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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
Yeah, that's it really. And if you would like to help support this free service, please go to my website. There's a page where you can help and the PayPal is paypal.me forward slash jasonnuland.
And not asking for donations and asking for money for me to go and have fun. Just need to cover the costs of the website, podcast, internet, and the, you know, just the equipment that I use and general stuff. Just making sure that everything's covered.
And that's it. So this month has been covered. So it's always good to get something in ready for next month.
So again, thank you to everyone for helping. And I need to do a big shout out to Brad from YouTube. I was I was trying to figure, figure out who it was that I was, I was trying to find the person on my phone that I was supposed to do a shout out for.
And Brad actually sent me a message on YouTube saying, it was me. You know it, it was me do a shout out for me. So I am hybrid.
Thank you for your support. And thank you for listening. So what other person do I need to do a shout out for? We don't need to do shout outs, but I like to because I think I think I'd quite like it.
In fact, I have liked it. There's something that Boston Chickie did for me years ago. We're talking a long, long time ago over.
Yeah, probably. I don't know, eight years ago, maybe longer. And she got a bunch of people.
This is because Boston Chickie got me into the doing the vlogging like the regular. There was a thing called I forget what it was called now. But it was a 365 day vlogging challenge.
And I joined it, I didn't complete it. I think I did about four days, but never mind. I did.
I was going to do it. And I basically what Boston Chickie did, she introduced me to all of her friends who were vlogging. And I kind of became a little bit part of that community a little bit.
Got to know a few people. Shmumpkin, one of the main people that I'm still in contact with today. He's a phenomenal person.
He really needs to write a book because he's just, he's got so much love in his heart. It's quite amazing. And she basically got together people to make, to do little video clips, wishing me, I think it was a happy birthday.
I think so. And she edited it, put it together and posted it to me. And I don't have it.
I had it on my computer. I downloaded it, saved it and it's gone, which was annoying. It was just really lovely.
No one's ever done anything like that before. So it's, so these people, some of them I didn't know very well, but regardless, it was just lovely just to have people on a video wishing me a happy birthday. It's like, wow.
So yeah, I've been around a long time. I really have. I think when people discover me for the first time, I don't know if some people think that I'm kind of new, I'm a new land, but if I'm a new and I'm kind of, you know, been doing podcasting for maybe a year or two or something, they don't realise I've been doing it for long time.
I mean, I was 35 years old when I started doing the online stuff, making videos, making audios, 35, 35. And in four months time, I'll be 50. So just gives you an idea.
In fact, it is literally to the day in four years time. What is the date today? Is it 25th, 24th? No, I think it's the 23rd. No, it's the 22nd.
Well, well ahead. Not too far ahead. So it's the 22nd today.
It's Wednesday the 22nd of April 2020. 2020. And my birthday is 26th of August 2020, or every year really.
And I'll be 50. So I have to have some kind of a birthday party. And I don't know how.
And the way things are, it might not even, there may not be a chance of doing anything. And it'd be nice to have some, I don't know, lots of presents. I think that's, that's what I want.
Just want lots of presents. Presents, lots of presents. I mean, I don't know.
Andre maybe have been, you know, organizing some kind of surprise party for me. And you know, he's always leaving little presents for me anyway. Admittedly, they are on the carpet and I have to clean them up and flush them away.
But bless him. He was really frisky today. And he wanted to have a fight.
He wanted to have a punch up. So I was lying down on the bed. This was a couple of hours back.
Just I'd been out to get some shopping and I just a little bit tired from it. So I just, you know, I thought I'd lay down just for an hour. That was it.
Lay down for an hour and just relax. Which I did. I fell asleep a little bit and felt fine.
Andre suddenly appeared on my bed, biting the inside between my finger and my thumb. But he wasn't just like, he wasn't nibbling. So I woke up and so I kind of pushed him away and he came back a little bit more.
So what I did is, when I do that, I actually fight with him. And because I know how he would be with another Ferex, I've seen it. They would both bite each other on the neck because it's loose skin.
So they don't really hurt each other. It's more a case of who's the strongest that can hold the other one down. And I mean, it does, I think it probably hurts a little bit, but it's not painful, painful, you know what I mean? It's just uncomfortable, I guess.
Anyway, he was biting me and I nip him and instead of biting him, I can't bite him. I don't want to get my face too close to his mouth when he's in that mode of biting. Although I don't think it could make, could improve my face.
But so I'm there, so I'm moving around, getting out of it and he's biting me and holding my hand down and I'm nipping him just on his neck and holding him and everything. And eventually he's had enough and he starts just licking me. So I won.
