#95 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (12th February 2019)

Hello, welcome to let me bore you to sleep number, I'm not sure, I think it's, it might be number 94 or 95, I don't know, I should do a special hundredth episode. How could I make a hundredth special? Because if I was a hundred years old, well not me necessarily but normally people that are a hundred get, well in my country you get a letter or a card or something from the Queen to say happy birthday.

So instead of waiting 52 years, which is how long I have to wait for that and the best will in the world, if I reach a hundred, unless there's, I mean, there may need to be some major medical breakthroughs for me to reach a hundred but for the Queen to still be around when I'm a hundred, you know, I wish she was but unfortunately she's, I think she's about 95 now, we're in the 90s, so it will be, who would it be do you reckon? The Queen? The King? Even King Charles, it won't be King Charles because he's, he's about the same age as my dad, so he's about 73, 74, something like that.

I suppose it would be one of the, one of his children, so King William or King Billy I suppose. But even then he'll be, yeah, because he's only, what is he, 10 years younger than me, so that means he'll be 90, so it's possible, yeah, especially with his family because they do live a long time, just like my family do. Maybe, maybe, maybe I'll be the King.

So, I don't know if I said welcome to jasonnewland.com, that's the website, that's the place to be, that's the new groovy place, don't worry about Disney World, Disneyland, Bolton, I don't know, I'm trying to think of other places that are really popular, Hollywood, Syria, you know, just places that people like to go, don't worry about those places, this is a place, my website, this is the popular place.

It's a place to come to listen to me talking about stuff, none of it's political, none of it's relevant, some of it's relevant, you know, to specific sessions, you know, for, you know, whether it's an Albighton, see my friend Brooke, she lives in Americana, and she's, I suppose I shouldn't really say too much, but if she listened to one of my recordings, anyway, that's all I'll say, and she really, it really helped her, and she told me the other day, and it really helped her to overcome something that she'd been dealing with for a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time.

It's nothing embarrassing or personal, but it's still, I haven't got her permission to tell you, so I won't tell you what it was for.

And what I've done is on, where is it? Yeah, on my website page, the very first page you get to, you know, the front page, the home page, whatever you want to call it, there's a list. It's like a, basically, it's an mp3 player, and there's a list of all my latest sessions. But what I did, ah, here, this is, listen to this.

What I did was I went through my archive of previous recordings over the years that were the things that stood out to me. You know, they were long, they were perhaps not like brilliant quality sound, because I've not always been able to do that. But, you know, the quality of the content was good.

And it was these recordings were, although I didn't have a script, and I didn't necessarily prepare in a big way before recording, I did know what I was going to talk about. For example, let's say nail biting, um, stopping from cutting, because it's been, I've been affected by, sometimes by posts that people put on Facebook. There was a post by a young, a young woman.

She was one of my Facebook friends. And she said something about how she hated the way she looked. So that evening, I made a recording called, I think it was, love the way you look or love your body or something like that.

I had a another person that contacted me about self harm. And I made a recording specifically for them, although it was for everyone to listen to. But it was called no more cutting.

And it lasted for about 40-50 minutes, something like that. There was another one for vomiting. So I made ones for somebody.

So there's a few, there's probably about 30, maybe 40 recordings that I've made over the years specifically for people. Because of either they've asked for them, or I've seen a post on Facebook, and I've, I suppose I've reacted to it, I've emotionally been affected by it enough to want to help. So I've made a few recordings like that over the years.

And they, I think they seem to get lost a little bit, because I've got so many recordings. Oh, yeah, I should say only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. As this boring session may cause boringness to develop into a way which may cause your neurons and sleepy sleeps, which would also involve closey closey of the eye eyes.

So please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. Also, if you're watching on YouTube, please, again, only watch when you can safely close your eyes. And please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, press not prescribe.

No, you should never prescribe unless you're actually a doctor. Subscribe, please subscribe to my YouTube channel. And I'd like to thank you, those of you watching on YouTube.

Thank you for watching, because I appreciate it. Genuinely. Thank you.

