#78 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (14th January 2019)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

I should call it Yawdy Yawdy In A Squeaky Chair. That'd be another title. So thank you for joining me and I'm just going to move the microphone a little bit away from my mouth just in case I swallow it.

So yeah, only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. And I've been making a few changes lately and something that I was not going to do until my 50th birthday has kind of begun early. And I'm not talking about the male menopause.

I'm not talking about, you know, buying a sports car. The plan that I had was when I hit 50, did I say 40 or 50? I meant 50. At the end of August next year, so 2020, I was going to launch my business and start charging or selling MP3s.

Now that seems to have come early, a lot earlier than I realized. I'm not really sure why or how I need to think through it really and how it's come about. But the situation as it is now is that every recording that I produce going back from basically this year, so from the 1st of January 2019 onwards, every recording will be available to purchase.

For £1, £1 UK sterling. You can download it from my website. So that can be your way to support me so that I can continue to support you.

Or I can continue to make these recordings or other similar kind of things for hopefully, hopefully, the rest of my working life is what I'd like to do. And when I say working life, and as long as I'm able to physically and mentally make recordings, I've got this idea. It's like, oh, what is it going to be like when I'm in my 70s or 80s? Imagine I come out with some weird stuff now.

Imagine what it'll be like then. So in 40 years time, when I'm 88. Oh, I can't wait.

Well, I don't, I'm not, you know, wishing 40 years away, but can you imagine? It'll be 40 years and I'll be thinking, I'll be saying to it, well it's now, so that means 50, trying to figure out what's the, so how many years have I been doing this now? So 2006, 2016, 1789. So I'd say 13 years at the moment. Although realistically, it's probably a few months into 2006 that I actually made my first recording.

But, you know, the ball was started, the website was purchased, you know, all that stuff. Unless I might have got the website earlier than that, I don't know. Maybe 2004.

Anyway, I'm just thinking, so 40, so that's 12, 13 years. So that'd be, yeah, so when I'm 88, I'll have been doing this for 53 years. So 85, I'll have done it for 50 years.

Oh, I don't know. 86, I don't know. Just trying to work it out.

Yeah. So imagine that, so 85. So when I'm 75, I'd have been doing it for 40 years.

And that's a reasonable age to still be doing stuff, considering in my situation, I'm going to be pretty much 70 before I'm able to retire. Maybe 69, 70, that kind of period. Years ago, when, you know, like my dad's age, you know, that kind of, his kind of age group, you could retire at 65.

But they changed the rules as I kind of became an adult one. Over the years, it's gone like further and further. So I have to work longer.

So I've actually already worked enough years and paid in enough to have already contributed towards my pension. So my government pensions already taken care of. How funny is that? I remember I got a letter years, was it when I was at university? Back in, was that 2000? Probably about 2009.

I got a letter from the government saying, you've missed, you know, you haven't paid any contributions towards your pension for the last two years. Because I hadn't worked, I'd done, you know, I was at university. And he said, you've only got three years left to work to pay it off anyway.

But did you want to contribute towards those two years? And I think I'd paid something like 26 years in, into the pot, you know. But anyway, that's not really that relevant. I don't know why I'm telling you.

It's just, just remembered for some reason. So yeah, I have, I'm dead tired. This is the latest night I've had for a while.

I've been going to bed fairly early in the evening and getting up quite early in the morning. It was after last week, I was unwell and it's all over the place. And some of my habits have kind of changed a bit lately.

So I'm just more in touch with the day and the night, if that makes any kind of sense. So I used to stay up all night for pretty much the whole of last year, I'd say. I was up most of the night.

Go to bed, maybe four, maybe five, six, seven. But I prefer to perhaps get back to the old way I used to be. Maybe go to bed about one, get up 10 o'clock, maybe in the morning.

So still up during the day. If I would need to have a lay in, then I would, but not going to bed early. I'm not really an early sleeper.

I like to go to bed, perhaps between 12 and two o'clock in the morning. So yeah, I was just, I don't know what it was that made me make these changes, but I decided to charge from now onwards for all recordings from, as I said earlier, from the beginning of January this year onwards for the rest of time. So the MP3s can be downloaded for £1 UK sterling.

