#71 Let me bore you to sleep - LIVE Facebook STREAM - Jason Newland (New Years Day 2019)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is a let me bore you to sleep New Year's Day celebration. Or just New Year's Day basically. It's just turned midnight.

It's actually 20 minutes past midnight. So we're 20 minutes into 2019. So what I thought I would do is do a live let me bore you to sleep and maybe even if you're not going to use it to go to sleep right now while it's live, you can always listen back to my stories of New Year's Eve's pasts, which I might discuss.

So what I might do is, you know, a little summary of the year. Although I might do another one of these later today and do a summary of the year. I might do another one tomorrow and do another summary of the year because I imagine each summary would possibly be different.

Andres just had an egg. So I was watching television. And give me two seconds.

I'm going to get Andre. What's that? Look. Oh dear.

Come here. I'm not banging around. There you go.

Whenever I try to get him, he runs away. And as if I'm going to, you know, turn him into a sausage dog or hot dog or sausage roll or something. I'm not.

Give kisses. So the new year came in 22 minutes ago. And there was, I was watching television and there was fireworks and stuff like that.

And I thought, well, I found a friend. And there was no answer. And I thought, I need to celebrate it with Andre.

And I didn't know where he was. So I looked in his place where he normally sleeps. Wasn't there.

Looked in another place that he sleeps. Wasn't there. I thought, is he under the wardrobe in the bedroom? Just didn't fancy climbing on the floor to get to him.

He goes there because he knows I can't get to him very easily. And I thought, maybe he's sleeping on the bed. But he wasn't sleeping on the bed.

He was sleeping inside the quilt. So he'd climbed into the end of the quilt, you know, where it's buttoned up. And was fast asleep in there.

So I just pulled him out a little bit. So his head was out between two of the buttons and his head was poking out. And I gave him a happy New Year's kiss.

And then I put him back in underneath the quilt. But then he followed me out. So he kind of followed me.

And I thought, I'll give him a little cuddle, a New Year's cuddle. And I thought, what can I do? Give him a little present. So one of the things that he absolutely loves is a raw egg.

In the shell. So he has to figure a way out how to open it. You know, crack the shell and get to the beautiful stuff inside, which he loves.

Which is something that he would probably eat in, you know, the wild. So that's what he did. That's what I did.

I gave it to him. And he's been rolling it around the flat, banging it against the skirting board. And he ended up in the kitchen.

So it's going to be very slippery in the kitchen. Because he's probably left a big puddle of eggyness, haven't you? Yeah, he probably wants to go now. You want to go? Okay, there you go.

So yeah, so what I thought I would do. I don't know if it's going to be a long one. It might just be a short hello.

And then I'll go away and do something else. But it might be a bit longer. I don't know.

You can tell before listening or watching if it's a long one or not. Because you can look at the length of the recording. If that makes sense.

Yeah, so it's just me. I've got my trusty can of Coke. I've got my little vape.

And this is like three things I thought I could do. First of all, I've got to tell you to only watch this or listen to this tediously boring video or recording when you can safely close your eyes. Because that's what it's for.

Saying that, I will say hello to anybody that says hello while I'm live. So if that's a disruption for anyone listening, then that might happen during the live sessions. If I'm recording something and it's not live, then hopefully there's no disruptions.

Although there might be background sounds because I don't live in a recording studio. But then if I did live in a recording studio, there'd probably still be a toilet being flushed and maybe a kettle being turned on. Because I imagine people that work in recording studios need to put liquid into their body as well as allowing it to leave their body, I suppose.

So, yeah, I'm not drinking any alcohol or doing anything like that. I don't really drink anymore. So New Year's Eve, it's been very different, not this year, but I don't know.

Isn't this New Year's Eve been any different from any other? There was a time when I lived in London. And I do believe pretty much every single New Year's Eve throughout my 20s, apart from when I was 20. But from every other, so 21 all the way up to 31, probably, yeah, or 30.

