#43 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (5th September 2018)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. And I do believe that this is the most amount of sessions I've ever done in any series. You know, so far, I don't know how many I've done in this one, but I've done quite a few.

I'm sure about 42, 43, something like that. I did do the 30-day relaxation plan. I did a, I think, 34-day relaxation stress relief for panic attacks course.

The hypnotic buffet, I did about 30-odd of them so far. So this is the, it's not the most of any particular genre that I've done, because I've done, recorded, quite a few relaxation sessions. I think about 100, 180, something like that.

180 or, and also the self-development slash self-help ones. So yeah, I've done a lot more of them as well. But that, you know, that kind of includes so many different things, you know.

So anyway, I should just let you know that this session that's aimed at boring you to sleep may cause drowsiness. So please only listen to this, or if you're watching it on video on YouTube or somewhere, only watch or listen when you can safely close your eyes. Because my intention is that you will really, really get bored.

And that's it. So for those of you that haven't listened to me ever before, then welcome. Thank you for joining me.

And my website, jasonnewland.com, I'll talk about that in a minute, but the, a lot of my sessions are available to download instantly free as MP3s. And you can do that. Just go there.

There's, I've basically got, I suppose, playlists are on there. You just, you go to the first page and you can see, just click on which, everything you're interested in and you can just download and you can download as many of what I've got available as you choose. So you can go on there and download 30 or 40 MP3s all at the same time.

There's a shopping cart. It's exactly the same way as if you were going to buy stuff, but at the end of it, there's nothing to pay. It's free.

And you just click download. And the shop or eShop or eRetail platform that I'm using is called Shopify. And although I'm not charging anything for the sessions, the MP3 downloads, I do pay, I have to pay them in order to use that platform.

But I'm quite pleased with how it's going at the moment. And in the future, I will be making available some premium sessions, which you can download at a price, but that's not anytime soon. And I'm smiling as I say it because it may never happen, but I had this little intention in my head.

Not one that I'm necessarily going to follow up, but I think probably about a month or two months ago, I started thinking, well, do you hear me? Do you hear me? It's like a little bubble, but I didn't mean to make that sound. It's very strange. You know, if you ever do this, what I'm doing, if you ever kind of record yourself and you're the only one in the room and you're just talking, get very kind of sensitive to the sounds.

I find it a bit more aware of the noises that come out of my mouth. You know, sometimes I'll say a word and there's a tiny little whistle at the end of it. In fact, if I say the word whistle, I can't do it when I try, but when I don't mean to do it, that's when it happens.

A bit like farting, really. The really good ones are when you don't intend it to happen. Weddings, job interviews, you know, those kind of... And even when you're bad.

That's the thing about farts is sometimes you have to let it out. You know, you can't hold it in forever. You may be in a position where, a situation where you don't really want to let out a big sound.

So I've been in plenty of places like that where I've just... I mean, a job interview is quite a good example. And I think maybe the nerves doesn't help either, especially if there's two people interviewing me. When I say interview, I'm not talking about a police interview.

I'm talking about not an interrogation, you know, like a job interview, something like that. And you have to let the gas out because it's uncomfortable otherwise. But at the same time, it's amazing how we have that natural silencer inside our kind of anus.

It's there, but perhaps we don't use... Well, I don't use it very often. If I could, I'd probably put the mouthpiece to a trumpet up there, you know, just... But I don't. I mean, I don't... Never have.

I used to play the bugle and I never, ever... I don't know. I wonder if I did. No, I never farted into a bugle.

Bugle as in not a puppy, not a dog. It's like a trumpet, but you don't do any fingering. You don't have to like push your fingers on any of the buttons at the top.

You just... You control the sound with your tongue. And you kind of... It's like doing raspberries, like that. And you can control the sound of the bugle that way.

I used to play the bugle when I was in the Sea Cadets. And I quite liked it. But I think there was something... I wasn't really into musical instruments.

But there was... I suppose the two things I did like about the musical instruments is I had some control. Because when I was younger, I didn't really feel in control of anything. When I was a kid, you know, everyone told me what to do and I didn't really have... Couldn't have a mind of my own really.

But when I played the bugle, I was in charge of that bugle. That bugle was... You know, did what I told it to do. Well, I didn't do everything I told it to do.

Sometimes I'd leave it, come back into a bedroom and I'd have to tell it off. So why is the toy still everywhere? I told you to tidy up. Wouldn't do that, but I could control the sound, which was the thing, to a degree.

