#45 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (11th October 2018)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com This is let me bore you to sleep video slash mp3 download. Usually, with these particular sessions, I don't video myself. But due to recent things, recent occurrences, I've decided to maybe make a few more videos.

And as you can see, the microphone, I'm also recording myself as well. And I'll edit the video so that the good recording is added to the video. So it makes it all a bit nicer.

So this really is a creaky chair. It feels a bit weird filming myself doing this because normally, I just lay back and relax, you know, and don't really think about. I don't know, I suppose I get a little bit, there's a little bit of self-consciousness when I'm recording myself videoing it.

You know, just aware, you know, I've got to make myself look like a supermodel and, you know, it's just got to make myself look really good for the camera. And although it's not hard work, let's say it is hard work to look this good. It took 48 years to look like this.

A lot of work's gone into this. So only watch this video or listen to the mp3 if you can safely close your eyes, because this is specifically supposed to bore you to sleep. And that's what my intention is.

And even though, in all honesty, the things I talk about are highly exciting to me. I was thinking about this earlier when I was going to the toilet. I think what it is, is that I discovered quite a long time ago that nobody really was interested in what I had to say.

Nobody was interested in what I wanted to talk about. I mean, to this day, I've had such a tiny amount of interest in, from my friends, family, whatever, in the hypnosis or the stuff that I do online, minimal interest from people that I know. So I stopped telling people, I stopped talking to people about it.

And so now I'll make videos telling you stuff that nobody's interested in. And that's the point, is to feel bored. You know, the same way as when you're, maybe you get on a bus or a train and you've had a long day at work and maybe you're going to be sitting on the train for an hour.

You just want to be able to maybe read your paper or listen to some music or maybe stare out the window or perhaps even go to sleep. You just want to be able to wind down and have that space. And then somebody comes and sits next to you, or you get on the train and someone's, you see an arm waving at you and it's a friend or a work colleague or someone that you know, and they point to an empty space next to them.

And you sit down next to them and you have to listen to them for an hour. When all you really want to do is just close your eyes and rest your body and your mind. And the more the person talks, the more you want to just close your eyes and then they go on and on and on and on.

You just feel yourself becoming more tired. Tired. And the benefit with doing this with me, listening to me being boring or watching me being boring, is you don't feel rude when you close your eyes and drift off because that's what this is for.

So no one's feelings are being hurt. You're just doing what comes naturally. And that is just being bored.

And because I also am part of this agreement, that you can close your eyes and be bored, my part is to just be boring. Which is easy for me because I can tell you about the things that I'm interested in. Things that I don't find boring.

And you can be bored. And as I go into great detail about something that may have happened, I may also just make stuff up as well. And you may not know what's made up and what's true and it doesn't matter because it's not important.

It's just a bunch of words formed into sentences that may make sense but may not be necessarily relevant to your life in this moment. Which means you can just drift away. Drift.

And naturally, sleeping is just the natural reaction to hearing someone like me talking. And talking. And talking.

And my phone is just cut off. That's great. I can relax now.

So my phone, for some reason, which I was recording, making a video, has decided not to record anymore. I don't know why that is. So I've got an iPhone and it's telling me that the storage is full.

But I don't understand why. It doesn't make any sense to me. Why is it full? Didn't expect it to bleep like that.

But it's not going to stop me from recording. I'm still going to... Luckily, it's good that I do have this recorder, microphone recording me. Otherwise that would have been a wasted 10 minutes.

And, you know, that was some of my best work. Oh dear. So according to this, I'm using 4.5 gigabytes of 50 gigabytes.

So how can I be short of storage? That doesn't make sense to me at all. No, no, no. This probably isn't the time to get too involved in that.

It's like all these backups. Data to backup Vimeo and StarMaker Lite and Podbean, voice recorder, messenger, radio, public, YouTube, TED, studio, Amazon Music, Drive. That's only 937 KB, is that kilobytes or I don't know.

Google Home, Chrome, Facebook, Easy Timer. I use this... What's an Easy Timer? I've got a kitchen timer. I've got this app on my phone called Kitchen Timer.

It's really good because it's a bit like having an egg timer. Remember those... What I say remember, I remember my grandmother, she used to have this egg timer, but it was actually an egg. It wasn't actually an egg.