The price may change in the future, I've got no idea. But at the moment that's what the price is. So it's very, very cheap.

Just trying to think, what can I buy for a pound? Bearing in mind a pound, £1. Okay, I'll give you an idea what I can buy for a pound. I'm just thinking, go to the pound shop, there's lots of stuff.

So if I go into Iceland, the superstore, where's it's like a frozen, not a yogurt, it's a frozen, it's a place where you can buy frozen food, like a shop. But they also sell other stuff that isn't frozen, which is on sale outside of the freezers. The frozen stuff's in the freezers.

And I don't always go in there to buy frozen things. Sometimes I go and buy, maybe go and buy some milk, or maybe just a few bits, cans of Coke or some vegetables. I'm trying to say vegetables without laughing, but I have eaten vegetables.

It has happened. And sometimes I'll actually go into the main Iceland, and that involves traveling about 12 miles or something like that on a bus, and then getting the delivery. So going around with the trolley and getting a whole week's food, a whole week's worth of bananas.

I don't just eat bananas. I don't think I'm walking around with a trolley full of bananas because I'm not a monkey. But even monkeys don't live on bananas.

They have other stuff, don't they? In the wild, they eat each other, I think. So I go around and I just get whatever I need. But I seem to have this mentality where I like to get things that cost a pound.

I don't know why. So if there's a special offer and it's a pound, even if it's something that I really don't like, I have to have like a bit of an internal conversation with myself, you know. I have to kind of stop myself from buying it.

It's like you don't need that. It's talcum powder. You don't need talcum powder, but it's a pound.

I know, but you don't need it. You don't need any tampons. No, but it's a pound.

It's a pound. You don't need them. You're not needed.

Condoms, regardless of how much they cost, you don't need them, do you? No, fair enough. Even if they're 10 pence, what's the point? Buy something that's going to run out. It's going to expire, and that's just sad.

Okay, can we just move on with the recording? Thanks. Cheers. And so I go to the one pound things I like, and in that store that I go into, and it's the same with a lot of places, they put the chocolates or... See, I don't think... Who calls it confectionery anymore? I know that if you're in America and maybe in Canada as well, I don't know, you might call it candy, but we don't call it candy here.

We call it chocolate or sweets. We don't use the word candy, and what they do is they put... In the shops, they put all the chocolate all on little racks right just there. It's just there.

I can see it. I want to grab one, and a lot of them are a pound for a pack. A pound for a pack of four Mars bars, or admittedly, I do sometimes pay two pound for the flakes because the flakes are a bit more expensive, and for a pound, you probably get two flakes, but for two pounds, you can get four, sometimes five flakes in a pack, and I love flakes.

I just... It's this... I don't know what it is. I just... I do love them, but I don't eat as much chocolate as I used to, but I love a deal. I love a pound deal.

So if I see something like Maltesers, the boxes of Maltesers are a pound. They're a pound in the pound shop, but they're also a pound in Iceland, and I'm guessing that Iceland and the pound shop purchase their Maltesers from the same I don't know cash and carry or seller because the same size box of Maltesers in a bigger supermarket, let's say, not even a bigger supermarket because Iceland is a huge brand, but in any of the supermarkets like Sainsbury's or Morrisons, what other ones are there?

Tesicol, and what other ones? Asda as well. So apart from Asda, they seem to all have the Maltesers the same size as in Iceland and the pound shop, but they seem to be more in the same way as my local garage is.

I go in there, it's a petrol station, so don't think that I'll go into a garage to get me, you know, do you want your car fixed? I said no, no, I just want to buy some Maltesers because that would be weird. It's a, we call petrol stations garages here, and they had some Maltesers and it was pretty much the same size box as the ones that you can get for a pound in Iceland and the pound shop and possibly in Asda and I'm sure it was something like £2. 99, maybe even more, it might have even been more than £3, which I found astonishing, especially as I just made it up and I'm not sure if it was more than £2.