I think I won the fight. And after that, he was really gentle, but he just, he wanted to fight that fight. He wanted to maybe be dominant over me or something.
And I didn't allow him. Sometimes I do. And quite often, if we do it and I kneel on the floor and he's on the bed, so there's a whole of the bed, including the duvet.
He climbs under it, he hides from me and then just attacks me. You know, we play like that sometimes. And he just, he is, he loses control and he can't stop himself.
And I, you know, and he won't quit. But for some reason, I don't think he was in like full mode today, but when he's on the bed, I can like chuck him from one side of the bed to the other and push him over. And he loves it when he's in the mood, but he's not in the mood to do it that often.
It was more when he was younger. He loved that when he was, especially when he was little. Once he got over the part of wanting to bite me all the time, which only lasted for a few days, really.
Once he, he, I don't know, I guess once he liked me or he maybe just got used to me. But I've told this story before. The first time we really bonded was when I was drinking a can of lager, watching telly, sitting in my black chair.
In fact, I might not even have had the black chair at the time. I might have done. I can't remember.
But he climbed, I had my dressing gown on. He climbed up my leg and he climbed up my left arm and he went to sleep. And he stayed there for a couple of hours.
And I was doing everything. I was cooking my food, making a sandwich or whatever. And I would go to the toilet and I was trying to hold my left arm up because I didn't want him to wake up.
Because it was the first time I actually felt connected to him emotionally. Because before that, he just didn't seem to like me. Even when he stopped biting me, he just always like running away, you know, didn't want me near him and, you know, none of that stuff.
And after that moment of him going to sleep inside my, the sleeve of my dressing gown, we, that was it. We were kind of bonded. Very, very weird.
I think maybe it was the safety, because he allowed himself to be vulnerable. He put his trust in me, allowed himself to be vulnerable. And from that moment on, he knew that he was safe.
And he's been cool since then. And after that, he was constantly jumping up on me and trying to grab my food and stuff like that. There was a time I used to get pizza and he would grab the pizza and pull onto the floor, like a whole pizza.
And he's after everything. He didn't, I mean, the pizza was bigger than him. Just a slice of pizza was actually bigger than he was, but he would grab it off the plate or out of the box and he'd run away with it and hide it somewhere.
Once I had, someone was up there and I had a little, I think it was a Mars bar or it might have been a crunchy. So I gave my friend one. I said, there you have this.
I had one and he had one. And they just put it on the side. Andre jumped up, grabbed it and ran.
And I went after him and I couldn't find it. I found him and he was there, no crunchy bar, nothing. Just looking at me and I'm like, what, what do you want? I ain't done nothing.
I'm just been, just been sitting here, looking at myself. What, what, what's the problem dad? Well, he used to call me landlord to start with. What's the problem with landlord? And then he's, then he started calling me foster dad, foster dad, not my real dad.
It's a foster dad. And now he just, you know, I think he's, he's forgotten all that. And now he just, um, well, basically I'm his tenant now.
He's my landlord. I think he thinks I'm him. I think he thinks he's my dad.
He won't be surprised. Bless the little thing. So yeah, I went out today and, uh, another lovely day outside and I needed to get a few little bits.
So I decided I'd walk, walk to the shop, listen to some music and then just walk back. Got some toilet roll and a couple of yogurts. Um, no, I didn't need milk.
Didn't need to get some breakfast cereal. I forgot about that. And did I get, no, I didn't get any bread.
I got, I forget what I got. I got a few bits and it was, it was weird because I got, when I got there, a couple of my friends walked in, a couple of the, uh, like neighbors. So they're standing behind me and they're talking and I'm just, I say, shut up.
So I've got my, I've got my back to them, but I kind of tell him, shut up, shut up. I look over and the bloke's looking at me and then he realized it's me. I was like, oh wow.
I'm glad it was, it was someone I knew. Otherwise I could have got in trouble. But, um, you know, I kind of walked back with them and another neighbor that was there, that was like up the road and we walked back and it's kind of weird because we were all going to the same place and we were all coming back to the same place and we all went to the same place separately.
And we just walked back together and we weren't like right next to each other. We had a distance and everything, but it just, I don't know, I might have just banged the microphone. You know what? I actually enjoyed having a conversation with another person, like in person, like a human, not physical contact obviously, but contact, seeing the person speaking to them.
And this person I got on really well with, we were just chatting as we walked home. We're all coming to the same building. We all see, you know, it was just, it was just, oh, okay.