And also thank you to everyone that's watching on Spotify, on speaker, on iTunes, on the iTunes, iPad, iPod, iPhone, Stitcher, you know, the various different places. Thank you very much. I love each and every one of you.

You are wonderful. It is brilliant to have you in my life. It's really good.

And I do appreciate it. Because without you watching and listening, I would literally just be sitting here on my own, talking to myself, which is technically what I'm doing. But at the moment, I know that you're going to be listening.

But if no one listened, I would just be sitting, I wouldn't need anything to record my voice, would I? I might just be sitting here on my own talking to myself. And that's, it seems like a bit of a slippery slope, potentially. And I only really like to do things if there's a reason for it.

Even something as seemingly pointless as this, you know, talking for an hour about nothing. But the more I do it, and the more feedback I get, and most of my feedback is from private messages. I did mention that, I think, yesterday.

And the more I realize that it's more than just me talking and you falling asleep. It's more to it. And people listen for different reasons.

And some people listen because it distracts their mind. And when you're listening to me, you're not thinking about anything else. Because that's a good thing.

Maybe it's because you get used to my voice. I become part of your life, kind of like a regular thing, if that makes sense. I suppose a little bit like a radio show or television show.

But with, you know, at least you know that I'm not getting paid anything, so that you can feel good about that. So it's, you know, I'm not getting any of the rewards of doing this. Like a radio host would be, they earn a lot of money.

People on telly earn a lot of money. Imagine, I don't know if I'd want to be on telly because I think seeing me would just be a distraction. It just, you know, I'm just too sexy.

I'm too handsome, I think. A bit too handsome for television. I think I'm probably better on an audio, you know, level.

That's why I don't really like doing Facebook, you know, doing the live broadcasts. I prefer to be, for it just to be audio. Although I do like to show Andre off.

You know, it's one of my favorite things in the world is to to have Andre and to show him. So what I might do, what I might do, and what I'm thinking of doing is perhaps, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps doing, because I've been thinking about doing a like a weekly show, like a live show. I'm still thinking about it.

Nothing's sort of, nothing's glued together, you know. It's really still thinking about it because my friend Boston Chicky said what time was I going to be doing it and it was going to be sort of like late evening, but that's still too late or too early for America or where's she in like Boston. So I don't want to alienate my friends in America because the majority of my listeners are in America.

So I don't, you know, 80% of everyone that listens to me on my podcasts, and it's always been the same since I started this in 2006, it's always been, the majority has been American. And then England, then, well, sometimes England, not even second, but quite often England is second. Wherever we've got, then it's maybe Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and where else? And then, you know, parts of Europe, Germany, France, and then, you know, it's all different countries, so many different countries of the world, people listening, you know, Ghana, Syria, just, you know, different places, because the internet reaches everywhere, doesn't it?

And especially with phones, you've got, I mentioned the, if you're using a smartphone, you notice they call them smartphones, there's no dumb phones, is there? Why call it a smartphone? There has to be, it's just a phone.

I mean, nearly all phones now seem to have the capability of doing what they all kind of do. You've got the Android, and then you've got the iPhone, and that seems to be the two types. And with the Android, then, of course, you've got lots of different makes, Nokia, and Sony, and the BBC, and the GBH, and Hoover, and Ford, or, you know, different makers of phones.

And it's, you know, and you can buy them in all kinds of places that sell phones, because that's always the great place to go to, isn't it? If you're going to buy something, go to the place where they sell them. Although online, I wonder, are we really going to lose all the shops in the world? I don't know. You know, where are you going, honey? I'm just going to the internet to get some milk.

You can't go to the internet, there is nowhere to go. I want to go and get a paper, but the internet's closed. It's like, how are you, there's got to have to be a shop.

Maybe in the future, there'll be one big shop for every town, and it'll do everything. And I don't mean like a supermarket, although I kind of do. But what I mean is like a little shop that you go in, and it'll be, if you ever read the, I think it was either the Beano or the Dandy, although it might have been the Whizzer of Chips, but I think it was, it was a Beano or the Dandy, because when I was a kid, I used to get the Beano, and I also used to get Look In magazine.

