#84 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (27th January 2019)

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes or if you're watching on YouTube, only watch this when you can safely close your eyes.

Although the idea of watching something and closing your eyes may seem like a strange concept but the reason I have to kind of let say this is because this Let Me Bore You To Sleep recording might bore you to sleep and closing your eyes is part of the process of sleeping. For most people, I mean, I know that some people are able to sleep with their eyes open. Not a superpower that I would want but even so, don't listen to this if you're swimming the channel or if you're learning Morse code.

That doesn't even make sense. So, it's just basically me talking and I haven't made one of these recordings for I don't know how long. It might be about a week, I think.

I think because I have been busy. Not busy but I've been trying to make some other recordings which aren't Let Me Bore You To Sleep. For example, I have managed to record a deep sleep whisper hypnosis session pretty much daily for quite a few days and I have also been making daily hypnosis recordings as well which are very different from this, very different from the deep sleep whispers.

It's just different stuff. The daily hypnosis sessions are very much aimed at uplifting positivity and transformational work and instead of just falling asleep. Although the sleep recordings also can help you in other ways which you may have noticed.

So, I'm going to say hello to a few people before I continue with this recording. I'm going to say hello to Rachel. I'm going to say hello to John.

I want to say hello to Cutter Kite on my YouTube friends. I'd like to say hello to Sebastian. Say hello to Brooke.

I'm trying to think of some other names but they're the names that are coming to mind. There are other people I know that listen to my sessions, watch my videos but there's some that really seem to like the let me bore you to sleep recordings. There's some that really like the deep sleep recordings, the whisper ones, just as far as the sleepy stuff goes.

So, I'm trying to keep up and cater for everybody. Another podcast that's really popular is the weekly sleep podcast and I only ever made seven of those but they're one of my most popular podcasts. So, I'm thinking of starting to add more, you know, do an extra one each week for those people that are enjoying that podcast and hopefully benefiting from that podcast.

But in order for me to do that, I need to listen to the sessions in that podcast just to get an idea of what I was, what the format of it because it may have been a very conversational recording or it may have been straight to the point or it may have been really hypnosis, you know, quite a thick hypnotic-y stuff or it might have just been very vague. So, I need to listen to see what kind of stuff I was talking about so I can get back into that framework mind and make more recordings that fit together with previous ones. Mind you, saying that, these let-me-bore-you-to-sleep sessions are not all the same, luckily, and they'd be a bit boring.

Well, they are boring but they'd be, I suppose, by not the same, I mean, they're different. They're boring in their own way, I suppose. So, I really should just let you know kind of what I've been doing this week since I last recorded a session.

But I can't remember what day it was or what I've actually done this week. I'm trying to think. I moved Andre's cage out of the living room into the storage room because he's been a bit naughty, to be fair, late last few days.

He's been, you know, scratching at the door, just causing havoc. So, I decided to put him into the storage room because I had to put him into the cage here and he was just basically rattling the cage trying to get out, causing a very how-is-your-father scenario. I basically wanted to put him on a naughty step.

That's where he was, with that. He's been naughty. And I had him in the storage room overnight for two nights and I went to get him out of there today.

And within his cage, he's got a hammock at the top that he can sleep in, but he's also got a big brown, cosy space where he can sleep in as well. So, when I went into the storage room, and when I say storage room, it's a big room. It's not full of stuff and you have to move stuff to get to the cage.

There's plenty of room and there's not that much stuff in there. And that's where his cage used to be when I first got him. His cage was always in there for the first six months, maybe.

I think it was. He was there for quite a while at some point. But anyway, he was in his brown, comfortable place.

It sounds weird. He was in his cubbyhole, I don't know what you want to call it. He wouldn't come out.

And I was trying to get him out and he was biting me. Not hard, but just, get off, get off. But I don't know why he didn't want to, cos I'm not going to leave the door open to the storage room.

So, in the end I got him out and I brought him out. But then he was trying to get back into the storage room. So I brought the cage out, put it back in the living room, in here with me, and he was trying to get back into the storage room.

