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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland, this is a let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Yeah, so I hope you're well, I hope you're excited about the next hour.
Andre is doing something in the bedroom, I'm not sure what, I've just given him some dinner. I'll tell you the good thing about him, one of the good things I like about him is he's not greedy, generally.
He is sometimes, so if I'm eating something and he wants it, then he's greedy, but he always knows when he's had enough, I give him a bowl of food, he eats, sometimes he'll only eat a quarter of it, or maybe half of it, and he'll leave it for later, so he's not, when he was little, because he grew up, well he was born with brothers and sisters and stuff and they all used to fight over the food, so when he came to me, he'd only been eating, I suppose they used to fight over the nipples, the mother's food, and then when they went on to hard food, they would be fighting over that as well.
So when he came here, when he first got here, he used to scoff down every single bit of food that he got given. Over time, he realises that I'm not going to be eating his food. I think first of all, he looked at me, looked at my belly and he thought, I'm not chancing this, I'm eating this food now, it might not be left for later, it's like, it's very rude isn't it, just assume that I've got a belly, that I eat cat food, that I steal food from a ferret.
Hello Andre, let's see if I can pick him up, no he's gone off the other side of the room, if he knows I'm going to pick him up, he runs away, for some reason, he likes playing, he likes that, he likes me chasing him, don't you Andre, yes you do, I can see you, if he comes over, I'm going to pick him up, and you probably might hear him in the background, he's rustling around, oh, oh, he's very, Andre look, look, what's that, he's under the chair, so I can't get to him, he's very clever,
so clever the way he hides, he positions himself in places that he knows I can't grab him, hello, hello, you alright, you okay, is that my tummy, is that daddy's tummy, I just had something to eat a little while ago and my stomach has gone gurgly burbly, hasn't it, are you giving me kisses, you are beautiful aren't you, when you're not pooing, little poo machine, that's what you are, the cutest poo machine in the whole wide world, yes, yes you are, he's just staring at me now, what are you staring at me for, okay he
wants to get down, go on then, get down and do your thing, whatever your thing might be, I'm very tired, I'm tired, oh yes I am, oh the adverts are back, so that's it, I'm not even going to talk about it, it's, if I can't make something of this, doing this stuff online, if I can't turn it into something that is able to support me, then there doesn't seem to be a lot of point, after all these years, I think I should, it's time, yeah, it is time to do that thing, it's time, it's time
to play the music, it's time to, it's time to, have I had any messages, have I, I think I did get a message, I think I got a nice message earlier, but I can't remember where I read it, but it was nice, it was, let me check, did I get it, there, no, did I get it as an email, hmm, I think I did, okay, no, I've lost it, I had a message from someone, who sent me a message, obviously, I got a message from someone who sent me a message and I can't find it,
but it was nice, they were saying nice things, but I can't find the thing, unless it was last night, ah, there we go, here we go, nope, this is from Kissy, it was, hi Jason, I just want to say I love your podcast, to help me when I'm in pain, I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled out, so listening to your podcast helps to relax the pain, so thank you for that, it's nice to know, okay, again I didn't, I've already read that one out, so yeah, that's the only one then, so if you
want to leave a message, you can go to my website, all of my recordings are on my website available to stream for free, and also there is a download link next to every recording, so that's there, yeah, they're all in, it's all organised, nice and neat, just like my toe clippings I've collected the last 17 years, very neatly, all into a little book, with dates, that sounds wrong, that's a territory that I don't want to go into, no, no, no, no, no, so the last couple of days have not felt hugely wonderful, yesterday I mentioned
that I wasn't feeling great, and today, again I went through a period when I was feeling alright, and then I didn't, and you know, it's just how it is, but I'm feeling, I think a bit better now, I'm feeling tired, definitely feeling tired, but I've got a few plans in the, in the, planned, got a few plans planned, so the, I'm looking forward to getting an exercise bike, because I think it's going to help to transform my fitness levels, especially cardiovascularly ones, I've been working out on the punch bag a bit more often, which is
good, yeah, I'm just going to, I do like an overall workout, but I like to do things slowly, I'm very, I suppose methodical would be quite a good word, and I know that my body can, I know that I can reduce the fat from my body, and I know that I've done it quite a few times over the years, so I know it's possible, and I know how to do it, so it's, I've been doing a bit of research, a bit extra research online, watching some videos aimed at people like me, and a lot of
people over the age of 50 get fit, people that are less fit than me, because yeah, I've got a belly, and I'm overweight, you know, I suppose fat wise, I'm fat, you know, I'm overweight, but it's not all over fat, I'm not fat, I'm sure I've got levels of fat everywhere probably as well, but it's less so than, you know, I don't have fat legs really, although I'm sure there is cellulite in my legs, there's a guarantee there is, but the thing is, I've got the time to do it, but I don't feel very motivated
to do it, I like punching a punch bag, when I feel like punching a punch bag, because it's fun, doing sit ups, and I've got a sit up bench that I bought about probably 2 years ago now, I've had it for quite a while, and I can't remember the last time I used it, in fact, it was in my bedroom, I forgot I had it, because it was covered up with clothes, I do, you know, there's, I've got different types of clothes that I wear, there's the clothes I wear when I'm indoors, which is just,