My oldest brother used to get, this is weekly, these are the comics. My oldest brother, who's four years older than me, he used to get, if I remember correctly, a football magazine, because he liked football. And I'm sure he used to get, I can't, a war magazine, because back then there was lots of, like comics about war and, you know, like action and stuff.

So I'm sure he used to get one of them as well. My other brother, who's also older, he's two years older, but he's younger than my oldest brother. So he's, he's his, so he's my oldest brother's younger brother, but not youngest brother, because I'm his youngest brother.

But he's my older brother. And the other one is my oldest. So the middle one, he used to get, I'm pretty sure he used to get the Wizarding Chips and the Beano.

So what we used to do, what me and my middle brother used to do, we used to swap over. We used to read our own, and then we'd read each other's. But I don't think I ever read, no, I did, I did, but I tried to.

I tried to read the football magazine that he had, and I couldn't. It was just, I just couldn't. It didn't, um, it's, I don't know, it's something about, because he was interested in football, but like really interested in all the different teams.

He was a fan of the local team, but he was really interested in football, you know, generally. So it's something about, to me, that would be trying to learn different species of ants, and, or different kinds of leaves, or just collecting butterflies. It's kind of just, or stamp collecting, something like that.

To learn all the different intricacies of the individual teams, you know, different colors they wear when they're playing at a home, compared to the different colors they wear when they're playing away from home. But then, again, I'm not even sure what the answer to this is, because sometimes they had the same colors as another team. So their home colors could be the same colors, or their away colors could be the same as the other person's home colors.

So what happens then? Do they change them? And then, and this is actually a genuine question, I'm not, still not sure. Don't, they change half time, don't they? They change side, they change, not change sides, you know, they don't become a different team. But they change, they go to the other side of the stadium.

So, you know, to a different goal. So they go to a different goal. And I didn't realize that when I was at school.

I scored a triplet. I scored three goals in the second half, not realizing that we'd change sides, we'd change halves. And so I was scoring the wrong goal.

Why didn't anyone tell me that I was standing on the wrong side? The thing is, when you're at school with people, you're used to being, you know, so I'm used to seeing them in maths and English. You know, I always, I don't know if I was ever not picked last in sports. So I do know what that feels like.

It doesn't, not the most wonderful feeling in the world. You know, I never felt really excited about that process. I think it's quite a horrible process.

I had it when I was doing Taekwondo. I'd never had it again since I was a kid until I was doing Taekwondo in about 2011, I think I started that. And again, we were picking sides, you know, and you'd have this activity where you'd, I don't know, fight each other or whatever it was.

And it's like, and again, I'd be picked last. It's like, oh, that's nice. Pick on the middle-aged man, why don't you? It's not, yeah, I didn't like that.

Of course, I didn't used to say that when I was a kid, you know, or pick on a middle-aged man, because that wouldn't have really fitted. In fact, I'm probably older than my teacher was when I was at school. Not all the teachers, because some of them really were old.

Some of them really were, were old. It's, you could see they were deteriorating in front of your eyes. Some of them just had been there for so long, just, they just, sometimes it was hard to tell the difference between them and the desk they were sitting at.

And you could see behind them, like the outline of their body against the wall. There was, like they'd been sitting in that same direction, that same position all those years that the sun had been shining in, and it wasn't able to reach the wall because they were sitting there. And the outline of them was against the wall, like their little shadow was permanently there.

I say little shadow, because all my teachers were very short, apart from the one that was really tall. So I had these magazines in, in the Beano or the Wizard and Chips, there was a shop, and it had, definitely wasn't in the Dandy, I'm sure. I think it was called like the shop of, uh, the best shop in the world, or the largest shop in the world, or the shop, super shop, or something like that.

And every week, someone would come in, and it would be like a, like an old fashioned hardware store, or like an old shop, you know, you'd go in, there'd be a little bit of space in the front, and there'd be a big counter all the way around. And the person serving would probably have an overall on, you know, maybe brown or like a coat, not a coat as in going outside. It's raining outside, it's all right, I've got my coat on, but that kind of coat, but I suppose professional for that profession, I guess.

