#37 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks (Jason newland)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. This is Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety and Panic Attacks. My name is Jason Newland. Did I just say that? Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.

So I think before I start this, today's recording, I'd just like to thank you for listening. And this podcast has grown significantly in the last month or so, which is really good. So thank you, and I'm glad that, well hopefully you're liking the new recordings I'm making.

So I've made two new recordings, excuse me, and this is going to be the third one. So I had 34 done to start with, did 35, 36, and now this is 37, I do believe. My mathematics is great.

Now, what I've been thinking about is doing a podcast for stress, anxiety and panic attacks, and relaxation of course, obviously. It's a very wide spectrum of conditions, issues, situations. So it kind of does need a lot of episodes, I guess, in a sense of the various situations that you may be in, where anxiety may have been an issue.

It's not just that, it's, and I was thinking about this earlier, I think we've all perhaps been in a situation where there's been an incident, maybe at work, maybe within the family, it's someone you know that's, perhaps you've had a verbal, maybe disagreement, let's leave it at that, it could be anything, it could be someone's just said something that's been annoying to you, and the thought of seeing them again may be, or may have been, a kind of trigger for anxiety and panic, or for stress to increase.

So what I thought, and I've had these situations myself, where I just not wanted to go into work because of a certain person, who I just didn't get on with. And it's a long time ago, but it was definitely, yeah, it's difficult.

And I managed to work around it in my own way. But it's, you know, there's lots of different avenues to get to that point where you're feeling relaxed about the situation, or maybe you get to the point where you just don't care about that person. You don't care whether the person's going to be there, and you decided you're not going to care enough to let yourself be affected by them.

Because I'm choosing my words here because the fact is, the way we talk about things sometimes is not useful. I'll give you an example. You make me feel this way.

She made me feel this. He made me feel this. Those are three sentences that actually don't make sense, and they're not real.

And you may have been raised to talk like that. I know I was. I'm in a society where that's how people talk, because they haven't looked into it, haven't kind of perhaps realized what they're saying.

And the power of words, the power. So with hypnosis, if you think about it, if you break it down to its very bare bones, it is being influenced by words, being influenced by sentences. But the biggest hypnotist in your life is you.

The biggest hypnotist you'll ever have is you, your mind. The things that you say to yourself influences how you feel about things. So if you say to yourself, that person, I feel this way every time that person's there, because that person makes me feel angry, or that person upsets me.

Then the good chance is you'll be prepared to feel that way. Have you ever been in a room with someone and they may have upset you in the past? See, I'm using language myself, am I? They upset you. You've been upset by someone, someone's actions, someone's words.

And then maybe a few months later, you're in the same room with them, and they're not doing anything. But you're getting annoyed with them, just by the way they're eating their sandwich, or eating their yogurt, or sitting in a chair. They're not actually doing anything.

They might have completely forgotten about you. There might have been a one-off communication months ago, and they don't even remember you. But you remember them, and you're feeling wound up by them.

But they're doing nothing. You're doing all the work. You're basically winding yourself up.

And I don't say this in a blame situation. You must blame yourself, because I don't believe in all that stupid stuff. I believe in being horrible to ourselves, you know, punishing ourselves.

That really, I don't feel is useful. I prefer, you know, being kind to yourself. That seems just a bit nicer, a bit kinder, obviously, a bit softer.

So if we're able to move that thinking just a little bit, and correct ourselves, but without, it's a fine line, correction and, you know, that kind of feeling of, you know, because if someone corrects you, let's say you correct your spelling, or they correct your pronunciation, it's annoying. I find it annoying, personally, myself. So if I do it to myself, I'm going to find it annoying.

So I need to do it in a way that's gentle. So it's more of a questioning yourself, rather than correcting. For example, he made me feel so low when he said that.

Okay, so you question that in your mind. Did he make you? How did he make you feel that way? How did he make you? How can anyone make you do anything, or feel anything? Of course, physically, if someone, you know, hit you with a whip, it's going to hurt and that person is responsible for that. You know, I say, well, I, I'm responsible for the pain, feelings that I'm having.

Of course, that would be silly. But this is different. This is something that you do have.

A saying. I mean, technically, you could say you have a say in the pain side of things as well. That's a different subject.

But when someone's rude to you, first of all, they might not mean to be rude to you. There's a chance they're just a bit maybe having a bad day, or just, you know, that's just the way they are. And they don't didn't mean anything by it.

And they're used to being around people that maybe act the same way as them. That's a possibility. The other side is, if someone's being nasty, then a good chance is, the reason they're being nasty, horrible, angry, vicious, whatever, is because they're suffering.

