#21 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (30th April 2018)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. I think this is number 21. So I haven't done one of these recordings for about five or six days, but I'm here and I'm doing one now.

I've just been busy doing other stuff. This chair really needs to be de-squeaked. Anyway, my name is Jason Newland and the whole point of this session is that I will just be talking.

That's it, just me talking. There may be background sounds, there may be, I don't know what kind of sounds. Hopefully you won't hear my laptop in the background because I've put the lid down on that.

I can hear the fridge buzzing away in the kitchen. It sounds a bit buzzy, like quite a quiet buzz, like a very, I was going to say like a mouse's vibrator, but you know I'm just saying it's very quiet. The television is a bit weird because I've just turned it off and it makes not moaning noises, but it just makes like cracking noises.

So I don't know why. I think it's just a bit of a rubbish television, but I'm pleased with it. Not pleased with the noises, but I think it's a 32 inch television, which suits me okay.

I could do with a larger television, making like a 50 or 60 inch would be nice. But you know, never happy with the size because you know, I always like something a little bit bigger, but that's okay. I'll buy for now.

I don't really have the money to buy a new one. And yeah, and I don't live in like a big massive room, so I don't need binoculars to see the television. You know, I'm fairly close enough to see it.

However, chair's getting worse, isn't it? Things are, I'm laying back, you know, I'm reclined in the chair, which is fine, but I don't always want to be reclined. I want to be able to lean forward if I need to, you know, if I need to have a drink or maybe check the time as well, you know, to see how long I've been talking for. Because you know, even for me, sometimes it seems to just go on forever.

It seems to just, what am I talking about? I'm still talking. Oh, you know, that kind of thing. But so I was thinking of ways to raise a little bit of cash to cover the costs of making these sessions, the cost of the podcasts and you know, website, all that stuff.

So I was thinking maybe I could do some kind of sponsorship where you could sponsor a show or a maybe not one show, but maybe, you know, you could pay, make a donation, you know, pay a certain amount. And then I can mention you and your business and your website or whatever you've services you have to offer or, you know, a month or something like that. I don't know.

I'm just thinking about it. You know, if you do want to support me, then go to my website, just click on the support me button in the menu and that will help me out because if I can get some help in paying for the podcasts, that'd be really helpful. See this, I have these, let me bore you to sleep sessions on SoundCloud, Podomatic and on Spreaker.

Plus they shared on other podcasts. They're the three that I actually pay for. So Spreaker costs me about $20 a month.

Podomatic costs me about $20, $24 a month and SoundCloud costs about $8, that's about $10, maybe $11 a month, something like that. And then the website costs me about $20 plus dollars a month, $25, something like that anyway, because I'm paying pounds because I live in England. So it all kind of adds up.

So I don't know if that's anything that you'd be interested in doing or if you'd just like to support me to continue, you know, to do this, to pay for the podcasts because I had to, financially I had to delete and cancel some of my podcasts a couple of weeks back through lack of money. And it was a bit of a shame because I lost an audience. I lost the audience I had on with Spreaker because the audience is on iHeartRadio and Spotify and I lost the audience on Podomatic.

Although the new podcast I created yesterday has already had nearly a thousand downloads. So that's fairly good for that. The only one I've got on Podomatic now is the sleep sessions, which includes these ones as well.

So if it's supporting me, something you'd like to do, then that'd be brilliant. So only listen to this or watch this if it's on a video. Because I've got a YouTube channel, Jason Doolan's Hypnosis Videos, or Jason Doolan's Sleep Hypnosis.

That's the YouTube channel. And it's a fairly new channel. I've got 34 subscribers at the moment, but that'll grow if I continue to produce sessions.

And what else? I'm also, all of my videos are on Vimeo as well. So it's vimeo.com forward slash Jason Newland. And I've got seven, 800 videos on there, something like that.

So it's quite a few. So yeah, this is just me talking and somebody, you know, I forget people's names. It's not, it's not just I forget people's names.

I saw somebody on the bus the other day and she looked familiar, but I didn't, I didn't, I couldn't figure out who she was or where I had seen her before. I think she's one of the local dog walkers. I don't mean she walks a dog for a living or anything like that.

