#13 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (11th April 2018)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. When I started these sessions I didn't realise how famous I was going to become. No I'm joking.

When I started these I didn't know that I was going to be doing them so regularly. I've ended up doing them nearly every day. So yeah, that was it, that was the whole sentence.

Still isn't anything more to add really to that. The back of my neck is hurting today. Last night I had, I felt like a neck, like I pulled something, pulled a muscle or something in my neck.

But it's not just the neck, it's right at the back and it's going all the way up into my head. I might just be my spine, nothing serious, just my spine. So I went to bed at about half two.

So I got a bit of sleep. I can't be bothered, isn't it really bad when I can't be bothered to be boring. Maybe I'll be exciting instead.

Right so, these sessions, only watch or listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. And these are basically me just talking, allowing you the space to relax. And maybe drift off into a nice calm sleep.

The thing is, I had a comment on my YouTube channel, which is Jason Newland's Sleep Hypnosis. That's the name of the YouTube channel. So I post these sessions, I turn them into videos and I post them onto that channel.

I had somebody say that they, it was someone called Beanytownvlogs, or I know her as Bostonchickie, or Beantownvlogs, something like that. Anyway, she said that she found these sessions good for reducing anxiety, so that was nice to hear. I was hoping to increase people's anxiety, but I seem to have failed.

Not really, not really. The thing is, it all kind of fits together. Things like anxiety, stress, insomnia, chronic pain, all those kind of things.

There's a massive connection, so if you kind of tackle one of them, then all of them are affected. I always remember, when I was in the Sea Cadets, I won't hopefully always remember because I'm quite happy for those memories to leave me. Because they're not very particularly interesting.

At the moment I still remember, mildly. I say I remember, I don't have clear, definitive, high definition memory of really anything that happened when I was in the Sea Cadets. When I was in there for a couple of years, I'll tell you something.

In the Sea Cadets, there's rankings, like in the Navy, you get stripes on your shoulder and things like that. Anyway, in the Sea Cadets, the point of the Sea Cadets is it's a precursor to joining the Navy. For those that want to join the Navy, when they're kids, they can go in and learn about lots of the aspects to do with the Navy.

So, I've forgotten exactly what I was going to say. Oh yeah, I'm going to tell you all this story. Wait, wait until you hear this.

This really is a ginger nut and cup of tea story. Maybe digestives, but maybe a special occasion. Sometimes it is nice, isn't it, just to do something a little bit different.

You might have a regular routine, which is not to be scoffed at. Some people think a routine is boring. You know what? It probably is.

But the thing is, a routine is quite healthy. Just think about it. The most problematic people.

The people, I don't mean necessarily problematic to others, but they can be. The people who have the hardest time in society are the most chaotic. And chaos doesn't like routine.

Oh, a little cough there. That's nice. So, by injecting, it's a nice little connection there, isn't it? Injecting and chaos.

Hmm, I wonder what the connection there is. So, injecting a little bit of routine, introducing rather some routine into a chaotic lifestyle starts to change things. Just like introducing routine into a chaotic mind, or a mind that seems a little bit... For me, it sometimes feels like the mind has a kind of demonstration, like a public demonstration.

You know, sometimes it feels like the mind just goes on strike. My mind goes on strike and then picketed outside the factory. And maybe I should be listening and looking at the picket boards that they're holding up.

Saying, you know, too much stress, got too much stress, too much worrying, too much thinking. So maybe I have pushed my brain too much, or my mind too much, to do too many things, to think too much, to analyze too much, to worry, to be scared. You know, because it takes a lot to be scared.

It takes a lot of energy. Especially, you know, to be able to be scared about everything. Because that's... Not only is that person maybe scared about everything, they're also one of the most creative people.

Just to be able to come up with situation after situation in your mind, examples of something going wrong. To be able to just, you know, create endless events that haven't even happened, that might happen, but probably won't ever happen. That's a skill.

That's a really amazing skill. It's kind of a wasted skill. I mean, that would be, that would be like Whitney Houston of only ever singing when she was on the toilet.

That's a wasted skill. Can you imagine Whitney Houston never, never have gone in public and sung? But she only sung when she was in a toilet or in the shower. What a waste of a talent.

Well, maybe not a waste, because she's enjoying herself. Maybe the, I was going to say maybe the neighbors are enjoying her, but maybe the neighbors aren't. Maybe they're thinking, banging on the wall, saying, Whitney, stop singing.

Who do you think you are, Mariah Carey? So, so I was in the Sea Cadets. Oh, the mind pickets outside. I sometimes feel that that's what's happening in my brain.

Other times, I feel like there's a demonstration, like a big street demonstration, like there are in London and, you know, New York and big, big cities. Thousands of people walking down. You know what I always find? I don't always, I say that as a sentence, but I don't mean it.

I always find I don't always anything. I always breathe, generally, even at night, I always breathe. When I sleep, sometimes I stop breathing quite regularly, I think.

