#19 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (23rd April 2018)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep and it's a recording aimed at boring you to sleep and only listen to this or watch this on YouTube if you're doing that or Vimeo when you can safely close your eyes as this sleep session may cause drowsiness. So I'm sitting here laying back in my big black squeaky chair. Andre is around somewhere.

I just took him out for a walk so I was hoping he'd be fairly tired but he seems to have come alive. Let's see what's happening. I don't know what he's going to intend to do.

Hopefully he's going to go to sleep for a little bit. So the point of these sessions, this is the 19th I think. I said that about my hypnotic buffet that I did earlier but I think this is actually the 19th one.

So that's not too bad. At one point I was doing them every day but I also started doing Let Me Bore Your Pain Away sessions as well and also looking to do more of other things, other recordings. So I might not make them every day but they will be fairly regular.

Maybe every couple of days and all it is really is just me just talking about absolutely anything and by focusing on my voice it allows you the chance to just take a break from whatever has been going on in your life before you press the play button on this podcast or video. So what I'll do is I'll just tell you how I'm feeling. I'll tell you my surroundings.

So I'm laying on an exotic beach. No I'm not. I'm sitting down in my chair laying back.

It's a recliner but not one of the comfortable variety. It's not uncomfortable but it's getting a bit worn I think. It's okay.

It supports my body which is handy. It doesn't fall apart every time I sit on it and there'd be no point having it I guess. I couldn't really call it a chair if it didn't serve that particular purpose.

I'm in my living room. Two of the windows are open letting in the air. It's about eight o'clock in the evening on a Monday evening.

There's birds in the background and there's a plane as well in case you thought that maybe the birds in England sound like planes. That's actually a plane but the birds, I don't know if you can hear them, it's quite faint. I'm not sure if they're even awake.

That might be them snoring. So I imagine some birds do snore. Maybe some birds talk in their sleep.

That one just said no we don't all do that. Stop being prejudiced against birds. I'm not being prejudiced.

I'm just generalizing the possibility of birds coming back again and then going shush. I have a dog starting. So there's a train in the background as well in the distance.

It's quite quite a long way away from where I live but not if you were traveling by plane. It wouldn't take very long at all but to walk the railway track is. Actually it's not far really.

Maybe 10-15 minute walk. So I can hear the railway, hear the trains in the distance but they don't really honk their horns until the middle of the night. They're very generous like that.

So that's a train now. This is quite a busy, a busy time because the trains go between, they go on to London from here. So it's a very, one of the busiest networks.

There's always trains going forward and backwards. I suppose technically, technically they're always going forwards because they wouldn't be able to see where they're going if they were going backwards but you know what I mean. They're always going towards London and then away from London.

I suppose in the same way that we breathe in and we breathe out and we breathe in and we breathe out. Hopefully a bit slower than I just said it. It's those kind of natural things that sometimes feels that these man-made situations like railway tracks kind of become part of nature because they cut through the fields.

I suppose there would be more planes as well as people are heading off for their holidays now that the weather's got nice. Now we're well into spring, 23rd of April I think it is today, 2018. People are heading off to Egypt or Canada or Liverpool, I don't know, wherever they're going for their holidays.

I just imagine they're sitting all those miles up or feet up, I don't know how far up in the sky they are but looking forward to what they're going to do when they get to Magaluf or Edinburgh or wherever. Maybe Cincinnati or Egypt, maybe they're traveling to India, China, Australia, maybe that's their final destination. Maybe some people are on their way to start a new life in a new country.

Maybe all they've got is the belongings, one suitcase and a dream. Maybe a hat in case it's really sunny because maybe like me at the moment I'm pretty bald, I shave my head so I catch the sun quite easily. I've been telling people for years I could even burn in the winter.

I can get sunburned in the winter and not one person has ever laughed at that. I thought it was quite a funny thing to say. I remember saying it for the first time when I was about 19.

I thought well it's true but it's also kind of humorous but I didn't get a response. I thought well I'll give it another go because you never know, it might not have been the right time to have told that particular what I classed as a fairly humorous statement. So I thought next time maybe I'll do it after the funeral finishes.