I suppose, tracksuit bottoms, although I need to get some decent ones, because these ones are falling apart, but I've got 4 sets of tracksuit bottoms, which means I've always got, hopefully, at least 2 spare pairs to wear, and then, usually when I'm down to even my, I've got one pair left, that hasn't been worn yet, and I'm still wearing a pair, then I wash the other 2, or maybe wash 3, and put the new one on, and, you know, there's obviously, there's the underpants, and socks, you know, the stuff that no one, no human would
want to touch with their bare hands, that stuff, that's why I was always very kind to my laundrette lady, who, because I had the same, I did, I had the same laundrette lady for, for how many years, at least 7 years, yeah, she was my laundrette lady for 7 years, and I think she became my laundrette lady again for a while as well, in 2001, but then I had a washing machine that I could use at the end of 2007, for 4 years, I think it was, yeah, not the end of 2007, sort of summer,
I don't know whenever it was, and, the funny thing about it is, well it's not funny, it's not really a funny story, but it's a true story, I've met some nice people in my life, and I would say, I'm guessing we all have, and I know some people would say, well everyone's nice, and some people would say, well everyone's horrible, you know, it depends on people's moods and stuff, but, there's levels of niceness, you know what I mean, and, there was a, I was working in this, it was an agency work, so I was working
in this factory, it wasn't a proper job, but it paid me, I think £100 a week, which was enough to live on, I was living week to week, rent at the time, probably about £40 a week, and, I was just working at a restaurant, I didn't have any bills, so it was basically, I was left with £60 in order to pay for everything that I needed to buy, so it was clothes, food, I don't know, travel, you know, those kinds of things, so, I got by, I got by really well, technically, I was quite good,
because I was used to having nothing, so, like money wise, once I started working, it was weird though, this is 1989, this is, because I moved to London, and I moved back to where my dad lives, and I stayed with him for April 1990 until probably July 1990, so I was there for about four months, and my dad was brilliant for letting me stay there, and we got on really well, because I stayed with him for three different times since I left school, because I was living on my own, and I stayed with him three
times, the first time, I was with him, and I moved out after, yeah, I wasn't there long, I moved out after probably three months, two, three months, the second time I moved in, he asked me to move out, so I did something that upset him, but he didn't ever tell me what it was, but he kind of, it was a different relationship, he couldn't shout at me, I was an adult by then, not mentally, but, well not really physically either, I was still, I think I had pubes, I don't know, but I was still, you
know, 18, so I was quite young, the second time, and then when I moved in the third time, oh he didn't charge me any rent by the way, on any of those occasions, never charged me any rent, and I'm sure I gave him something the third time, because I was, I had quite a good amount of money coming in, things were going really well for me, but, it was weird you know, I'm telling you all this personal stuff, so I moved away, I was doing, in 1989, I was still a kid, I was 18, I
was a teenager, but I was a, very immature, even though I was living on my own, I'd lived on my own since I was 16, I was still very immature, if that makes any sense, and I know some people say well all 18 year olds are immature, but, I don't know, you know, for me, yeah, I've, I've still felt like a kid, I still felt like I was at school, in a way, in some ways, independent, but, not doing a great job of it, if you know what I mean, do I know what I mean,
I'm not sure, anyway, I moved to London, so I had my, I had a job canvassing, double glazing, so I used to knock on people's doors, and, hello, sorry for disturbing you, I'm, my name is Jason, I'm, I'm with Wishmore Windows, or whatever the window company was, do you need any windows done, no, go away, how about a conservatory, no, go away, how about some doors, no, go away, do you need your driveway done, no, go away, you know, bathroom cleaned, nothing, so basically, I think I learnt, I learnt a lot, when I did that
job, that was probably the best job I ever had, for learning, what did I learn, well I came out of my shell, so, it coincided, the summer, so I literally, I tell you what, 1989, was a weird year, really, a lot happened, really, so, the beginning of the year, let's start from the very first day of the year, I got sacked, so I was working New Year's Eve, till probably 2 o'clock in the morning, 1 o'clock in the morning, whatever time it was, we finished, the pub finished, so I had a bar job, and was
told that the tool was short of money, and I had to go back in the morning for more training, I'd been working there for a month probably, maybe 5, 6 weeks, and I said, well, I've got my dinner at my Nan and Grandad's, because I work Christmas Day, so I didn't have a Christmas dinner, and I was invited to have Christmas dinner at my Dad's, or, I think my Nan and Grandad and my Dad and, you know, all together, so I told them I couldn't, because my shift was Christmas, so I had to do, I
was at that age where I just did what I was told, kind of, with jobs anyway, and so I said to them, I've got my Nan and Grandad's for dinner, New Year's Day, they said if you don't turn up, you're sacked, and I said, well, I'm not turning up, then I quit, you know, so that's it, I quit, done, and I went home, I went to my Nan and Grandad's for my dinner, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day dinner, and I don't think I told anybody about the job, because it was New Year's, you know,
it was a celebration, I didn't really want to start talking about how I had lost my job, so I started the new year without a job, then I found out that the person, the manager of the bar was telling the customers, who'd got to know me a little bit, you know, in those six weeks, whatever, that I was working there, they knew who I was, and quite often it was just me on my own in the bar, because the manager did very little, and told the customers that I was sacked for stealing.