They're unhappy, incredibly unhappy. Whether they're aware of it, or aware of the cause, or aware that actually that's the reason they are acting out and aiming at other people. And here's another thing, and you don't need to know that.

This is about you, not about other people. It's about your mind and your thoughts. You can't control other people ever.

Can't control what another person thinks. And that's a hard one. You could say, well, all about hypnosis, isn't that all about control? No, not really.

It's about offering. You know, I can offer you, I like the idea of the buffet. I can put a buffet out.

Lots of different bits to choose from. You can choose what you want. See if it fits, try it on.

The size, you know, same as if you go into a clothes shop, you can be in there all day and try on different clothes. You probably can't, because I imagine the staff would get a bit peeved off if you were there all day. But you know, you can try stuff on if you like it.

You can buy it, or choose not to buy it. It's up to you. It's about testing things.

And that's what I do. It's about testing. I offer suggestions.

And some of those suggestions will just go in, because your mind is open to them. Because you are perhaps used to listening to me. You trust me.

And you know that I'm coming from a good place when it comes to this stuff. Because I haven't been where you are. And that's one of my little things I try to keep in my mind that I don't know how anyone else feels.

I don't know. I had years of anxiety, panic, stress. It doesn't mean that I know how someone else feels, that's got anxiety, panic, and stress.

We're different. We experience things differently. I mean, for example, there is, I like boxing.

It's one of my kind of favorite things to watch. And Anthony Joshua, two weeks ago, or three weeks ago, defended his World Heavyweight title and he lost. And he looked really dazed at the beginning of the fight, just before the fight even started, he looked glazed over his eyes.

And it's turned out that he had a panic attack in his dressing room before the fight. And he's in America for the first time. This isn't, I know if you're not into boxing, don't worry about it, because it's not about boxing.

It's about, he was, I guess he was anxious being in America for the first time. And whatever pressures came with that. But having a panic attack, and then going into the ring, and, you know, putting yourself in danger like he does every time, I would have been, I would have begged him not to go into the ring.

If I'd been there and seen that, having known that I couldn't function during a panic attack, and I was unable to function afterwards for a little while. You know, it's never, I never fully recovered for a while. It took me a while to just get back down.

And also I had panic attacks that lasted for absolutely ages in the past. So how, you know, how on earth he got into the ring, and as I said, he was badly hurt, because he wasn't, didn't have his game. He didn't have the reflexes, or he wasn't there mentally.

And after I heard that, it kind of broke my heart because I thought, you know, I struggled to even travel on a train, just to function, waiting for a train, and to get home from Norwich to Ipswich, which is only like a short way. It's about 40 minutes or something on a train. I struggled with that journey.

And just standing on a train station, waiting for a train, you know, that whole, how someone could cope with something big that they had to do. And we're all different. Maybe some people could.

But that goes against the being kind to yourself part. And some would say, well, he'd lost millions of dollars. Yeah, he would have done.

But he could have lost much more than that. He definitely lost a few brain cells that day, that night, due to the punches he took. But that's another situation.

That's another topic. I know that I've gone off a little bit. But I do that.

Because it all comes together. Because it's all the same subject. Just trying to fit in the panic attacks, the anxiety, the stress.

So we all feel, we think differently about it. We experience it differently. And you've only got to go into a Facebook forum or page on any subject, and you see all the arguments that people have about it, about anything.

Doesn't matter whether it's any medical condition, and in the place full of people arguing, saying, no, this is what it's like, this is what it's like. When actually, it's all of those things, it is what it is for you. And so it's quite a big, a big, wide subject.

It's like a big cave with thousands of different kind of tunnels, I suppose. And there's different ways of approaching it. There's the prevention.

There's the dealing with it when it happens. There's the dealing with it after it's happened. There's the preparation for dealing with it.

And that doesn't really go with prevention. As such as prevention, you could say, meditating regularly, listening to these regularly. To the point where you start to actually believe in yourself.

And you start to tell yourself that you're going to be okay. Because, you know, if you hear it enough, you start to believe it. And it doesn't matter who's saying it.

It means more when you say it. But ultimately, if you are in a place where you're constantly being told that you're really good at that, you're really good. You know, you're really creative, you're really, you excel at this, you could be, you know, if you keep getting told that, you're going to believe it.

And, you know, the argument could be, yeah, but if you keep telling someone that they can fly without any kind of, you know, plane, they can just fly themselves in the sky. They can't, no matter how much thinking and how much you tell someone that. Yeah, but why would you tell someone that? If you tell someone that they can sing, even if they can't sing very well.