I don't know just do something a bit different. But I tested it and no one no one seems to be that interested. I find it strange that you know when you tell someone something and they for some reason they don't believe it and you're telling them about yourself because we know ourselves don't we just know ourselves so so much better than anyone else could really know.

Of course we can't see our own blind spots that's why they're called blind spots. As soon as you know it's there it's no longer a blind spot. So maybe other people can notice specific behavioral patterns that possibly we ourselves have not yet become aware of but we're still aware of a lot more than anybody else could ever be aware of.

You know especially our internal thoughts and thinking and belief structures and opinions and all that stuff. And I said to people in the past that I burn you know I catch the sun really really easily and no one will believe me when I say that I don't go brown. I never go brown.

It doesn't happen and no one it's not that I've done a survey or anything I've not traveled the world asking people if they believe that I don't go brown. No matter how often I go in the sun all I do is go red. I just go a different level of red.

That's it. Never go brown. Not on my face anyway.

My arms tan a little bit. My upper body I won't just forget about it. I wouldn't even attempt to well put it this way.

Since I was pretty much since I was a kid the only people that see my nipples have been girlfriends. I don't I don't take my top off in public just because it's not about nipples. It's it's really not about that.

I don't even know why I'm mentioning nipples but I had such a I got a lot of problems with the sun when I was a kid. So I kind of have to keep away from it. So I can go out in it.

I can walk around and stuff but even the other day I met my dad for lunch and this is last Thursday and I had my back facing away from the sun. I was trying to sit in the shade the whole time.

So all I did was walk to the place and back and then I took Andre for a walk in the early evening when there was no really the sun was kind of down and I caught the sun on my forehead and it was a bit stingy you know this you know the next day so I kind of caught the sun got a little bit burnt and it's like wow it's like the sun I think maybe the sun was shining off my dad's forehead onto me onto my face you know like you do if you get

a mirror or some kind of metallic thing and it shines the sun onto you maybe that's what was happening so my dad had sunglasses on so maybe the sun was shining not necessarily off of his forehead onto mine because his forehead isn't made of aluminium or you know it's not so maybe it was the glasses maybe the glasses shone and reflected the light onto my forehead so maybe that's what it was I don't know but I know that we walked around after we had some dinner I had my chips and an egg and some stuff

I had diets so I didn't have any ice cream so my dad and my stepmom were gonna have ice cream I wanted to have ice cream so we went for a walk in this garden center it's quite a big garden center it's one of those places that's just I suppose there's different ones all around the country and maybe there's absolutely huge ones in other countries but this one's a fairly big one you know hundreds hundreds of different plants and stuff like that and it wasn't like a farmer's market it was very much plants and trees

and flowers and and inside there's lots of gardening equipment you could buy there's a big but it's a fairly good sized restaurant probably holds about 200 people and there's another shop which is the farm shop which sells like local produce from the farms you know eggs and that kind of stuff I have been there before it's just it's fairly well it's not expensive but it is a lot more than it costs to you know buy stuff in the supermarket and I don't know I should go there more often really and this is supporting isn't it

supporting the the local area and the local businesses and maybe I will thinking about it maybe maybe I will go and spend a bit more time in there and maybe buy a few of the local products produces I'm not sure you know they have like jams that are made locally they've got made like strawberry jam that's made locally there's blackcurrant jam that's made locally I think there might have been some blueberry jam that's made locally and if I recall they had some marmalade which was made locally and then they had different types of marmalade that

was made locally there's that marmalade that had bits of orange peel inside or was it lemon peel orange peel or lemon peel one of those bits of peely bits that are inside the marmalade that's produced locally they also had other jars of marmalade which didn't have any shredded bits in that's also made locally they also have different butters as well so there's the I'm not sure if all the butters that they sell are made locally but I know some of them are I can't think what the name of those particular butters are you know one