99, but I don't know if I was, I'm not sure if saying that I was astonished is really correct. Because I remember I was standing, this was yesterday I think, maybe the day before, possibly, it was in the last few days, possibly yesterday, maybe today, because I don't remember going into the garage recently, so it might have been today, I mean other than, you know, I remember going in today, but I don't remember going in for a while, for a few days before that because I've not been particularly well, so not really been out.

I didn't go out Saturday or Sunday or Friday or Thursday or Wednesday or Tuesday or Monday or Sunday. So yeah, the last time I went out, apart from today, was last Saturday, which means that was, how many days is that? Sunday, one. Tuesday, two.

Wednesday, that's three. Thursday, that's four. Friday, so that's five.

Saturday, that's six. Sunday is seven. And it is Monday today.

So that's seven whole days where I was here and I didn't go out to any shops that I can remember. I did take Andre out for a walk a few times in the last, probably over the weekend, maybe Friday and Saturday, but not Sunday. Or it might, maybe Sunday as well.

Yeah, maybe Friday and Saturday. I don't recall going out at all yesterday. I'm pretty sure I didn't go out, but I did take him out today, this evening actually.

And it was weird because I was at my desk or my table and I was just working on a video and he started sort of going... What he does basically is, he's a bit too big to climb up my leg, although he could if he really wanted to, but he's very lazy and he's heavy now. And unless I wear the right kind of clothes, you know, little ladders up the legs, it's not as easy for him to climb. If he wanted to, he could.

He can pretty much get wherever he wants to if he's determined. And what he does is he does the same thing when we're walking. He gets on two legs, in his legs, puts both of his hands and pushes them against my shin.

And he does that when he wants me to pick him up. He does the same indoors as well. So if I'm at the table, he'll push his feet, you know, the same against my legs or sort of near my knees or whatever.

So, because he wants me to pick him up, so I picked him up and he had all this energy. He was just like he wanted to play and fight and just, and I couldn't kind of work it out what was going on. And then I realized that he wanted to go out or I thought that might be what it is.

I mean, it's hard to know because I've tried to teach him sign language, but you know, it'd be quicker to teach a monkey. I'm quite pleased with that. So I took him out and I went and got, I just left my tracksuit bottoms on.

I don't mean I went out just in my tracksuit bottoms and nothing else, because apart from not being fair on the neighbors and anyone else that would see me, it's not really warm enough. I don't think my nipples would appreciate it. So what I did is I put my walking shoe, it's gonna sound like some kind of, I don't know, put my walking shoes on.

I shall now put my smoking jacket on. I'm gonna put, oh dear, I'm gonna put my looking glasses on. That's my feeling gloves.

No, I say my walking shoes. They're these like, they're slip-ons and and they're kind of brown, brownie, sort of creamy brownie. And I wear them specifically when I take Andre for a walk.

That's what I was trying to establish before I confuse myself. Ah, yes. And so I put them on.

So Andre's running around, following me around, and he generally only does that when he wants to go out. And it's not that he wants to go out to go to the toilet because he's not, that's not the reason why he wanted to go out. In fact, if he can, he tries to go to the toilet before he goes out.

Or he'll hold it in till he gets back. It's annoying really. So I put my jacket on and I got his lead.

It's a harness really. It's not like a, it's not a choker lead thing, you know, like you have with dogs and stuff. It's a harness that goes around his, one bit goes around his neck and the other bit goes around his body so that I can pick him up off the floor really quickly by the lead.

And he's, you know, without any kind of discomfort to me at all. And so it's good. So I just sort of thought, I'll put the lead on him.

I think I, I'm not sure. I think I put the lead on once I had got outside maybe, or at least close to sort of leaving the building because sometimes I put the lead on before I leave the building. Sometimes I put the lead on when I'm outside.

Sometimes I'll put his lead on before I leave my flat. And sometimes, depending on the situation, I'll put the lead on before I open the door. Sometimes I put the lead on before I unlock the door because I've got quite a few locks on my door.

