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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I've got no idea what number it is.
I think it's 95 or something like that. I'm sitting back. I'm not really sitting back in my big black squeaky chair.
Not like all the way back. But part of the way back. So that my legs are straight.
Or the leg section is kind of straight. So my legs are up. But the back rest is still up.
Kind of. Not all the way up. But part of the way up.
Just in case you are getting fed up with this chair squeaking all the time. What was I going to say? Oh yeah. If only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.
And only watch this video if you're watching the video on YouTube or any other place where videos are there. I don't know where my videos might be embedded. Because I know some websites embed my videos into their websites.
So please only watch the videos when you can safely close your eyes. And please subscribe. I'd be really really happy.
It sounds so insincere doesn't it? Yeah I'd be really happy if you subscribe. Thank you. Doesn't sound very.
Yeah. Not so genuine. But I do mean it.
I genuinely really really mean it. I really really really genuinely care. Really care.
Yeah. Really do. See it doesn't sound.
But I do. I do. I really do.
So just to say thank you to whoever invented yawns. I need to find somewhere soundproof so that I can do these recordings and there's no background sound. And I don't have to be concerned about being really quiet.
Because the only way to avoid background sounds is to make these recordings in the middle of the night. But then I have to be quiet because I don't want to disturb the neighbours. It's kind of just the way it is at the moment.
So I'm making some new changes so hopefully the weekend, at the weekend I'm going to start I want to start doing some designs. Designing, I don't know, just making some nice designs for the video covers and for the, I don't know, the recording sessions. Make a special design for each one maybe.
Just something a bit unique. Something that I've designed myself, you know. And I do do that to a degree, you know, with the videos and stuff but I just want to do something a bit more, yeah, a bit more.
I want to put a bit more effort in on that side of things. The visual design inside which is something that I don't really know much about but I'm hoping to be introducing more of in the coming weeks. For me it's all about the overall thing because I have to do everything when it comes to this free service that I offer.
You know, making the videos, making the audios, promoting it, editing, just, you know, every single aspect of the whole thing is done by me. Apart from, you know, I don't run YouTube so I don't, you know, but I do have to upload to YouTube. I don't have to but I choose to and that's growing.
Not YouTube but my channel. It's growing very slowly but it's still, it's getting there eventually. I do hope that by the end of the year I've got a thousand subscribers.
Because it's very, it seems at the moment my, you know, the difference between the videos and the podcasts, it's very top heavy at the moment. With the podcasts, so let's say I'm getting, like yesterday, over 1,500 downloads on my podcasts. And the videos I've probably got, I don't know, not many plays, not a huge amount.
So it's just a tiny percentage of what, you know, the videos compared to the podcasts. And in the past it used to be the other way around. It used to be all about the videos and less about the podcasts.
I don't know. So I've been working on the website and trying to get the, just everything up to date and it's just taking forever. It really is just non-stop.
Some of these, I know this is a boring recording but seriously, some of the stuff that is needed to be done by me is so tedious. It's really, really tedious. I kind of prefer just to, if all I had to do was make a recording and click a button and everything else was done, I didn't have to do anything else, and then I could just do another recording.
I could do, I don't know, like six, seven, eight, ten a day sometimes. But because there's so much stuff to do once the recording's made, it's just so time consuming. Plus yesterday I was in bed all day.
I'm talking, I got up, had my breakfast and went to bed. Got up and then went to bed again until about eight o'clock in the evening. So I really had a proper sleep, I don't really know why.
Just, I felt so much better at eight when I got up. I really felt that I'd, I don't know, got the correct amount of sleep, I guess. I suppose it's just sometimes when just we need to sleep.
Perhaps need a little bit more than average for your particular circumstances, you know. How it is sometimes. So today is Valentine's Day.
Yay. It can be a weird day for some people. I probably forget about it once I've gone to bed.
You know, I'll just, unless I watch something on telly or something on the radio reminds me. About the Valentine's-ness of this period of the month. I'll probably forget.