of the things for these I've got so used to using margarine and you know easy spread stuff so you know the ones that come in the containers that you put in the fridge and you take it out and when you first open it you take the lid off there's usually a film of like plasticky paper that you have to peel off which it shows to you that it's been it was sealed you know so it's fresh and untouched and there's so many different varieties of that that's available and I don't really I don't really have

a favorite I do like the taste of butter but the problem I find with butter is that it's so hard to spread on the bread I mean I have ruined I've totally destroyed so many slices of lovely bread over the years with butter that I kind of gave up because it's so hard and it does taste nice though this one that's made in Ireland it's really really nice I forget what it's called it's uh it's in a kind of a silver packaging with a green clover leaf or something like that well my friend who is

Irish used to buy that when we lived together he used to buy that and he'd leave it out thing is he didn't just leave the butter out because that's also this thing about butter it should be kept in the fridge but if you keep it in the fridge it's too hard to spread unless you're you know you're cooking so if you're baking cakes or something then in a way it's probably better to have the butter to be a bit cold because then it's easier to in my experience it's easier to mix it with flour but

my friend used to leave the butter out but not not on a butter dish and not with a lid you know like maybe my my grandmother would do you just leave it on the side open and just I just didn't like that not only that I'd buy bread and you'd always leave the bread open as well by that I mean the the packet I don't mean the bread has some kind of compartment like a door there's no door to the bread it was just in a bag just normal bread not any kind of special narnia

bread that has a special door that you go into that leads you to a land full of baguettes or you know I don't know french sticks so garlic bread hanging off of trees so you'd leave it there the thing is with bread it's it goes dry if you don't keep it sealed it goes dry and the thing is I didn't didn't like to moan well I did like to moan actually I enjoyed moaning it's a it's a life I said I didn't like to moan but I didn't want to be a nag to him I

didn't want to just keep going on about the same thing over and over again even though that's what I do now because that's all part of being the most boring person online I can just repeat myself over and over again and that feeling that you have when you're faced with somebody that's just going on and on and on about something that you've got no interest in at all and those are the people that are least aware that what they're saying is boring the person that's listening I find quite often they're usually really nice people don't

want to be rude it's much easier just to walk away from a friend and say what you're talking about than it is to someone perhaps you don't know very well maybe he used to leave the bread out so I used to keep him to do the bread and put it into the cupboard seal it up and then I put the butter back into the fridge so it was cold so that he couldn't spread it on his bread and there wasn't a reason I just because it was it was summer it was melting the bread was

the butter was dripping it was just melting you know the the way the your muscles feel when you're just really really relaxed it was a bit like that just the butter just feeling still and relaxed and calm at least that was what the butter told me I didn't I didn't really talk to the butter butter doesn't talk don't know why I said that it's supposed to be boring I'm not supposed to be lying to you not that you're listening but for those that are still listening to these pointless stories remember that they may be pointless

to you but this this is my life this is stories my existence in this world and the story of the bread being left out admittedly I can't think of an interesting end to that story or even some kind of bridge to take me to my next topic talking about topics what is it the topics used to be called they used to have a different name didn't they so I know that um Snickers used to be called Marathons in England the topics they used to have a different name there've been a few different changes of names

of products over the years and we just get used to it I suppose maybe it's like anything else you get used to change and become accustomed to what is and no longer concerned about what was I think that's that's an obstacle that we're all faced with is trying to move forward past how we think things should be because how we think things should be it's not reality I'm not talking about making changes positive changes I'm talking about for example the weather you know someone in July sitting in the garden saying it should be hot out

here should be able to sunbathe and they're sitting out and it's raining all over them but they're still determined to sit there laying down topless with a drink of juice next to them covered in suntan oil with a barbecue burning away in the corner of the garden maybe if you can put down some summer games like skittles or bowls or maybe they're trying to read a nice romantic novel and they get completely soaking wet the rain's coming down really really really you know the book is turning to mush yet in their mind it should be