It was nice because I do everything I can to avoid everybody. I do, I do, I avoid people, do what I'm supposed to do, keep away from everyone, don't visit anyone. But then these are the things that I generally don't want to do anyway.
So it's okay. And I wouldn't go out as often as I do to the shops if I could get deliveries, but I can't get them because I'm not on the list. I try to get into a nightclub, isn't it? You're not on the list.
You're not coming in then unless you're on the list. You can't get deliveries because you're not on the list. Okay.
Do you realise I am actually classed as disabled? It doesn't matter unless it's physical. Unless it's physical, it doesn't matter. Yeah, but the, I won't go into it, but yeah, I'm thinking when this stuff is over, Sainsbury's are going to have to do a run and jump.
They're not getting my business anymore because they wouldn't look after me during this situation. They'll take my money all year round for years and years. And how many years have I been using Sainsbury's? I think I started using Sainsbury's in 1991.
So yeah. So since 1991, how many years is that? 2001, 2011. So nearly 30 years I've been using Sainsbury's.
And for many years, it's the only place I ever bought my food. So when I was, yeah, when I was, before I moved here, there was a big Sainsbury's at the corner of where I live, just up the road. It's about a 20 minute walk, but that's where I got all of my food, all of my shopping.
Then when I moved here to this town, when I was just starting my university degree, I did all of my shopping at the Sainsbury's in town, apart from when I, and I lived around the corner from Sainsbury's, I got Sainsbury's shopping from there as well. So I kind of got a mixture of, but it was always Sainsbury's. So when I moved here to this place, I got loads of deliveries, lots and lots of deliveries with lots and lots of stuff.
So all those thousands and thousands of pounds that I've spent, probably 10, 10,000, maybe 15,000 pounds, maybe 20,000 over the years, that's more. And it didn't look after me. And you may say, yeah, it didn't look after me either.
Don't care. It's about, I'm talking about me. I'm the one.
I'm the one that's important here.Me, me. And yeah, so I think I'm going to laugh Sainsbury's right off and hope they go under.
But I guess me not getting shopping there is not going to affect them too much. I hope they go under health. I'm like a little child.
That's it. Hope you hope it all goes wrong for you now. So I'm going to find somewhere else.
Plus I'm no longer, I'm no longer going to go into a shop. I'm going to get deliveries now from now on. Deliveries only when this stuff's finished.
I'm going to get deliveries and I'm going to get stocked up. Like proper stocked up, which is what I normally do anyway. But as time has gone by, I've had less money because things are more expensive, bills are higher, you know, all that stuff.
So I've stopped getting as stocked up as I did in the past. But my goodness, I am going to get stocked up. I'm going to get so many, just everything.
There's so much of everything as long as it doesn't run out. You know, I've got an expiry date, um, which is most things actually, I might act. I'm thinking of looking into the survivalist stuff as well, because you can buy, uh, things because, you know, there's a whole community of survivalists who are probably in some ways enjoying this time because they aren't prepared, very much prepared.
And they don't have to go to the shops. They don't have to do any of that because they're prepared for this. So I'd like to get myself prepared and maybe get loads of the survival stuff that people use when they go mountaineering or on exhibitions.
I think it's also used in the armed forces. So stuff that doesn't have an expiry date that you can just mix with water or you can, or you pull something and the thing heats up or, you know, stuff like that. So, uh, protein bars and things.
So I'm going to look at getting some of that stuff, I think. So that in the future, I can be a bit more prepared for what I didn't ever expect to really happen. So yeah, that'd be good.
I'm gonna, that's going to be my thing. And not quite sure how to go about it. I'll have to google it and go onto YouTube or something like that and look at some videos and get some advice, get some ideas.
I'm not going to go overboard. It's not going to be, I'm not going to be building an arc in the garden. It's not quite, or on the roof or in the loft.
Building an arc in the loft it's not, I'm not quite going to go to that, that kind of lengths, but just a little bit more preparation, because this is for me, living in the middle of nowhere has been kind of the worst part of this. The, you know, not being able to get deliveries, which meant I couldn't just walk to the shops like I used to be able to before I moved here. I literally lived opposite a Tesco before I moved here and I was seven minute walk from town.
I mean, I was actually in the town, but seven, seven minutes walk to the town centre. Now it's about a two hour walk to the town centre, which is not realistic, although my dad seems to think it is. That's all right, it's a good exercise.
Okay, then dad, you do it. You walk all the way to town and then you walk all the way back, carrying the shopping and you let me know how you get on, yeah? Tell me how much you enjoyed it. Then he says, yeah, but I'm 74.