So I don't know if that's where he wants to be. Maybe that's, he felt comfortable with going, cos that's where he used to be. Only at night, only when he was asleep.

The rest of the time he was out. When I'm awake, he's awake. Or when I'm awake, he's out of the cage, he can do what he wants.

But when I go to bed, he goes to bed. Those is the rules. He's not always happy about those rules, but quite often he's so, so tired that I just, I pick him up and I just put him in, you know, put him in the hammock at the top of the cage and he's just asleep.

He's completely zonked out. So it really does depend on when I can get him. You know, if he's really, really tired, then he just goes to bed, he just goes to sleep, regardless of where he is.

Even if I pick him up and I just put him on my lap while I'm watching telly, he'll just still be asleep. Sometimes I can cut his fingernails and he'll still be asleep while I'm doing it. But that's rare.

But lately, the last week or so, every time I move, I go to the toilet or go to the kitchen, he'll jump up out of his bag and follow me. And he wants to go out constantly. And I do take him out, even if it's just, you know, just out the front or just outside.

I don't necessarily go for like a long walk or anything, but he's just constantly wanting to go out. I don't know why, because it's not even, doesn't even seem like the right time of the year for him. It's like his seasons are all out of whack.

Because it's the winter, it's not. I think the same with the birds. The birds are in the trees.

Well, they don't have to be in the trees now. But they're like whistling and singing and like it's spring. And admittedly, it soon will be spring, because it's the end of the month.

I think the last day of January will be this coming Thursday, which is which is Sunday today. So the last day of the month will be, so Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. So four more days.

And it's, it'll be February. So that makes it, I think there's 31 days in January. So 31 would be Thursday.

30 would be Wednesday. 29 would be Wednesday. No.

No. Thursday would be 31. Wednesday would be 30.

Tuesday would be 29. Monday would be 28. So today, 27.

So today must be Sunday the 27th of January 2019. So tomorrow will be Monday the 28th of January 2019. Then the next day would be Tuesday the 29th of January 2019.

And then Wednesday, the 30th of January 2019. And then lastly, it will be Thursday, the 30th of January 2019. No, 31st.

Did I say 30? I meant 31st. But I might have said 31st of January 2019. Which means Friday will be the 1st of February 2019.

Here's an interesting fact. I'm going to treat you to something that you may not have known. Something that is amazing.

And it doesn't really fit in with the boringness of this. But I think it's pretty exciting. Did you know that my name is the only name in the calendar? And you may think, what do you mean? Your name is the only name in the calendar.

Well, here we go. You ready? The first letter of each month. So you've got J for January, F for February, M for March, A for April, M for May, J for June, J for July, A for August, S for September, O for October, N for November, D for December.

So let's backtrack to my name. J for July, A for August, S for September, O for October, N for November. J-A-S-O-N.

Jason. July, August, September, October, November. And my birthday's in August.

And Christmas is in December. But December isn't part of it, so I might as well just forget about that bit. So July, August, September, October, November.

Jason. As far as I'm aware, there are no other names in the alphabet by using that technique. You know, the J for January, F for February, M for March, A for April, M for May, J for June, J for July, A for August, S for September, O for October, N for November, D for December.

So July, August, September, October, November. J-A-S-O-N is the only name that I can figure out within the alphabet aspect of the calendar of the months with the first letter. Isn't that exciting? I know that some people are called, you know, they're named after a month.

Not a month, they're not called a month. What's your name? My name's Trudy. What's your name? My name's John.

What's your name? I'm a month. No, it wouldn't work. A month? What is that about? It would cause confusion amongst KitKat eaters.

I bought some KitKats. They're only like two fingers. I don't know what it is.

I don't know if my mouth has got bigger or KitKats have got smaller. I've never really classed my mouth as being big, although I've got a lot in there at times. But the KitKats just seem really small.

Never known of anyone called January. Although, wasn't the girl from, um, what's that film? Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do. Not the Munsters, but the Addams Family.

Wasn't the young girl in that called January? So I don't know anyone called January, unless of course she was, but like real people, no offence to her, you know, but she was a character. And I'm thinking, February. Never heard of anybody called February.