I used to spend my New Year's Eve in a club that I used to go to. Apart from one year where I was, I spent it with a girlfriend in Clacton. That's over 20 years ago.

So really, since about 2001, yeah, since 2000, New Year's Eve, I always think New Year's Eve, like I think this is New Year's Eve 2018, but it is, isn't it? Yeah, so New Year's Eve 2000 was the last New Year's Eve that I actually, in my memory, actually did anything for. So that's what, 18 years. The rest of the time, really, I just, I did see the New Year Eve in once with a girlfriend.

I think that was in 2005, no, two. I saw New Year's Eve also in 2006 with a different girlfriend. So I did, so yeah, they were quite good New Year's Eves, I suppose.

And then there was a New Year's Eve in 95, and that was with a girlfriend, a different one. So that was, I suppose, three of my more memorable New Year's Eves would have been spending them with girlfriends. I don't even recall last New Year's Eve, or the one before that.

No, I don't recall. I remember a New Year's Eve back in, I think it was 1990. And I saw New Year's Eve in with a friend who lived around the corner from where I lived.

It was basically, if you come out my house, so I lived in the bottom of the house. So if you go into the house, there was a room to the right. And then a little bit further up, there's another room to the right.

That was my room. And then further through was where the kitchen was. And then upstairs, I think the bathroom was upstairs.

And I think there's a couple of other rooms that were rented out as well. And maybe it was even further upstairs, but I didn't really go. Any further because I didn't need to because I lived downstairs.

And I remember that room because the heating was on all the time. And it was very hot. And even though it's winter, I only lived there for maybe three or four months.

It's very hot, even in the winter. And I had to open the windows to let some air in. And there was this, I'm only, I have to guess, I suppose, that it used to be like a living room or a dining room previously, you know, to previous owners.

It was a very old house. And it happened to be in the same road as the house that I lived in for about eight years as I was growing up, you know, from the age of about nine to 15, maybe six years in. And there was a mantelpiece, like a fireplace.

But I think the fireplace was blocked in. It was not soiled over, that would be the wrong word. Sealed, sealed.

And, but there was still a mantelpiece, a fireplace bit, you know, the bit above the fire, and you can put stuff on it. Well, I had that and I used to put my videos, my comedy videos that I had of my stand-up comedy, not me, but I used to collect comedy videos from, you know, people like Eddie Murphy and Rodney Dangerfield and Emo Phillips. Who else did I have? I probably had some Chubby Brown.

I'm trying to think who else I might have had. Bill Cosby, Robin Williams, I had a couple of his or maybe three of his stand-up videos. On VHS.

And who else I had? I think I had maybe Cheech and Chong as well. And I also had quite a few albums, some very early, like original Richard Pryor albums. Bill Cosby, George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, Sam Kinison, Andrew Dice Clay.

A lot of American comedians. Pretty much every American comedian that I could get hold of, I would have their album. And so Carolyn or Caroline says she loves George Carlin.

So I think, I don't think George Carlin was that well known in England at that time anyway. I think later on he, because he was in a film called Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. And I know he was a big star in America for a long time, since the 50s, maybe even the late 40s.

And, you know, he was a superstar, comedy superstar. And he's, but his early stuff, I think one of his albums was called Class Clown. And it's so funny.

It's really, really funny. And it's, it was the delivery, the delivery as well. And I think as he got older, he seemed, it's as if he really believed it.

And he came out with some pretty things, not pretty things, but things that you wouldn't be able to get away with if it hadn't been for the fact that he was in his 70s and didn't care. Very funny. And it's not that he didn't care, he just didn't care what anyone thought about him.

But he did, very funny. He, I think if the internet, well, you could say this about lots of people. And if the internet had been around when George Carlin had first kind of, you know, maybe in the 70s when he did the, is it the 12 words you can't say on television or something like that? That would have been a viral video.

That would have been like on YouTube, had YouTube been around then. But so I used to, I had tapes of George Carlin that I used to listen to. And actually they probably made me laugh more than most of the other tapes that I listened to.