It's not her job, but I think she has a dog and I sort of say hello to her. But because she was out of context and she didn't have a dog with her and she was on a bus, I didn't recognize her. I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't sure who she was.

I don't know about you, but there's been times when I've traveled on a bus, the same route, the same journey every day, maybe five days a week for months on end or on a train, something like that, a tube or underground train. And I'd start to get used to seeing the same faces to a point where I start to think that I know them. And I've actually said hello to somebody in the street that I've seen on the bus regularly.

And then I thought, I don't know who they are. There was one time that there was this lady and she had dark hair and she was nice. I used to see her.

I just used to like look at each other and that was it. I'd be sitting at the back. She'd go and sit at the front or she'd go and sit in the middle, see me, then go to the front, probably to get as far away from me as possible.

I don't know. I put my clothes back on and we just carried the journey on. And I saw her every, it wasn't even every week, like every day.

I mean, I used to see her on a Friday afternoon, about four or five o'clock. And I'm guessing the bus, you know, she was getting on from work, kept going home. And I've been to counselling.

I had a counsellor who I was seeing, not seeing romantically. Otherwise, I guess I would have said it was my girlfriend. I wouldn't have said it was a counsellor.

I mean, people don't normally introduce their husbands and wives in that way, do they? Oh, meet John. He's an electrician. Oh, that's nice.

Oh, and he's my husband as well. Meet Jason. He does nothing.

He thinks making recordings actually helps people, but there's no evidence of that. He makes them, he puts them online, and it looks like people are listening, but he doesn't know why they're listening. And there's people in Leighton, people in Wales, people in Scotland, in California, Australia, China, they're listening.

Honestly, I don't, I don't know, really, most of the people where, you know, anything about the people that listen to my stuff. That's Andre doing a poo now. Let's see if we can hear him.

I know it's a wee, but it's too quick for a boo. He only really farts when he poos. Now he's drinking, just in case you think he was licking himself clean.

Doesn't make that much noise. He's just having a drink. I've got this metal, it's not a tray, it's like a little water thing that I've attached.

You can attach something to cages, you know, inside, but I've got it attached to the pipe that comes from the radiator that goes all the way around the room. So it's not hot, but I've had to attach it and stick it, basically, attach it really firmly to the pipe. Because all, all he does is he has to knock it over any bowl.

Can you hear him in the background? He's gone, going back to bed. He keeps moving his bag around. So he's got this special bag.

It's his bag. It's a brown bag with like fluorescent green stripe, like really, like radioactive bogey colored stripe. And it's his bag.

There's an old jumper of mine that he cuddles into and sleeps inside and it's full of his smell. It's his, it's like a comfort blanket kind of thing. And for some reason he keeps moving the bag around the room.

He's moved it from one side of the room to the other. And I don't know why. I've asked him, but he's a ferret.

He doesn't talk. He squeaks. You know like that, but he lets me know when I tread on him.

I don't mean to tread on him. I'm not saying that I'm trying to communicate with him by standing on him. It's an accident, but he has this tendency to just follow me around and try and trip me up.

That's like a hobby to him. Some people like football, some people like tennis, snooker. You know, he likes to trip me up.

I don't know why. Another thing he does is if I'm, if I'm at the sink, whether in the bathroom or at the kitchen sink doing some washing up, I was going to say whatever else I might be doing at the kitchen sink, but what else would I be doing? Making plans for the future. Daydreaming about lost opportunities.

I don't know. It's not really much making a castle out of Lego. I mean, it's like making a bowl of fruit out of Lego.

Making a bowl of fruit out of matchsticks. I prefer just to have a bowl of fruit because it's fruit, isn't it? You can eat it. I never, I never feel full up though.

Never I eat. The only fruit I really eat is bananas and never really feels as if I've eaten when I eat a banana. Even if I have a banana toasted sandwich, which is one of my, oh, my tummy's making some weird noises.

A banana toasted sandwich is one of my things I quite like to eat, but this doesn't always fill me up as much as maybe I'd like it to. Anyway, as I was saying about the, I don't know the people that are listening to my stuff, you know, yesterday I had overnight 883 downloads of my new podcast on Podomatic. Who, who are they? Who are the people that listen to my SoundCloud podcast or on iTunes? I could see the statistics.