March. Never heard of anybody called March. April is a name that I've heard.

I'm not sure if I've actually met anyone called April, but I know that some people are called April, uh, female names, I think, generally. Although there's no reason why a month should be, should have any kind of male or female identity attached to it. April should be available for men, boys or girls, really, shouldn't it? Because it's, April is, if anything, April is, uh, I don't know, what does April represent? It's spring, but then March is spring as well, isn't it? April, daffodils, hmm.

No, actually, I have met one person called April. Yeah, didn't meet one person. So May.

May is quite a popular name, but maybe not in the west of the world. So I think the name May for a first name is, I think some parts of the world have adopted that name. So I'm guessing out of all of them, probably May would be the most popular month out of the year that is used to name humans.

What's next? June. So I've only known one person called June. No, two people, two people.

So there are, you know, I'm sure there's thousands and thousands and thousands of people called June, but I've only met two in my travels. Now, July. Never, ever, ever have I met or even heard of anybody that has been named July.

Don't know of anybody. I'm not saying that it hasn't happened. I haven't been everywhere.

I haven't met everyone. You know, I don't know, but I don't know anybody that's called July. So what's next? August.

Now, I feel a mixed sense with this month name August. It's possibly because, you know, in August, my birthday and two of my brother's birthdays are in August. So August was always a memorable month throughout my life.

Childhood and stuff. It's also one of the best months of the year, potentially, you know, for weather, you know, July, August kind of summery kind of time. It's bright outside.

Days are long. I think doesn't August have the longest day? I might be wrong. However, I don't recall ever hearing of a person called August.

However, there's a part of me that feels that there is a very obvious person who has been called August. But that person is evading my mind right now. I can't think of them.

So I don't know. August. It sounds like a name that could be used.

But I don't know of anybody. So September. I can't imagine anybody being called September.

But it's a nice name though. September. I can understand why people call their kids May.

It's easy, isn't it? It's easy to spell. September is quite a long name. September.

Timber. So what's the other? October. October.

100% I don't think anybody's ever been called October. But they probably have. Just doesn't sound like a name that would be used for somebody.

But just because I haven't, I've never met anybody called October. There may be lots of people. But I've never met anyone.

So I don't know if there is. November. A little bit like August.

I don't think I've ever met anybody called November. But I had this little niggle, little, little niggle in my brain saying, you know, there's definitely a famous person called November. But I just can't think who it is.

And then you've got December. Now I've never ever met anyone called December. No, December.

Just doesn't really sound like a name, does it? Sounds like a name of a month. I know obviously, because it is. But December, I don't know.

I think nowadays, without coming across as old, what I've noticed, just from a distance, is people seem to no longer name their children after relatives, rather just after somebody they like. Maybe, you know, from a television program or a film or maybe just a popular name of the time. See, for example, with my dad, see my nan and granddad, they had five children.

So there was my dad, his two brothers, and his two sisters. So there's five of them. Now one of his sisters was named after my nan.

Exactly the same name. So my nan and granddad, their first daughter was named after my nan, their, you know, her mother. And the first son was named after my granddad, his dad.

Exactly the same first names. And as far as I'm aware, the other names, the other names, the other people, my uncle, my aunt, my aunt and uncle, and my dad were named after other like family members. I do wonder what it was like in their household.

And my nan and granddad talking to each other and using each other's names. And then their son and daughter, who all had the same names as their, you know, daughter having the same name as the mother, and the son having the same name as the father. Wouldn't it get confusing? You know, how was work today, Eddie? What do you mean, mum? I don't go to work.

I'm only five. It could be a bit, or it could go the other way, how was school today, Eileen? I don't go to school. I'm 47.

I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to our daughter. And she left school.

She's 19. She hasn't been at school for two years. Yeah, but this was just part of a point, really, just to, you know, about having the same name and how it could be confusing.

Oh, what has that been? It's Jason. He's doing one of those Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings. And he's run out of things to talk about.

So he's just doing some weird conversation between us that never happened. Who's Jason? Oh, he's the grandchild that we haven't had yet. It's, it's a long story.