I haven't received any, well, it's still time I suppose, but I haven't received any Valentine's cards. But the postman won't deliver probably, well, until daytime. Because it's only about half past four in the morning at the moment.
So he, I don't know what time he delivers. Afternoon time, maybe. So you never know, I might wake up to a big bunch of Valentine's cards.
Full of money. That would be nice. So yeah, I've talked about Valentine's in the past, so perhaps I won't bore you with trying to remember.
Oh yeah. Oh, I remember once I bought a Valentine's present for somebody. Get this for a weird thing.
So in 2000 there was a thing. So people on mobile phones could ring it up. And it was kind of like a precursor to, should we say, plenty of fish.
You know, some kind of dating site. Or maybe Tinder, I don't know. Oh here's a funny thing.
There was this, a female that I'd met. Got on really well with her. Hadn't seen her for a couple of months.
And I saw her profile on Tinder. So what I did is I sent her a message on Facebook. I didn't contact her on Tinder, but I sent her a message on Facebook because I figured because of her profile on Tinder, she was looking to hook up with people.
But I actually liked her, so I thought, oh, perhaps we could go out for a date. So I asked her out. She wanted to go out for a coffee.
And she said, no thanks. And it was a weird situation because I wanted to reply and say, but you are available. You're looking for complete strangers to meet up with you.
But obviously I couldn't do that. But there was a part of me thinking, you're not allowed to reject me. But you're not even fussy.
There's no logic to my thinking then. But you're not fussy, so how can you reject me? But I've not seen her since. I don't know if she's still on Tinder.
I couldn't really work it out because that's when I started getting confused. I said, is it a hook up site? Is it a romance site? Because when I've been on there and I've had messages, one woman wanted to just meet up with me. And I'll be honest, I worry about anybody, any female that wants to meet up with me, I automatically get a little bit nervous about.
I kind of just like, oh, what's going on here? This doesn't seem right. And also, she'd seen a picture of me. And she still wanted to meet up with me.
So that just seemed, yeah, the alarm bells were ringing a little bit with that. And so I just, I said, I didn't actually say it. It's hard to spell.
It's a hard word to spell. It's more of a feeling, isn't it? It's an emotion. I did go on a date on Plenty of Fish.
So I've been on Plenty of Fish a few times. When Plenty of Fish started, you could search for anybody of any age. You know, adults, obviously.
And it was just quite a nice environment, actually. And then they changed things. And they made it so that you could only contact people and look at profiles of people pretty much within the same age group.
Around the same age. And that's fine if you want to meet someone the same age. But it seemed a bit forceful of them, you know.
It's like, well, it shouldn't matter. It shouldn't really. It's about if people like each other or not.
So I put a picture of me on there. So this would be about 2012. So I'll be 2019 now.
So that's, what, eight years ago? No, seven years ago. So I'd have been 41. I was about 41 at the time.
And pretty much all of the females that contacted me were in their 50s plus. And, which is fine. It's not like a major thing.
I did cry a little bit. But it just wasn't what... It's... I don't know. It's kind of like, I don't care what someone looks like in any other situation other than when I'm romantically involved.
It's the only time. I don't care what people look like. I don't care about people's weight.
Or the colour of their hair. Or ethnicity. Is that the right word? Ethnicity? I don't care about any of that stuff.
I don't care about language. About, you know, accent. I just don't even care if you're smelly.
That sounds bad. But I don't care. I don't care if you stink.
It doesn't matter to me. I don't care if you walk around with, you know, a beehive on your head. And not just a hairstyle.
An actual beehive. It makes no difference. I'm not bothered.
You can walk around dressed as a clown. I don't care. It makes no difference to me.
I don't really feel very judgy towards people in that way. About how they look. About how tall they are.
Or how fat they are. Or how, you know, sticky out ears they might have. Like I've got sticky out ears a bit.
I just don't care. I don't even really notice that stuff. Although I do.
But I don't care about it. Unless I'm going to be getting naked with you. Then I do care.