Sometimes I wait until after I've unlocked the door, then I put the lead on, then open the door. You know, it's a different situation. I don't necessarily have a particular routine necessarily depending upon the situation, I guess.

But I took him outside. I didn't know whether to wear a hat or not because this chair is squeaky, isn't it? When I went out earlier in the day, I didn't need gloves. It was, it wasn't cold.

It wasn't warm. It was mild. And when I got home, it was about what, twenty past three, something like that.

And it was still mild. It was still, it wasn't warm. It wasn't cold.

It was okay, you know. I didn't need any gloves on or a hat. Although I think I wore my hood when I was walking, when I left my building to start with.

I have this recollection that I did. I think so. No, it's not that important.

Unlike the rest of the story. So I wasn't sure because it was fairly mild earlier. It wasn't too cold.

It wasn't too, it wasn't warm. But then you wouldn't expect it to be warm in, you know, what was the date today? The 14th of January. So it's, you know, I know that we are moving towards spring, but, which is nice, really.

I quite like spring. Not just because of chocolate eggs and stuff. I think spring is kind of, it's a little bit like the new year in a way of perhaps making new changes, like a new life.

Maybe going to somewhere to discover, a good time to discover a new land. See what I did there? More people are discovering this new land. Especially on Spotify.

So I ended up not taking my gloves on my head with me when I took Andre out for a walk. And it was, what time was it? It was about half seven, I think. Oops, sorry, I make a bit of noise here.

It's about 7.30. Might have been earlier. Maybe 6.30? 7.30? Yeah, probably about 7.30 because it was dark outside, which is about standard this time of the year. You know, once you get to about four o'clock, it starts to get a bit dark.

And normally, this time of the year and at night, if I take Andre out, sometimes he wants to go straight back in, especially if it's cold. Sometimes he'll just decide he wants me to carry him. Other times, carrying him isn't enough.

He wants to climb inside my jacket and go to sleep, which just defeats the whole point of me going for a walk with him. I swear he said to me the other day, just wake me up when we're back, Dad. Wake me up when we're home.

No, the whole point of this is I'm taking you out for a walk. I have no other reason to go to the park at eight o'clock in the evening in the cold weather. I don't want to go to the park.

I'm going there in order for you to go out and have some exercise and get to roll around in the mud and get out of the flat. And I thought he was ignoring me. So I undid the zip, looked, and he's fast asleep.

So I just pull him back. But on this particular occasion, that didn't happen because today he was right into it. He wanted to walk.

And he wanted to walk all across the park. That wasn't enough for him. He wanted to walk all the way around the park and then back all the way through the park again.

And then when we got to where I live, he wanted to continue walking past. So I don't know what, maybe he was smelling something, but he wanted to continue his journey. He had no interest in coming home.

I had to kind of coax him a little bit, sort of get him to cross the road. And then he automatically followed his nose, which led him back to the front door. And he was happy.

I'm just going to pull my sleeve down on my jumper because it's not so much that it's not getting cold, but it's just sometimes the temperature is not a sleeve up temperature, you know? Sometimes it is though. Sometimes it's nice to have that little bit of air reaching more than just my face. That's why sometimes, probably more so in the summer, sometimes it's nice to have no socks on and just have a bit of cool air on my feet, on the bottoms of my feet and my toes.

That's what I like when I'm in bed. I like the feeling of just my feet, just without any socks on. It feels very freeing.

I mean, I've got nothing against socks. I'm not prejudiced against socks. I'm okay with them.

It's just, they're a little bit constrictive. I think some things that fit really comfortably around a part of your body, you don't necessarily want it there all the time, you know? And even though some of my socks are fairly comfortable, I just like that feeling of looseness, that feeling of foot freedom. It's nice to free the toes and let the toes wiggle.

It's just, yeah, just let my feet become part of the environment, become part of nature. It feels quite nice just imagining it. I used to have, I used to do reflexology.

I don't know if I ever told you this. I did two courses in reflexology. One was part of a, it was like a holistic therapy course that I did at college back in 2003.

That started, I think, in September. And it included full body massage, Swedish massage, and what else? Reflexology, Indian head massage, aromatherapy as well. And part of the training was also studying anatomy.