Because they were quite like, caught me off guard sometimes. Plus he made loads, loads of albums. But others I liked.

I'll tell you who I did like. What's a name that was in Ghost? Not Patrick Duffy, because that's Bobby Ewan, isn't it? Not the man from Ghost. Not Demi Moore.

And Whoopi Goldberg. So Whoopi Goldberg. If you've never seen, this is turning into a little comedy, history of comedy here.

But if you've never, if you like Whoopi Goldberg and you like her films, I would say if you've never seen her live show that she did, when she was young, probably in the 80s, that was, this was, I forget what it was called. But it was a Broadway show that she did. And it was available on video.

Probably can watch it on YouTube, I imagine. And she does a few different characters. It's brilliant.

Absolutely brilliant. And that's what launched her. It showed her acting skills, but also comedy and absolutely amazing.

Another comedian, Steve Martin. I discovered Steve Martin when I was a teenager. Before he was in England, he was, he became a big star when Roxanne came out.

So we're probably talking, I don't know when that was. Was that like 1990, 1989? And then he was doing Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and, you know, quite like these big massive films. And he was a huge star in my country, in England, like film star.

But he was already a massive star in America. With first always stand up shows in the 70s, he used to fill out arenas. You know, in the 70s with his stand up and his silly like antics and stuff.

And I didn't know about the stand up stuff until probably about 90, 1990, 89, probably. But before that, when I was a young teenager, I used to watch, I used to go to the video shop. And he said DVD shop, but it wasn't, it was video shop.

And I was a video, I wasn't so much a video nerd or a boffin or, you know, a connoisseur. But one of the things I loved more than anything was to get videos from the video shop and watch maybe three films back to back. And ideally on my own, if possible.

But, you know, I wasn't that bothered if there was other people there. But I kind of quite liked, when I was old enough to do it on my own. I would.

But before that, in the early, probably late 70s, early 80s, when DVDs, when video players first kind of came out or became popular, there was a video shop that opened. And it's absolutely miles away from where I lived. I mean, talking, it was, you have to go out of the house, turn left.

And the road I lived in, admittedly, I was little back then. So it seemed like quite a long road. Probably not that long, really.

It's probably only about five minute walk, maybe six, maybe six and a half hour. I never timed it. But you could see the end of the road from pretty much from where you got out.

So I didn't always go out the front door. Quite often it was through the alleyway at the side. So if you faced the front of the house, it was a semi-detached house.

And there would be, the front door would be on the left, and then there'd be the front, I suppose, the living room window would be to the right of the front door. And then to the right of that was an alleyway, which led to a gate, which then led to the back garden. And we used to go into the, if you used to go into the, I don't know how, it was quite dark.

And there wasn't a long walk into the, you know, to the gate. But I remember the gate, the handle used to be on the right hand side. So you should open it, but it would be a click one.

So you could always hear the click. And walk in, it's quite a heavy old thing. I think it was green, but it might have been different colors at different times.

And by that, I don't mean it was a multicolored gate. It wasn't like a mood gate that changed color depending upon how it felt. I think it was more that over time it was probably painted, probably different colors.

And so we'd walk in there, and both sides, there was the house next door, which was detached from mine, but there was a wall there, because I guess it needed the wall, didn't it? So the wall was there, and then there was the wall of my house. And then there was a, probably the width span of my hands, there's probably maybe, like maybe six foot, five or six foot, maybe five foot from either side to the other. And there was a path, I think there was, yeah, I think it was like paving slabs or something that went down from leading to the gate.

Because there was, it wasn't always there, but there was a driveway where the front lawn used to be. I remember when my dad put that in. And so it wasn't always there, but once it was there, it stayed there.

I don't know if it's still there now, because I haven't lived there since 1986. So what's that, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, that's 30 years, 2017, 2018. I know it's now 2019, but we'll just say 32 years since I lived there.