If it's a romantic situation, then I do. It's like, I don't care what kind of cooking you do. I don't care whether you're a brilliant cook or an absolutely awful cook.
Honestly, I don't care if everything you cook burns a hole into the plate and it just falls through the table and burns a hole into the foundations of the building because the food's that bad and people's eyeballs explode whenever they even look at a dinner that you've cooked prepared or whatever. I don't care. As long as I don't have to eat it.
When I come to eat it then I'm going to care about the food and what it's going to be like. So dating to me is very much like a really really bad cook. Because I don't care about stuff.
I've got friends, female friends and because of the kind of courses that I've done like counselling, hypnosis courses, massage courses I've spent a lot of time with predominantly women on those courses which just happened to be how it was.
I'm not saying that's how it always is but that's how it was for these situations before you say men are counsellors as well yeah but predominantly females are counsellors statistically there's more female counsellors than men therapeutic counsellors and there are more female that do massage than men you know it's just the way it is um so I've been in this situation you know where we're all perhaps going out to a restaurant or you know meeting up and they'll all be like oh Joanne you look really pretty today you look really pretty oh your hair looks
lovely it's a lovely dress oh you've got a lovely dress too Lisa it's a lovely dress it's really great wonderful dress yeah lovely dress so I'll just be standing there or sitting depending on whether or not I'm sitting down or standing and sometimes I'll lean I like to lean sometimes especially in kitchens you know like kitchen units they're quite good to lean against and then I become part of the conversation I get brought into it Jason don't you think Lisa's hair looks nice Jason don't you think Joanne looks lovely tonight doesn't she look pretty doesn't
she look wonderful I don't know where the voice comes from but just and I always seem to reply the same way and it's an honest reply is I don't care how Joanne looks I don't have to have sex with her that can come out wrong it can come out wrong but it's kind of I don't care how you look it makes no difference to me you're my friend you know I'm friends with you because of your personality I'm not friends with you because of the way you dress it seems like a really weird concept to
grasp but by the way those who have just started listening this is my valentines special edition of let me bore you to sleep so I've I don't know if this makes sense though I just like I don't care and this whole thing about telling each other how wonderful you look doesn't he look smart doesn't he I remember my sister I'm not sure if it was yeah we were she was dressed and I don't know we were about to go it's either it's either a wedding or a funeral I forget but my sister said so Jason
how do I look I was like alright what do you want if you're going to do that it's pretty easy just to hand me a piece of paper with 0 to 10 I'll just choose a number tick a number tick a box because I just but on the same side though if if she would have said how do I look and she had a big bogey sticking out of her nose I would have pointed it out you perhaps need to blow your nose and get rid of that bogey because it's scaring the neighbours and just
like you know just that kind of thing or if it was spinach in her hair you know just little things like okay perhaps you need to get that spinach out of your hair how did that Mars bar get stuck to the back of your dress oh yeah it was me I forgot so yeah it's very for me it feels like I'm the one that's not being superficial because I'm not bothered how other people look because I'm not friends with anyone I wouldn't even in a dating situation I would only date someone I was attracted to
of course but it wouldn't just be about physical attraction I've been lucky enough I've been around a long time and oh man I used to be a DJ and I met until you've been a DJ it's a different world it's a different seeing people how they behave and I met some lovely lovely people I also met some not so lovely people behaviour wise I'm sure they might be really lovely as people but not that evening and it's really strange to see someone that's so physically attractive but become so unattractive by the way they're acting or
the behaviour I can only talk from a female perspective because I don't sort of see men in that way so I don't I'm sure it's exactly the same goes for men and with women it's the same to see someone how they've gone from really liking them to thinking and and to maybe not be quite so intrigued by them anymore because of their particular behaviour in that situation I met some nice people but I am superficial though in some ways maybe not superficial but I've got very high standards in in some instances in some instances I've