sunny it should be a hot day they should be able to sunbathe so they're gonna do it anyway that's what I mean in the sense of maybe accepting what is rather than how we believe things should be I do find that a fascinating subject it's the idea that when I hear people talk those they're thinking of how things should be this should be this way but it's not I should be rich by now well you're not or maybe you are but the person is saying that wouldn't say that if they were there's lots of things

that we wish we had we wish were different I wish I was six foot eight but I'm not I should be six foot eight well I'm not but I should be but I'm not so does that mean that I'm gonna act as if I am six foot eight start walking through tall doorways and crouching down even though there's still three foot ahead of me I should be really slim I should be able to get into a pair of jeans size 26 or 27 like I used to when I was younger but I'm not I should

be able to get into those jeans I should have a 27 inch waist so do I accept that or do I feel determined to wear those jeans apologies for the background sound I should be able to make this recording without a furry ferret running around but I'm not I'm not making it without a furry ferret running around because that's what he does he sleeps about 18 hours a day but when he's awake he's very busy at times imagine trying to fit into a pair of jeans with a 27 inch waist I'd be lucky to get

them past my knees I don't think I'll be able to get them onto my hips and that's a size jeans I used to wear when I was in my early 20s I was very slim back then but I'm not I'm just listening to he all undressed up too because he's being very quiet when he's being quiet I sometimes mean that he's he's being naughty I do wonder what he's doing I hope he's okay I just want him to be happy really sometimes that was my chair I'm glad it's my chair that would have been the

weirdest sounding fall in history it's just my chair the thing about drifting off to sleep is that it really is the most natural thing that we ever do just like for Andre the most natural thing for him to do apart from trying to annoy me he falls asleep so easily he also likes to climb up and to his cage and eat some food when I'm making a recording I sometimes think he's doing it just to wind me up he's not even a quiet eater if you can hear him the background there you know the thing

about these sessions is the more you listen to me the more often you listen to me regardless of what the session is the more positive you start to feel about yourself the more open you become towards possibilities for your future for your life and that's a benefit which you can enjoy realizing that even though sometimes it does sound maybe like I'm just waffling on and on and of course I am and that gives your mind a rest the more the rest of those things that were there in your mind before that are of no importance

whilst listening to my voice and Andre chomping down his food like he's never been fed before you know sometimes he actually he'll hide food I always feed him he's always got food available 24 hours a day but he still hides food it's just that nature is that's in his nature to do that there's no teaching that can't teach it to him can't teach him to problem solve over everything he can he does that naturally it's inbuilt in his brain when he was born I'm gonna call that imprinted I'm gonna have to cut his nails or

something later on because these fingernails are getting a bit a bit long but he's a little wiggly when I try and do it I think he appreciates it when it's done because then he doesn't get his nails caught in the carpet he's still very wiggly so the reason why I do so many of these sessions over 800 now I think but why I keep doing them I don't just do one and just move on to a different subject I keep doing them because there's that continuous progression a continuous growth a continuous relief a continuous benefit

that you can gain from listening or watching the videos regularly I also try and make them fairly long instead of just doing a 10 minute or 15 minute sessions I like them to be at least you know 40 minutes plus maybe 50 maybe an hour because then you've got more time to just let go and unwind I think that's useful for all of us to have that opportunity to just let go and just relax and you know sometimes you know I like to listen to relaxing music sometimes but sometimes I don't want that much stimulation

sometimes I want the least amount possible and I think these sessions possibly offer something like that very minimal just my voice the only special effects is Andre running around that's not really special effects it's you know he does all all his own stunts I don't edit really anything any session I do so you hear the beginning all the way through to the end everything I've said any silly stuff I might have waffled on about and the only bits I edit would be the very beginning you know if I make a few weird noises before I

start probably for about 20 seconds before I pressed after I pressed the record button the first 20 seconds I might sing a little song probably not I might let go of some gas and I just let some of the noises out of my body that are not useful during the actual session maybe have a drink of water I really really do any tap dancing or anything like that but yeah it's generally just a preparation of getting myself comfortable and then taking a few breaths you know which would happen anyway because we have to keep breathing