And so I'm not sure, I mean, it might have a driveway, but it might have been changed. That's the thing, it's not always that easy to know, is it? Because I've walked past there a few times over the years, just for nostalgic reasons, and also to get where I was going. So I find that's a good path, because if you need to go somewhere, and that's the road that gets you to where you need to go, then that's sometimes the best route to take, depending unless there's a different route that might be more advantageous, depending on the situation, I guess.

You know, and I remember the, so used to go in, there'd be the gate, go in the gate, but it was a proper, I don't mean to stress the size of the handle on the gate, but it was probably, it was big, it was one of those big flappy ones, where the top was metal, well the whole, not the gate, but the handle of the gate was big. It also had a lock at the top, and I think the lock was on the inside, though, that would make sense. You wouldn't lock it from the outside, would you, I suppose?

But then how do you lock it if you're on the outside, unless you've got like bendy arms like Mr. Tickle, or the, I don't know, you know, what is it, what's that film with the superheroes where the blokes can, he can stretch, Mr. Stretchy Man, and he can put his hands right underneath a door and go all the way up, and then he could probably undo the lock or do it up, you know, but didn't have him there, and I've never been able to do that myself, although I don't remember how much of a gap there was underneath the actual gate.

I don't know, I have this like memory that maybe it was quite close to the floor because it'd make a bit of a sound, maybe scrape it along the ground a little bit, but I might be making that up.

So I'd go in there, and sometimes I'd leave the, sometimes I'd close the gate after myself, sometimes I'd leave it open, depends if I wanted to give my parents something to moan at me about, and so go in, yeah, so go in and kind of there'd be this little patio area in the back before we actually got to the garden, and if you turn directly left as you walk in, it would lead to the front room, one of the, because we had a front room, but it was in two bits, like a dining room and

front room, you know, so it's like two rooms knocked into one, kind of, or one room that was knocked into two, no, two rooms knocked into one, but then extended to make it into a bigger room by making the hole in between larger, I think.

Again, it's not, possibly not true.

So I had this, you could see in there, and then just a little bit further up, you could walk up, and as you go into the gate, it's basically like a curve, you could walk through, walk in, and to the left is the front door, the back door rather, which went straight into the kitchen, and that used to be quite often the route in and out of that particular house for us children, I think even for the adults as well. Yeah, I think I did use the front door a bit more often as I got a little bit older, if I recollect correctly.

So coming out, whether it's the front door, so if you come out the front door, there's different ways you could get out there, I mean, if you came out, because the front room and the dining room, or the living room and the dining room, well, they were connected, they both had different doorways, they had a different door to each one.

Plus, you could walk through from the kitchen, there's another dining room from the kitchen, which would lead you towards the front door, or you could come down the stairs, because in the house, once you go up the stairs, there's one bedroom straight ahead, then next to that, to the right, was the bathroom, then next to that was a toilet, and then you turn around, I think you went up one step or two steps, and to the left was a big room, one bedroom, and further up was the parents' bedroom, that's another quite fairly big bedroom, and then straight ahead was a smaller room.

So, that was one, two, this is four bedrooms, yeah, the first bedroom, the first one straight up, that was hardly ever used, that was more as a, like a guest room, but I did sleep there for a while, at one point, and so one, two, three, so it's four bedrooms on that level, then upstairs, there is my brother's room, it had like a curvy wall, not a curvy wall, not like voluptuous and central, I mean, like a wall that was slanted down, or a ceiling that was slanted down, kind of a ceiling and a wall

all in one, if that makes sense, with a skylight, so that was my brother's bedroom, and then, so that was the third floor, if you go up, on the left-hand side, there was another room, that was originally my oldest brother's room, then I eventually took that room up, and there was another room, which was also another bedroom, but we had it as a playroom, and then at one point, it was my brother's, my oldest brother's bedroom, so it kind of swapped and turned around, so all in all, the house had, what was it, one, two,