You can't make a bugle sound like a harp. You see what I mean now when I said harp, harp, harp, harp. I can do harp by going harp, harp.

But that's not harp, is it? That's harp. Harp, harp. But to say harp, harp, I'm becoming more conscious of the p at the end.

Harp. And although with this microphone, I have got a pop filter. Sorry, I've just got to scratch myself.

I've got a pop filter, so that it should... I don't know if it stops the pops. Maybe that's silent. Maybe you can't hear it on the recording.

Anyway, I'll move on from that. Yes, I used to play the bugle. Oh, the other thing, other than being able to have a little bit of control over my life.

The other thing I quite liked about a bugle is when I was playing it, even though I knew that I was never, you know, I never really was going to be the best bugle player in the world. I didn't really, I kind of, I wasn't passionate about it in that way. I wasn't going to change the world.

And I was fine about that. What I liked about it is I knew that when I was playing it, when I was practicing in my bedroom, that everybody else in my house could hear it. And that they were all being disturbed by my sound, by my noise.

And I know it was childish. I was a child. It's a good time to be childish when you're a child.

I'm still childish now, but I don't play the bugle though, because I know that would just be very... it wouldn't be good for public relations with, you know, the neighbors. So I would never play a musical instrument that was like loud. Thinking about, I'm thinking about playing the guitar or learning the guitar.

Although I used to, I used to be able to play the guitar. I think my dad still has nightmares about the bugle. Although he thinks that when I played the violin, it was worse.

I think about, I've got a friend who has said that he will teach me how to play the guitar, but I need to buy a guitar first. So, and he said, well, you can get them cheap online. And yeah, but the thing is, because of my ears and you may, you may be thinking, what's it got to do with your ears? You use your fingers.

You're playing it wrong. No, I'm talking about sound. See, if you're cooking something and you want to make sure that it tastes nice at the end of it, otherwise there's no point putting that energy in if it doesn't taste nice.

And that's how I kind of feel when it comes to playing a musical instrument or learning to play the guitar. I want a decent instrument so that it sounds nice. So yeah, that kind of, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with that, whether I'm going to do it, whether I'm going to, yeah, I don't know.

I've not decided yet. I used to have a guitar. I'm trying to think how many guitars I've had.

I had, oh, I bought a guitar from the catalogue when I was about 14. And I don't know if you know what catalogue is. I mean, back 30 odd years ago, even 20 years ago, we used to have these big, massive catalogues, which would be this big book and it'd have hundreds and hundreds and if not thousands of pages where you could buy stuff, a bit like Argos.

I don't know if you have an Argos where you live, but it's a shop where you go in and it's just full of these catalogues, which you look through and that's it. I'm sure actually some of them don't have catalogues anymore. They have computer screens.

So yes, basically just going onto the internet inside the store, ordering it and then just pay for it there and then just collect it inside the store. So it's good in a sense of it's easy. It's fairly quick, but you don't get to play with the item before you pay for it.

So that's what's missing for me with the internet. You don't get to physically experience the thing. If I was going to buy a sofa, let's say if I had the money to buy a really nice sofa, I'd want to go to a sofa shop, to a store and I'd like to go in and sit down in the sofa to see if it fits my bottom, if it feels nice and comfortable.

Even buying something like a cup or a mug, sometimes it's nice to, if you're going to buy a mug, I bought one with, I got a mug that says crazy ferret man or something on it. My voice has gone all croaky. I think my voice may be breaking.

I'm going through puberty live on air. So it would have been nice. I mean, I bought the mug and it was nice when I got it through and it was cool, but it would have been, it would have been good to, I feel like I'm losing my voice.

I can't believe it. I'm going to end up whispering. Not because I want to whisper, because that's all I've got left.

Hopefully not. So it'd be nice to just have seen the mug with the design on it before purchasing it. I think that's one of the, I don't know, like a downfall of the internet is not being able to see stuff, not being able to hold it in your hand.

It's just, even things like, this is something that I used to do. It's just, it might sound bad actually, now that I'm saying it out loud, but at Christmas, I'm going back quite a few years. I used to buy people DVDs for Christmas.

And what I would do is I'd go into HMV or Virgin or whatever record store there was and buy the, you know, if they had special offers going on, you know, three for £10 or five for £20, 60 for £150. I don't know, whatever the special offers were. And I just pick a bunch of films that I'd never seen before.