Now, in my defence, I would say, how can I be sacked for doing something that they did not catch me doing? No, I didn't steal anything. I mean, how, you can't, well, I'm not a mathematician.
Don't know much about history, don't know much biology, and I'm not a mathematician, but I know that with a till, and this is the old days, this is, it wasn't, we didn't use abacuses, it still wasn't that old, chalkboards, you know, but the tills were made of metal, they weren't made of wood, but nowadays you don't really need to have mathematic ability to add up stuff in bars, because I've worked in bars since that time, and it's a lot easier. Let me tell you about it.
Anyway, I'll tell you in a minute, but I knew how to use a till, because I'd spent two years in a chip shop taking people's money, and I was adding up stuff, but I could add it up onto the, on the thing, you know, add, because you can use tills, you can add stuff up to, it doesn't, you don't have to put in the full amount.
Well, the till in the bar, for some reason they didn't have any of that stuff, it's very, it's like the till was even older than the one in the chip shop. We still had to know the prices of things to put in, so it wasn't like any pictures or anything, and it wasn't no presets, they didn't, if tills like that existed then, I never saw one, and I worked in the co-op as well, they didn't have any of that, which is a supermarket, and I was always making mistakes there as well.
I think it was for me, the pressure, the pressure, the pressure of having loads of people all queuing up, staring at me, and people coming in and buying tonnes and tonnes of food, it just became a little bit, you know, a little bit too much sometimes, and I'd make mistakes, and, but it was never to take money for myself, simply because, well, even at school I would know, if you put in £2, let's say you put in, or $2, let's say $5, £5, whatever, into a till, a till opens, and if you only put in
£3 into that till, and you keep £2 in your pocket, or $3 and you keep $2 in your pocket, and you close the till, the till is going to be short, at £2, and it's going to show up, they're going to see that it's short.
Now, if you put in, if you're going to do it, you put in £2, type in £3 or whatever, put £3 in the till, and you keep the other £2 for yourself. If you're going to be that way inclined, I mean, it's a lot harder now, but it used to be easy. But I'm not a thief, so I didn't do it.
So then, I'm thinking, well, I said to the person at the bar, why would I, why would I take money, and then put in a different amount in the till, put in more in the till, because it's not going to, I think they didn't realise, because when I was at the chip shop, I used to actually tally up, so I used to count the money, I'm pretty sure they counted it after me, but after a while of being there, I used to count the money, and make sure it was all there. So, I knew how to count money, I'm a very clever boy, me, I am, I can count stuff.
But I was trusted with that, I'm not, I'm not a thief, you know, I don't take money off people, never have, never took off people's money, it's not something that I even really think of doing, it's like, well, if it don't, if it don't belong to you, you don't take it, do you? It's, it's fairly basic stuff, I know some people don't seem to have that part of their brain activated, but I do, so there you go.
And, what is it, yeah, so, I couldn't believe that they thought I was that dumb, that I would, if I was good enough to steal, I'd have done it in a way that they wouldn't know. But, yeah, anyway, they got, this is all going to come together, because this involves stealing, as well as other stealing stuff, yeah. But I do want to talk about my friend Jim, who passed away, but I want to talk about him, I'm not going to go into details for that, but it all connects with the lady that did my laundry, see, it's all a connected story.
Believe it or not. Oh, there's a drink there, so, okay. So what did I do? Oh yeah, I started the new year without a job.