three, four, five, six, seven bedrooms, and, yeah, but there was, if you think about it, there was my parents, so that was two, and then there was my oldest brother, that was three, there was my second from oldest brother, so that was four, there was me, five, and then it was my youngest brother, six, so we needed at least five bedrooms, anyway, so we had seven, at the height of things going to plan, and kind of, you know, we had five bedrooms in use, the spare bedroom from my grandmother, when she came and stayed, or

my grandparents, or whoever, and the upstairs room was the playroom, the big room, so five bedrooms and two spare, you know, two other rooms being used for other things, and then downstairs, so there was a toilet and a bathroom, which also had a toilet on the first floor, I always get a little bit muddled up, if it's first floor, second floor, third floor, it's like, I understand basement, because that's below ground, isn't it, but the first floor, is the first floor the floor that you walk in on when you walk into a house, do you

see what I mean, I come, and then the second floor, or is the first floor, that's the ground floor, so the first floor is the second level, second floor is the third level, so there was three levels to this house, so downstairs, going to the front door, as I said, on the right hand side, there was one, and that was like the front room that had probably the place where we would sit and watch television, and on a Saturday evening, maybe a Sunday evening as well, we'd maybe sit there and have a plate of, you

know, sandwiches, sausage rolls, crisps, cakes, kind of like a, maybe like a buffet kind of thing, and so they used to, we'd probably sit on the floor usually, not my parents, but us kids, and we'd have our food and watch television, and there'd be things like Bobby Davro and, you know, various television programs that were on at that particular time, you know, so usually Saturday and Sunday evening is when we used to use that room, but the rest of the week, it got used less over time, there was a time when it was used all

the time, and then as time went past, it got used less and less, and the room next to it that was also connected to it had a big dining table, and there was a music center, I don't know if there was a television in there or not, I don't recall, but as you go out of that room and you walk towards the kitchen, there was another dining room, and that did have a television in, like a portable television used to be on the side, and there was another table which you could all sit around, and

that's where we used to eat most of the time for special occasions, probably maybe Sunday lunch and birthdays and stuff like that, you know, Christmas, Easter, I don't know about Easter, different place, times, we used to eat in the living room, you know, on the big table, especially if our family was invited and things like that, so it's a living room, another, like the dining room, so we'd have the living room and the sitting room, then we'd have the dining room, which is where we would eat most of the time, but in the kitchen, there

was a kitchen, but before, between the dining room, between the living room and the dining room, there was another toilet as well, so we had three toilets in the house, which you need when you've got that many people, especially that many children, so it was, you know, as good to always have, and there's also a toilet at the end of the garden as well, so, well, we call it the, they call it the toilet, I call it the peach tree, because that's, although eventually I was told that actually there was a toilet at the bottom

of the garden, I thought they meant the tree, but they didn't, but that's brothers for you, and in the kitchen, the left-hand side or the right-hand side of the kitchen was the door, which you go out of and in as you please, depending on whether or not you want to be outside or inside, you know, because if you go outside, that led to the garden, if you turn left, and it was a fairly good-sized garden, it was a nice garden, and nice if you didn't have to dig it or cut it or water it, nice

to look at, you know.

In the actual kitchen bit, there's a nice spacious area, and it wasn't like massive, but it was definitely well used and well put together, and originally there was, there was just the kitchen, you go out, and there used to be a toilet outside, but also a storage area for tools and things, so what my dad did is he knocked through, and he created more space for the kitchen to be bigger, and in that area, he had a table and a big like area where we could sit around and eat, so we ended up eating there.