So I'd take them home and I'd do this probably beginning of December, take them home. If they were already unwrapped, then that's good. But if they were, because some shops I think years ago, they'd only sell the cases.

You'd take the case to the cashier and they'd get the disc out of a sleeve and put it in. So if that was a case, then that was good. But then if it had wrapping on, it was, I was going to say soiled, sealed, it was sealed with plastic coating, then I'd unwrap it.

And I'd watch each of the movies. So let's say I bought maybe 10 DVDs. I'd watch them all.

And then I'd give them as presents. You can't do that with chocolate. So it's, that's why I kind of thought DVDs were a good, a good present.

I suppose you can do with chocolate, but I remember, it just reminds me years ago, it was December 2006. And I remember that I was going out with a lady. I was in a relationship and it's hard to believe maybe, but I did once have, you know, relationships.

And so she, I was at her house. It was actually a house that she bought for me and her to live in. So at that time I was living in Ipswich and I was living in a Buddhist community.

So I went up to, what did we do? Yeah, we went to my dad's. Yeah, that's it. I was there for Christmas.

I stayed in the Buddhist community for Christmas, even though didn't really celebrate Christmas so much, but because it's a different religion, but it's, we did still, I still acknowledged it and it was only me and my friend there. The rest of the people that lived there had gone away somewhere and they might've told me, but I may not have listened. It's a long time ago.

It was 12 years ago, nearly. Anyway, I went back, I went to, with her, my girlfriend, she had a car and she drove me and we went to my dad's house. I think it was on Boxing Day.

So she spent Christmas with her parents, Christmas Day, and then Boxing Day, she drove down, we went down to my dad's and we stayed there for the night. And then, then what happened? Oh, that Boxing Day, I remember having a conversation. So she was there and I think my dad had gone to bed, probably had, I don't know why, he just went to bed early.

And so we were there with my step-mom and we were just talking about attraction, being attracted to people. And my step-mom was saying how attracted she was to my dad. It was just a real, really, really strong attraction.

And I think I remember saying, I wish, wish I had that. You know, I wish I, not towards my dad, obviously, but yeah, I wish I had that to, that kind of feeling towards a woman. I said that to my step-mom.

And I don't think my girlfriend was too pleased the way she looked at me. You know, I kind of, I don't know, I kind of forgot what I was saying in a way, because me and my girlfriend, we were always arguing and I've never really been in a relationship that was arguments all the time. But what was strange is we didn't argue when we were at home.

There's something, it's like the going outside, there's some kind of weird oxygen thing. The oxygen level changed as we went outside and she started arguing with me. Never really did understand it because I don't normally do arguments.

It's not, it's a bit like sitting down and urinating. It's not something I generally do unless I'm not sure what's happening. You know, there are times when you just need to sit down and just let whatever happens, happen, you know.

You know, sometimes it is a case of, well, I have feelings, there's physical sensations in that area, you know, in the pelvic area, but just sit down to be safe. It's not the first time that I'd said something in front of my girlfriend that perhaps I shouldn't have said. And I didn't, it wasn't out of malice at all, it was just, it just sort of slipped out of my mouth.

And I'm sure we've all had that situation where something slips out of our mouth. It's just, I was just being honest, I suppose. That's not always a very good excuse, I know.

But another thing I remember when I was with her, I had a test. I went to the hospital and had to, I don't know what the correct term for it is, but STD test. Got tested for everything, really, to make sure that I didn't have any STDs.

Yes. Can you imagine, there's nowhere else in the world that you could find a sleep recording that talks about going into a sex health clinic. This is probably the only one.

I'm lucky it's free really, isn't it? Anyway, perhaps I shouldn't tell you about the experience, but maybe I went. It was quite weird though, because she insisted that I get tested. Yet she didn't get tested.

Kind of weird, I just, very strange situation, anyway. So I got tested and it was all right. It is inconclusive on gonorrhoea, but everything else was fine.

So I told my girlfriend, it was all clear. I'm joking. No, everything was fine.

Everything was good. And I remember I phoned them up because it took about a week or if not, maybe longer to get the results. And I was waiting on the results because I couldn't, I don't know what the right phrasing would be, but there's certain things that a new couple in love wish to do.

Let's say we couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't order the full meal when I went into restaurants. I just didn't have someone about rest. I don't know if it's just me, but you know, my favorite part about restaurants is ultimately my favorite part.

It doesn't matter who I'm with. It doesn't matter, you know, really what's going on. I don't, not really too interested in social, socializing and stuff like that.