It was shaped like an egg. It wasn't physically an egg. Because it just couldn't do anything, could it? But it was shaped as an egg.

And I'm sure that she used to turn it and twist it to set it for a certain amount of time. And then it would let off a sound. I'm pretty sure it sounded like a chicken.

But that bit's a little bit made up. I'm not sure. But we used to... So we had a kitchen.

So where we used to live, where she used to live, we used to walk through the front door. It used to be a tree on the left side. So it was a council estate originally where my nan lived.

And I actually lived there myself when I was between the ages of seven and eight. I lived there. With my family.

And I was just trying to think of it. At the time when we moved in, it was brand newly built. This was in 1977.

And... Or 1978 or something like that. And we... It was still a building site. So... Of course, my house, well, not my house, but the house that we moved into was newly built.

But there were other houses still being built along the... You know, on the area, on the estate, the council estate. So when I lived there, it was a council house. And... Then I moved out when I was... Yeah, eight.

Because my little brother was born when I was eight. And so we moved to a bigger house. And then my nan and granddad moved in to that house.

To... So they lived there for a long, long time. 30 years or something. And... So I remember there used to be... There used to be a tree on the left-hand side.

As you walked in, down the pavement, there was a bit of grass on either side of the pavement, leading up to the front door. So on the right-hand side of the front door, there was the window to the living room, the lounge. And the window above that would be the bedroom where my nan and granddad... That's their bedroom.

Or that was their bedroom. And then you got the front door. But above the front door was the window to the small bedroom.

Which is a bedroom I used to live in. I used to sleep in when we first moved in. And I used to have a picture of Bruce Lee from Men of the Dragon on the wall.

And... So that's the front of the house. It was a brick house. And... Even when I think about it today, I don't... I had the mixture of remembering living there.

But because I only lived there for quite a short period of time, really, in reality, it was probably less than a year. And I just put my phone down. And... Living there for... Yeah, I think if I'd have just lived there and moved out and never gone back, then I probably would... Probably this would have been another place that I'd lived.

But because I was constantly visiting, all through, you know, my childhood and adulthood, even like in my 30s, I'm still visiting that house. So it... It has a big... It's probably the... That house, although it's owned by other people now and has been for years, that house was probably the happiest building, sort of, in my memory. The one that I connect quite a few nice emotions to.

And... We had lots of birthdays and various different celebrations that we had over the years in that house. Anyway, you've got the front door to the left. There was a gate.

And... If you won't get... I think quite often we'd just go through the gate and say, Hi, Nan, Grandad, you know, just let them know we're here. Now I think as we got older, it's still... I think when my Nan was there on her own, the gate would be locked and I'd knock on the front door. Or if the gate was locked, I'd knock on the front door.

And... It was a brown gate, quite high. Even now, I wouldn't be able to see over it. So it's probably about a six foot high fence.

And... You go through the fence and there was a... On the left hand side, it was like a... Not a coal bunker, but like a storage cupboard. Where I suppose you could keep bins and garden stuff, you know. Brushes and... I'm trying to think of things that go in the garden.

But you know, just bits. I can't remember really what we used to keep in there. Or even what my Nan used to keep in there.

Because the garden changed quite a lot after we moved out. After I moved out, because my Grandad was a very keen gardener. So he transformed the garden.

And it wasn't a big garden, but he made proper use of it. He really made it beautiful. So when I lived there, it was quite bare, because it had just been built.

And even the garden, when we first moved in, the garden was just like quicksand. It was so muddy. And would end up going down to nearly my waist in mud.

Because the ground hadn't settled. Then eventually it did. And I think my Dad put grass down and got it going a bit.

But I know we didn't live there that long, so we didn't have enough... We had a huge amount of time to get it all. Or we, he, I suppose. But... And also because it was new, didn't need decorating or anything.

Which is quite nice, part of my Bruce Lee picture. Poster. And I think one of my... I've got a couple of happy memories from that time.

And one was... A few, I suppose, just thinking about it now. I remember I was... I had my first Cornetto when I was in that house. So this is probably 1978.

Probably the summer, possibly. June, July, May, I don't know. And I can't remember what kind of Cornetto it was.

So it might have been chocolate. It might have been mint, chopstick, or minty. It may have been a strawberry one.