It took a while for me to try and forget that there used to be people doing poos in the area during the last hundred years, but I kind of moved on from that, but, so you had that, so we basically had, you could eat there, you could eat in the dining room, or eat in the living room, or on the floor in the sitting room, you know, sort of on a Saturday evening, or you could go outside and sit on the floor on the grass, because we used to have like picnics, I suppose, as well,

and things like that, so that was that house, so talking about where it was to go outside, you turn left, and if you walked outside the front door, you got onto the pavement, which is a standard size pavement, really, I don't know how wide, I don't know how wide a pavement is, I'm not really sure what the standard width of a pavement is, but the pavements weren't really wide, but they weren't really thin either, because there are some places where you go where the pavements are just, it's like a tightrope walk, and it's like really,

it's not great, depending on whether you like to tightrope walk, or how slim your feet are, or how slim you are, I suppose, I need a bit of space to walk, and you could walk all the way down to the end, and that would be where the sea was, so probably halfway between the end of the road was where I ended up living for a few months, that's the place where I had all the heating, was on all the time, so I lived there, and I was, it was 1990, it was the end of 1990,

so like the last three months, and I was just doing a few part-time jobs to get by, and the, I remember the fridge, we shared a fridge, I don't mean like, you know, dual custody or anything, you know, I didn't have the fridge in my room for, you know, half the week, and the other people had the fridge in their room, we, you know, we shared it, it was in the kitchen the whole time, and we all used to use it to put our food in, which was just generally what people do, I guess, and

I got on really well with my neighbours right next to me, they were in the next room, but they had garlic with everything, so they put garlic in the fridge, which meant that everybody who had food in the fridge also had garlic with everything that they ate, because garlic just sinks into everything, it seemed to sink into the milk, anything, you know, even the fruit, you know, I was going to say the fruit, but I probably didn't eat fruit back then, but I had a cucumber in the fridge, I'm sure that the cucumber, when I

got around to actually eating it, it had a garlicky kind of taste, and there was, they had a bit of a problem where the people next to me thought that some of this stuff was going missing out of the freezer, like they were going in, there was less of their food in there, because we were sharing amongst maybe four or five different rooms, and what they decided to do was to mark their food with this invisible ink, but if anyone touched it, it covered them in blue, and I didn't know anything about it, and I,

you know, I don't touch other people's food anyway, unless it's to move it out of the way to get to my own, but it was quite funny, because they did it, put the stuff in the fridge, they did it for also things in the cupboard and everything, and they called, I think they called the landlord, and the landlord called everyone down, including people upstairs, called everyone in just to sort of say about, to try and sort it out, and the man, or the boy, he was quite young, came from downstairs, he came up from upstairs

to downstairs, and he used to play the guitar, but I think it was bass, I think it was a bass guitar, but I didn't really see him that often, but I used to hear the guitar, but didn't really know him to talk to, because he lived in a different floor to me, so I didn't really bang into him, you know, not bang into him, but I didn't really see him particularly often, but I did know the people that lived next to me, because I knew them previously, from previous times, you know, from a couple of

years back, I used to know them, and they were lovely, and I got on really well with them, so they're the ones that put this blue stuff on, you know, everything that they owned, and the landlord was downstairs, and he was saying, because I didn't know about any of this, and he said, the reason I'm calling you, just waiting for Tom upstairs to come down, but it's just because Horace and Elizabeth, or I don't know what their names were, next to me, were concerned that some of their things were perhaps going walkies, and they said,

put some dye, some of this blue dye onto the food, and even the chocolate bars, and everything, and I said, well, what do you mean, blue dye, and the bloke was walking down the stairs, Tom, he said, yeah, what do you mean, what's going on, what do you mean, blue dye, he had, all his mouth was covered in blue, and his hands, it was like a little smurf, little cheeky smurf, walking down the stairs, so yeah, he still didn't know, didn't know what was going on either, because it was news to all of us that

this blue stuff had been sprayed onto things, and I think he, I'm probably making this bit up, but I think he said that he thought that the chocolate in the cupboard was just part of the tenancy, it came with the room, and it was a magic cupboard, because it was always there, and he said, well, if there was a problem, why did the chocolate keep being put back in there, he thought maybe it was, he was doing the right thing, and initially he said, well, I've not eaten any chocolate, I've not had anything, the good

thing about a situation like that is that it was funny, it's like watching a small child denied that they've touched any chocolate, and you know, they're covered in chocolate all over their mouth and on their hands, and even though they're, telling fibs, it's still kind of humorous from a, like a physical comedy perspective.