And every week, every week, someone would come into the shop and ask for the most random item, in the hope of catching them out. That was the premise of the whole story, the whole show, the whole thing was that every week, someone would try and catch them out and answer something that they don't have. And every week, they would find it, and they would have it.

And as I tell you this, it sounds like one of the most boring stories ever. They must have made it interesting somehow. But anyway, maybe that's what this is going to be.

We're going to have that as a place to collect the internet stuff as well. So maybe, you know, with all this, maybe things will change on the internet, and it won't no longer, things won't be delivered. You know, you'll have the option just to maybe just collect it.

And there'll be all these underground tunnels. And helicopters will be landing and just dropping stuff off. And it'll be this massive building, but just an entrance that you go into, but the building is like the biggest building in the world.

And you can go in there and get a pint of milk, or a litre of milk, or two litres, or four pints. I sometimes get four pints of milk. But the thing is, I don't drink that much.

I mean, I do drink more than four pints in a year, but I don't drink that much in a... It depends how long I've got. I'd like to, if I'm going to have some milk, I like to drink it within three days. So what I normally do is, a small milk isn't really enough.

You know, like, I think it's a pint. Is it a pint? It doesn't seem like a pint. Those little cartons.

Those little plastic carton things. So I ideally like maybe a litre. I think that can't be a couple of pints.

It usually does me. So people, sometimes people listen to this, listen to these, listen to me. La la la la.

And it's not just for being bored into going to sleep. Now, that brings me with the situational thinking of wondering, well, what should I do? A different recording? Separate from this? As well as this? Or should I just continue to do this? Which is, well, it's obviously, it's a question, isn't it? It's just, but it's definitely a question. It's definitely a question.

And I don't know. I mean, in a way, even though I've got, what, 90, however many I've done, it's still, in a way, I only just started. There's thousands of these to come over many years, possibly every day for the next 20 years, possibly, you know? Possibly.

But I have been, I have been doing those, those, what are they called? Deep sleep, whisper hypnosis recordings. And I've been, I've been really good, actually, with that. I've been doing them pretty much every day.

And I've now included it into my routine, into my daily routine, is, includes recording those sessions. My daily routine hasn't yet included this. I'd like it to, but it hasn't.

So I'm going to kind of look in how I can, and I think the only way of doing it is to repetitively do it, you know, at a certain time, whether it's after I've had something to eat, where, you know, something like that. The thing is, if I do it when I'm too tired, I struggle, I struggle to talk. If I'm, you know, I know that it's aimed at, you know, creating boredom and tiredness.

But if I'm too tired myself, I'll be sitting here and I won't, I won't want to talk. So I need to, I think, I think I said that yesterday or sometime, is I can only do this when I'm awake, even if people are listening to them when they are going to sleep. You see what I mean? I need to be awake when I do them, especially as they're not the same as the, the sleepy stuff where I'm just like, and now you can feel your toes falling asleep one by one.

And your toenails stop arguing with each other and they make peace until the morning. A little toe waves a little white flag with a little message saying, sorry, sorry for breaking your Meccano set. And the next toe says, what's a Meccano set? And then pulls another message saying, oh, it's a, it's a toy that kids used to use in the 80s, you know, 70s, 80s, 90s.

But people don't really use it anymore. It's kind of used to be used in the same, but parallel to Lego, really. Oh, and the toenail next to it says, oh, well, then you just said Lego set, then wouldn't that make, you know, make it a bit more easier for the listeners to comprehend what you were talking about? The little toenail, he said, yeah, I would have done, had I thought about it, given it a little bit more thought to start with, I would have just said Lego set.

But the problem, you know, the problem with that is, and the other, the other toenail said, oh, well, little toenail said, well, you wouldn't know what I was talking about because it was your Meccano set, wasn't it? That I broke, not your Lego set. The other toenail said, yes, good point. That's the problem, isn't it? It's one thing, you know, wanting to try to make what we do accessible for everyone to relate to and understand and comprehend.