got very high standards but there are quite a few examples which I will not tell you which would very much contradict my high standards statement so yeah I won't tell you about those situations but I haven't always lived up to this high standards idea of myself that I seem to hold but I think we're all similar aren't we in the sense that we like certain things see I it might sound weird, I like voices there's a few things I like in in a woman I like the voice I'm very, I'm an auditory person, I won't
limit myself but I'm very I'm visual to the perspective you know I can see and and I do like I suppose when it comes to women again I don't want to sort of categorise someone by body parts because I don't I used to when I was like a teenager and but I did a lot of things when I was a teenager that I don't do anymore like one of the things that I haven't done for a long time that I did when I was a teenager was mistake a Vicks VapoRub for Vaseline thinking that I'd
grabbed a big chunk of Vaseline out of the jar in the bathroom, the family bathroom at the age of 14 gone upstairs all you would have heard from a distance was the door closed and then a very very loud yell so yeah I won't go into that but yeah there's a lot of things that I used to do that I don't do anymore I'd say I'm still quite childish in some ways but more but in some ways I was more adult than others when I was a child I think always being a kind of thinker
not intelligent not sort of, I'm not an intellectual I'm not kind of an academic kind of person, I don't use big words when they're not necessary I don't see the point in using, what's the point in using a word that no one else uses that's not communication and there's a few DJs on talk radio LBC that I listen to and occasionally they'll chuck a word out that I perhaps have never heard of before never heard that word and I've been around 48 years and I've done a lot of reading and heard a lot of things
and I'm thinking okay, so chucking out a word that other people are not necessarily going to know what it means why not just use an equivalent word that other people can understand so I'm a very basic talker very basic I don't think I'll ever say a word that you can't understand ever not you but just anyone because it's just very basic, I just like basic words I don't that's why I'm not a really big fan of some of the old literature because the it seemed to be a real show off of how many different words
can I use for me it can disrupt the flow of the reading but that in a sense that might show my lack of intelligence, I don't know because reading wise I always class myself as being equal pretty much to anyone else at school I could read, I loved reading in fact and mathematics I was very very low down I was in a remedial class in maths or it used to be called the dunce class basically all they'd do is put you in a room with other people that were also classed as dunces and you'd have
no teacher you'd just be left alone to do what you want play with toys I'm talking in high school, not in junior school, in high school and so that's how I was treated for maths, just put in a room with people, with other kids who I became friends with who were disruptive didn't want to learn, refused to do anything and but English I was not in the top but I was in the middle I was in the middle of the year middle of because when I was at school when I was at school trying to
move on from being superficial oh it's just like all the other superficial men we thought he might have been a bit more nicer, a bit more nicer than that, now all he cares about is tits and bums tits and, no that's not all I care about I care about eyes as well and I like cute little noses it's not about all he cares about is the face the face, tits and bums in the face no it's more it's about so much more than that because it's so, I think if you're in a room with somebody
the smell oh he likes smelly people now, that's all he cares about is smelly people, no it's not about smelly people we've all got a smell we've all got to smell we all smell or something you know I don't mean if you don't shower or bathe, I'm talking about just the smell and there's these invisible smells are we talking about silent farts now?
no, invisible smells of is it endorphins or you know so you're in a room with someone and there's an attraction going on you're not even aware of it you don't consciously understand what the attraction is he's caught on a stick now, he doesn't understand doesn't understand anything do he doesn't understand what the attraction is I know what I like just like you said, you know what you like mate you said you don't know what you like, make your mind up tits and ass, that's all it is boobies, boobies, boobies, Mr.