And being in a public place with lots of strangers as well, you know, it doesn't, it doesn't make my nipples hard. I'm just saying it's, it doesn't, I'm not really into it. But the one thing I absolutely love about restaurants is the bread rolls, fresh bread rolls with butter.

I love the bread rolls, especially if I've got a glass of wine as well. Absolutely love the bread rolls. And especially when they're round, you know, just round or I suppose they can be long as well.

Not long as in the French stick. That's gone from being a bread roll to a, what's a meal, isn't it really? Or a weapon, depending on what you use it for. I love bread, bread rolls.

Oh, I absolutely love them. God, it reminds me, you know, when I, I've just finished my degree. This is in 2010.

So me and probably maybe five other people, maybe, maybe more were sitting around a table in a, in a restaurant, which is part of a hotel, which we used to go into sometimes and meet up. So we went there to, basically to celebrate the ending of the course, the ending of the three-year full-time degree. And so I was sitting at the table with the other people also, they were sitting at the table as well.

They weren't sitting like in the middle of the floor, you know, with their back to me, they were at the table with me as well, facing me, not facing me particularly, but because I think it was a round table. So I guess technically they're facing maybe one person, maybe three. It depends how you look at it.

Um, unless of course you include peripheral vision. Well, it might be in a square table, it might be in two square tables put together. Pretty sure it's a round table.

Anyway, we're all there. I was eating my bread rolls and I don't remember what I ordered to eat. Um, that, that hasn't really stuck in my mind because of what happened.

And so what happened is there was this elderly man and he walked up a couple of steps or one step to where the coats were hanging. I think the toilets might have been in there as well. I'm not sure.

I don't remember whether or not I needed to use a toilet at that particular time because the restaurant that was in a hotel and the hotel also had toilets. So I don't, I don't keep a track of all those moments, you know, it's, uh, I don't think it'd be a very good journal to read. But hey, um, so what happened is this elderly man, I say elderly, I would say in his seventies, maybe younger, maybe older.

I don't know. But I'm bearing in mind at the time I was 40. So that's 30 years older than me, if not older.

The age isn't really the issue, but he started to tremble and he looked like he was in pain and he looked like he was going to fall over. So I get my camera out, you know, I thought I'll stick this on YouTube. No, I didn't.

I got up and I went to, I just went over and asked him, is he okay? And he, someone else also got up at the same time. Well, I don't know if it's exactly the same time. I didn't have a timer.

We didn't have different people, one person. Okay, Lisa, you, you time me getting up and Veronica over there, you, you time Bob as he gets up and let's see whether it's, you know, it matches. It wasn't, that's, it wasn't planned.

I didn't know what was going to happen. I'm sure that Bob didn't either. I don't know if that was his actual name, Bob, but you know, he was, he was in the same, similar situation to me.

It just saw this elderly man that looked like he was perhaps in trouble. I thought, I actually thought that he was having some kind of a medical issue. So I went over and asked him, is he okay? And he was rude to me and to the other man as well.

And I thought, oh, okay. And he was shouting a little bit and I didn't really know what was going on. So I just left him.

So, okay. So I went back to my table. So the people that were with Bob, again, I don't know if that's his real name, could be Steve, could be Herbert, could be Elvis.

However, I've not ever met one person called Elvis in my life, ever. Which surprises me because so many Elvis fans, or there were, you know, back in, you know, when I was a kid, you'd think there'd be like thousands and thousands of little Elvis's running around that are now, you know, what, my age in their fifties. But unless they're where you live, but there's, maybe you have a, live in a road full of Elvis's, I don't know.

But I, I don't, I've never ever met an Elvis. There's one person years ago that was, he used to hang around the arcade. He was an adult though.

So I couldn't quite understand now thinking back or he was hanging around all the children, but he used to have his hair back, the grease back and everyone called him Elvis. Cause he'd wear a leather, leather jacket and maybe leather jeans. And he had his hair that looked like, oh, you know, young Elvis.

So they called him Elvis. I suppose everyone, you know, I suppose it's just, it's a natural thing to do, isn't it? Just give someone a name based on their appearance. If they, you know, I suppose an Elvis would be a natural thing if someone looks like Elvis.

I don't think he, he looked like, or maybe he did. I can't remember. It's a long time ago.

I remember when I was about 20, early twenties, I was working in this place and the canteen, we used to go into the canteen to get our lunch. And the lady behind the canteen used to call me professor because I was wearing glasses. Oh, wow.