But at the same time, we need to, you know, have a bit of truthfulness. Truthfulness. Exactly, exactly.

Yes. So are you going to fix the Meccano set? Are you going to give me some money for it? What's the deal there? Well, I thought if I just apologized, that would be enough. I didn't expect the conversation to go on any further than that.

I thought just holding up little white flag saying sorry for breaking your Meccano set and then I could just roll over and go to sleep and think of Paddington Bear. What? Thinking of Paddington Bear makes me feel comfortable and happy inside. Also, I like marmalade.

Okay. All right. Well, perhaps we can talk about this another time.

Okay. Night, night. Night, night.

Don't forget to do a wee-wee before you go to bed. Yeah, thank you. So when I'm doing the sleep sessions, sometimes I get a little bit sleepy.

And there's been times when I've actually fell asleep, like proper, proper fell asleep, like really. And I just snored. And it was kind of, it's a little bit scary, actually, when I listened back to it.

So I wasn't recording it live. I wasn't like broadcasting it. So I just recorded it, fell asleep, and then woke myself up.

And I listened back to it. And it was absolutely fine. And then when I started talking when I was falling asleep, what I was saying wasn't making sense.

It was all over the place. It was a bit incoherent. So I edited it.

I left the incoherence in because I didn't think anyone would notice. But I took out the snoring. Because it could be a little bit disruptive.

You know? Yes, for me, that would be like if you was in a restaurant. Valentine's night, maybe, you know, having a nice romantic meal with the love of your life. You've got your meal and it's on the table and you're both sort of eating it.

And then the waiter or waitress comes along and pours a big, big bowl of salt all over your dinner and hops away. That, you know, be disruptive. That's what I mean.

Be a disruptive element to the event. So when it comes to thoughts, when it comes to thinking, when it comes to thoughts, maybe listening to me, there is a connection between, you know, having that like calming down feeling and hearing my voice, which is like a bit soothing, you know? Relaxing. Because, you know, I'm not the most energetic person, you know, speaking wise.

I have my moments physically. Sometimes I can have a little bit of energy, but just generally, you know, if I stub my toe or something like that, I can definitely hop around and have a bit of energy explosion. But verbally, when I'm making recordings, the energy level is probably, I don't know what you would, what would you give it out of 10? You know, 10 being like really high energy, high.

So for me, a 10, if you were thinking of maybe a, like a radio broadcaster, someone that was talking really quickly, and I would say loudly, but, you know, you're in control of the volume, aren't you? But you're not, although you can be in control of the speed, if you're listening on playback, you can download it and play it back at a slower speed, I suppose. But I can't imagine anyone's ever wanted to do that with me. So out of 10, 10 being like a real quick, quick speaking.

And one being slow motion, I suppose. I wonder what number you'd give me, what number you'd energy wise, what number you would give the JJ? What, what would you, what would you give me? What number out of 10 energy wise? There are no wrong answers or right answers. And you will not win a prize.

I'm just wondering, it's not always easy for me to be able to judge. Well, I can't, but I don't want to judge myself anyway. But I can't, I can't relate to myself the way that you relate to me.

And the way that you relate to me may be very different from the way other people relate to me. But I can't understand what it's like to look through your eyes, or to hear through your ears, or to feel through your fingers or your, your body to experience what you experience physically or emotionally. Because that's personal for you.

It's, we're all different. But saying that out of 10, what do you reckon energy wise? And I do wonder, is it people that listen to me? Is it people that are also quite like, not slow, because it's not about being slow, but talk slowly? Or do I have people that talk quickly? And does listening to me help you to slow down? And to slow your talking? Because that can be a useful thing. Sometimes if, if the thoughts are going around your mind quickly, and if you do, if you are in a position to talk, maybe by talking slower than you normally would.

And maybe not as obviously slower. So you know, not in slow motion. Because then, if you take too long to say a word, you may forget what the next word is going to be.