Didn't know what to do. Got into a kerfuffle with one of the people that I worked with, that I lived with, and I had to get out of there. And I found a job, I think I stayed at a friend's house, found a job, and my dad put me up for a little while, because I had that job.
And then he wanted me to move out, because I think I was, I think I was just maybe a bit annoying at the time. Actually, I think it's because I worked at the same company that he worked at. And if the staff were doing the same to him as what they're doing to me, then I think he'd have got wound up, because there was lorry drivers there that were making fun of my dad.
And if they were doing the same to him, then I used to tell them to shut up. But I was, you know, some of these lorry drivers, their arms were bigger than my legs. But, you know, what could I do? I still told them to shut up.
And so I was 18. Yes, I was 18. And I had that job for a while.
The man, the boss, I remember the interview, he said, have you got any questions? I said, yeah, when do I start? And he seemed to find that amusing. So he said, start Monday. So I did.
So I started Monday. And it was in this, it was the same company as my dad's, but it was a different department. Because he's, he was, he'd been there a while, doing lots of other things.
I never saw him, never saw him at the job. But I was in the haulage company, organising the lorries to pick up and drop off stuff. I couldn't really get the hang of it.
I'd never worked in an office. I have done since, so I know my way around administration now, having done a lot of administration over the years. Back then, never even touched a computer.
Even when my dad's, I mean, my dad got a, is it Sinclair? What was the original 2000s? Whatever. The original computers that came out back in the 80s, the early 80s, my dad got them. I had no interest.
My brother did, he loved it. He used to sort of write code and get the computer screen to waver him and stuff. But me, nah, not my thing.
But suddenly I'm there, having to sort of learn how to use the Telex machine. Telex machine? For those that don't know what a Telex machine is, I'm still not sure, obviously. I mean, in the late 90s, it still took me a few weeks to learn how to use a fax.
Honestly, it's just, I was never great with learning new technology. Or, see, if I'm honest, if I, I'm moving the microphone about, if I'm honest with new employees, new employers, rather, and I said, I'm a slow learner, I probably would never have got a job. I'd have to pretend, yeah, I'm a quick learner.
But I'm not. So what can I say? If I was in school now, genuinely, I would be in a remedial class. Not at my age, but I would be in the slow.
I mean, I was classed as a dunce when I was at school. I'm a bit slow. I'm not slow as in dumb, or unintelligent.
I'm just, not always. My brain works a million miles an hour sometimes, but it kind of has to be active, it has to be activated. And I don't always know how to do that.
When someone, so let's say someone, so if I'm in a conversation with somebody, and they say something that's ridiculous, or maybe they say something that is aimed at me, suddenly, full activation, and the brain and everything, my mouth, million miles an hour. But generally, I'm quite slow. I talk slowly, everything I do is pretty slow.
And as far as learning, one of the ways I learn, I've learnt stuff over the years. Is that Andre? Sometimes I hear Andre, I think he snores. Andre snores.
Did you know that? He does. He goes, hmm, hmm, hmm. He's been less saucy lately.
Hasn't given his girlfriend much attention lately. The last couple of weeks. He was at it all the time.
Two, three times a day. Now, I guess it's seasonal change. You know, it's turned from summer to autumn.
Literally, like overnight, which is kind of weird. Although the leaves on the trees are still pretty, yeah, pretty solid at the moment, and green, they've not turned brown yet. I don't know where he is.
Anyway, I've lost my track. There it is, found it. I, it's 1989, so yeah, so I, oh yeah, no, that's a different story.
1989, let's stick to the year. Let's stick to the year. What did I do in 1989? Okay, here's what I did.
I left that job, because I didn't like that job. And the boss went off ill for ages and ages and ages. And left me on my own.
And I'd only been there for about three weeks. I couldn't even do a telex properly. And he left me on my own to, to answer the phones, to organise pick-ups and drop-offs and all this kinds of stuff.
I had to do the wages. I had to do the wages for the lorry drivers. And I messed up.
Proper messed up. And the one thing you, well pretty much you don't do to any employee is, they weren't my employees, but you don't do, you don't mess up the wages for employees. People work, because they need to work.
They don't do it just for the fun of it. And some of them, I find it ironic though. Don't complain when they get paid too much.
Don't complain when they get paid too little. And because I messed up, you know, I think it was like three weeks, and then someone came along and said, because I'd been doing them for three weeks, and they said, yeah, shouting, you're paying me too little. And so what my boss did is, and this is before he went off ill, he checked all of the wage slips that I'd done for, I think there was probably about 20, 30 lorry drivers.