Professor. The thing is I quite liked it. The idea that just because I'm wearing glasses means I'm professor.

Like I'm wearing glasses, some kind of enhancement when actually it's a disability or correcting a disability, you know, eyesight issues. So yeah. And oh, so back in the restaurant, I, I went back to my table and this man kind of got into an argument with that table.

So Bob sat down and I think it was his girlfriend. It could have been his wife, but you know, that's just, that's generalizing, isn't it? It's assuming she could have been his sister. She could have just been a good friend.

And I was sitting at a table with some good friends. None of those were related to me. So I don't really know what her relationship to him was.

That didn't really necessarily seem relevant or important at the time of this particular event occurring. I've got the oven on, by the way, I'm going to have a nice, what am I going to have? It's not a stir fry. It's like a pasta with some stuff in it mixed together and got it from Sainsbury's.

It's quite nice because it's enough for one person. And it's, it's not frozen, so it's refrigerated. So all I need to do is put it into an oven for 20 minutes.

Once the oven's hot, the oven doesn't need to be turned on, but for 20 minutes, and then it's ready. And they see, they say, you know, it says on the, on the packaging, leave for one minute before serving. You couldn't eat it straight away anyway, because it's hot.

So I'm going to have that for my dinner. Really the plan for tonight is, what is the plan? I don't even know what time it is. Right.

It's 20 to nine in the evening. 20, 30, 40. Yeah.

So it's 20 to, well it's not 20 to nine, it's, it's 848. Oh, no, it's 849. No, 839.

2039. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to have that after.

And when I finish recording this, I'm going to stick that in the oven. I'm going to watch Big Brother on television. And then I eat that food and continue watching Big Brother.

And I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess upload this and do all the little things that are required for this. But it's a, there's a lot less to do now.

Because I've got a new website and everything's a little bit easier now. Because using Shopify actually simplifies what I need to do. In fact, I don't need to do a lot.

You know, just upload it and then that's it. And when people go onto the website and they choose what they want to download, Shopify does everything, you know. It's like a shop cart and you can order as much, as many different things as you want.

Then just download them. Very, very easy. I like it.

I like it a lot. So I'm in this restaurant and let's call him Bob, you know, just for the sake of the story. It's a real story by the way.

I'm not, I do make stuff up. But this is something that I've not made up. It actually happened.

So he, whoever was at the table with Bob started arguing with him. And I said something to that table. I can't remember what it was.

It was just like a little funny throwaway line. It wasn't, well, it might not have been funny, but it was funny to me at the time. I think that's the thing with, yeah, those kind of situations.

I can't always remember what I've said. So I just carry on with my dinner. So I've got my food in front of me.

I'm eating, you know, using the knife and fork and I've got no idea what I've ordered, but it's probably nice. Something nice and yummy. Tasty for my tummy.

And it was a real treat. Really was a lovely, wonderful. So I'm just eating and one of the people that I'm with says, look behind you.

And I look behind me and the man, no, actually, wait a minute. No, I think I watched him. Yeah, that's it.

I don't think she told me, but it happened either one of these ways. I'm not sure. I'm not necessarily making it up, but I'm giving you a couple of different endings, an alternative ending.

So what basically he did is this man walked, crept all the way around and hid behind a post. And there's a loop around where my friend said, look, he had his walking stick raised and he was about to hit me over the head with it. Like a big wooden walking stick.

And he was going to hit me with the handle part. And I didn't know what to do. Because, you know, I thought I wasn't going to touch him or I'm gonna, I'm not sure if I grabbed the walking stick off him or I can't remember.

It wasn't, I didn't, you know, I think the staff came and removed him from the restaurant. I was just a little bit shocked that, considering I was actually caring about him and worried and concerned about his wellbeing, which is why I went over to him in the first place, just to see if he was okay. And then he decided to do that, you know, that's very, very, very unusual.

I have been back there. Went back there when I, this is to the, it's a hotel, it's in town. And it's, they've got all these comfy chairs, really comfortable chairs.

It's a bit like, if you can imagine Sherlock Holmes sitting down in a chair with Watson. That's quite, I can't even imagine that though, that kind of situation. Quite, quite an old, it's an old building.

It's an old, old hotel. And it's quite like, I haven't been in there for many years, but I used to frequent it there quite frequently. I used to meet up with my classmates from university every now and then and have a few drinks or coffee or something to eat.