I think I used to call it anatomy. And I didn't complete the course, but I did learn, I didn't get to learn the Indian head massage, but I did get to learn quite thoroughly the actual massage, the full body massage, and the reflexology. And I practiced on lots of people as well.

But I didn't complete the course, so I wasn't qualified. And then in 2005, I did a reflexology course that I paid for privately. It was this, you know, it's part of the Reflexology UK, whatever, organization.

And it was, I think, one weekend a month for a year or something like that. So I did a few weekends, and then I stopped doing it. So I didn't complete it, but I did learn a lot.

I learned, because the basics of it is there. It's all mapped out. I had loads of books on the subject as well.

And I think when it comes to things like reflexology, it's about practice. It's about experience, gaining the experience, and gaining that knowledge from that experience. The actual, the fundamentals, the basics are in some ways not that difficult to learn.

Andre must have heard me talking about him, because he's just decided to run over and run over to the paper that's behind my chair. So I guess he's just having it all read. Reading the paper.

That's the advantage he's got, because his toilet is the paper. With me, I actually have to take the paper in with me. And I read that on the toilet.

He can read his toilet. What a lovely visual that was. So yeah, I learned reflexology.

I did it with my nan, did it with my dad. I did it with friends. I did practice it.

And my interest with reflexology was helping people to reduce their chronic pain symptoms, or the physical sensations, the same way that that was what I found interesting when I first learned about hypnosis. That you can reduce physical sensations of some, you know, for someone that's experiencing, you know, difficulties physically. And that fascinated me.

And I decided, I think, back in 2003, 2004, that I was, I wanted to devote my life to helping people with chronic pain, to help them to reduce it. And I wanted to do a degree, like a chronic pain course, and not just use hypnosis, which is something that I knew about, and I studied quite a few years earlier. And I had books on the subject, books on chronic pain.

And so I studied the subject quite thoroughly, not just from a hypnotic perspective, but from a psychological perspective, and from a physical perspective, anatomically, and all that stuff. And with the internet, it was quite easy to do some research and, you know, find people around the world that were helping others to reduce their chronic pain using various different techniques, like acupressure, and acupuncture, and reflexology, and Reiki, and hypnosis, and a thing called No Easy Therapy, and meditation, mindfulness. I did a mindfulness course that's based on, it's called Breathworks, and it's based on helping people with chronic pain to reduce it.

And it's like a meditative technique. So then I did that, because it was a week-long retreat, a Buddhist retreat course that I did. So it's quite intensive.

Was it a week or 10 days? That was back in 2005, I think. So yeah, I was really into all this different angles when it came to reducing people's pain, chronic pain. And I'm not sure really what happened with all that stuff, because I used to, I did go into it, and I started a pain relief free service in the town I was living.

And I did that for a while. And that led me to other things, and kind of led me to doing this. You know, it's all kind of led towards what I'm doing right this second.

I'd like to do, and I will do, much more in the line of the pain relief stuff, because that was my passion. Because of all the people that I saw face-to-face and did hypnosis with them for chronic pain, every single one of them that was successful, every single person successfully reduced the sensation that was causing the problems. And I find that just phenomenal, that the power of being able to, for the mind to just listen to a bunch of words, and to be able to imagine, use imagination and creativity, and to transform the way you feel, is such an amazing gift, really, that we all have within us.

Because if you think about it, really, no matter how you feel, and how, because some people do say, oh, nothing was going to change the way I feel. But if someone gave you a winning lottery ticket, or even just gave you a suitcase full of money, or handed you a, you know, your grandchild or your child for the first time, or, you know, anything like that, it's just, the way you feel is going to change in an instant. Or it could be something, you know, your favorite singer, your favorite actor, someone that you, you know, admire, or, you know, that you really, really like.

You could be sitting in a hospital bed, feeling sorry for yourself, which is something that I'm sure I would do. But then if, imagine if I was sitting there in a hospital bed, and I'm trying to think of someone that I really admire. And who do I like? Who would I get excited about meeting? Could it be a singer? What singers do I like? Okay, not a singer then.