So he checked all three weeks worth, including the week where I'd messed up. And I'd messed up previous weeks as well, but it'd been the other way around, I'd paid them too much. They were livid.
I remember one saying, I wish we hadn't said anything now, because you're messing up, but you were paying us more before. I didn't mean to do that either. So yeah, I messed up a lot in that job.
And that, if I'm honest with you, I don't like to be honest, but if I am, I started that job with probably the most, with the intention of doing the best possible job I could do. Genuinely, partly because I'd just come out of quite a traumatic situation. So I was a little bit kind of feeling grateful that I got through that.
My dad gave me somewhere to live because I'd become homeless again. So he helped, he sort of saved me on that one. So I felt grateful there.
So I almost wanted to show him that I could be a success. Plus I was working in the same place that he worked. So I didn't want to embarrass him too late there.
I think I'd done that long before I even left school. But you know, I had a job that was in shipping. And it's kind of a similar, similar kind of role.
Because in shipping, you're putting stuff onto lorries, onto ships. In this case, it was putting stuff onto lorries. So there's kind of a, plus the stuff that went on the ships came from the My friend had worked in a shipping place for I think two years or a year, over a year.
So he knew what it was like to work in an office environment. So he, he gave me some pointers. And he said, just take notes, listen to what you're told, write down what you're told.
So don't try and just remember it. I mean, I've been to school with him, so he kind of knew. He knew me quite well, I think.
So I did, I took a padding to work with me and a copy of the Financial Times. For those who don't know what that is, it's a pink paper. And it's basically it's for people that are into financial stuff.
I'm guessing most people that read the Financial Times can do their times tables. I couldn't. You know, I could do ones, twos.
Actually, I can, I can do the times table like one after another. You know, like, because it's easy, isn't it? You just take off three for the next one, not three, depending on which one it is. That sounded really silly.
So if it's one plus one, two, three, four. Okay, so there's the ones. Two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve.
That was easy. Threes got a little bit more complicated. But three, six, nine, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, 29.
Three, six, nine, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, 27, 30. I was not using my fingers. You've got no proof of that.
Four times table, four, eight, 12. There's a lot of correlation between the three and fours, isn't there, I think. And the twos as well.
It's not very four, eight, it's because it's an even number. So four, eight, 12, 16, 20. So that was easy.
Now wait a minute, four, yeah, 24, eight, whatever. Five times table, easy. Five, ten, blah blah.
So that's an easy one. Six, seven, eight were the ones that I found the hardest. Nine is easy because it's just take one off.
So nine, the next one's 19, take away one, 18, 18, 28, take away one, 27, 37, take away one, 36, 46, take away one, 45, 55, take away one, 54, 64, take away one, 63, 73, take away one, 72, 82, take away one, 81, 92, you know what I mean. It's basically, yeah, so yes, it's plus, it's just add ten, take away one. And that's the number, isn't it? Nine plus ten, take away one, is 18.
18 plus ten, take away one, is 27. You know, that's what I mean. So I found it easy to do the nine times table, even though I just did it wrong, but you know, generally.
Ten times table. So I used to think the fact that I could do the ten times table meant that I'd already excelled. Why learn all the other little ones? I've already learned the big one.
I've done the top one, I've learned that, off by R. So why, you know, I just missed the little ones out. I can do the one times table, I can do the five times table, I can do ten times table. Those are the big ones.
Who cares about six and sevens and eights? I get a little bit stuck sometimes when people say, well, what's seven and sevens? Who cares? What are you asking me for? Have you got a calculator? What's ten sevens? Well, it's, you know, it's, some people like to add up the amount of sevens, but I like to add the tens. Like ten, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70. Ten sevens.
What's seven sevens? Seven tens take away three. Ten sevens take away three sevens. Or, five sevens, what's five sevens? Or what's ten sevens? And half it? Yeah, so, there's different ways.
I just squeaked while I laughed. There's different ways of doing it. Anyway, I was really, really, really, really quite awful at that job.
The thing about it is, I'm going off on one now, but there was a manager, he was one of the top bosses of the company, came down to look after the place and just check up on me. Because I was there so much on my own, that he was concerned. They were like, well, they couldn't replace the manager because he was ill.
So they couldn't replace him because he didn't leave. Eventually, he did leave. But at that time, they couldn't replace him.
And they didn't have anyone. I think they were waiting for someone else to come in and sort of look after the place. But they didn't have anyone at that time.
So one of the bosses, and he must have been in his 50s, maybe even 60s, came in and spent the day. He spent a few days for me actually. One of the nicest people I've ever met at that time.
Really nice. And you know what he said to me? He actually said to me and I don't know why he said this to me. But he said, Stuart, I think that you've got a really good future ahead of you.