don't we it's just a natural thing like sleeping just happens naturally and at the end of the session the end of the recording sometimes I'll don't want to say goodbye it's usually just the sound of me getting up out of my chair and maybe I'll yawn I rarely do sit-ups or press-ups but you know it's just generally I might tidy up I might rush to the to the toilet or something I don't know usually I leave it a few seconds before I press the stop try and keep quiet for a few seconds at the end

as I do at the beginning so that it's fairly quiet before I start talking and it's fairly quiet after I finish talking because I find that then I can edit those beginning clips and those end clips out so it sounds a bit nicer but there's nothing edited during the actual session even if even if someone a clown climbed up a ladder and start popping balloons outside the window I wouldn't edit that out I might stop recording to be fair it depends if there's lots of balloons and how loud they were and I would question why

was there a clown on a ladder outside my window and just like that the television just made a weird noise but I'm not going to edit that out and the reason I don't edit stuff is there's a few reasons one is I want this to be authentic I want it to be real you know this is not a I'm not sitting in a recording studio where everything's there's no sound you know I'm not in that environment I'm in my home I'm sharing my home with you as well as my words and my time and most

importantly the reason I don't edit is because I can't be bothered I really can't be asked to do it because I'm lazy and in the past I have edited sessions when I made my stop smoking course back in 2000 and I think it was 2009 I spent I think about 10 days solid recording that course 10 days putting it together 10 days and that includes the editing everything that I was you know to do with it and I was re-recording bits you know to make it sound better I was you know there's a lot of

work done on that and for every for every minute of duration of a recording to edit the recording you've got to add probably another four minutes so if this session is an hour long it's going to take probably about four hours to edit maybe three hours three or four hours and I'd rather just make another session not to replace this but you know I'd rather just spend that time doing something a bit more productive of course if I if if the clown was outside and he had an elephant on his shoulders and the elephant was

screaming you know like elephants do like really loud then yeah you know I'd they'd come to a point you know if there was too much background sound I guess I'd I'd need to kind of draw a line at some point on there but I'd probably be too busy trying to figure out how the not only why the clown was up a ladder outside my home outside the window with an elephant on his shoulders but how physically was he able to do it I mean that definitely would be a I'd probably go live on Facebook with

that I'd record that put it on live on Facebook and the title would just be question marks or what you know what on earth but in reality probably not likely to happen so I suppose I could deal with what is happening rather than what could happen I could deal with reality and the reality is I'm coming to the end of this session and when I finish this recording I will transfer the file from the recording studio up on mini recording studio Tascam I will transfer it to my laptop the file I'll then do the minimum

editing as far as take it off the end in the beginning then I will download and transfer or convert that file from a WAV file into an mp3 file which will reduce the size significantly then I will upload it to SoundCloud then I will share that SoundCloud recording to Facebook on my main page also to Facebook on my Facebook page page rather than my just my normal page where I've got about 30 31 000 followers or something on there and hardly anybody ever responds to anything that I post but I'll post it on Twitter I'll

post it on a couple of other places as well or share it rather on those places I will then upload it to two of my podcasts on Spreaker I've got a let me bore you to sleep podcast and also the sleep hypnosis podcast so I'll post this upload this to both of those then I will make a video out of this file out of this recording turn it into a video which will take probably an hour or two to convert it to process it and then I'll upload it to my YouTube channel Jason Newland's Sleep

Hypnosis and I'll also upload it to my Vimeo channel vimeo.com forward slash Jason Newland where all my videos are and then I might treat myself to some ice cream as a little reward for having made two sessions today and for also having accomplished a few little bits that I needed to do I changed my bedding did some washing up had a bath took Andre for a walk made two recordings I realize none of that sounds very exciting but it's not supposed to what would it be like if I suddenly started talking about exciting things at

the end of a session that is supposed to be boring so that's the end of this let me bore you to sleep session this recording is made by me Jason Newland on the 23rd of April 2018 my website is jasonnewland.com and support me if you want you take care of yourselves and I'll speak to you next time lots of love bye