I said, don't bring that old chestnut up. 74, 74, it doesn't make any difference. Just a number.
Age ain't nothing but a number. Going down ain't nothing but a thing. Remember, that's a good saying.
He said, where did you hear that saying from? I said, it was, um, what's her name? What's her name? Yeah, I don't forget what her name was, but she was, she was a singer. Uh, not Isabella. Isaac, Isaac Gee.
Rosickia. Nsync. Well, let's see, if I close my eyes, I might be able to think, I'd see the name.
Isabella, she was Rubella. No, that's, that's a illness, isn't it? Rubenella, Shubenella. Sissy.
I know it's ice. Something's ice. Aiella, Aiella, Aiella, Aiella, Aiella, Aiella, Aiella, Aiella, that's it, Aiella, Aiella, Aiella.
Age ain't nothing but a number. Going down ain't nothing but a thing. The love I have for you, it'll never change.
Mm, mm. That's one of my favorite songs, A Liar. What was the group that she was in? Isn't it the, oh dear, forget, not Nsync, it's not ABBA.
Um, girl, not Girls Aloud. The Beatles, no, not the Beatles. Boney M, nope.
The Crankies, nope, not the Crankies. Um, oh, no, not the Benny Hill Dancers. What was she, because there was one eye, or black eye, wasn't there, wasn't, one of those things, had a patch, I think.
Not a dog, called Patch, but like an eye patch, I think. I mean, I'm, that's what I'm thinking of Gabriela. Dreams can come true.
See, I remember, right, I woke up, I think it was, it might have been a Sunday morning, or a Saturday morning. It was a weekend morning because it was like a late-ish morning, you know, maybe nine, ten o'clock. And the rest of the week, I'd have been up early, six in the morning, or something like that.
See, I used to, used to do weird hours, used to get up early. Oh, man. The thing is, getting up early, in some ways, is harder when it's cold, as far as getting out of bed, having a wash, or a shower, whatever, you know, getting undressed in the cold, especially, you know, not having any heating in the house, or if there was heating in the house, it didn't come on until she turned it on, and I had no heating in my room.
So, I think it was just all, like, heaters that she put on. So, it was a cold house. This is where I was living at the time.
I think it was about 92, maybe 93, 1993, rather than 2093, or 1893, you know, because I'm getting on. No, you're not getting on, you're just going on, and on, and on, and on. Can you please get to the point? No, I'm not going to Can you please just get to the point? Nope, I'm not going to, you can't make me.
There's nothing you can do that will make me do that. I enjoy talking about nothing for no reason. Yes, you surely obviously do enjoy talking about nothing for no reason, but can't you sometimes, just at least once, get to the point? No, I don't want to.
I don't, don't want to. But one of the good things about the winter, getting up when it's cold is, you know, once you're dressed, you can sort of get yourself warm, have a cup of coffee, have a cup of tea, have your breakfast, maybe have a porridge or, you know, something warm to eat, and you feel better then anyway. But I think the benefits of, if you start early in the morning, a nice cold morning is good to walk out and be walking to work, because it's just weird.
It's like, oh, so fresh. Jason, can you do us a favour? What? I'm trying to talk, you know, this is a sleep session. Why are you trying to get people to imagine walking in the early morning when it's really cold and it's going to wake people up? It's not really useful, is it? Yeah, I didn't have a thought about that.
Anyway, it was an early morning, I think probably Saturday or Sunday, and it was really warm and cosy, and I was so, so relaxed in my bed. I didn't want to open my eyes, and I just felt so calm and relaxed. Jason, we know what you're doing.
You can't reverse it by now, trying to get people in touch with feeling relaxed and tired. You're so transparent. Yeah, well, it's my recording.
Yeah, I know, but we are. Just take a little bit of criticism on board, please. No, I don't like criticism.
Nobody likes criticism. I had a cousin years ago, and I lived with her, and she said, I think, what did she say to me? She said, I don't like the C word. I said, you're not supposed to.
That's why it's a swear word. That's why it's the worst swear word. You're not supposed to like it.
It's supposed to be offensive. That's the whole point of it. But I don't like it.
You're not supposed to like it, but I don't want to hear it, because I don't like it. Well, that's the whole point. It's used because you don't like it.
Couldn't get rid around it. So I squirted whipped cream into her ear. It sounded like I had more to say there.
That was it. The whole, well, she was asleep, but I squirted whipped cream into her ear, and she got woken up by about 14 cats. So this is about, I think it's Saturday or Sunday morning, 91, 92, 93-ish.