And they get told day in, day out for years that they can sing, they're going to believe it. And you see that on some of the talent shows, The X Factor, America's Got Talent, you know, different things like that. Idol, is it pop idol? So, but you see the power of the mind, the power of being told, power of suggestion.

And although sometimes the people believe they can sing really well, and maybe they can't, I bet they sing better now than they would do if they were told that they couldn't sing. And I bet, perhaps before the audition, they were quite happier, probably a lot happier than perhaps they would have been if they'd been told that they were useless and they're rubbish and stuff. So, probably a more ideal situation would find something that they are good at, and encourage them with that, maybe, than to just tell them that they're good at something that they're not.

However, it works. Telling someone that they can do something, regardless of whether they can do or not, they believe that they can do it, eventually, because they start telling themselves. So, some people might think, well, that makes sense.

Because if you do watch a talent show, and you see somebody who, perhaps, to be fair, they might just have a bad day, you know, they might have, what was I told someone, if you have cheese before an audition, your voice won't work properly, you know, it kind of clogs up your vocal cords. So, maybe they had a big, you know, big lump of cheese before going on.

I did an audition at the X Factor in 2005, and I had a cheese sandwich.

So, that's my excuse for not getting through. But then I never had anyone tell me that I could sing. I just know I can sing.

But maybe not to the, wasn't what they wanted at the time. I think I was doing a Michael Jackson song, and he was, I think he was going on trial or something. So, that probably wasn't a good timing for that.

So, belief is basically what we're talking about. Belief is so strong, so powerful, like the most powerful thing. And I'm no expert on religion, but I'm quite knowledgeable about Buddhism, and fairly up with Christianity due to being born in a Christian country, when it was a Christian country when I was a kid, you know, we had to read the Bible and sing carols and all that stuff.

So, I know about, when we did religious studies, the idea of faith, I come from it more from a psychological perspective than a religious perspective. But however you look at it, faith is the most powerful thing. Belief, faith, belief, it's the same thing, just another word.

Faith is kind of more the religious version of the word, but still means the same thing. Belief, true belief in something. If you truly believe that from now on, you will feel more relaxed all the time, you start to believe, really believe that you can deal with any situation.

In a calm, calm, relaxed way, and your mind will stay calm, and there's a level that it won't go past. When it comes to stress, there's a level that it won't go above. And you can make that your mind, you can make, let's say it's a zero to 10 scale, 10 being the worst.

So, you might say you're not allowing it to go above four on that scale. And once it gets to four, then kind of like a kettle, the pressure goes out of it, it switches off. Same as maybe like the other day, I was cooking something in the oven, I find it's the best place to cook.

And the fridge just doesn't seem to do the job. And the alarm went off, the smoke alarm went off. So, I opened the window.

And that was a very boring story. But there's a point to it, is that's what you do, isn't it? So, I turned the alarm off, more for the neighbours, because it was quite late at night, closed the kitchen door to stop any smoke from getting out, and opened the kitchen window. Then I dealt with the oven, you know, got the very burnt sausages out or whatever they were.

It's that automatic behaviour that doesn't even need thinking about. Open the window, close the kitchen door, turn the alarm off, in whichever order you want to do. But as you think about it, the stress level reaches four, the alarm goes off.

So, you open the window, or in your mind, you open the vent, you let the pressure out, you let the stress out. So, actually, the stress level goes down, maybe two or three or two or two. Turn the alarm off.

But then the alarm might only go off once it starts to reduce. Now, turn off, and you'll be able to just make sure you keep the door closed, which means that that stress level can't rise anymore. And I think sometimes it can be that alarm that we have kind of inbuilt, that can sometimes feel like a trigger to a panic attack, rather than a warning that there might be a panic attack if we perhaps, you know, don't address the stress levels.

So, it's differentiating from that, realise that maybe feeling a bit weird inside, feeling a bit, you know, stressed, anxious is just a sign, just a warning that metaphorically, you need to open the window. It's just the alarm. It's the alarm, but don't be alarmed.

Because it's something that you have control over, because you can turn the alarm off. So, this is something that can be useful to remember, because I've mentioned this before, but it's something that happened that really made me think about anxiety attacks in a different way. It's, I had a buzzing in my groin.

I was just sitting down at the desk in the office in the job I worked, and there was a vibration. And I went straight into what I thought was panic attack. It's probably the alarm, to be fair, the alarm going off in, you know, but I felt myself straight away going into the anxiety mode.

And I realised it was just my mobile phone on vibrate. Instantly, well, I started laughing. So, it's hard to laugh and be anxious at the same time.