Okay, a boxer. So if I was there, and I was feeling sorry for myself, which I'm good at sometimes, and let's say Tyson Fury, or Anthony Joshua, or any of the great boxers, Prince Nassim, or imagine Tommy Hearns, or Sugar Ray Leonard, you know, Nigel Benn. Just someone walked in and said hello.

I just feel different. I'm just like, wow, straight away. And to this day, one of the most exciting meetings I've ever had.

It's very brief. But I met Lloyd Hunnigan, who's the world to weight king, boxing champion. In about 1986.

He was absolutely the best, brilliant boxer. And I was so excited when I came face to face with him. And it was very brief, but it was like, wow.

And that was exciting. And I completely forgot about anything and everything. You know, I was at work.

I even kind of forgot what my job was. I was just like in awe. This man that I used to watch on a television screen, and I watched all of his fights, you know, from when he won the world title.

And, you know, it was exciting just to see him. And something like that shows how quickly we can feel differently. How easy it is to change how we feel.

And obviously you could say, yeah, but how am I supposed to get Mariah Carey to turn up in my kitchen? Just trying to figure a good room in the house to choose. I'll choose kitchen, just a neutral place. Or living room.

And Mariah Carey might be the person that would, it doesn't have to be a celebrity. It could be seeing a squirrel in the garden. I remember years ago, I think it was 2003, probably around December time.

I don't know why, but this woman walks in to the shop that I was working in. And there was this little girl still in a pram or a buggy. She wasn't a baby, but she was, I don't know, maybe two.

And she had a lollipop, which was about the size of her head. So all I could see was the woman walking, pushing this, I don't know, pram thingy with this little child with a hat on, because it was cold, I guess, outside. But I couldn't see her face because this lollipop was the size of her head.

So I had no idea what she looked like. Just because the lollipop was there. And I was just intrigued because I hadn't seen a lollipop that big.

And I'm like, how, where'd you get that from? Anyway, the lady asked the question. She wanted to know where the mirrors were or something. And I said, well, you're looking in there.

I pointed to where they were. And this little girl slowly put the lollipop down a little bit so I could see her face. And she had the biggest smile I've ever seen.

She had the happiest face I've ever seen on any human being ever in my life. That lollipop, that big giant lollipop had made her a happy little girl. It's like she literally won the lottery.

Not that she'd understand what the lottery was. She was so happy with that lollipop. That's all I can guess what it was.

She was so, it's the biggest smile. And I couldn't stop laughing because it's just, it was so joyful. It was like, I remember saying to my mom, like, what? It's just like, I've never seen anyone that happy.

I just always remember that. I don't really know why. I suppose it's just a nice moment.

And a nice moment is always a nice moment to end the recording, which is what I'm going to do right now. So I will upload this and you will be able to, I'll share the link from the website onto YouTube, no, onto Facebook and various places. You'll be able to download or stream this recording.

You can stream it live, you know, stream it on my website for free. So you can listen to it first to see if you like it or not. And then you can download it and it's one pound to download.

But you know, if you think about it this way, isn't it better that one pound goes to me than to a bar of chocolate or something like that? Actually, no, I choose the chocolate. But you know what I mean. Basically, it helps support me to do this.

And in the short term, it helps to cover the costs of doing this. And I hope that as it grows, I will be able to then be able to pay my rent and buy food and, you know, those kinds of things. And it will be groovy.

So thank you. I'll also be making a video. So this will be available to watch on video.

It'll be like a little candle flickering for the duration of this session. So thank you. If you're watching on YouTube, please subscribe, share, comment, like and all that stuff.

And if you've downloaded the recording, thank you for supporting me. And there will be another one of these probably tomorrow. I did record a deep sleep whisper ASMR recording earlier today.

So that was number 17, I think. No, it was 18. I lose track.

So that was downloaded. So that's available to download as well on my website. So thank you.

Have a great evening, day, sleep, time. My name is Jason Newland, jasonnewland.com. Lots of love. Bye.