I think possibly 93, but it was a summer. It was definitely summer, and there was a neighbor playing the Gabrielle song, Dreams. Dreams can come true.
You know you got to have them. You know you got to get them. It's quite a mumbly song.
Dreams can come true. So no one knows what, it's mumbly. No one knows what the actual words are.
And recently, there's a song I like by Elvis Presley called One Night With You. One night with you is what I'm now praying for. The things that we two could plan, I think is the words, would make my dreams come true.
Just call my name, and I'll be right by your side. And reverse, giving you my sweet helping hand, our love's too strong to hide. And in this next bit, I never knew what it was.
I always thought it was, always live, never quite like, I never do, no. But it was, it wasn't, always live, never quite like. That's what I thought it was.
It's not. It's always live, very quiet life, a very quiet life. But it mumbles it.
Very quiet life, very quiet life. It's not actually comprehensible or comprehensible auditorily. And I looked at the lyrics because I was listening to it and looking at the lyrics at the same time, because I needed to look at the lyrics in order to be able to talk about it.
And I was surprised. So it's like, always live, and then a really quick sentence, filling lots of different, a really, really extremely quiet life. But he says that all in the same sentence and at the same speed and filling the same amount of gap as he would be saying, uh, uh, uh.
Like, no, I never did nor wrong. Now I know that life without you, being too lonely, too long. It doesn't, I really like this song.
And I think the reason I like it so much is because you can really hear his voice. And you may say, yeah, you can hear his voice on all the albums and all, all the records. That's kind of how it works.
Yeah. I don't mean that you can't hear his voice on anything else, but it was a real, um, I'm just, I'm not, I'm enjoying saying, um, lately. You can really enjoy, it's, there's a roughness to his voice.
It does sound like it's live. Like, you know, it's really being just recorded live there and there. And that's it rather than like lots of editing and rerecording and recording over and, uh, you know, because when someone makes a record or makes an album or a song, let's say I didn't realize it did this, you can, I've seen it now.
I've seen it on documentaries and I always, I even saw it on a, when I went to a recording studio, they tried to do it with me is, so let's say Mariah Carey. I'm trying to think of a song. Okay.
Uh, Tony Braxton. Um, how could an angel break my heart? And the record person listening, you know, the mixer producer, whatever. Yeah.
Producer. He would sort of, you might say, or Tracy. No, Tony, did I say Tracy Braxton? That's her sister.
She, she also recorded that song as well, but, um, just as a, a bit of fun. And it was in her bedroom and it was just her boyfriend that pretended to be a producer. They're not related.
She doesn't exist. Tony Braxton. How could an angel break my heart? And then the producer would be the other side of the glass and say, you know what Braxton, I like the first bit, but can you please sing sort of about my croaky voice? I was, uh, having a conversation with someone through a window earlier on.
And, uh, they were actually in a helicopter. So I was doing quite a bit of shouting. I live in a high, an apartment, an apartment quite high up.
And my friend just popped around, but of course they can't actually come in, can they? So he came around in a helicopter and we were just shouting at each other through the windows. That's why I've got a croaky voice. And he's, uh, he said, Braxton, can you please sing that last part? Just the last, my heart, not the rest of it, just my heart.
Hey man, all you do calling me Braxton. My name's Tony. Don't you be calling me Braxton.
My name's Tony. I don't need to have a bit of respect. I imagine she sounds like, have a bit of respect, man.
Don't be calling me no Braxton. I'm a, I'm a star. I'm a superstar.
Okay. Sorry, Tony. Can you sing that last part? Uh, my heart.
Okay. Yeah, I can do that. No problems.
And, uh, she sings my heart. Or again, to sing, would you sing the whole line again? But I'll take out the, my heart bit and then edit it over the other recording. So there might be like five different recordings of the same, say the same chorus, maybe 10.
And I might take a couple of sentences, a couple of words from one, put it in and then do that. So it's, it's like one, the actual whole of the chorus may be a mixture of 20 different versions mixed together to make it sound as perfect as they want it to. See my record, my producer, when I did a recording for, I did, and you might be thinking, what are you talking about? You ain't never done no recording.
Are you carrying on the band? I actually have done recordings. You ain't done no recordings. Well, you just make stuff up.
No, I have actually made professional recordings in a recording studio. You want me to laugh? You're pulling my leg. I'm going nowhere near your leg.
You just made, why are you making stuff up all the time? You've never been in a recording studio. You can't even spell recording studio. Actually I can.