You know, I've noticed that people, sometimes I watch on the news, and there's this demonstration, and there's these people, they're demonstrating about something that's very, very serious. Placards, you know, big boards with, is placards the right word? Placades. But, you know, big pieces of cardboard or board with writing on it.

And there's thousands of those. I'm not sure if they need that many. They only really need one at the front, don't they? Like a big one at the front, so people can see.

Maybe one at the back, you know, so people can know what's about. Don't need one all the way through. You know, if you go into a shop, like, I don't know, McDonald's.

The McDonald's sign is at the front, isn't it, on the shop, right at the, you know, above the entrance. And I walk in and see a thousand other little signs. I was hoping for a better example than that.

I think maybe the reason my neck is hurting is because of the way I'm sitting here. I wonder if it would be better if I lied down. Oh, let me see.

No, not at all. It's probably less comfortable, if anything. I've never felt so angry.

That's why I don't like to lie down when I do these, because I do now feel like going to sleep. So, when I was in the Sea Cadets, I really, I wish I'd think more before I go back to various things that maybe I was talking about previously, because I've gone back to the Sea Cadets, like, you're talking about it. I've really forgotten what my point was.

So, I'm now trying to distract you a bit, while I try and remember what it was I was going to say. And I'm wondering, telling you that I'm trying to distract you, I'm thinking it may be that it might not work as well. Oh, by the way, I did, I've been working on my website and stuff.

I've got a new YouTube channel for chronic pain. It's Jason Newland's Chronic Pain Hypnosis, or something like that. Chronic Pain Relief Hypnosis.

Anyway, I finished sorting that channel out. And, oh yeah, I was working on my website, the main website, jasonnewland.com, and I want to sit up again. Oh, my neck actually hurts.

I don't know why. Maybe it needs chopping off. So, I was in the Sea Cadets.

No, it's still gone. So, I'm working on my website. I've added a testimonial page to the site.

And I used to have that before, a couple of times, but I have to pay for it. It costs me money every month to have that on there, so that people can submit their own testimonials. If you have any questions about what I do, then, you know, please go to my website, click on the testimonial page, which is at the top of the screen, and just add your own testimonial.

Maybe just say something nice. Well, ideally, say something nice. If you say something horrible, then I'm just going to delete it.

You know, in the same way as if you give me a roast dinner, and then just spread peanut butter all over the top of it. I'm probably not going to eat it. In fact, I won't eat it.

Someone writing a bad testimonial or putting a horrible comment online about me is very much like receiving a cooked meal, roast dinner, covered in peanut butter. I think it's the connection. Oh, my neck.

You're about to hear some background sounds. Maybe that's the secret, is to hope there's background sounds. And there is none.

Instead of sitting here, wishing that there won't be any. And often is, often is, maybe, I feel like I need to put some kind of neck brace on. The strange thing about it is, I've woken up with a neck, well, I wake up every day with a neck, but I wake, you know, sometimes I wake up with a bit of a neck strain, or maybe slept on it.

Too excited to know I slept on my neck. I must have slept on it wrong. But you're not supposed to sleep on your neck, are you? You're supposed to sleep on your body, and then your head rested on a pillow or something.

If you manage to actually sleep on your neck, that's a yoga position that hasn't been invented. Hopefully it will reduce, keep you more comfortable. And it started last night, and I hadn't even been to sleep.

Mind you, I was watching The Walking Dead. Maybe that's what happened. It could be as simple as, I'm 47, and that's what happens.

It could just be that. We all get aches and pains. It's not really a big deal, is it? I kind of find it quite funny, really, in some ways.

It always seems to be something that's, one part of my body that's a little bit out of sync, possibly. I rarely wake up and think, right, today's the day of the marathon. I'm going to run that marathon.

I'm going to fly to the moon. I wonder what it would be like to be super positive all the time. And how do those people get friends? I'm not talking about just, you know, happy-ish people.

I'm talking about the go-getters. Everything, you can do anything. Maybe I'm a little bit on the other side of things.

A little bit more miserable sometimes, which I am. Sometimes I'd like nothing more than to roll up in front of the fire, on the rug, and just feel sorry for myself. Yep, I am a dog.

Actually, I am a dog. I like to metamorphosize into a dog and just give myself a nice wash. So that's kind of, I think that's it for today, because I'm sitting in quite an unusual position.

And there's no reason why I have to do this sitting in bed. I'll tell you what's strange. I've spent years and years and years and years and years and years, I mean I'm talking 28 years or whatever, when most of the time I'd be sitting up in bed.

I don't mean the whole time, I mean when I was at home watching television, because I'd be living in a small room that only had big enough for a single bed and maybe a wardrobe. There was no room for a chair or anything like that. So I used to sit up in bed.

But now, the last few years, I've been sitting in chairs and sitting up in bed is actually not as comfortable as I remember it. Oh well. So I hope that I've managed to bore you.

And I'm going to go and have some food. But not peanut butter. So take care.

My name is Jason Newland. Website is jasonnewland.com. Please leave a testimonial. Yes, thank you.

If you would, that'd be brilliant. Take care. See you next time.

Bye.