Boobie Man no, what I'm saying is smell, smelly people smell, smell, but no, no stop it there's the invisible stuff even as, it can be as subliminal as I could smoke Marlborough cigarettes for example and you're I might meet a woman and her father or grandfather or some man that was very close to her perhaps used to smoke Marlborough and that smell triggers off like a instantly feeling warm and positive feelings towards me but without understanding why you know, or it could be aftershave or deodorant or you know a lot of people it could be
the eye colour it could be anything it could remind you of someone I mean if you look at Rod Stewart he's dated a lot of blonde women over the years and he kind of sort of had a type a type of woman that he liked and he ideally wanted them to stay at the same age but they didn't, so he had to keep you know replacing them but, oh here's something you might I was actually back in 1998 slash 99, I don't know I worked with somebody that was best friends with Rod Stewart's wife and
the reason they were best friends is because they were at college together they were doing some I don't know, it was a fashion course or photography course or something I don't know and she was dating Rod Stewart I think she just like just met him when they met and Rach, I think her name Rachel, her name is the lady that ended up marrying Rod yeah, so that's not a claim to fame because I've never met Rod Stewart and I've never met his wife but I was friends with one of her best friends so I'm guessing
she would have been at the wedding but it would have been a guess and even if she wasn't, you're never going to know because I might have made it up that's the wonder of these pointless let me bore you to sleep sessions is I can just talk about nothing for hours and hours you just think everyone's smelly, no I don't I don't think that look back in 2005 2005 maybe 2006 I was working in a call centre and there was this woman working there she was probably early 20s and okay this is a bit I
don't quite know what happened but she was working in a call centre she was working in sales at that point I was working in a different department but I had to go into the sales department every now and then and do some stuff and she was calling me over and she was showing me, for some reason she was showing me this catalogue of underwear that she was going to buy I think she might have asked me which one do I like best but not only that it kind of looked like she was already wearing it,
just the way she was dressed and I was very attracted to this lady but it felt more than that it felt more than just visual if that makes sense and my body reacted that's all I'm going to say, my body reacted and I quickly shuffled off downstairs and carried on with my work, I didn't do anything weird so however and this had never happened before she seemed to have noticed my reaction to her and decided to tell everybody that she worked with and trying to think how to describe if yeah there was movement I don't
know how to but it's stuck in a physiological movement that was out of my control and you know my hands were on my head I don't know if they were but just as an example it wasn't I wasn't kind of willing anything to you know in the same way as if you were making a Pepe Mache elephant trunk you're not going to will it to become hard you know it does it's own thing but it starts off soft because it's Pepe Mache and it's glue and you know paper and stuff I don't know what I'm
trying to just get at but yeah I was kind of a bit of a laughing stock for a while there but it was just a natural reaction to being around her and it was more to it wasn't just like how she looked it was like a smell there wasn't a smell oh he's talking about smelly people why is he calling her smelly just because she noticed something now he's got to call her smelly that's not fair no she wasn't smelly I'm sure she I don't even remember her smelling of anything I just I don't know
maybe I liked her voice I like voices anyway I used to be able to connect quite well with people when I did telesales and I did it for quite a few years and used to talk to people on the phone and I'd get quite a few women flirting with me on the phone because the good thing about a phone call is when they were talking to me I could be anything they wanted you know within the realm of still going to be a person sitting on the phone talking to them so it's unlikely I'm going
to be an astronaut and have a part time job as a call centre worker that would be unusual but for them I could be like 6 foot 7 blonde hair maybe long blonde wavy hair smelly so I thought I'd chuck that in I could you know I could have big long bright red fingernails who knows you know I don't I'm just saying it could be possible I could have nipple tassels but I don't no I don't I look quite I'm not talking about my nipples I'm moving on I had this I met up with someone