That's a bit of a rude thing to say. Why would you say I can't even spell recording studio? I don't know. It's something that my parents used to say to me and other people that lived in my area used to say that as well.
And I thought that it's the right thing to do, just to copy what other people do and to not have an original thought. Okay, cool. Okay.
It's much easier that way. If you don't think for yourself and you just repeat what other people say, it almost becomes like the actual language. It becomes part of the language, even though it isn't really.
Oh, well, what kind of things do you mean? Well, it's raining cats and dogs. That's a term. And you can say that.
And when someone does say it, it's funny. Yeah. It's raining cats and dogs.
So you could say it's raining mice and cheese. No, no, that doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense.
So saying it's raining cats and dogs makes sense. But saying it's raining mice and cheese is weird. Is that what you're telling me? Yeah, yeah.
That's what I'm saying. Any other ideas? So I can learn this way of being so I don't have to think about what I'm saying. I can just copy.
I suppose it'd be good to free your mind, wouldn't it? To not have to think. Yeah, that's the point of it. And it's really funny because even though everyone's heard it loads of times, probably hundreds of times, they can still laugh because it's just, that's part of it.
We have to laugh when we hear it, even though it's, well, I don't know. We've heard it so many times, but it's just a communication. It's a way to communicate.
Okay. So what other things, what other kind of ideas, what other kind of terms do you use? Well, if someone says, I'm not going to say the actual word because it's a naughty word, but they say, effing hell. Okay.
What you have to do after when he says that, he says, I hope so because there's no television there. And you can laugh loudly afterwards as well. Just that way they know it's funny.
Oh, okay. But how often would you say that though? It'd just be a one-off. You wouldn't like keep saying that, would you? No, no, you keep saying it.
I mean, not during the time, but every time. Only whenever anyone says effing hell, you'd say, oh, uh, I hope so because there's no television. And then you need to let them know it's funny by laughing.
But doesn't it get to a point where everyone's heard that joke? Oh, I don't know. I've not really thought about it. Why? Why have you not thought about it? Uh, wait a minute.
Oh yeah. Up here for thinking, downstairs for dancing. What? Up here for thinking, downstairs for dancing.
That's another saying. Yeah. That didn't, that didn't seem to fit in with what we were talking about.
Doesn't always have to fit in. So if someone says effing hell and I say, I hope so because there's no internet. No, no, you can't say that.
Why not? Well, it's not the same, is it? Well, it's an updated version, isn't it? Of, um, mindless thinking. It's an updated version, isn't it? Yeah, but it doesn't work. You don't like, um, yeah.
I actually, when I was, yeah, living in my student accommodation, it wasn't really student accommodation, but they did rent the rooms out to students and it was private. And I remember I was talking to my landlady once and I said, Oh, I've got to go to the little girl's room, you know, to the bathroom and to the toilet for a poo. But yeah, didn't go into details for that one.
And just, I've got to go to the little girl's room. And she said, really seriously, she looked at me, said, don't you mean the little boy's room? I said, no, I purposely said little girl's room, making fun of just the, just these sayings that are just, they were funny. I'm sure the first person that said, I've got to go to the little boy's room.
I bet it was really, really funny to hear the first time whoever said it the first time it was funny. A hundred years later, it's probably, you know, it's not even cute. I guess it might be.
I mean, I suppose I'm going, you know, if you're on a date and the person really says, I just got popped to the little girl's room, rather than, I'm just going to have a crap. I suppose I need to go and change my tampon. It, you know, it can, it probably sounds a bit nicer, perhaps.
I've got to go to the little girl's room. It's just, yeah. And I don't know even what, what are they called? Is it cliches? Is it, I don't know what they are, but for years, I've wondered why people do them.
And I'm talking years and years and years since I was a kid, because I learned them and I thought, okay, these are all right. Some of them are fairly okay. But then I noticed that people were using these sayings as part of the language, like they'd embedded it into it.
It's the whole, like, would you Adam and Eve it? Now, most people don't use rhyming slang anymore, apart from people that are trying to hold on to, I don't know, some kind of London that maybe didn't ever really exist. You know, some kind of fantasy, fantasy version of London where everything was wonderful and lovely and possibly never was quite that lovely. It's sort of a Mary Poppins version of London, I guess, where rhyming slang takes longer than saying the actual word.
You know, who'd Adam and Eve it? Believe it. When you say believe it, Adam and Eve it, it takes longer. Let me have a word in your shell-like ear.
That doesn't even rhyme. So, shell-like, pike, pike and beer ear, I don't know. I don't know how they get to shell-like.