But you'll meet him about 10 years. Oh, what's he like? What kind of person is he? Well, he's got dark hair. To be honest, I'm not really going to make much effort with him.

I'll probably speak to him a couple of times. I think you'll probably get on all right with him. He's a bit feminine, really.

What do you mean? Well, in touch with his emotions. And, you know, he thinks about things. He doesn't doesn't bottle it all up.

That's not necessarily a feminine thing, is it? Yeah, but for me, I just prefer to not talk about things, you know, just get on with life, get on with my job. That's okay, too. You're a good man.

Everybody's different. Yeah, I suppose so. But he, you know, he's very different.

What do you mean? He's just, I don't know, a little bit unusual. A bit hard to, very hard to get to know, really. I thought you said he was in touch with his feelings.

Yeah, but he doesn't necessarily let those feelings be known. He's, I don't really know how to explain it. But he's very focused, kind of knows what he likes doing.

But he's, I don't know. He is what he is, I suppose. Oh, do you think you'll like eating cakes? Yeah, I reckon he will.

After all, you're you're a wonderful baker. You make lovely cakes. I've been very fortunate to marry such an amazing woman that has looked after me, gave me a wonderful family.

And on top of that, you're a great cook and you make some beautiful tasting cakes. Oh, thank you. You don't say much, but when you do say nice things, it makes me feel very happy.

Oh, that's all right. You know I love you. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I think, I think you and Jason will be quite close. Some reason he's going to be able to connect with you. Oh, that's nice.

The one thing you will struggle to do though. What's that? Is he won't be able to do your voice. If he ever tries to do your voice, it will sound silly.

Won't sound anything like you. What do you mean? Well, like right now. First of all, I, this isn't how I sound and you definitely didn't sound like that.

What do you mean? I mean, that's, that's not the voice that you had, but I imagine he's doing his best, you know, he's doing what he can. And he's probably thinking that it's gone a bit too long now. He'd like to find a way to end this particular conversation that isn't really happening between his grandparents that supposedly happened before he was born.

And he's forgotten the reason why it even started or how it started. I've lost. So, July, August, September, October, November.

It's my name. And that's in the, it's not in the alphabet, it's in the calendar. The first letter of each month.

And in a way, I think that's quite groovy. It's a groovy, groovy thing. And I like groovy things.

I'm not sure when I very first noticed it. I may have been about 14. And I used to buy these magazines or this particular magazine.

I forget what it was called. But it used to have astrology. It used to be about astrology and kind of paranormal, esoteric kind of stuff.

And I just remember seeing the calendar with, but just instead of the whole of the name of each month, it used to just they use just the first letter of the name of each month. So it's J, F, M, A, M, J, J, A, S, O, N, D. That's 11 months, is it? Let's do this again. So J, F, M, A, M, J, J, A, S, O, N, D. And I was looking at that.

So I looked at the J for January. And then the F for February. And nothing, you know, it's like jif.

And then the M for March. Jifm. So there's no name there.

Then the A for April. M for May. So March, April, May, Mam.

I mean, that's some people called their mother's mam or M-A-M-A. All right, ma. On back ma.

Let me 20 pound ma. So I suppose that's the thing. Or you've got the letters A, N, April, May.

It says am. I am going. Please don't call the police.

I am leaving. I am doing my trousers up. And whatever, you know, I'm putting my socks back on.

So A, N, April, May, J for June, J for July. So JJ, of course, sometimes people call me JJ, but JJ, June, July, August, September, Jas, on Jason, December at the end D. So my name is the only one in the whole of the calendar. I want to say my name.

I don't mean just my name. I do appreciate that there are other people around the world that also have a beautiful name of Jason. There are, in fact, there's other people with the name Jason Newland online.

There is a cage fighter. There is a doctor. Lots of different kind of, lots of different people.

I'm kind of at the top of the list in a sense of you put my name in, my website comes up at the top of Google. But that's just because I've been around a long time and I've been doing this for some, some time now. 13, is it 13 years? Let's work it out.

2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019. Yeah. 13 years I've been doing this thingy.

And on that note, I'm going to go. Thank you for listening. Speak to you next time.

Bye.