But at that age, I'd never had anything like it. I mean, I'd had ice cream. But I'd never had... And I had ice cream in a cone, you know, like a... You know, when you go down to the beach.

And you get those cones. And somebody hands you the ice cream. And when you're a kid, you don't wonder where... Whether or not they've washed their hands or not.

But I hadn't learned about health and hygiene at that point. I haven't had an ice cream for years. Not like that.

But I had this Cornetto and just... I just remember I was there with my two brothers. And it's just a nice little experience. Another happy memory is we had a really, really... As I'm guessing, bearing in mind... We moved out shortly after my little brother was born.

So I must have... It must have even been the beginning of 1978 or the end of 77. We had a real lots of snow, a real huge amount of snow. All the schools were closed and it was up to my waist.

But I was very tiny, I was only little. So it was probably a good... I don't know, three foot of snow, probably. So it was quite a lot of snows.

And we went sledding with my dad. I didn't really like that. There's something about... You know, I like to be in control.

And going down a hill on a sled was a little bit too daring for me. Plus it was cold. But I managed to do something in the snow that... There's all these noises happening at the moment.

That I don't normally have. Computers making a noise, the phone made a noise. I'm probably gonna find out that it hasn't even recorded.

Hopefully it has. So I had this snow thing. I built an igloo.

I actually built an igloo. And I don't know what it was. I think it was the focus.

Because once I started on it, I couldn't stop. I was absolutely obsessed with it. And I was making these little bricks, putting the bricks together.

And I was mixing cement, even though it was like mud and snow together. To make the cement between. And I was doing pointing and everything.

I don't mean pointing at it, but pointing the brickwork. So it's a building thing. And it was so sturdy and so well made that it lasted way beyond the snow.

So all the snow's melted. It was even fairly nice weather. In fact, it might still be there now.

It was so well made. Lasted for years that way. It lasted for quite a while.

I think one of my brothers probably broke it up and stood on it. That sounds about right. But it might not have happened.

It might have been me that did it. It might have just melted. But it was really good.

In my memory, it was really good. I used to go in there and it was cool. Well, it was quite warm, actually, because it was so professionally made.

So I kind of found my calling at quite an early age. But the problem is nobody needed igloos being made for them in my town. There was no call for it.

There was no demand. So I was clearly born in the wrong part of the world, which is a shame. Let me think what other nice memories I've got of that place.

I remember my little brother being born. But he wasn't born there and I didn't see him being born. But I remember, because it was around my birthday time, my nan and grandad came down to look after us while he was in hospital being born.

And I got a set of golf clubs, a putting set for my birthday. But these were really heavy metal, proper steel with orange rubber handles. Still remember them because they were heavy.

And I really, really enjoyed it. And the holes were these plastic holes, but they had like a little ramp. So, you know, you could hit the balls that went up the ramp and into the hole.

And you can put it as far away as you wanted from yourself. And it was really, I really liked it, actually. Because it's a very focused thing, isn't it? I think what I liked about that, you know, I've never played golf, I was going to say.

I've never played professional golf. I've never played amateur golf. I've never been on a golf course.

But I think for me, if I ever did, it would be about the focus. It'd be about, I imagine it'd be fun. But possibly frustrating at the same time.

But it's the putting that I quite like the idea of. Not the big long range shots, which I can't quite get my head around, really. It seems to be, it's amazing that they can hit a ball, such a tiny ball.

And not only hit it, but how the heck do they find it again? You know, it doesn't have a tracker on it. Yeah, so that was quite nice. So I can't really remember what the living room used to look like when I lived there.

But when my nan and grandad lived there, there was... So if you go into the front room, so the front room was near the front door. At the bottom of the stairs, there was a phone. That's where the phone was.

And it was on a cabinet or like a little table. So that's where the phone was. And I think there would have been... Yeah, there'd been a mat on the carpet as you come in, so you could wipe your feet.

I'm pretty sure we used to take our shoes off when we went in there. I can't remember, I think so. So you could go directly upstairs.

You just turn to the left a little bit and then go upstairs. Or you just go straight. So turn right into the living room, go straight down.

And to the left, there was the cupboard under the stairs. And I think my nan used to keep the vacuum cleaner and other cleaning stuff under there. Then if you go straight ahead, keep going, that's where the toilet was.