But then I suppose an ear looks a bit like a shell, doesn't it? A little bit, but not quite echoey. And you can't drink orange juice out of one. Although any liquid does look a little bit like orange juice when it comes out of the ear.
So, I don't know. What other ones are there? Things that people use. And if you say it differently, it really throws them off.
So, my suggestion is say it differently and really throw them off because it's fun. And these phrases have no meaning, not really. They're just, they've caught on and people use them.
So, there's a phrase that's back in, I think, like the late 90s, no 2001, but like, late 90s, early 2000s. There was a whole new kind of way of speaking in London. And it changed.
It was very, it was kind of everybody, all the young people were kind of talking like this, regardless of where they were from in London. So, like, get me, sweat. What was the other ones? It's just a minor.
So, it's just a little thing, just a minor. What other way, what other things? And I can't remember. Some of the sayings were just, it was funny to listen to.
And then it really caught on. And people that perhaps shouldn't be speaking like that, started speaking like that. And then posher people started speaking like that, but they had their own version.
And started saying, like, swear down. And I think what happened is, because my goddaughters were doing it, and they were doing it mockingly. But I think if you do something enough, it sort of becomes part of your speech.
So, they were mockingly saying, swear down. Yeah, I really did it, swear down, really happened, swear down. Making fun of people that actually do say that.
And then you hear them in a real conversation or an argument, and they do say, swear down. Have you heard yourself? Have you heard? I know it's probably no different from using words like cool or groovy. I'm sure when I was young, I'd use words that my parents wouldn't use, or my grandparents wouldn't use.
I'm trying to think what. So, I like the word groovy. And I know no one uses groovy anymore.
Nobody, no young people use it. Most, most, nobody uses it. I don't think, I can't remember the last time I heard anybody use the word groovy.
But I've been using it for years and years, because I like it. There's no groovier word than groovy. My boss, when I was counselling for Mind, she wasn't my boss, because I was self-employed, but she was in charge of the counselling service.
And I used to get on really well with her, and she used to make fun of me, because I'd say groovy. And I just like, I can't help it. I just, I can't help it.
I'm very much aware of the words I'm using, apart from when I'm not. And I think groovy. I mean, there used to be a time when I was a big fan of Frank Bruno, and I wanted to talk like him.
And Frank Bruno is a boxer in England, and he became a world champion in 95. But before that, he was still the most popular boxer in England, above any world champion that we had. We had many world champions during that time.
He was the most popular boxer in the UK, or let's say England, in England, because Barry McGuigan would have been the most popular boxer in parts of Ireland. And even though Barry McGuigan was a big star, Frank Bruno was just the most popular boxer. He was a celebrity.
He was a personality. Anyway, he used to say, you know what I mean? You know what I mean, Harry? You know what I mean? When he did his interviews post-fight, you know, when he'd had a boxing match and then boxing match, he'd had a fight. Harry Carpenter used to interview him.
He used to interview him and he said, Harry, yeah, I'll hit him. And he went down, you know what I mean? And I punched him, you know what I mean? And he just fell over, you know what I mean, Harry? And it became a catchphrase that he had, you know what I mean, Harry? Now, it's not that I wanted to be like Frank Bruno, because I knew that wasn't going to happen. Yeah, just, there was very little, there was no similarity between me and him.
I mean, he was a huge, strong man, heavyweight boxer, with muscles, biceps bigger than me head. And he had a deep voice. And, you know, so I was never going to be anything like him, physically.
But I thought, if I say, you know what I mean? And I kind of have some kind of, how did I just, there'd be, there'd be a connection, maybe. So that's what I did. And for a while, I was saying, you know what I mean? After, I think every third word, it'd be, you know what I mean? And I'm trying to think, it's hard to even do it without, like, thinking about it.
So hello, and welcome, you know what I mean? To this, let me bore you to sleep, you know what I mean? Recording, which is aimed at, you know what I mean? Allowing you to relax and sleep, you know what I mean? And it was literally that bad. And it was, I suppose, on par with some people that use the word like, it's like, like this, and like, it's like, and, and I've noticed some people, and this is more on the radio, but it's, you know, sometimes on the TV, they use the word, obviously, way too many times, way, way, way too many times. And they use it out of context as well.
Because something's only obvious if the other person knows about it. What's he doing? Oh, he's having some food. So if I say to you, and people will be listening to this regularly, you know a bit about me and I say, obviously, I make other podcasts for, you know, for sleep session, you know, obviously, I made the Deep Sleep Whisper recordings.