Stuart. I said, he used to call me Justin, like just in. I think that's very rude, isn't it? Jason.
I used to know, so I used to work with someone called Justin and he always had his hands down his pants. I worked, this is an adult. Pants, always had, he had tracksuit bottoms on.
Hands always down there. You'd have thought someone would mention it, wouldn't you? So I, yeah, I mentioned it. Yeah, I definitely did.
I, this man, this manager, he said to me, I don't know why he said that, but it was really, it seemed quite like he meant it. He said that I was going to go a long way. He said I've got a lot going for me and I was going to go a long way.
And I'll admit it, I did feel uncomfortable. Partly because I don't know if I'd ever had anyone, like an adult, well probably anyone really, show any kind of faith in me. Up to that point, probably never ever had an adult really told me that I was worth something, that I could be more, you know, that I had potential.
So I felt, I did feel a bit uncomfortable. Plus he was holding my knee. But apart from that, it was, no, he wasn't.
Not my knee. And I, so, you know, I ended up going to a computer course and he was there as well. I had lunch with him and one of the other, like, bosses, like the proper bosses of the place.
This is when the other man came back from, from his being off. And then they get back and he's off again. And I stayed in this hotel in Harrogate.
Big, nicest place I've ever been. Not Harrogate, obviously. But I don't, I can't remember.
I saw nothing of Harrogate. I got on the train, I think, or maybe a coach and I got off and went to the hotel and that was it. I didn't get off and go, you know, Yeah, so I did a computer course.
I can't remember what I did. I spent three days there. It might have been five days.
I don't know. But it was a few days. I think it was about, it was too long anyway.
However long it was, it was way too long. And I mean, I felt like they were saying, well, teach me how to use the printer first, will you? I don't even know how to use a Tippex yet. Can you teach me that? Let's work up, work our way up.
And eventually I left the job. I phoned up my friend, who was my super, my former supervisor at the factory that I used to work, which used to make meters. And I phoned him up and I said, listen, can I have my job back, please? Please, I beg you.
And he said, yeah, start Monday. That was it. So handed me notice in, said that's it, bye, not coming back.
And started work the Monday. So I left on the Friday night. And I went back to work on the Monday, the other place that I used to work at the previous year.
And I think, I think, I think, I think, I'm not sure. I think I might have. That's when I got somewhere else to live.
I lose, I lose a little bit of memory sometimes about how, what all the things happened. But I definitely moved out of there. Got somewhere else to live.
So I left, moved out my dad's because he wanted me out. Still, still let me come back the following year. I just needed a break.
He did a year off. And so work didn't that job. It was shift work.
Mornings six to two and two to 10. Like alternate weeks. Easy job.
As long as you could read, it was like lots of connecting labels to boxes and putting boxes on, you know, making sure things were in the right place, basically. That's all. And I was back.
Kind of where I felt comfortable. And, oh, I know what happened. Yeah, I moved out of my dad's and I went, I, yeah, that's it.
I moved out of my dad's and I went and stayed at my friend's mother's house. She put me out before a little while and she didn't like living with me either. She used to moan because I was having a bath in the morning.
You know, when I had to, when I was doing the early shift, I'd need to leave at half five to get there by six. So it's quite a fair walk. And she'd moan because I was getting up in the morning and having a bath.
I mean, in my mind, I was getting up in the morning and cleaning myself for the day ahead so I didn't stink. But, you know, she didn't sort of see it that way. It's like, well, why don't you have a bath in the evening, go to bed and spend eight hours sweating in your bed, then get up and just put your clothes on and go to work.
Like, yeah, that sounds nice. What a great idea. So, yeah, eventually that became a bit like hard work.
And so this is 89, right? This is what I do next. I leave the job and decide to go to Spain. I decide to move to Spain, like permanently, or the very least for the summer, get a job and hopefully maybe buy work because, you know, I was so good at it.
So I was good at making decisions back then. Not that much better now. So I went.
I mean, I didn't, you know, I basically had probably left on the Sunday, I think it was, or Monday morning. I got paid on the Thursday. Didn't wait till I got paid.
So I had a month's salary going into my bank on a Thursday. In those days, you didn't, you couldn't draw money out of bank machines in other countries. You know, it's the kind of account I had, it was a savings account.
And, you know, it wasn't, I'm not even sure if there was cash machines back then. I'm sure there were. But what I did, and I had enough money because I was working, I wasn't really spending much.
I decided to just go with what I had. So I must have had probably a couple of hundred pounds, maybe 150 pounds. I bought the train, the plane tickets and return.
They wouldn't sell me one unless it was a return. And they, this is whatever company it was. And then there was the, I had to get coach to the airport, which is quite a long journey.