I could see that people from many different countries are listening and it shows the people that listen the most, the people that are some people listening to, you know, over a hundred sessions a month, which is quite a lot. I just, I don't have, I don't really have any contact with many of the people that listen to what I do. I get the occasional message sent to me on Facebook, thanking me for what I do and saying that these boring, uh, boring sessions really are boring.

And you know, it's good cause that's the point. And it's nice to get some friendly feedback. I don't get a lot though.

I don't get a lot of many comments. I think it's possibly because I've been on Facebook for so long, been online for so long, that maybe a lot of people have, that have left comments and have left testimonials, possibly feel that they don't want to leave anymore because they've already done it. They might have done it seven years ago or 10 years ago.

I used to have, I used to collect testimonials. I used to, uh, every time I got a really nice something sent to me on my website or whatever, I used to uh, save it. And I had hundreds and hundreds of them and I put it all into a, like a document, you know, not a Word document, but a document that you could download, you know, for those that wanted to see what other people had said.

But I lost it. It was on one of my, it was on one of my laptops that broke and it's gone. I never, it'd be nice to be able to get it back, but I have put a testimonial page on my website.

So nobody's uh, written anything yet apart from me. I'm not saying like how wonderful I am. I just did the first one just saying, please leave a testimonial if, if whatever you want to, it would be nice to get more, uh, comments, more maybe testimonials on the website of people saying something nice.

That'd be cool. I'd like that because I'm starting to think more long-term in a sense of I've changed the website so many times. I've had closed it down at times because I didn't have the money to keep it going.

Then I had to restart all over again. And constantly being looking for better podcast website hosts. And I've gone to WordPress, I've used Wix, I've used Weebly, I've used Square, I think it Box or wherever.

I've used Boonfruit. I think there's another one. I've used so many different ones.

Now, you know, I'm just, I think I'm just going to stick with the one I've got and build upon that. So I suppose if someone was to go on to the website for the first time and they look at the testimonials and they see that there's only me on there that has said anything, it may look like nobody's ever said anything nice, which isn't true. But at the same time, I don't want to add what other people have said to me in private messages on Facebook or on Twitter or YouTube or anything like that.

Because then you can see that I'm the one that's posted it and it doesn't look legitimate. But if you post it yourself, then it looks, well, it looks real, doesn't it? It's not something that I've made up myself, although I would never do that anyway. So I do find it interesting to, it's not that I want to get to know my audience.

I don't need to know everybody's names and all that stuff. But it'd be nice to kind of get to know a little bit. Because I've got the statistics.

I know that America is the country that listens to me the most, followed by England, the UK, and then maybe Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, you know, it's lots of different places. And then it gives me the, tells me what the top cities are people that listen. And actually it should say towns, because it breaks it down to the towns.

You know, it's, again, America is usually at the top. It's not always. So there's California and different places, you know, different parts of America.

But also, as I said earlier, someone in Leighton that's listening to me, someone in Ireland, but different, you know, different parts of Ireland, different parts of the UK. I just, I find it interesting. I suppose it's because it's what I do.

This is what I do. And I'm thinking about writing a book. Can you imagine the most boring book ever written? Maybe that's what I should call it.

The most boring book in the world. Maybe I should try and break the Guinness World Record of the most boring book ever, you know, in history. Maybe.

I have been thinking about maybe converting, well not necessarily converting, but doing the hypnotic buffets and doing like a year, a yearly annual. Well, it would be an annual as yearly, isn't it? But you know, like the old, the books you'd buy at Christmas, and it'd be the annual for the year. And it would be, you know, what's happened throughout 1983, you know.

Of course, that would be the year, wouldn't it? So I might do that. I might try and do an annual hypnotic buffet annual and just go through some of the different topics I've perhaps talked about on my regular hypnotic buffets that I do every Monday. I don't know.

I'd like to do something like that, but also can't be bothered. I can't be asked. It's terrible, isn't it? It sounds like someone might knock at the door.

Hopefully not. If they do, just ignore it. What I'd like, I think, is somebody else to do all the work for me.

You know, somebody to promote me, somebody to transcribe what I talk about and maybe turn some of that stuff into books. That appeals to me, to have somebody else do the work. I don't mind doing this part, you know, just recording, talking.

