I'd just you know say silly things but I'd keep them on the phone and then they'd get so bored that they would just say sometimes people would just start laughing so I'd give up here's the card number because I'd go into a long winded discussion about how great the insurance was about all the

adverts we have it was a good company I wouldn't have said that if it wasn't it was one of the best companies to work for to get insurance with so I wouldn't have lied I didn't lie I just focused on all the good bits and I would talk and I would talk and I would talk and I'd get them involved as well but I would talk and eventually they would just you know 20 probably 25% of the people I spoke to would I'd sell to maybe 22% but it was a high percentage it varied sometimes

it was higher sometimes it was 18% sometimes it was 26% but it was a high ratio compared to most other people on the sales floor and not only did I have the highest you know out of 250 people I had the highest conversion from call to sale or quote to sale of anyone and I also had the longest phone calls out of anyone in history where some people would be on the phone for like 6, 7 minutes I'd be on there for 40, 50 minutes sometimes longer sometimes over an hour I think I did an

hour and a half once and sometimes the other people working with me would just be sitting around listening to me laughing like thinking who on earth am I talking to how am I getting away with saying that stuff but they didn't realise that I was I was good friends with a person by this time we were having fun, we were laughing with each other I wasn't laughing at them they were laughing as well and I didn't realise back then that I was doing something that was natural to me and that was just being able to

talk and be boring and just talk constantly without stuttering over my words or stumbling over my words or you know, of course there's going to be repetition of course there's going to be repetition of course there's going to be repetition but you know it's I don't know, it just seems to be something that my brain is able to do but I don't know if I would be able to do this if I had to do it you know, I think if I was if suddenly the job centre sent me to do a job where my

job was to sit here talking every day for an hour to be fair I'd probably have to do about 8 hours but to talk and just talk about nothing the creativity may not be there it's, you know, it's I suppose I'm driven to do this I'm not driven by others, I'm not not forced to do it by other people I just, yeah and I like the idea of being there from a distance kind of maybe keeping you company or, you know, just sending you to sleep and allowing you to feel safe in your own home

which is a place that you should feel safe my stomach just did a big do you ever get those internal farts?

my stomach just farted but inside itself it's weird an internal fart I had someone comment on I think it was on YouTube, I think it was on one of my sessions saying that they had a dirty itch and normally I forget what I've said normally I just talk and then it's gone and I just move on but it reminded me of that and I still actually think it's quite funny it made me laugh talking about dirty itches so yeah, it's I reckon if I did this every day for a year which is what, 365 hours

you might be able to get an hour of decent stuff out of it there might be a few little bits of I don't know, something that might be interesting to listen to so out of all the boring 365 hours of boredom you might be able to get half an hour or an hour of interesting stuff so I was thinking of maybe trying to do that but then that entails listening back to my stuff which I don't like to do it also entails me trying to figure out what's good and what's not again, how can I

do that?

the only people that can judge what's good and what's not is you, the people listening I'm not in a position to really make that judgment like, well that was good, I like that a lot how is it all the same to me? so yeah, it's maybe I just need people to send me in the bits that they like and then I can stick it all together and have like a little Christmas album yeah, I could do that, couldn't I?

if you send me the bits that you like after different sessions and then I'll really listen to it and then I can kind of cut out that bit and stick it into a special folder and then come December time I can maybe fit them all together and stick them chronologically like an album and then I can sell the album at Christmas it could be the best of or the worst of yeah, it could be the worst of yeah and then you can get the bits that annoy you like, let me make you angry and let

me maybe other times, maybe when I've talked about food say, let me make you hungry so yeah, I could do lots of different versions I'm getting excited now not really I've got this little spider just on the wall just watching it moving around doesn't seem to know what he's doing could be a girl or a boy, it's hard to tell I don't have my magnifying glass on me all right, well that's it for another oh blimey, I've gone on a bit 72 minutes that's what happens when I start talking I lose track I've thought about

doing like a really long one of these lasting for so how many, how many can I do 226, 60 120 240 so I could potentially make a 5 hour recording once a week and put it on my website for sale and that way you could listen to me for 5 hours and it'd be all new stuff every week I wouldn't be editing and putting stuff in it'd just be me talking for 5 hours I just thought actually I could do the editing, couldn't I I could take the bits out and put 5 hours together I

don't know if anyone would be interested in me doing once a week a 5 hour recording don't know if that's something that would be interesting that's a long time though isn't it I'd have to be eating and going to the toilet during that time that'd be yeah unless I just recorded it in the bath that way I could no, I'm just thinking I could do everything I need to in the bath and that's probably not right either oh anyway I don't want to be sitting on a bidet doing this I suppose I could get by

eating sandwiches you know when I have the cucumber sandwiches or something like that just to keep me going 5 hours isn't a huge amount of time maybe maybe alright then speak to you next time bye