And then there is something like a 22 hour wait for the, for the plane. It was ridiculous. I got there, I think, I guess it was delayed.
But I got there probably about 10 o'clock in the morning, 11 o'clock. And the bus, the, I go for all the different transport things, the bike, the plane, the plane wasn't taken off until I think 8.30 the next morning. So yeah, I guess I was about 22 hours in it.
So I had the time of my life. Really, I was talking to girls, I was just eating, you know, because there was stuff at the, you can have a good time in an airport. Well, I don't know, maybe not so much now.
But back then, really, because everything you got, everything you need, bookshops, newsagents, as much food, toilets, places you can sleep if you, you know, if you don't mind where you sleep. And if you need to get some fresh air, you just go out of the airport and just have a, you know, a cigarette or whatever you want to do when you go out. Have a little dance.
Brilliant. I loved it. I actually read at least three Woody Allen books during my wait.
Like three paperback Woody Allen books, laughing my head off. If you've never read a Woody Allen book, it's really worth it. But the early stuff, I think like Radio Days is one.
Really funny, honestly. But anyway, I also read, yeah, I think it was the first time I'd ever read Fizz. And I was reading that on at the, at the bus stop as I was waiting for the coach.
And I think I was reading it on the bus as well on the coach. I was laughing my toes off. I was really laughing.
It was so funny. So I went to Spain. Got there.
This is going on forever, isn't it? So I'll miss out a few little bits. So I got there, got ripped off by a taxi driver. So I came back.
I came back to no job and no home. So the job had gone. So I didn't turn up.
And the, my home, I basically, my landlady, or my former landlady, who I just left, she said I could stay there the night because I just come back late at night and I don't know where to stay. But I had to be out the next day. So it wasn't too difficult finding somewhere because I had, wait a minute.
Yeah, I know what I did. I found somewhere to stay for free. I think I stayed with a friend and then I was just like, just people's sage and stuff.
And then I ended up staying at another place where I was working for nothing. I was babysitting their child. So I was sleeping in, on the living room, back to sleeping on a camper bed in the living room.
In fact, I might have just been on some cushions while they were doing a night shift and their child was upstairs asleep. And then these are people I'd met at the factory that I worked at. And then bless them, they'd come home at two o'clock in the morning or three o'clock in the morning and have their lunch.
Like, yeah, brilliant. That's just really, and I wonder, and then they, they didn't need me anymore. And I think the, I think the little girl, she went on holiday or stay.
Yeah, I think the summer holidays came up and she went and stayed with her dad for the holidays. And then I started staying out because I couldn't stand being there. It was basically, it was just rubbish.
And in the end I, yeah, I moved out. They moved away. I found somewhere else to live.
At that point I'd started writing my journals. So I was starting to come out of my, my cherry cook, started coming out of my, just, you know, becoming part, finding my own identity, I suppose. And then I, what did I do? I don't even know what I did.
Again, I must've, oh, wow. I mean, I've had, I had a job in an old people's home, cooking, cleaning jobs. I had, yeah, so I had a few different things.
And then I got the job as a canvasser, doing double glazing. And that was really good. And then that came to an end.
The, the company that was selling the double glazing that we were working for, he wanted to just spend the same money. He wanted to spend money on advertising rather than on us. As it is, he went back to the canvassers again, but I'd left by then.
I was in London and I did come back and work for him for a while again the next year. So the end or autumn to that, the autumn 1989, I moved to London and worked in, on an agency for this factory thing in this factory place. Very small at the time.
Turned out being a big, quite big operation. But when I was there, it was pretty small, but not that many staff and very personable. It was nice.
I quite liked it. The job was hard and the people I worked with were kind of old school. I really like pushed full on get the job done, have a laugh afterwards, kind of, but just get the job done.
It was, there was no messing around really. And I was earning a tiny amount of money. I was renting a room and I met someone called Jim, the really nice bloke.
And I think it was from, I think it was from Jamaica, I think. And really cool, cool bloke. Liked his brandy.
And he offered me to stay with him. And so I did. I moved in because he told me that he'd been mugged.
And he came in one day with a black eye and I was like, oh, he'd been mugged. I thought, oh, okay. I kind of, I kind of wanted to look after him a little bit.
Not that he didn't need me to look after him, but I wasn't worried about that stuff. I didn't really, you know, I don't think I was really the target because he was a lot older than I was. And I guess, I don't know, but he said he needs, basically what happened is, I got on really well with him, worked with him.
And then his friend, his friend gave him a leg of lamb to take home. Okay. His friend was a supervisor.