That's the part that I can do. To have somebody who is able to turn this into something more than what it is. Because I know that eventually, as all things grow, this will continue to grow.

The audience will get larger, I suppose, as it has done. And hopefully, that is. But it'd be nice to be able to do something with this, instead of just being some random weird man talking into a recording device and then uploading it onto the internet.

I think it'd be quite cool to do something more. I don't know, maybe go on tour or something. Can you imagine that? Coming to see me, let me bore you to sleep, live, and I'll just sit there.

It'd have to be a comfortable chair, not squeaky like this one. Although this is fairly comfortable and just talking into the microphone. And you'd all just be sitting there.

I imagine thinking, hmm, what on earth is happening? I'm not even sure if it would translate on a stage. Because, I don't know about you, but when I'm recording these sessions, I do feel very relaxed. And it is quite a calming experience.

Even if my stomach is sending me signals to feed, I'm going to ignore my tummy. Still going to ignore it. I think I'm going to have a banana toasted sandwich.

You know what I'd like to do? I'd like to learn to enjoy eating peanut butter. Because then I could have a peanut butter toasted sandwich. Always kind of wanted to be able to do that.

But with peanut butter, I just think things that you eat should look different going into your body. So the way they do it coming out, I just not, yeah, I like the smell of peanut butter, especially the ones that got peanuts in, you know, quite, I know technically maybe all peanut butter has peanuts in, because otherwise it wouldn't be called peanut butter. Maybe it'd be called something else butter.

I mean, maybe prune butter, fish finger butter. I don't know. I actually used to believe that prunes, you know, prunes, prune juice to make the body empty itself.

Empty it, you know, go to the toilet and stuff. Apparently I've seen it in, I've not seen it in action. I don't go to those websites, but I've seen prune porn.

That's a bit weird, isn't it? I saw this job I had as a care worker in a place, and the nurse, one of the patients was constipated, and the nurse gave the patient prune juice. Now that story actually bored me, as I was saying it. That's a thing, I think some stories that do, they need livening up, I think sometimes.

I know sometimes I'll just be talking to somebody and I'll get halfway through a sentence and I just lose interest. I lose interest in what I'm saying, I suppose. And there's also the conversational stuff that I'm not really so into these days.

I do prefer just to talk at people about something that I'm interested in. And I think part of the reason for that is that I've not really met anybody that's interested in the things that I'm interested in. So I don't get an opportunity to really talk to people about it.

Because sometimes I've had conversations with maybe a new person, when I say a new person, I don't mean a baby, I mean someone that I've just met. And occasionally I've felt a little bit on trial, like I'm being interrogated. You know, asking question after question about hypnosis and I don't like being asked questions.

You know, I don't like even being asked questions on a first date. I know that probably sounds bad, but I like organic knowledge. I like everything to happen naturally.

So, I mean, it's been a while since I was on a first date, or any date, I can't even remember. Or just like to kiss somebody. I'm sure it must be quite nice because I used to want to do it, but I can't remember.

It's been ages. I can't remember what it feels like to have human contact, you know. But I had this date, it was a blind date, it was like on a internet thing, internet app.

And I met this person, she was nice and everything. She just bombarded me with question after question after question about myself. And it was a bit, a little bit overwhelming, a little bit.

And I think she was waiting for me to ask her about herself. And I didn't really have any questions. I felt a little bit like I was in a job interview.

And you know, that bit at the end where they say, so Jason, do you have any questions? In your case, they'd probably use your name, but do you have any questions? Bob, or whatever your name is. And the amount of times that I just forget, you know, when I was younger, I used to be quite cocky and say, yeah, when do I start? And a few times that worked. Yeah, near my stomach.

I think my stomach was so squeaky. Andre just answered. I think they're having a conversation between themselves, my stomach and Andre.

So yeah, I remember job interviews. I had to keep reminding myself, don't ask about money. Don't ask how much you're going to get paid.

Even though that's one of the most important things to know. Don't ask what the male to female ratio is. Because that could come across as a bit weird.

Don't ask how many toilet cubicles are in the men's toilet. Although that really comes up. Don't ask about the disciplinary procedure.