So I was in there for my graduation. So on the day of my graduation, this was back in, I think it was November, it might be in October, but I think it was November, 2010. So I just turned 40.

I was 40 in the August. So actually I said I was 40, but earlier, when I'd finished my university course, I was still 39 until the end of August. So I think the course finished in about June, May, May or June time.

So I was still 39. I'm not sure if there was a reason for me to tell you about the ages. Anyway, on my graduation day, and that's a whole, that's a whole different story, but I went to, we did the graduation, and it's not that much I really remember about it.

But I suppose one of the things I remember is the, when I actually went up on stage to collect my degree certificate, I also got awarded, and they announced it before, I got awarded a prize, a special prize thing for, I think it's an outstanding student or something like that. That was more based on my continuing to go, even though I'd been a bit ill, and I continued to attend, and I managed to accomplish the degree. I mean, the outstanding student or the prize, I think should have gone to probably someone else, but hey, it went to me, and I think I got a £25 gift voucher.

So that was announced before I got on stage. So I went on stage, and I got given both the different certificates, the degree and the other one, and I did a little bow, did a little curtsy to the audience. So I think I'm the only person that did that.

But it really was a case of just getting on the stage, walking across, shaking hands, and then just, I don't mean like shaking your hands around, I'm shaking hands with another person, not like you just washed your hands and realised there's nothing to dry your hands on, not that kind of shaking. So I got off the stage and just, it was a kind of an unusual, I guess it's just not really my scene, it's not something that I'm really, I'd never done before, but no, just wasn't really sure how to, how to respond to the whole thing, really. But I remember we went and had lunch, and there was loads of us, loads of us together.

And we went back to that restaurant inside the hotel, and I had bread rolls. They were lovely. Just loved bread rolls.

I kind of want a bread roll now, sometimes it's strange, but I think I've got two bread rolls in my cupboard. Pretty sure, I definitely do. I know pretty sure and definitely doesn't particularly go into the same sentence.

Because pretty sure offers a little bit of room for doubt, definitely seems quite definite-ish. So I'm actually outside Argos, and I just got the phone call, I just phoned up the STD clinic at the hospital, and they said that I was all clear, everything was fine. So I phoned up my girlfriend to let her know the good news, and to arrange to meet her as soon as possible, to celebrate.

And because over the last week, I'd been thinking about my various adventures in younger years, and maybe not always being as careful as I could have been. And I actually said this to my girlfriend. I said to her, you know what, it's got me thinking now.

About safety, about protection, about awareness and safety. And even if right now, a woman jumps out of the bushes and begs me, and says, come on, let's get it on. I might think twice, because I don't have any protection on me, and I perhaps wouldn't just go and do it.

I'd think twice about it. And my girlfriend said, excuse me? And I repeated it. And then I said, when, you know, when should we meet up then? And she seemed to go off meeting up with me, she didn't seem interested in, you know, meeting up.

And then after the thought, oh, and I started laughing. I was on the phone to her still. And I said, I just realized what I said.

And I just couldn't stop laughing, because I just found it so funny that I just talked to my girlfriend about saying that if someone jumped out, some random lady jumped out of the bush, like maybe think twice, when really, I shouldn't be mentioning that stuff to her. I should be not not mentioning it, but you know, not even saying stuff, like scenarios like that. I suppose it said something about how well I got on with her, because I kind of saw her as a friend.

And so I didn't, I just kind of said whatever I was, you know, I was thinking, which isn't always the best thing, I suppose, for me to do. But I think with me, it's a case of just, that's kind of how I am. And I keep away from people that I can't be like that with.

Probably explains why I don't have a girlfriend. I'm a fairly decent person, really, you know, at least decency, at least two out of 10, I'd say, maybe three, four at Christmas. Anyway, I'm going to go.

I think I've done my, I've done enough for one night. So as, as ever, I'm not, you know, hopefully you've been bored enough to just drift off and I've just talked about nothing. That's the point of these, me just talking about nothing at all.

God, my stomach just did a boink, boink, which is weird. Okay, I've got three minutes before Big Brother starts. So I'm not gonna, if you have fallen asleep, I'm not going to try and wake you up.

If you haven't fallen asleep, then, I don't know, just do something boring. Listen to, listen to someone boring for an hour. If nothing else, I'd like to think that these sessions can relax you.

You feel calm, loose, just, you know, take your mind off the day, maybe. So I'm going to go. Thank you very much.

Lots of love. Speak to you next time. Bye.