So it was a downstairs toilet. And it's quite a small toilet, but big enough for pooing and weeing and stuff. You know, it's big enough to do... What else do you need a toilet for? So it was quite good, it wasn't... If you wanted to play the violin in there, there probably wasn't much room.

But just for basic toiletry things. And there was a window which opened, which is always a good thing. There was a sink, so the toilet was there ahead of you.

Sink was on the... I'm pretty sure the sink was on the right-hand side from the toilet. On the left-hand side as you walked in. So that's the toilet.

So when you come out of the toilet, you turn left, and that's the kitchen. Turn right, and there was a cupboard on the right-hand side. And then there was the back door.

So I don't know what the cupboard was there. So just... I can't remember what was in there. But it's more just like a storage cupboard.

Because I think with the council houses and council flats, including the flat that I live in here, they're quite good for storage. I've got a very... quite a large storage room. And I think that's what it used to be like with the old... the old-style flats and houses that were built, you know, 40, 50 years ago.

It was... they were quite generous with their space. It's like where I live. It's quite a... it's a fairly big... big rooms in here.

There's lots of space. It's not... it's not cramped. You know, I've lived in... In the last place I lived in, it was probably... The whole thing was about half the size of this room that I'm in now.

And then a little bit... a little bit of a kitchenette at the end. So I had... there was enough room really for a bed. Single bed.

And then a desk at the end. A table or whatever at the end near the window and that was it. So here it's... Yeah, it's at least twice the size.

This was just one room. It's twice the size of that last room that I lived in. And my bedroom is pretty much the same size as this.

A little bit smaller but around the same size. There's a kitchen, bathroom, hallway and storage room. So it's quite nice to have a little bit of space and I'm quite... What do they call it? Apart from boring, I'm quite... Minimalist.

I don't have lots of things or clutter. The only real clutter that I have is Andre's toys that are all over the place. Apart from that, I don't have much in the way of clutter.

That doesn't mean it's tidy. I just don't have much stuff. I've got one chair, one television in the living room.

I don't have a television in my bedroom simply because I don't want to spend time in bed watching television. I want to have the bed as a place to sleep. Otherwise, I know there's potential that I'll just end up going back to my old ways of laying in bed all day watching telly.

I don't want to do that. I used to be like that in the past. But then there was a reason for it because that's... I lived in a room with a bed and the television was there.

So I had no choice but to sit in bed watching telly because that was my living space as well. So now that I've got... In the last three years, I've had two rooms to live in. I've kept the television in the living room.

Although it is tempting sometimes. I could take my laptop into the bedroom and watch Netflix and watch television on the laptop. But I don't.

Maybe I should. Maybe I will. So that was that storage room.

I'm not sure what was in there. That was my nan's house. Then there's a turning back.

You got the... You're going in the front door, go all the way down. Before you get to the toilet, you turn right and that's the kitchen. And it was a nice kitchen.

Really nice. Quite spacious. And when I lived there, bearing in mind there was five of us before my little brother was born.

So my dad made this table. It was a granite table. I don't know.

It was like he made it out of stone. I don't know exactly how he did it, but it was very sturdy. But it was... And he did it in such a shape and made it in such a way that all of us could fit around there.

But not just us. It was big enough to fit about 20 people around. And again, I might be exaggerating, but it could fit quite a few people around it.

Because we had... We had at least, I imagine, one Christmas there. I imagine, yeah. And it was there for a couple of years or for a few years after.

And eventually my granddad took it down and just put a table in there. Because he didn't want it anymore. But we used to have... When my nan and granddad used to have parties, birthdays, anniversaries, things like that.

So there'd be uncles, aunts, cousins. And everyone would manage to sort of fit around that table. So it's quite amazing, really, how many people could fit into the house.

It wasn't a tiny house, but it wasn't a mansion either. But the amount of people that could fit in there was pretty amazing, really, I think. I don't know.

I think I said that earlier. Pretty amazing. I'll say it one more time.

Pretty amazing. Yeah, pretty amazing. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty amazing.

So the kitchen, my memory of it really is of just having the table there. So in the later years, just bearing in mind, they moved in in 1980. So by, yeah, by 85, I reckon that table was gone, and it was just a normal kitchen.