In the same way, though, if you're starting the first word, and you already know what the 14th word is going to be, before you've even verbalized the first word, then maybe you need to take a step back and take a pause. Unless you're in the middle of a live play, where you know the 14th word, because it's a script that you've learnt. And it's part of the acting that you're doing.

But if it's a conversation, and it's a new conversation, and it's something that you've not rehearsed, then why would you know what the 14th word is going to be? Unless you've already rehearsed it. And if you have rehearsed what you were going to say, why? Why have you rehearsed it? Trying to think of a situation where I would rehearse. There's lots of situations I would rehearse.

But I don't know how many of those are useful. Maybe a job interview. You know, maybe rehearse in my mind how calm and relaxed I'm going to feel when I'm sitting there in front of the two people that are interviewing me.

And just knowing within myself that actually I deserve that job. And I can just be myself, knowing that I can feel confident because I'm a legitimate, genuine applicant of that job. And I deserve that job as much as anybody else does.

And I could have that confidence. So I could perhaps rehearse that in my mind. But I don't know about rehearsing other stuff.

I don't know if that's really worthwhile. Because I do have, it might not seem like it, by the way I talk, I'm a woman's man. What is that song? You can tell by the way I walk, I'm a woman's man, no time to talk.

That's the Bee Gees. Clearly the most masculine, manly men there ever were. I think that's what I liked about the Bee Gees.

It's one of the things, it's just, I used to listen to them and it was the same time that I wanted my voice to break. But then there is this group of young, well, men that are a lot older than me. And it didn't sound like their voices had broken.

And they were doing quite well for themselves. So I thought maybe I'll be a singer. Maybe, maybe I'll join the Bee Gees.

And I can add my squeaky voice to their squeaky voices and contribute somewhat. Someone told me that, I said about writing a book, I talked about maybe writing a book. Because it's dawned on me, this has dawned on me, that because I've made so many recordings, I'm not really going to be able to sell recordings.

I could, but the thing is, it's, you can listen to me for free. Hundreds of hours worth of stuff. And so maybe as a, from a merchandise perspective, making a CD or mp3 download, unless it was like a special edition or something like that, doesn't seem like it's going to be very viable, very popular even.

Because I'll have that for sale, but I'm still making one or two or three recordings every day for free. And then I thought, I thought about the different merchandising things I could do. Because I do need to start earning a living.

And it's either go back to work and work in a call center somewhere, become self-employed, and maybe work as a counselor again, a therapist, you know, hypnotist, hypnotherapist, seeing one person at a time, and still not really earning particularly much money, or focusing on what I'm doing now. And trying to turn what I do now into a living. So it's still a free service.

Still make free audios and free videos. That doesn't change. But I earn a living out of it, which is kind of the only thing I've wanted to do for a long time.

It has to stay free. And whenever I talk to people, I've spoken to a few people, and they have got my interest at heart. You know, they do care about me.

And they care about, let's probably care about also being right as well. But that's just a human thing, isn't it? And they say, oh, you got to make it, you can't give away stuff for free, and also ask for money in charge. You got to stop giving away stuff for free.

But I can't stop. I can't. I can't stop giving it, I can't stop doing free stuff.

That's not going to happen. I'd rather stop altogether than stop doing the free stuff. That's not, can't happen.

It's not going to happen. So you know what I did? I actually got, not brainwashed, but someone that I know was talking to me and going on and on about it for years. And every time we spoke, she'd say, oh, you got too many sessions, they're free.

And if you're going to sell stuff, you need to get rid of all your stuff for free, but make it all for sale. Get rid of the podcast, you can't sell and can't sell stuff and have stuff for free at the same time, even if it is different things. So I don't know why, but on one, this one occasion, and it was a few months ago, wasn't even that long ago, probably September, I did what she said.

I followed her advice. I got rid of my podcasts, cancelled them. At that point, I was getting about 20,000 downloads a month.

Was it 20? Yeah, it was about 20,000 a month downloads. And I got rid of, got rid of all the free stuff. And I made everything available to download for like 99 pence or £1.99 each, thinking that I'd give it a go, you know, maybe because this person is a successful business person and I thought, okay.