One of the comedians I used to like, I used to like, Steve Martin, I used to watch his films, so in the 80s, early 80s, as I said, the nearest shop, video, well, the only video shop in the town, in the entire town, I don't remember what it was called, but I do remember where it was, and I used to walk down to the end of the road, go down Bent Hill, walk all the way through the, through the, basically around the sea, I don't mean like the whole world, but just around the promenade, all

the way around, so it would take about, probably there and back, would take over an hour, maybe hour and a half, and the speed I walked, sometimes five hours, and the thing that took the longest period of time was choosing a film to watch, because one of the things I liked about when we had films, and sometimes we'd get three or four, sometimes five films over the weekend, that was my favorite thing, because when there was a film being played, then we didn't have to talk to each other, and it just, it was quiet, it

was quite peaceful, I mean, I suppose in that way, and so I used to love going down there and choosing a video, I remember watching a Peter Sellers film, where he played lots of different characters, and what other films did I used to like?

There was so many, but then it came to a time when I used to, I was kind of old enough to choose my own films, and I got into, I always liked comedy films, and because I wasn't old enough to rent out adult films, although they kind of did turn the other way sometimes, because some of the martial arts films were adults, but I used to, they used to let me rent those ones out, and so I watched every, when I was doing karate and stuff, I watched every single possible martial arts film that was

probably ever being created, and everything, you know, just untold the amount of martial arts films I watched, and yeah, yeah, we're just, I'm not talking just about the popular ones, you know, like Bruce Lee, End of the Dragon, Fist of Fury, and all that stuff.

I got, or even the Chuck Norris films, I got into Bruce Lai, which was Bruce, but L-I, and he was, he basically was sort of trying to take over from Bruce Lee, I guess, as far as making like cheap films, and although I'm not saying Bruce Lee made cheap films, because he was a, he was a huge star, but I used to watch the early Jackie Chan films before he was famous, like in America and in the West, and so I used to watch a lot of comedy films as well, and Steve Martin, I think it was The Man With Two Brains, Lonely Guy, what was the other one?

This is before he, I mean he did make a film called The Jerk, and I know that was a big film in America, and you know, it was famous in America for a long time, and I think it was probably a hit here as well, but these other films I don't think really were big films in the UK, but I just found them absolutely hilarious.

His films were so funny, and I think he wrote them, and he did everything, you know, he's very talented, and what was it, so The Man With Two Brains, and so that was where he was a surgeon, yeah, I think that was his surgeon, he was the brain surgeon or something, I think, I'm not sure, but there was another one where he, Lonely Guy, where he was quite lonely, and he, I think he had cardboard cutouts of human life-size people in his apartment, and then there was another one where he switched bodies with another person,

where he was like half woman, half man, so I can't remember what the name of that one was, unless that was The Man With Two Brains, and what other ones did he do?

Lonely Guy, The Man With Two Brains, he did quite a few films anyway, he made quite a few, didn't know that he did stand-up comedy, but I wasn't really into stand-up comedy back then, didn't really get into comedy until the late 80s, when I think it was Friday Night Live started in England, so you had Saturday Night Live in America, but we had Friday Night Live, which was a new thing, and it's mainly stand-up comedians, and like some sketches as well, but it was Ben Elton used to host it, and that's when I kind of got interested in probably comedy, so that would probably be about 87, did that start?