If you know what I do, you know, you obviously, I've got a ferret called Andre, you know that. So it is obvious, which could lead me into what I'm saying. But if you're talking to someone that doesn't know you, I say, well, obviously, my my child is in school at the moment.
That's not obvious. Didn't know you had a kid. Why is that obvious? And so that's what I mean by some people overuse the word.
And maybe they're talking to themselves as they speak. So they're, they're trying to say something to you. But at the same time, they already know that information.
So they say, well, obviously this, but it's not obvious. In fact, it's far from obvious. Obviously, obviously, obviously.
So whenever I hear the word, obviously, my ears flap. They do, my ears literally just start flapping. And I start listening really, really, really intensely on what comes out their mouth next.
As to whether or not the word obviously, was correctly placed within that sentence. Sometimes it is. So you know, obviously, we will have to keep our distance at the moment.
That's, that's an obvious thing. But some people, some of the people that do use the words, obviously, obviously, you know, the, the mortgage has gone up. How is that obvious? Only people know about that is you and your bank.
You know, we don't, how do we know that? It's not obvious. Obviously, I've lost weight. But how do we, I just met you, didn't know what weight you was before.
It's not like we weighed you a year ago, before meeting you now. So obviously, I should probably go. Andre, can you do, can you do a nice sound effect before we go? He's gonna come and give me cuddles.
Give me cuddles. Well, that wasn't a very good sound effect. Hello, mate.
Why is always wet? It's basically continuously dripping. Continuously dripping on you. Hey, he was a good boy though earlier.
And I took him into the bathroom, because I needed to cut his fingernails. Didn't I? Yeah, yes, I did. And he just laid there and let me do it.
Didn't wiggle, nothing. Really, really good boy. You're a clever boy, aren't you? Because he knows it's good for him.
He knows that he catches his fingernails in stuff, you know. It's much better when they're shorter. And he knows that if he wiggles, sometimes I end up missing the nail and cutting off his foot.
You really are very lovable, Andre. You really are. He's laying on his back, and I'm playing with his feet, his back feet.
And he's just laying there. I'm tickling his feet. Do you like that? Yeah? You do, don't you? Is it relaxing? Is it calming? Or are you just laughing inside, because you know that you've walked in some dog poo when we were out earlier, and now it's all over my fingers.
Is that, yeah? It's like a little practical joke he was. Sometimes I do think he's got into a trance, because like right now, he's just laying there. And he's just, it's like his eyes are glazed over.
And as I move his little legs, with my fingers just in the middle of his feet, he's just there, just not moving at all. Just laying on his back. I'm holding him with the other hand as well.
He's just there, not doing anything. Not trying to get down. Are you? No, he's just got a bit sneezy.
A big sneeze. You need to go to little boy's room. Obviously.
I think he must, oh, he wants to get down now. Okay, see you later. Give daddy kisses.
Give daddy kisses. Give daddy kisses. Give daddy kisses.
Oh, thank you. Go away. Leave now.
So yeah, that's it really. This is the recording. It's done.
We done it. We done the recording. And probably going to try and do a sleep, deep sleep, whisper, relaxation for stress anxiety one.
And I am due to do a sleep hypnosis weekly. I'm not sure when though. It should be soon.
So I'll be doing that. And yeah, that's it. It's raining men.
Hallelujah. It's raining men. Amen.
Yeah. When I was in the recording studio, they did the same thing. The producer said, oh, you said the word sleep, but the microphone didn't pick it up because you whistle so much when you talk and you lisp a little bit too much as well.
So can you say the word sleep? And he tried to get me to read out sentences. And I didn't like it. I really didn't like it.
Didn't like the process. And there was one recording, I think it was like a sleep recording or relaxation recording. I'm talking for about 45 minutes.
And at the end of it, I said, oh, that's finished now. He'd fallen asleep. So he hadn't done anything.
He'd recorded it, but he hadn't. He wasn't readjusting anything. He just fell asleep.
Oh, dear. I do. It's such a wonderful time to be very short.
Very short. Never a better time. I do sometimes think if I was really, really short, I'd get a really small door.
I don't mean to carry around. I'd carry it on me back. I mean, just I think I would.
I do think that if I built my own house, I'm not particularly tall myself. If I had my own house, I would have the doorframe just built for me, just built for my height. So if anyone else taller walked in, they'd bang the red on it.
Sometimes future amusement needs to be planned. Anyway, I'm going to go now. Thank you for listening.
If you would like me to do a shout out for you, just leave a review on the website, on the review page, and I'll read out the review on here in my next recording. Thanks for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.
Lots of love. Bye, bye, bye.
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.