on plenty of fish and the reason I took interest in her is because she was the first person that contacted me that wasn't a pensioner and it's you know it's like okay that's nice well I don't care if I meet someone that's a pensioner or it doesn't make any difference just that would have to be someone that you know if I fell in love with someone that was older than me it's because of who they are and that would be different but I'm not going to purposely look for someone that's you know 90 you know
it's not it's not in my list of to do things it's not on my bucket list you know maybe when I'm 140 I might consider a 90 year old but I'm not being prejudiced against 90 year olds now no I'm not I wish I hadn't mentioned it this is a Valentine's Day special we're talking about romance and what you're talking about is boobs I haven't even mentioned that I'm talking about romance it's about love and consideration and caring kindness and that's way more important but you can get that without romance you know you can have
love and kindness and compassion without romance the romance bit is the bit that is just that's the difference that makes the difference I don't know it's been so long since I met anybody that I looked forward to meeting you know I've got a couple of friends but I don't look forward you know I see them but I don't look forward to it it's not it's not like it I know it's an old cliche but they don't complete me they're just friends I don't wanna there's no one that I wanna tell yeah I'd like to have
someone that I could tell them about my life you know I know my life is pretty boring and stuff but the things that I'm interested in other people generally don't seem to be which is why I do these recordings which is why they're so successful yeah yeah but I just it'd be nice to have someone to talk to and someone to share things with I'd like to meet someone that I'm interested in because generally I'm so self-centred personally that I'm only interested in myself and the online thing that I do it's the only thing that
I really seem to care about and I'd like to grow and expand a bit so that there's something to include another person like on a really personal level that I can be with maybe live with, marry, you know perhaps or maybe live spend time with once a week on a Saturday evening and one phone call I always thought actually my ideal relationship would be Saturday evening every Saturday evening apart from maybe boxing a boxing Saturday but then my ideal girlfriend would be a boxing fan and that'd be great and then maybe two very short phone
calls during the week perhaps one on Tuesday one on Thursday for about 10 minutes with the option of an emergency call as you know when needed, maybe once a month, by emergency I mean if you needed to talk about something emotional for no more than 12 minutes so yeah, that's what I was thinking but life doesn't seem to be like that I'm kind of, I'm like a a new age dinosaur if that makes sense really, I love technology I'm not really into it but I love it I love the technology that fits in with what
I like to do, anything that helps me do what I want I love all that stuff you know, software that will help me to make videos and to make better audios, podcasts promotion, that's the stuff that I like, anything like that but things like texting I don't like ongoing conversations with people in a texting format if I text someone I generally have a rule, a 4 text rule, if they text me, I'll text them back they'll text again and I'll text, and that text then will be the last text as far as I'm concerned if
they text back again I might not reply because I've already ended the conversation or if it's someone important a family it's not a good example of that, if it was someone important just kidding what I'll do is, especially if I think this is going to drag on to like 6 or 8 texts I can't, you know I like there to be an ending, so I'll phone them up, and I'll say right you know, because it's going to be something simple as well do you want to meet up for coffee?
ok, where do you want to meet? err, I don't know where do you want to meet? and then they reply, well I don't know, where do you want to meet? oh ok, well we'll meet at err the the Wimpy yeah, but I'm a vegetarian yeah, but I'm not yeah, but I'm a vegetarian I don't want to go somewhere where they cook meat I said, but I'm not vegetarian, so it doesn't affect me yeah, but I am a vegetarian and I don't want to go where people where they you know, they cook burgers I said, yeah, but I like burgers I said, yeah, but I don't want to go there I said, well, where do you want to go?
and you know, texts go on and on and on and on and what time, what time do you want to go? well just it's easier sometimes just to phone up and say where do you want to meet?