You know, a normal table was in there, which opened up the place, because they didn't need the space as much as they did before. And, you know, most of the grandkids had kind of grown up, they were older now, they weren't little anymore. So it made the room bigger, made the kitchen bigger.

So it's very much a kitchen dining room. There's enough room for, clearly, quite a few people to eat and sit around a table. And my name was, that's the computer again.

So normally, when I make these videos, or these mp3s, recordings, whatever you want to call them, I put the laptop lid down, I try and make everything quiet, close the window. The only sound really that there could be possibly is the odd fart and Andre. He might run out and jump on me or something, there's a possibility of that.

But it's better that I leave him out, because if I put him in his cage, when he climbs down, because he's got one, two, three ramps, four ramps to walk down, to get to the bottom, if he needs to go to the toilet or whatever he wants to do. So it makes more sound than if he just runs across the floor. Not that I should be too bothered.

It's just sound, isn't it, really? A little bit. It's just one of those times where the phone stopped working, so I couldn't, the video stopped working while I was trying to record this. The laptop keeps making weird noises.

I suppose that's the only thing, really. But it did throw me off, though, when the video stopped. Because my intention, my intention is to only upload videos, like proper videos to YouTube, where it's me talking, like you can see me on camera.

I wasn't, I've got no intention really of uploading just audio. But I can upload the audio to the SoundCloud podcast and also put it onto my website. So this will still be there, it just, it won't be on YouTube, which is okay, I suppose.

But I need to sort out the phone. Need to figure out what's going on, I don't really understand that. It was okay, a couple of weeks ago, I made about three or four videos, daily hypnosis videos, and the phone worked absolutely fine.

And now it's playing up. I do not know what's going on, generally. I don't know.

So let me see, what else? Right, so I'm in Nan and Grandad's house. So I've done the kitchen. I'll tell you a couple of things I remember about the kitchen.

So as I go in, as you're walking, on the left hand side was where, I'm pretty sure that's where the fridge freezer lived. That was just there on the left hand side. And then there was units, kitchen units, all the way around.

The sink was just in front of the window, which was to the left. So if you walk in to the left, there's a big window that you could see out into the garden, the back garden, from that window. And so there was a big sink in front of that window.

And then there was some more cupboard units. And then there was a clock on the right hand side on the wall. So if you were facing the window and you just turned to your right, the wall there, pretty sure that's where the clock was.

But then if you're facing the window and take, let's say, two steps to the left, there is a kitchen roll holder, which my granddad made. And it was, what was it made? I forget what it was. It was dark brown wood, because my granddad did carpentry for a hobby.

That was what he loved doing, as well as gardening. He used to love making things with wood. And he made loads of things.

And he had this kitchen roll holder. I don't know what happened to it, but it was on the wall. And then I'm pretty sure I had this memory that the clock had a frame, a wooden frame around it that my granddad made.

And some other things my granddad made out of wood. He probably made the table, actually. Probably made the table that was in the kitchen.

He made, we had, he used to have in, I should give you a little rough idea of the living room. So you come out the kitchen, turn left, walk towards the front door. But before the front door, on the left-hand side is the living room or the lounge.

And it used to get moved around a bit. Sometimes the TV would be one corner or the other corner, but it was always the corner where the window was. So the window didn't shine on the TV.

The light from the window. But in the corner, there used to be, so this is my memory. On the right-hand side, as you go in, the television was there.

Then there was a little table in front of the window. So the big window. And I used to look out onto the front lawn and you could see the other houses.

So that was the window that we could see before when we were looking at the front door, that window in front on the right-hand side. So that's the window. And then there was a chair in the corner.

Then there was a settee along, probably enough for two or three people. And then there was another chair on the other side of the room where my granddad used to sit. And there was a big unit, I'm not sure what it had in there, I forget.

But I know there was some drawers that you could open and there was toys. Like board games and some toys. And some of those toys were actually made by my granddad.

And one particular one was noughts and crosses. So he made noughts and crosses. So there's these blocks and they had noughts and crosses on them around.

Probably not explaining it very well, but they're made of wood anyway. And there were these squares, noughts, crosses. And you just play it the same as you do.