It must have been a moment of weakness on my side when I was maybe had yet another bill come through and not having really enough to pay. And it's like, oh, that's it. I need to earn some money.

So what I did is I did that. I put everything available on my website to pay, you know, to buy. And I thought that people would just start flocking to my website and downloading my stuff.

Because at the beginning of every session, I always say my website address. Well, anyway, that didn't happen. I did get more and more people come and visit the website.

But it didn't, you know, they didn't pay. I think I had one person pay and I ended up giving them the money back because I put everything free. So after a few days, I converted everything back to just being free.

But I didn't start the podcast again. I just left everything on the website, free to download. And I was getting more traffic and getting quite a few things downloaded.

But nothing compared to the 20,000 downloads I was getting a month from my podcasts that I'd had online for quite a while. So in the end, what I decided after a few weeks is I'll start the podcast again. And I felt like I was starting from the beginning, which was a little bit annoying.

And I started them, then I deleted them again. Then I started them again. You know, so I kind of was playing around with it.

Not really sure what I was going to do. But I've stuck with it. And with my, the main speaker podcast in December, I had 10,000 downloads.

So I managed to get up again, you know, to get the amount. It's only half what it was, but still, I was pleased to start reaching an audience again, and getting back on iTunes and Spotify and, you know, with different places. And then I was last month, I don't know how many I had, probably, it was over 20, 25,000 last month, if not more downloads in January.

And I'm now hitting well over 1000 every day now. I think today already it's been about 1500 500 downloads. And it's about 1600 yesterday.

And it's just growing. And it seems most of those, not most of them, but a lot of them are on iTunes. There's also been quite a few on Spotify, and the various different places.

So the way I see it is now, it's going to grow. It will just continue to grow from now on. And I'm pleased about that, because I want it to.

And also, I've got all the backdated stuff. I've got all the other stuff. Some of it's quite good.

Some of it's just awful. But it's just really bad. No, it's not.

Some of it is really good. Maybe the sound quality isn't perfect on everything. But you know what I noticed? Some of these podcast hosts like Spotify and stuff like that, they actually make the stuff sound better when you listen to it.

When it's streamed, it's actually, I don't know, I guess it's their technology makes the recording sound better than it did before I uploaded it. Well, to me anyway. So what I'm going to do before I go, I was going to give you some homework, but I won't, because that's like the worst thing in the world, isn't it? No, don't give me homework.

Because as soon as I hear the word, my brain just shuts down. But here's a suggestion. What's today's suggestion? Let me have a think.

I'm going to do a daily suggestion, I think. So today's suggestion, and it's going to be for tomorrow, if you want something you can do for tomorrow. So it's a daily suggestion.

You can do it whenever. Get a piece of paper, or what you could do actually, get some lipstick, or a marker pen. Or if you haven't got anything like that, you get a piece of paper and just put it above your mirror in the bathroom or wherever your mirror is.

And just write, I deserve to be happy. I deserve. I deserve to be happy.

So you could do it, put it on a piece of paper, sellotape it above the mirror or on the mirror. Use blue tack. I think you can get white tack now, can't you? I think.

Or you can, if you've got some lipstick or a marker, not a permanent marker, but just something that you could write the words, I deserve to be happy. And leave it on there for a week, or for as long as you want. Just for the week, leave it at least for a week.

And every time you look into the mirror, say those words to yourself out loud. Unless of course you're got a lot of people with you and you're in the middle of a dinner party or something, I don't know. Maybe you're meeting for a book club, prayer meeting, or maybe it's some kind of intervention, but you know, whatever.

Just say it out loud. I deserve to be happy. Say it a few times.

Let those words sink in. Let the truth of those words sink in. Let the reality of those words and the emotions that are connected to those words sink in.

And also notice any reactions that you may experience to those words and say the words anyway. Now, that is me for today. Thank you for listening.

Thank you for joining me in this little daily adventure that we can share. And I will speak to you tomorrow. Bye bye.