Yeah, I think like stand-up comedy, before that I didn't really, I think my very first stand-up show that I ever watched, like a live, I didn't watch it live, but it was a live video, was Eddie Murphy's Delirious, and I watched that, I think that was 1988, and I laughed all the way through, absolutely loved it, I think I was 17 at the time, and I think I must have rented it, I might have bought it, I don't know, but I might, I probably rented it from the video shop, but absolutely loved it, and I

did see a stand-up comedian, again, when I was about 17, and it was down at the pavilion place, down by the sea, the seaside where I lived, and I went there, was it Jack Jones, or was it, I forget his name, but he was like an old-style comedian, sort of telling gags, but he was so funny, I laughed all the way through, it was so really, really funny, I forget his name, but it was very, you know, it was very rude, very naughty, but it was very funny, and, you know, he was one of the,

I think at the time he was probably one of the best, most popular live performers in the country at that time, but he was never on television because he was too rude, yeah, I remember that, yeah, so, yeah, that was very funny, that's the only, was it, I think that was the first time I ever saw a stand-up comedian, but during my 20s, I saw hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of shows, hundreds, I don't know how many, how many comedians, on an average weekend I would see a normal show, a normal comedy show

would consist, the standard would be an opening act and then, a three acts, an opening act, a middle act, and a closing act, or maybe doing 20 minutes, maybe there'd be a 10-minute act there, maybe there'd be two 10 minutes, so there might be four comedians, and there'd be the compare, who's also a comedian, so that would be pretty much a comedy show, in a comedy club standard, it's pretty much the same now, I think, so let's say four comedians, including the compare, and I would see at least two shows a week, for years and

years and years, so that was at four, so we'd go by performances, realistically, actually, there was a period of time over a four-year period that I used to see probably four shows a week, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Wednesday would be a new act, where there would be maybe 12 comedians, so we'll ignore that one, ignore the Thursday one, where there'd be again, maybe four comedians, or three, so let's go on a Friday and a Saturday, so that's eight a week, over 50 weeks, let's say it's 51 weeks, let's just take, just say 50, so 50

times by eight, so it's 50, so it's 50, 100, 50, 200, 50, 300, 50, 400, so 400 performances a year, more than that, because I'd see other performances, so probably, realistically, 500 performances, including other shows that I'd watch in a year, over five years, over four years, so yeah, so it's about 2000 performances, comedian, like comics, performing, that I saw over four years, and then eight years previous to that, I'd seen hundreds and hundreds of shows as well, so I've probably seen about four or five thousand performances of comedians over the years, including I suppose

now on television as well, but even more than that, but like live, in performance, I've seen thousands and thousands of performances, isn't it weird when you work out how many, how many Sebastians does it take to change a light bulb, it doesn't matter how many you've got, because none of them know what a light bulb is, it's sort of one of the, one of the, one of the things, I had this friend, he went to the opera, and he's so excited, he got excited, got dressed up, put his dress on, everything like that, he got

all nice, and he's really had a great time in the opera, looking forward to it, spent about three, four months waiting to go to the opera, every day, like, oh, how many more sleeps do I have before I can go to the opera?

He talked to the calendar, the calendar would say, Sebastian, Sebastian, I only have another 70 more sleeps, and the opera will be here, we have to go and watch people making noises, very high-pitched noises, on a stage, it'll be wonderful, and then when you get home, you'll be able to go on Facebook, and say something rude to your friend, while he's doing a live broadcast, and as you bring this to an end, I'm going to say goodbye, and I will be back with another Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Tomorrow, probably, I'll also be doing a deep, deep sleep whisper ASMR session, which I try and do regularly, as well, maybe every day, available on my website, so if you watch the videos, and if you ever want to, you know, even if you want to download stuff, you can go to my website, every MP3 I've ever produced, pretty much, is available on jasonnewland.com, and every time I do a new session, I do upload the MP3 onto my website, and on that page, also, gives you the ability to stream the audio, and to stream the video on that page, as well, so everything's available.

I did try and put a YouTube video that I was streaming live onto my website, and the reason why it didn't play, wasn't because I'd cancelled the ability for people to post messages, it was because I don't have enough subscribers, so you have to have a thousand subscribers before you're able to embed a live broadcast onto a website.

So thank you very much for watching, please subscribe if you haven't already, please like the video, leave a comment, and I wish you a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy new year. Love you, and kisses, and cuddles, and I'll speak to you soon. Bye.