Instead of writing it on a piece of paper, you'd put it into the block. So if you got a noughts... So if you were, you'd have crosses, the other person would have noughts. And you put cross, cross, and you play it like that.

So you could play noughts and crosses. And he made that. And it's really sturdy.

And he also made some other little games and puzzles that were quite difficult to do. Quite difficult to work out. And something else, just to talk about my granddad.

When we moved, when we moved to another house, we had this playroom at the top of the house. And my granddad made a snooker table. He made, what he did, he made a tennis table.

And a snooker table. So a tennis table, and then the snooker table went on top of the tennis table. It was also like a billiard table as well.

And it was, it's amazing, he actually built that. Made it himself. And it was really, really good.

It's very, very clever, very talented. So I suppose we'll just go upstairs. So upstairs in their house.

I'm trying to think how many steps there were. One, two, three, four, five, six. Probably about 10 or 12 steps.

And there was a banister, a big white banister on the right hand side. And I'm pretty sure there was a, like a banister against the wall as well, but I'm not 100% for that. And you'd go up, and the first room would be the bathroom.

And go in there, oh it smelled nice in there. Always, my nan, they must have had, I think she had like flowers and, I don't know what it was, but it was like really clean and smelled nice. So the bathroom, the bathroom was on the left hand side of the room as you walked in.

And there was a shower as well. And there was toilets on the right hand side. And the sink was in the middle.

Not the room, but it was, you know, it was against the wall. And there was a window, you know, above the sink. And there was a bathroom cabinet with a mirror as well.

So coming out of there, on the left hand side was the, it was a spare room. Although, when I lived there, it wasn't a spare room, it was, we all kind of took turns living there. You know, at one point I slept in the little room, and then another time I slept in the big room with my brother.

So it's kind of, you know, but that was a spare room where my granddad and my nan lived there. And had a double bed, wardrobe, and there was a big window that looked out onto the garden. And also there was a motorway that used to go across.

There was a big like embankment of grass and just trees and all kinds of things. And then there was a motorway just above it. So the spare room that would be used by whoever was visiting, you know, like uncles and aunts.

And sometimes I'd stay over, I slept over, stayed there a few times. But it was generally the small room that I stayed in, in the later years. When I visited and I stayed over.

So you come out of the first spare room, it's quite a big room, turn left and there's an airing cupboard. So it's where you used to have the boiler, the boiler would be inside there. And I think my nan used to put clothes in there just to air them out.

And then walk a little bit further, turn left. And then that was my nan and granddad's room. That was quite a big room.

And there was wardrobes and double bed, just, you know, addresses, bed, or bedside cabinets or whatever on either side. You know, one on my nan's side, one on my granddad's side. I really don't know which side was which.

And then this big window as well. But I never used to really go in there, but went in there a couple of times. I think I helped my nan change the bed and stuff, the bedding, when she was living there on her own.

And then coming out of that room, turn left. And there was the little room, like a box room. But it was, it wasn't tiny, it was a nice, it wasn't big, but it was cosy.

And when I lived there, I think I had a bunk bed. And the bed was on the right hand side as you walked in. But when my nan and granddad lived there, the bed was on the left hand side.

And there was, I don't know what else was in there. I think it was because it was used as a, probably a little bit of storage as well. A few bits in there, but not, not messy.

Just a few, I'm not sure, but it was nice. And there's the window as well, which overlooked the front area of the house. And I remember I used to stay in that room, the small room, when I'd visit.

If I'd sort of stay over, because for quite a long period of time, I lived in London. So when I used to visit her, because she lives out of London, or she did live out of London, I'd perhaps stay overnight. Maybe at Christmas, stay over there and, you know, it depends.

But it was, I really liked it because it was something quite special, waking up and seeing her. And just, she'd make me breakfast, make me a cup of tea, and just, you know, go out of her way to do whatever she could to make me feel welcome. So yeah, that's, that's one of the houses that I'll always have, you know, quite fond memories of.

I suppose that kind of brings me to the end of this boring, let me bore you to sleep session. And I'm gonna go now. I hope it was boring enough for you.

I wish you pleasant sleep. And remember, everything that I do is all on my website, jasonnewland.com. Visit it now and check out all my stuff. And you can download this mp3, or you can just stream it on my website if you want.

I'll speak to you next time. Bye, bye. Lots of love.