Gave it to him. He got caught by the security guard, got searched, got arrested, lost his job. And I wanted to help him out because after, after that, I went and saw him.
I think, because I knew where he lived. I went and saw him. Asked him how he was and he said, oh, I don't know what I'm going to do.
You know, money wise, it's going to be hard. And I said, well, and eventually, I don't know how he came around it, but he offered me to rent his room out. One of his rooms, you know.
He had a lovely flat. Big, big, probably, it's the old fashioned council flats in the capital, the tower blocks, but big, really nice. And so I moved in there and I still kept myself to myself.
I wasn't really, he had a girlfriend. I didn't really want to get involved in, in, you know, he was doing his own thing with her. And she got arguing and stuff and, you know, and I think he was a bit of a drinker.
And yeah, anyway, so he passed away and I moved out. His girlfriend ended up being my laundrette lady. And we never, we didn't talk about Jim.
We didn't talk about him for years and years and years. We didn't even acknowledge that we knew each other. And then probably, because I moved out of London again, I came back in 91.
And it was probably 92, 93, that I started to be friends with her. And she asked me, she thought it was weird that I moved out so quickly, like suspicious or something. And I just said, I was freaked out.
That's I couldn't have liked someone more than I liked Jim. He was lovely. Honestly, he's yeah, he's really nice.
And the ironic thing is, he had, I think, a twin brother, or a brother that looked exactly like him. And she moved in, he moved in, and she started dating him. And she was about three foot tall.
I'm not joking, she's about four foot tall. Really, really tiny. I remember, I remember I had to give her a bunk up onto my shoulder so she could get the cup of tea off the table.
And do you remember that scene from ET, where he's running around and he's got that cloth over him. He's like, I think it's Halloween or something. It was like that when she was doing the laundry.
Things would just get like, fall on her and she'd be running around like, oh, get it off, get it off. So, 89, I worked the Christmas at the place, gave cards out to everyone. No one gave a card to me, no one gave a card to each other.
I think I was probably the first person in the history of that company ever to give cards out to each other. You know, it was almost foreign to them. And so yeah, I just, I had no friends.
I was in East London, I knew nobody apart from the people I worked with. And I kind of suppose I spoke to a couple of people I lived with as well. So they were kind of my closest friends, was the people I worked with.
I was spending eight hours a day with them. Yeah. And then I carried on working January, February, March.
And I remember I got some new glasses for reading. I think I sat on them. I didn't mean to, I didn't purposely sit on them.
I don't know what I'm going to do, I'm going to sit on my glasses, I'm bored. No, I sat down on them. But I used to be able to open my window, and there was a window sill, but it was on the kind of roof that I could sit outside.
And as soon as the weather started to get nice, and it was getting lighter in the evening, so probably February time, I used to get home, I'd be finishing work at about 3.30 in them days. So I'd be home by about four. They changed it to about 3.30, or was it 4.30? I don't know.
Yeah, I think it was about 3.30. So yeah, it'd be nice, and I'd read. I'd go to bed, go to work, you know, same thing. And then my friend, I contacted my friend, who was doing a canvas, and he said, yeah, there's a job here for you if you want.
So I, you know, phoned my dad up, told him, and he said, yeah, you can come back. All my stuff was at my dad's. So I had DVDs, I didn't have DVDs back then, videos, albums, books, stuff, basically, I left it with him.
So they were all kind of stored in his room, not in his room, in his house. So when I went to London, I had nothing other than just my clothes. And it's quite weird, you know, I hadn't been gone for long, so what, six months.
I come back, and six months without seeing my stuff. Even though it wasn't anything particularly exciting, but six months, not being able to just, it was kind of almost exciting, it was exciting. Looking at my stuff again, it's like, oh, these are my books, these are my, I don't know if I'd feel that way, I guess I would if I had six months not being able to live here.
And then I come back, and it's like, wow, it's my punch bag. Where's Andre? But you know, it'd be weird, it's my table, it's my old, it's my television, it's my microphone, it's my outdated iPad. So yeah, so yeah, I came back, well, I didn't come back, I came back to where my dad was, started the canvassing job, and then I got another job back in the factory again where I used to work, doing the meters, this time it was night shift, so I held both jobs for a while.
I was rolling in it. I went from zero money to too much money, in a sense. Yeah, it was nice.
Anyway, that's my little story. I sort of started thinking about Jim, two of the nicest people I've met, Jim and the man from the place that I worked at, who told me that I really had a lot going for me, and I had potential. No one had ever said that to me before.
It meant something, it really did. Still does, actually. Still does.
Anyway, that's me. So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy.
So do something nice for yourself today. See you later. Lots of love.
Bye.
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.