there, at that time alright see you later sometimes sometimes I get caught in the net caught in the net of conversation you know the conversational net which you know it can be timeless there's no time on it it's like time stops and you come out after a conversation and you've wasted an hour so what I try and do if I get caught in that conversational net with like a it can be so innocent like oh so how did you get on last week with that appointment and I start to answer, say well what happened is,
oh, and I stop myself say no no let's not use up all that conversation on the phone, otherwise we'll have nothing to talk about when we meet and I try and catch myself bye love you yeah really yeah love you by the way you look really pretty yeah lovely dress lovely trousers and you know put the phone down, well not put the phone down but press the off button and also long conversations what's weird about it is I don't want to have long conversations but I'm so chatty that I end up having long conversations because
I go so long a period without speaking to anybody that when I do I tend to be a little bit too chatty when the fact is I don't really want to talk to anyone I don't mind but I'm not that bothered that's why I do these recordings so I can just, I want to talk at people I don't want to talk with them I don't want to answer questions I just want to just blurt out whatever's in my mind about whatever I'm thinking about and then move on with my life so I'm probably not a
very good boyfriend material perhaps I'm not even a generous lover I just I just thought I'd chuck that in I don't really even care about that stuff anymore there was a time when I did I wanted to do myself to please to please the person I'm with and give them as much pleasure as possible but now it's a different attitude I just want to get it done as quick as possible so I can carry on watching television ideally get it done during the adverts that's why yeah I'm not such a fan of watching BBC because
there's no adverts on BBC there's less time for romance then if you're watching if you're streaming stuff like Netflix you can just pause so yeah so so this has been a dedication to valentines all you valentines out there all you people that have been you know received flowers and cards and chocolates and stuff and I was going to tell you a story about someone I bought a valentines gift for I'll tell you quickly it's I I assume everyone's asleep by now so I'll tell the story so it was this I met this woman I'd not
met her but I met her on a TV thing a telephone line thing it was like a dating site but before the internet well it wasn't before the internet but it was before the dating sites on the internet and it was a telephone version and it cost like a penny a minute to phone up and you'd hear you'd leave a voicemail and you'd hear other people's voicemails and you'd just respond to it if you liked the sound of them and they'd get back to you you'd be on there for hours you know well I met
quite a few women from that but there was one particular one I really got on with and I bought a valentines gift like a broach or a little hammer I don't know it was something, it was nice and she kept not answering the door I found out where she lived I didn't find out I didn't follow her from work she told me where she lived I used to send her letters, she'd send me letters and stuff and I can't remember ever buying anyone else a valentines gift never seemed to have a girlfriend at the time
I have bought girlfriend valentines cards for people that I liked but it's never been it's never gone anywhere there was this er woman I don't want to write words I don't want to say her name so it was a person but I really really really really liked I'm talking as much as you can like someone without knowing them so I didn't like her personality because I didn't know her personality so it was in some ways superficial but I just couldn't believe she was just whenever I was near her I had these feelings and of love
you know love real strong emotions but yeah nothing came of it I never got a chance to really tell her how I felt see I might meet someone one day I don't know how do you meet someone when you never go out it's er it's like therapy isn't it please help me dear dear Jason er I don't go out very often so I was wondering how would I meet somebody somebody I know the thing is it's quite good because then I can I can kind of fool myself into believing that that's the only reason that
I'm single not the fact that I'm probably a good two stone overweight or possibly more you know it's er and even my hair lying at the front of my hair because it's my hair's grown back now because it was I shaved it off a few months back in December I think so now my hair's grown back and the front of it is receding there's like these the hair's basically like little islands you have to swim across to get to the next hair follicle it's ridiculous and it's hard to get an idea by looking in the
mirror how I look because I don't look at myself I don't find myself irresistible I mean I understand why people would but I don't see myself as a er sexual being like as a as a possible partner for myself because that would just be strange although technically I have been my own partner for quite a while so I just I don't know just I'm not sure how I've aged I don't know if I'm doing okay or not there's a few bits I could have done to make myself look a bit younger and maybe a few
like things I could have done to my skin to make myself a bit a bit nicer but I do use moisturiser and I kind of try and keep my face clean this is probably the most boring thing that I've ever said ever seriously this is really this is beyond boring I can't believe if you're still awake you really should have fallen asleep by now oh man I can't talk about washing my face that's just so tediously boring but I would like to meet someone one day but I know it means going out and this whole
thing about oh there's always someone out there for someone everyone's got someone out there for them but what if that person lives in Brazil or China or Australia or America or you know some somewhere long way away so my soul mate is supposed to be someone that lives in Colchester, Essex or someone that I only will ever meet if on the way to the garage or on the way to Iceland to buy some tea cakes so yeah that's it Happy Valentines this was the Valentines special for 2019 and I'm going to go now because I've
wasted enough of my own time so I'll see you tomorrow bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.