It's possible, I suppose, but this was quite, I found it funny. And laughter generally would, you know, lead to a more relaxed body, a more relaxed mind. Because, you know, increasing endorphins increases a sense of pleasure, comfort, calmness, and relaxation.

And that's another thing it's useful to do is, it's part of the being kind to yourself. You know, getting, maybe watching some comedy, watching a comedy film, comedy show, TV show, stand-up comedy, either, you know, on Netflix, or maybe a comedy club, even if that's sort of, if you've got one close by, and you're up to that. Treat yourself to a bit of laughter.

You know, natural laughter that makes you feel good when you laugh. I know I do. It sort of makes your whole body kind of have a sense of pleasure, I suppose, and calmness.

So, belief is the most powerful thing in the world, when it comes to human beings, when it comes to how we think and how we feel, how we act, how we behave, when it comes to happiness, when it comes to stress, anxiety, panic, relaxation, chronic pain, when it comes to relationships, you know, the end, the list is, I would say the list is endless, but it probably isn't, it's just a very long list.

I mean, nothing's endless if you've got enough time. So, by talking to yourself, by telling yourself, you know, whatever it is, I'm going to feel more relaxed.

I'm going to feel more relaxed. I'm going to feel calmer. I can deal with the day ahead.

Because if you think about it, we've all got so many examples of when things went well, and unfortunately, the way that sometimes our brains operate, and I think it's more to do with conditioning, with it depends where you're born and kind of what society you live in. But I live in England, and it's a very negative, it can be a very negative society, focusing on the negatives rather than the positives.

And so, but there are other places that are more, a bit more upbeat, a bit more looking on, you know, the brighter side of things.

But then that can be an individual thing as well also. So it can be a challenge to change that conditioning, to think that things are going to be okay, and to remember times when things are okay. Because you think about it, if you've, like someone that sleeps, someone might be having trouble with insomnia.

They might have started in their 30s, and they might have had three years of it. Not every night, but maybe twice a week for three years, which is a drain, and to be pretty horrible to go through that. So that person, they may struggle to even remember a time when they slept well.

Even if it was yesterday, because they're focusing on the times that they didn't. Even if they're struggling to sleep every night, they seem to have forgotten that for 30 years, they slept fine. They got 30 years worth of examples of being able to sleep well.

Just like you and I have got, depend how old you are, but you know, let's say years and years and years. Of examples of feeling relaxed, you know, in various situations. If you move away from the times when you haven't, if you move away from the times when you felt stressed or anxious, you just forget those for a bit.

And then focus on all the times when you felt really good, really comfortable. Maybe really confident, able to deal with groups of people, able to deal with situations that may be a bit pressurized at times. And if that's the only examples you've got, then that's what you're going to expect.

And I'm not saying that that's always the case. And just because it's never happened before doesn't mean it's never going to happen. Because obviously, it's all the first time for everything.

So I'm not dismissing it. But for some reason, and the same happened with me, when I had the first major panic attack. That's when I, well, that's all I focused on.

That was the focus of my attention for pretty much all the time, until the next one. And until the next one, it took up my focus of attention. I didn't focus on feeling relaxed.

I didn't focus on all the 30 odd years of being, well, I can't really say being relaxed, because I've had stress issues over the years. But there's lots of thousands of examples where I feel, I felt completely relaxed and calm, thousands of examples. Yet the brain is kind of programmed, maybe it's just, maybe it's inbuilt.

Possible, it could be inbuilt, but it can be changed. I'd say it's programmed to focus on this stuff that's not useful. And, you know, ultimately, we're more likely to get what we think about.

So what can you say to yourself? That can be useful with the day ahead. What sentence can you say to yourself? Regardless of whether you believe it or not, can you say to yourself? I'll give you a few ideas of something you could say. But ultimately, it's up to you.

You could say, I'm feeling relaxed. My body's feeling relaxed. My mind is calm.

You could say, I believe in myself. I am a worthwhile person. I deserve to be happy.

I mean, those are very lovely things to say. But you may want to, you could mix it up. You could do a few different ones.

But when we're focusing on relaxation, focusing on how to how to keep those stress levels under that four, that level of number four, and, you know, below. Or whatever is a level of comfortable for you. And the more you do something, the easier it is to do.

And, you know, with muscle memory, we have muscle memory in our bodies. We have muscle memory in our brains as well. In our thought processes, we have, you know, patterns.

We have patterns of behavior. We have thought patterns. And you can create your own behavior.

You can create your own thought patterns as well. Based on repetition. Purely, as simple as that, repetition.

Keep saying to yourself, that which you want to believe, and eventually you will believe it. But at the same time, make sure it's something lovely. Make sure it's something healthy.