That's probably something not to mention in a job interview. I suppose you could ask about the air conditioning. I like to make sure that I'm able to open the windows if needed.

Some companies, offices, you know, they've got this thing where they say you have to keep the windows closed because otherwise the air conditioning doesn't work properly. And I say, yeah, but the air conditioning doesn't take away my farts. I need the window open for that.

Otherwise, my stomach's still playing up. I don't know if you can catch that sound of my tummy rumbling. It's not really rumbling.

When I think of rumbling, it's more like thunder. That's kind of rumbling, isn't it? Like a rolling sound, like a wave of sound. This is more like a, I was going to say a falling cow, a cow falling off a cliff, but it's probably nothing like that.

It's more like a little rolling, something rolling down a little hill, a little hungry sausage shaped hunger pang with little feet maybe. So yeah, I do think about if it'd be nice to maybe get to know people or get to know who's listening. So maybe if you want to leave a testimonial on my website, that's if you're still listening, that'd be really cool.

So I can get more of a sense of my audience and where you're listening. You may be listening on iTunes. You may be listening via my website.

You may be watching on YouTube or Vimeo. You may be listening on Spotify or iHeartRadio or Podomatic or Spreaker or some podcast app, Podchaser or you know, so many different ones. Lots and lots and lots of different podcasts online.

So it'd be really cool just to find out who's listening. It's not really requests. It's just, just an idea really.

I like ideas. I like the thought process that goes behind ideas, the energy and the power sometimes of an idea. When you think about it, everything, every creation, invention, piece of art, every building, every bridge, all the technology we have, everything started with an idea.

Even toilet paper. There was definitely a need for it. I do kind of wonder what happened previous to toilet paper.

I suppose you just have to do it in the bath. I don't know. Really not sure.

A way for it to rain and do it outside and stand on your head. I'm not sure. I just like the idea that thoughts can have a really positive effect on us, on you, on me, all of us.

I find it quite comforting to think that, you know, we can feel relaxed and calm and spend this time together, sharing the energy, sharing the space, sharing the words, the calmness, sharing the relaxation with each other. When you think that you're listening to this, that you may be in Ireland or in London and somebody else in America, in Arizona, listening to this, someone in Phoenix could be listening to this is exactly the same. That you are and you're sharing an experience with somebody that you may never meet, but you have a common experience with somebody that maybe lives in South Africa or Canada, because every time, every minute of every day, somebody somewhere in the world is listening to my voice.

Statistically, there's always somebody listening, even if it's just me or Andre. So we all have this shared experience, something that we have in common, something that brings us together. There's many other things that bring us together.

I feel that maybe as a race of humans, a community, anything that brings us together, as long as it's safe and healthy, can be really, really wonderful thing. Having that opportunity to enjoy letting go and just relaxing, safe and calm, being able to just appreciate yourself. I think some of the squeaky sounds, background sounds, like the fridge coming on and switching off and maybe the central heating making a little bit of sound.

Andre running to the paper to do a wee. My stomach letting me know it's time for more food. It all makes this feel more real, knowing that I'm just a human being.

We're all human beings sharing the same thing. I was going to say the same experience, but I guess we all experience things differently. You're all listening to my voice, including me.

And each time you do hear my voice, you can have more connection, feel more connected with me, with these sessions of yourself, with those people around the world that are also sharing this experience safely, feeling part of something. At the same time, feeling completely unique, remembering how special you are as a person, remembering all of those amazing qualities that you have inside that maybe other people are not yet aware of. Some talents that you've never expressed, maybe some gifts and talents that you have not yet discovered yourself.

Sometimes I think being alive can feel a bit like a treasure hunt and you find treasure. And it's amazing, this gift that you find, you realize that you're actually really good at something that you never realized you were even interested in before. Maybe you can write poetry or you can sing you never realized, or maybe you can learn to play an instrument.

Perhaps you have talents for things you've never even thought about, like in a treasure hunt. You may search for these treasures, but not know what you can find. And those things that you do find may surprise and delight you, allowing you to realize your own potential, enhancing your ability to enjoy your life more deeply and being able to spend more of your time grateful for being the person that you are, the loving, kind person that you are.

I'm going to bring this session to an end. I'll speak to you soon. Lots of love.

Bye.