Because there are a lot of people out there that have been telling themselves that they're not good, they're no good. They've been telling themselves that they're ugly, that they're not worth anything, that they don't deserve to be loved, and all that stuff. Those kind of really horrible things they've been saying to themselves for years and years and years, and they believe it.

And maybe it's because someone else said it to them, and now they say it to themselves. Well, I'm telling you that you are worthwhile, and that you are an amazing person. I'm telling you that you can relax.

I'm telling you that you do deserve to be happy. I'm telling you that you should be kind to yourself. So now you can start telling yourself that.

And keep saying it. Keep reminding yourself. Because it brightens your mind.

It actually visually brightens your mind. It's like a, I don't mean it as a cliche, but like a ray of sunshine, literally. It's like you're getting this sunshine in your brain, stimulating your mind in a positive and happy, uplifting way, where you actually feel good about yourself.

Which just shows that you don't have to let anybody else, or anybody else's words or actions, affect how you feel about yourself. Because it's what you say to yourself that counts. It's the things that you say to yourself continuously that affect your life.

And this isn't just a light-hearted discussion about something that might just have a bit of an effect. These are things that really, really affect your life. It's serious stuff.

And you deserve to get rid of that stuff. Any of those, like, harmful thoughts that you've had in the past, things that you've said to yourself. And I'll come back to something I've said loads of times when it comes to self-dialogue, talking to ourselves, is, would you say that to a small child? Would you go to a small child? Would you go up to someone that you really care about?

Your child, your grandchild, your niece, nephew, your brother, sister, whoever? Or, you know, a complete stranger in the street.

Would you go up to a child and say, whatever it is you're saying to yourself, that horrible thing that you're saying? I reckon the answer's no to that. And the answer why, why wouldn't you, is because you wouldn't want to upset them. Because it's horrible.

It's a horrible thing to say to a kid. But you're just as important as that child. In fact, you know, logically, it's worth saying it to yourself, because however horrible it would be to say that to your niece or nephew, you're probably only going to say it once to them.

When you're saying it to yourself, you'll be saying it over and over again, maybe for years, you may be hearing it for years, saying it to yourself and believing it. So maybe it's time to just apologize to yourself about that. And stop it.

Don't worry, I'm not telling you off. I'm just saying, stop it. Because it's time to be kind to yourself.

It really is. I'm not even kidding, seriously. So choose, you can just choose one thing, one thing you want to say to yourself.

It can be something that I've thought up, that I've said already, or it could be your own thing. It doesn't matter because it's going to be in your voice. And just keep saying it to yourself.

Or you can test ones out to find how you feel when you say these things to yourself. You could even go as far as writing out a list of things that you would love somebody else to say to you. Make sure they're all positive, all uplifting, and all useful.

Something that you would like to believe about yourself that will transform your life for the better. And it could be a list of 20, it could be 120, it could be five, it doesn't matter. And maybe every morning when you wake up, you read them out loud to yourself.

So you make it written as, I am, I will, I can. And you repeat it to yourself. All of the list before you get up in the morning, and before you go to sleep at night.

That's if you want to. Again, these are just suggestions. You can gain lots just by listening.

By doing nothing else but listening, because it will still have a positive effect. How could it not? I could put together a recording for an hour of just telling you that you're beautiful, and you're lovely, and you're kind, and you deserve to be happy. And I could just list off, you know, 500 different sentences, and just do an hour of that.

For you to listen to. And if you listen to that every day for, you know, six months, a year, your life will change. I can't be bothered to do it, but I'm just saying, maybe I should.

But hearing positive, kind words from a stranger, like me, I suppose, I won't feel like a stranger if you listen to me regularly. But to hear those words from me, or from anyone else, and ultimately, from yourself, telling yourself these things, transforms your mind, changes, it physically changes the chemistry in your brain. This isn't just like a thought thing, isn't just, you know, some existential thing, this is a physical change in your brain.

Your brain changes its shape, you know, new neurological networks are created. It activates parts of your brain that maybe weren't being activated before. And let's face it, if you've been having problems with anxiety and stuff like that, then the relaxation part of your brain hasn't been as active as it has needed to be.

So now it will be. It'll be activated, it'll be growing stronger. Every day, it'll get stronger.

So I'm going to go, I want to thank you for listening. I'm not going to count from three to one, or one to three, or anything like that. I'm just gonna, if you are kind of a bit tranced out with me just talking, or if you've fallen asleep through boredom, you know, you can open your eyes whenever you want.

You may not have closed your eyes, but just do whatever you need to do. But please, just make sure that you've absorbed what you've needed to absorb. And let me know how you get on.

And I'll speak to you next time. Bye.